If You're Not Dead
by XxFearTheFluffxX
Summary: They say the best answers are the ones you find yourself. My own philosophy, the answer I found, is: 'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about.'. It's really too bad that the best answers aren't always the right ones. DeidaraXOC
1. The Philosophy and the Idol

The sun, bright and high in the mid-afternoon sky, beat down on my head mercilessly. It's sticky heat and almost painful glare – which was the stuff of legends where I came from, where it rained more often than not – made concentration on the task at hand difficult to maintain for _normal_ people. Given I have the attention span of a hyperactive two year old let loose in a sweet shop at the best of times, it was practically _impossible_ for _me_ to hang on to. Sweat trickled down my face and arms – both of which I could feel starting to burn despite the pathetic shade provided by the forest canopy – tickling me in an irritating fashion and causing my clothes to stick in places they ought not stick.

_What a rotten day to be on a bloody mission! _I thought bitterly, swiping at a wasp near my left ear – and missing, much to my disappointment. _Ninja or not, if I have to put up with this heat much longer I'm giving up. Screw the mission! I'm losing a large percentage of my body fluid here!_

Of course that wasn't the _only_ problem with my current assignment; in addition to the blistering temperature, blinding glare and extreme physical discomfort, there was the very real possibility that I could be caught and... _ahem_... disposed of, shall we say? I know what you must be thinking: if getting spotted were such a problem why didn't I finish my mission during the night? Well I _could, _I suppose. But it would be harder to _see_ that way and what I was attempting was a very delicate process; one false move and 'BOOM' – flame-grilled Mizuko with a side of crispy salad. And before any smart asses say it, using a torch was definitely out of the question; might as well wear a neon sign saying 'kill me'.

Wiping the sweat from my brow with as loud a frustrated sigh as I dared, I focused once more on the barrier tag secured inconspicuously to the same beech I'd been kneeling in front of for going on an hour and twenty minutes now. It was a very complex piece of work even for me! _My hat goes off to whoever made it, _I commended silently – though the chances were if I ever actually _met _them it would be a lot more than my hat that came off. But then what more could I expect from a group like Akatsuki? Considering the effort they'd gone to to keep it hidden, they were hardly going to let me off with a slap on the wrists for trying to break into one of their bases.

Technically though, I wouldn't be the one to actually _break in, _thank God. When it came to combat I was of little use; something a certain team mate of mine took joy in reminding me of. My pathetic array of ninjutsu was _very_ specialized and mainly defensive, and my taijutsu was mediocre at best – seriously, there were kids fresh out of the Academy who could probably kick my butt. I was _quite_ skilled with genjutsu – or better with it, at least, than I was with the other disciplines – but I couldn't guarantee that there wasn't anyone in there who was more skilled. Say, Itachi Uchiha, for example. If _he_ was in there my genjutsu would be as useless as a boat in the desert... Besides my _real_ forte was with traps, barriers and escape techniques. All three of which I'd be making use of today.

At last, after a long haul of blood (figuratively speaking), sweat and tears (quite literally), I finally deciphered the seals on the tag and by extension, was able to decide on the hand signs needed to break the stupid thing.

I forgot to mention that I have the rare ability to analyse almost any trap and come up with the exact Jutsu required to counter it in seconds. My sensei says I'm a natural but honestly, I think it's because it's one of the few areas of being a ninja I ever really had an interest in. I _hate_ getting my hands dirty and if something can be solved without a battle I'll do it.

Taking a deep breath that was three parts relief and two parts exhaustion, I executed the hand signs perfectly and slammed my right palm against the tag, directing my chakra to the point of contact. "Trap Shatter Jutsu!"

Instantly, the tag caught fire and was turned to ash in no time, leaving a slightly charred patch on the tree which I – for no reason in particular – found extremely satisfying. Smiling triumphantly, I looked up as the genjutsu barrier dissipated and a surprisingly well-kept building swam into sight. A perfectly normal building by the looks of it. Quite big – well it would have to be; I'd heard there were at least nine members – with pale beige walls, a grey tiled roof, simple glass windows and a big black wooden door. Nothing out of the ordinary... except for the hassle they went to to avoid it being seen. It looked like the kind of place a wealthy civilian family might come to for their holidays. Maybe it was... or _had_ been, back in a time before Akatsuki had pounced on it.

Raising the same hand I'd used to break the trap above my head, I made a signal. Before I had time to blink, hordes of Leaf and Sand ninja were on me like flies on stink and I had to fight to keep my features impassive as my heart jumped into my throat from the shock. I mean I'd been expecting them but come _on_; any faster and I've have thought they were attacking _me_!

They rushed past with barely a glance in my direction, getting into pre-ordained positions to await some other signal marking the start of the raid. Most of the ninja were young chuunin, though I wasn't dumb enough to believe that was the _highest_ level here. There were at _least_ a dozen or so jounin, maybe a few ANBU too... But regardless of ranking they all shared one common trait – a blood-lust that I could feel sparking through the air like electricity.

Smirking to myself, I turned away from the army and strode over to a nearby cluster of shrubbery where I'd wisely stowed some supplies that morning. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a bottle of cool, fresh water and downed it in one, finishing it greedily just as a bulky Sand ninja thumped his heavy hand on my shoulder. My bones juddered and I resisted the urge to scold him for his heavy-handedness just as I would any other who did the same.

_You're representing our Village, Mizuko, _Lord Shibuki's stern voice echoed in my ears. _So _please_, try to behave yourself, okay?_

"Good job, Mizuko. Very good job. We're forever in your debt," the gruff Sand nin rumbled, reminding me, aptly, of a yeti. _Yeah, you do!_ I'd endured scorching heat, dehydration and swarms of biting insects for them – I didn't even do well in _regular_ heat! They owed me _big_ time and I would not soon forget it!

However, all too aware of the kind of ear-bashing I'd get from Lord Shibuki if I somehow managed to insult one of the five Great Shinobi Villages, I held my tongue. Shrugging out from under the man's hand, I called his name to mind after some intense memory sifting. He was Baki, the leader of the Sand ninja on this operation.

"It was my pleasure, Baki." _Only it wasn't a pleasure at all. _"The trap was much more... _testing_ than I'd have imagined. Still, the trap hasn't been invented that Mizuko Shinoske can't unravel," I wiped the sliver of escaped water from my mouth with my sleeve, then dug around in my bag for the second bottle of water I'd brought, thanking my forethought for such an insightful decision .

"Will you be going back to the Waterfall Village now?" he asked, simultaneously giving orders to his troops via hand signals – something I found quite rude but, again, kept my own counsel about. It's not like I could talk anyway; I wasn't exactly gracing him with my undivided attention either.

I let out a breath as I finished the water and shook my head slowly. "No. I plan on going back to the small town a few miles west of here and restocking before I start the journey home. I'll be there for a few days so if you need me again you know where to look."

"Yes, of course. Have a safe journey back and relay our thanks to your leader, Lord Shibuki."

"I will." I replied turning my back on him and heading west, just as I'd said I would. Tempting as it was to keep going until I was out of sight and then change direction so they _couldn't_ find me, I decided I _would_ go to the town for a bit. Shibuki would have my head if he found out I'd lied to them like that – and knowing my luck he _would_ find out. He always did, despite my best efforts.

I'd only been walking through the timeless forest for about a minute and a half before I could hear the beginnings of the battle mingling with the peaceful, everyday sounds of nature. It was a strange thing really, to hear the clash of kunai and shuriken mixed in with the lulling sound of calling birds and the whooshing of the trees as their branches swayed in the wind.

That was one thing about me not many would really expect; I _loved_ the natural world. For all my rebelliousness and devil-may-care attitude, I was a naturist at heart. What was a single, unremarkable leaf to someone else was a wondrous, unique work of art to me. The way it's veins spread out in a specifically designed yet seemingly haphazard way; the way the various shades of green melded together perfectly, unnoticeable to anyone not looking for it. It was _beautiful_. Everything, from leaves and insects to clouds and birds, it was all art in it's finest form. And what's life without a little art, I ask you?

The walk to town was, for the most part, an enjoyable affair – discounting the sweat clinging to my skin that I had no way of dealing with at present. The forest through which I made my own path soon gave way to a dusty, well-travelled road that I used for the rest of the journey, enjoying the sights and sounds of a world with much to offer for those who knew what to look for as I went. My mother was always telling me that the secret to happiness was to appreciate all the little things in life. My Gramps – a philosopher among philosophers – had often said, long before I became a ninja, that each day was a gift because you never knew how many you had left. From their combined wisdom I'd come up with my _own_ philosophy: 'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about'.

This 'philosophy', as I called it, was the guiding principal for my every decision in life. Everything I ever did linked back to this core belief – well, that and my Gramps, who I practically idolised even at _my _age.

Though I couldn't know it yet, I was soon going to find out how very _wrong_ that philosophy could be.

**And so it was that chapter 1 was re-written!**


	2. A Little Girl, an Old Woman and Dreams

The very first thing I did when I reached the town, as anyone can imagine, was scour the area for a suitable Inn. I'm sure I don't have to say it but a bath or a shower or some form of _wash_ was in order before I even _considered_ anything else.

If I was telling myself the truth – which I'll admit, I usually don't – I had absolutely _no_ desire to return to the Village Hidden in the Waterfall at all – _ever_. There was no _plausible_ reason for me to delay my return – although I did a good job convincing Baki if I do say so myself – I just didn't want to go back. Now, we could get into to all the 'why''s and 'why not''s but what it all came down to was this; I longed for _freedom_. I was sick of living life the way my Village dictated, sick of following orders that half the time I didn't totally agree with but ended up carrying out anyway because the repercussions otherwise were too severe. In all seriousness, being a ninja wasn't _quite_ the glamorous job I'd once thought it was and every day that passed made me wish more and more that I'd listened to my mother when she said I should become a baker, like her. The years had shown I wasn't really cut out to be a decent ninja and nowadays I doubted there was much I wouldn't give to go back and change it...

Don't get me wrong, I cared about my village very much and I'd _never_ do anything to put it in jeopardy – I had _some_ pride. If that's what it took to make my dream a reality, I'd quite happily abandon it and submit fully to the fate of a Shinobi. I'd put my life on the line to protect my home just as readily as the next ninja. Still... it's nice to have a dream, hm? And I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. 'The pleasure of a dream is that it's a fantasy. If it happens it was never a dream.', as my late grandfather used to say.

Speaking of dreams and the like, I was starting to wonder if my hopes of finding an Inn were nothing but a dream. My eyes, heavy with the exhaustion of a long day doing a thankless job, nonetheless scanned the streets in that hyper-alert way only a ninja's could, but there was no sign of an Inn, Bed and Breakfast, Hotel or other accommodation establishment. There were tonnes of stalls, all lining the narrow streets and selling all sorts of things from sweet treats, drinks and snacks, to stuffed toys, souvenirs and clothes, among other things. All the items on offer were targeted at tourists, I noted with some bitterness. So _why_, then, were there no Inns?!

As I trumped through what I assumed was the main street, feet aching for the feel of warm water between my toes, a small, wiry girl with blonde pigtails zipped past chasing a scraggly grey tomcat, squealing gleefully as she stretched her little hands out in a bid to grab it's tail. Without any hesitation my hand shot out from my side with a speed too fast for her but comparatively slow for a ninja, easily catching the back of her baggy pink t-shirt. I did this for two reasons:

One, I felt sorry for the poor cat – I had a sneaking suspicion this wasn't it's first game of tag with the girl. Two, if she was a local (and I was almost certain she was) she could take me to an Inn.

"Hey, short stack!" I smiled cheerily, releasing her when I was sure I had her full focus – or as much focus as a girl her age could be expected to have. "Do you know where I can find an Inn?" At first she said nothing; just stared at me stupidly as if I had two heads, eyes the size of saucers, mouth hanging open just slightly so that I could see she was missing a few of her milk teeth. She blinked a few times – the kind of dazed, not quite there blink I normally reserved for lectures from my superiors – and I could feel my smile fading as I wondered if she was mentally stable. _Really Mizuko? How stable can she be? She was chasing a cat for God's sake! _Then, without warning, she cracked a toothy (give or take a few incisors) grin and nodded as if her head were attached to a spring.

"Yeah, Miss! You want Grandma Miagi's place. She owns the best Inn in town." she exclaimed in a typically high pitched, girly voice that made me wince. "I think it's the _only_ one too... I'll take you if you want?"

Putting it mildly, I was _startled_ by her sudden burst of enthusiasm. _Weird kid..._ But a guide's a guide so held my tongue and nodded, forcing a polite if somewhat strained smile onto my face – it's not like she noticed anyway. As she darted off at an astonishing speed, I followed the pink ball of energy placidly, listening as we went to her constant, uninteresting chatter. Half the time I couldn't hear her over the sounds of the busy town but what I did hear was either rubbish, irrelevant or both.

"Are you a ninja, Miss? I _think_ you are; you have to be, 'cause' you've got a fancy headband. _I'd_ like to be a ninja when I grow up but daddy says it's not a good job 'cause' you get into loads of fights and sometimes you get really hurt or you die... There's a festival on just now, you know, so I dunno if Ms Miagi will have any space left but you could try anyway. If she has then you should stay for the festival; it's always really good fun with music and fireworks and parades and – oh! Did you see all the stalls? They're for games and selling stuff! If Ms Miagi doesn't have any rooms you could come stay with me if you want..."

And on and on she went, talking about utmost rubbish as if the world was gonna end before she got the chance to say everything she had to say – her speed on foot, impressive as it was for a civilian child, was _nothing_ to this. I''ll admit, I _did_ want to stay for the festival – we didn't have many back home and besides, a festival in a place that was unfamiliar appealed to my sense of adventure – but if the old innkeeper didn't have a room I was _so_ outta here! Nothing was worth this torture. _Nothing._

As I tried to ignore the strange girl's hundred-mile-an-hour gabbing, I absorbed the typically festive – as one would expect, it being a festival and all – scenery zipping past me on both sides. Everywhere I looked there were flags and banners of every imaginable colour hanging between the roofs of the quaint little houses and plastered on the walls and stalls. Brightly coloured paper lanterns and origami animals and flowers flaunted their delicate beauty all over the place and I was reminded of the Rain Festival my village had one year while I was still in the Academy – my class had been in charge of the decorations and I can assure you they looked _nothing_ like these. Everyone we passed wore a smile and was involved with some sort of preparation for the party.

"Here we are!" the girl interrupted my reprieve with that exceptionally infuriating voice of hers. "I hope I see you at the festival tomorrow! And my name's Kizuno by the way," she called back, running off before I had the chance to thank her – not that I was going to complain mind you. I waved vaguely, not sure whether she would see or not and not giving a toss either.

The building in front of me was as lavishly decorated for the celebration as the houses in town, sporting two lanterns at either corner of it's roof and a string of red, blue and green triangular flags bridging the gap between. A small sign about half the size of an A4 sheet of paper was visible in the window on the left – 'Old Miagi's Travel Lodge' it read. Other than that there was nothing that distinguished it from the rest of the town.

Able to practically _feel_ the hot water of a relaxing bath wash over my aching muscles already, I entered without a second thought and approached the small, squashed looking reception desk. An elderly woman who looked far enough over the hill to be close to being buried under it sat behind the flat, wooden panel, reading a book entitled 'The Secrets to Looking Young'. It was really quite laughable – the woman, who by this point I assumed was Ms Miagi, had more wrinkles than a newborn bull dog. Her days of looking young were gone and then some and clearly she wasn't benefiting from any tips the book had to offer. I coughed into my fist to cover a rude but irrepressible giggle and she looked up with a kind smile.

"Can I help you, deary?"

Her voice was light and scratchy, as if she'd made a habit of jamming a wire brush down her throat, but I felt instantly guilty for thinking of her so disrespectfully a second ago. She sounded like a genuinely pleasant old woman, the kind of little old lady who you met at parks with her grand kids and who offered you sweets with a smile. I can imagine what my Gramps – and _worse_, my mother – would say if they'd known what I'd thought about her.

Brushing the disturbing thoughts aside, I cleared my throat and offered her a smile of my own. "Umm... Yes. I'm looking for a place to stay for a few days and I was wondering if you had a room available?"

"Oh yes, sweetie, I _do_ as a matter of fact. It's my last one! The other two were taken just a few moments ago by a group of tourists here for the festival. Quite lucky, aren't you, dear?" she said, speaking in those ancient tones of hers and nodding as if to answer her own question. Reaching behind her she took a small silver key from it's hook and heaved herself up from the stool. "This way love,"

I frowned in disapproval as she shuffled away from her post, discarding the book and grabbing a gnarled walking stick from under the desk. The only thing on the ground floor besides the desk and a lonely looking potted plant in the corner was the finely carved oak staircase leading to the second floor; meaning my room must be up them. Unless it was through the solitary door _behind_ the desk but I reckoned that was the old woman's private living quarters. Looking at Ms Miagi, older than anyone I'd ever seen – which was perfectly reasonable given that most people I'd seen were ninja and didn't live very long anyway – I wasn't sure about her ability to climb them without doing herself some damage. I didn't want her to break a hip or something on my account.

"That's alright, Ms Miagi; if you give me the key I'm sure I can find it myself," She ignored me to begin with – something I couldn't help but feel a tremor of irritation at – lifting up a folding part of the desk next to the stairs so she could lead me to the room. She didn't acknowledge my offer until she'd made her slow, agonising way to the foot of the stairs, at which point she turned and patted my hand in that way that all people over the age of fifty seemed to.

"Thanks for your concern, sweetie but I'll be okay. There's life in these old bones yet! If you could lend me your arm to steady myself though, I'd appreciate it,"

_Obviously there's some life in your bones, you old coot; it's how much of it I'm worried about_. Regardless of my concerns – and I was truly worried that she might fall and, I dunno, _die_ or something – I took her withered arm in mine and assisted her diligently in the painfully slow process of ascending the steps.

The stairs, made of a once proud, solid oak, were creaky with age I noted. That was good; a creaky house had a homely feel to it. A lived in, warm, _welcoming_ quality that newer, non-creaking houses couldn't quite imitate. It was a comfort in a strange way – like coming home to find the lights on and the heating up on a cold, dark winter night.

As we reached the top – at long bloody last, I might add! – I spotted an amazingly beautiful watercolour painting opposite the mouth of the staircase. I wasn't much into painting as an art form; my preferences lay in more abstract media, the more unusual and unique the better. I once met a woman who made perfect landscapes using nothing but a little glue and some leaves and things from her garden – art was creativity so I felt each artist should have at least _some_ originality.

Even given my reservations where art was concerned I had to admit it was a gorgeous piece. The main focus was an elegant, long-necked swan, so lifelike I thought it might fly away at the sound of our approach. It glided peacefully over a crystal-clear lake, in which I could see the sun in the sky reflected as a million tiny fractures of colour. The banks, far in the distance, were lined with tall, bowing reeds and tiny lilac dots that I somehow _knew _were lilies. Such a magnificent, professional painting must be worth quite a few bob and then some!

How I wished _I_ could paint like that – with _that_ much artistic skill I'm sure no one would complain if I chose to quit the Shinobi scene and become a professional painter. Maybe one day, when I wasn't too busy with my non-stop ninja-ing, I'd learn how to paint. I'd never be anywhere near as good as the creator of this masterpiece but at the very least it would give me an escape route, if only for a while.

"Here we are, m' love! Room 3." Ms Miagi cut into my fanciful daydreaming with her kindly croak. "If you need anything, anything at all, I'll be either down stairs at the desk or in my living area. There's a bell on the desk so if I'm not around, ring it and I'll come running!" she laughed, handing me the key and hobbling away to the stairs again. I forced a laugh too and watched her until she made it to the bottom of the stairs unharmed – I sincerely hoped she was joking about the running part.

Taking my key, I unlocked the door with the brass three on it and slid into the room beyond, sparing a last admiring look at the painting before snapping it shut behind me. With a brief but meticulous once over, I took in the layout of the place at a glance, obeying the long ingrained ninja codes of conduct when entering unknown territory.

The bed wasn't what I'd call large but it wasn't exactly small either – it was probably most aptly described as a comfy fit for one and a snug fit for two. It's mahogany headboard, plain but giving off faint traces of class, rested against the centre of the wall on my left, the bed dominating the floor space and creating a little walk way which surrounded it on three sides. Directly on my right, almost tucked right in the corner, there was another door that presumably lead to the bathroom – I tried not to let my heart burst with excitement at this discovery. Ahead of me, on the bed's left side, was a window fitted with light, flowing curtains and at the foot of the bed there was a wide dressing table with a large mirror and three drawers for the guests clothes; this place clearly wasn't intended to suit extended-period visitors. The entire room seemed to have been based on the colour pink; pink walls, pink curtains, pink bedspread... The only things that _weren't_ pink were the polished wooden floor, doors, headboard and dresser! I wondered what Ms Miagi would do if she got a particularly _manly_ man as a guest, who didn't like her pink motif.

Sighing, half relieved and half exhausted, I dumped my bag under the bed and went to study my reflection in the dressing table mirror. As I'd suspected there were bags under my eyes and my skin, usually a soft creamy pink colour, was the opaque white that bespoke of missed meals and overwork. That trap I'd disabled earlier today had been infuriatingly complex; I'd been at it since 2am despite having studied it the day before. At the time I'd thought four hours at most was all it would take but that was before I discovered the nasty addition of bomb-firing tripwires – those _alone_ had taken me four hours to neutralise. Those Akatsuki were some dicey dudes, I can tell you that for nothing!

Thanks to my not-so-fantastic idea of leaving breakfast till _after_ the mission and my even worse decision to _not_ pack food, I looked like death warmed up. My long white hair looked dank and lifeless – a result, I'm sure, of the extreme sweating I'd done today – and my honey coloured eyes were dim with pent up fatigue. My clothes were kind of dirty too, the mint green yakuta-style top I always wore for missions stained with mud, sweat and a little blood from a cut on my cheek I got trying to avoid a kunai fired from another trap. The grime was especially visible on the lilac tie and lilac lining around the edges of my top and I winced at the thought of what the townsfolk must have thought as I walked by. My plain black trousers and standard Ninja shoes weren't so bad but even so I was going to ask Ms Miagi to wash them – there was simply _no_ way I was putting them back on as they were.

I checked the small clock on the dresser before deciding on a game plan. It was quarter past six in the evening. Right! First I was going to have a nice hot bath and get ready for bed; then I'd go down stairs and ask Ms Miagi to wash my clothes for me; after that I was going to have an early night so I could wake up nice and refreshed for the festival tomorrow. A nice simple three step plan!

**The second chapter is also rewritten! :D**


	3. Ninja'd Out

There are, generally speaking, only two different types of 'tired' that non-ninja personnel can experience; plain old regular tired and down right exhausted. For Shinobi however, there exists a third level of fatigue far surpassing the kind of enervation comprehensible to normal folk. It is a stage of such physical and mental lassitude that there's no suitable word, really, to properly describe it – though my team mates and I jokingly dubbed the ailment 'Ninja-d out', on the rare occasions we actually had the _time_ to joke these days. Lord Shibuki had been working all available ninja to the bone recently and I found myself 'Ninja-d out' more often than not.

By the time I was _finally_ ready for bed I was most definitely 'Ninja-d out'. I know what you're thinking. _She hardly did any work at all at the Akatsuki base. All she did was break the barrier; she didn't actually _fight. Am I right? Well then, tough guy, let's see you break a barrier like that and remain _standing_ let alone moderately functional.

After a well-deserved and thoroughly _needed_ shower, which lasted far longer than I'd intended it to, I dropped my clothes off with the elderly innkeeper and rushed back to my room, head filled with thoughts of soft pillows, cosy quilts and not much else if I was being honest. I barely registered Ms Miagi's craggy farewell, acknowledging her only with a heavy-headed nod and a yawn that made my nose hurt. I hoped I didn't seem rude, though I reckoned she wouldn't say anything even if I did; she was a kind soul and far be it from me to take kindness for granted. In the Shinobi world, kindness was a quality many neglected nowadays.

I walked with my eyes glued to my feet, watching their progress with an intensity that would have scared anyone who saw me; tired as I was there was a chance I might fall back down the stairs if I wasn't careful. With each step my eyelids seemed to get heavier and heavier, the warm embrace of sleep ever more welcoming – it was so tempting to just sit down and fall asleep on the stairs! But the thought of Ms Miagi coming up to wake my neighbours in the morning and falling over me in the process made me keep going.

At last, after what felt like an age too long, I put my foot down on the top step and pushed off with a bit more force than was necessary, anticipating the restfulness of a full night's sleep, and effectively launching myself in the general direction of my door. It was my _intention_ – notice the emphasis on 'intention' – to round the corner and reach my room in one speedy movement. What actually happened was a bit different and definitely _not_ my intention.

"Ooof!" an unfamiliar voice cried out as my head collided with something very hard and sturdy. It took me a moment, in my sleep-deprived state, to realize that the some_thing _was really a some_one _and that the hard and sturdy thing was their fairly muscled body.

However, by the time I discovered this vaguely interesting fact it immediately became the least of my worries – a sort of peripheral breakthrough, totally obscured by the much more worrying fact that I was no longer standing on solid ground. It didn't take me as long to figure out what had happened as it did to puzzle out that I'd bumped into a _person_, but I still wasn't fast enough – a recurring theme in my career as a ninja.

The moment my head had connected with the stranger, my own momentum – built up through a careless attempt to reach my bed faster – sent me flying backwards, straight down the stairs. I _tried_ grabbing for the wooden banister and missed by a few infuriating inches, clutching at thin air instead. Grasping the fact that I couldn't reach it anymore, I sent chakra to my feet to try and reinforce my grip. To my credit, that _might_ have worked... if I'd had any chakra left to use.

Out of ideas, I did the only thing I _could_ do – I let my arms flap uselessly while I screamed as if Akatsuki themselves were at my door (which, ironically enough, they were... in a way). As gravity – the fickle mistress who never _truly_ worked in my favour – dragged me down, I screwed my eyes shut and contemplated that first agonizing crack when my spine would hit the step and snap like a twig.

_What a dumb way to die, _I thought bitterly. _I have to admit though, it actually befits a ninja of my pathetic standing..._

Suddenly a pair of powerful hands tightened around the upper parts of my arms and hauled me wordlessly back towards the landing. It was kinda sore and I was certain I'd have some charming bruises in the morning, but that was much preferable to a broken backbone. So instead of shying away as was my instinct, I wrapped my arms around the arms of my saviour and held on for dear life – I can say this much; where bruises were concerned, I'm sure I gave as good as I got. As it turned out, I needn't have bothered fastening myself to them; the stranger was plenty strong enough to pull me to safety by themselves.

With an almighty lurch we both tumbled to the ground, my face bumping into a very solid feeling shoulder, fingers still digging into the mystery hero's arms. I couldn't open my eyes – fear and overpowering weariness had frozen them shut. When the stranger tried to get up I refused to release their arms; not intentionally but rather through a temporary inability to perform the simple action of uncurling my hands. I expected them to struggle against me – any wholly _sane_ person would have – but they just laughed, a light, boyish snicker hinting at youth and immaturity.

Panting, I chuckled a bit too, though it was more from giddy relief than at my own stupidity. Minutes passed in awkward silence and I still, to my embarrassment, couldn't bring myself to let go of him – nor to open my eyes for that matter, which somehow made the whole thing worse. I guess my rescuer got tired waiting because after about five minutes he spoke, tone encouraging with a strong undercurrent of amusement.

"You can open your eyes now, un," he assured, wriggling a little under me. I swear I could _hear_ the smirk. "And if it's not too much trouble, could you let go? That hurts, un."

Slowly, I released my vice-like hold on him, allowing him some basic movement. It took a little while longer but at last, with extreme caution, I opened my eyes. As soon as I did I wished I'd thought to get up first; or at the very least for his face to not be quite so close.

Even with my vision as blurred with sleep as it was, there was no escaping the pull of the amazingly blue eyes staring up at me. Well _eye _really, as one of his eyes was hidden by a long, silken blonde curtain of hair. I could see that some of his hair was pulled up in a ponytail, though most of it seemed to just hang down his back with a careless sloppiness that could rival my own. On his forehead I could see a headband from the Village Hidden in the Stone; it had a peculiar scratch through the emblem that I assumed was the result of a particularly difficult mission and a _very _lucky escape. _A ninja then..._ His clothes were that of an ordinary nin - basic trousers and shoes, a top that showed off his midriff and a fishnet t-shirt beneath. However none of this is what caught my attention; no, what _really_ stopped me in my tracks was his smile.

It was more of a cheeky grin than anything else – or at least I _think_ it was; I'm not very good with facial expressions so all I knew for sure was that it was a smile of _some_ sort. Anyway, whatever it was was _cute__,_ I guess is what I'm trying to say. It was the type of irresistible smile a kid gives their parents when they know they've been bad. You know. The one that has them wanting to give the kid a squashy hug despite the fact that they've misbehaved? What made it worse was the fact that his face (and his charming smile) was less than a foot away from me. As though to add insult to injury, I could feel my cheeks burning as I rushed to get off him.

It took a fair bit of effort but I somehow managed to get to my feet without doing anything that might cause another awkward situation – let's face it, the one I'd just endured had been bad enough. Unfortunately, for all my endeavours to save the last scrap of my dignity, I couldn't tear my gaze away from his face. And as one would expect, he noticed.

"If you want, I'll let you take a picture, un." he laughed, brushing himself down casually, acting as if this sort of thing was everyday for him. And I wouldn't be surprised if it _was_ either. I mean the ogling part, not necessarily the rescuing thing.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts – which didn't actually work given that I was getting too tired to even _see_ straight let alone _think_ straight – and put on the best apologetic face I could muster. "I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going." I murmured, face still as red as a beet. _This is just too humiliating. _"Thanks for... uh... helping me." He nodded, looking down at me expectantly – he wasn't _especially_ tall but he was at least a head higher than me – and I continued, not sure what he wanted me to say. "I'm, uh, Mizuko Shinoske. What's your name?"

I held my hand out and he shook it casually after the briefest hesitation – a pause so short that had I not been a ninja I'd have definitely missed it. I noticed, with the vague, dreamy sort of observation of a person seconds from falling into a deep sleep, that he wore deep purple nail polish.

"Deidara. You're a bit clumsy aren't you, un?"

"Not really. I'm just tired." I disagreed sourly.

"Easy, un! No need to bite my head off!"He held his hands up in a show of surrender, chuckling lightly at my sharp tone and – amazingly – making me feel _guilty_ for snapping at him.

"I _should_ learn to watch where I'm going though." I sighed, trying (for a reason I had yet to examine) to lighten the mood again. He nodded his agreement and I took it to mean my bad manners were forgiven. "So anyway, you here on a mission?" He gave me a funny look and I quickly clarified. "I just thought, since you're a ninja, you might be here on a mission. It's unusual to see any ninja in a place like this."

He smirked and in that moment I saw a hint of something unpleasant... something cold and cruel that didn't generally show up on his exterior. But then it was gone and I had to wonder – in the same way as someone who gets deja vu – if I'd really even seen it at all.

"I guess you could say that, un. But it's not so much a mission as it's... _volunteer_ work." The way he said it – with a twist of almost sadistic pleasure – made me feel like I was being left out of a horrible joke, strengthening the likelihood that I _had_ seen something in him a second ago. I didn't want to seem impolite so I carried on regardless; I don't think I'd've _wanted _to know anyway.

"Are you a chuunin? In my village, chuunin take on extra missions to prepare for the jounin exams." _Or have extra missions thrust upon them by their slave-driver Leader, like me._

"Nope. I'm already jounin level, un. I just didn't have anything else to do." Deidara replied and again I had the weirdest sensation of being left out of the loop. I ignored it again, thinking it was just me and my exhaustion seeing shadows where there were none.

"Wow. A jounin? Really? I'm still only chuunin." I yawned, failing to sound very enthusiastic and losing the will to care about it. Half turning to the door behind which I knew there was a bed just waiting for me, I waved a friendly goodbye to the blonde pretty-boy. "It was nice meeting you Deidara, but I think I'm gonna to get myself to bed now. You wouldn't _believe_ the day I've had."

"See ya, un."

After one final wave I opened the door, turning the knob with barely suppressed anticipation. The bed loomed there in the semi-darkness as promised like a beautiful oasis, and all the fatigue of the day came crashing down on me at once. I forgot Deidara and everything else instantaneously, my entire focus on just reaching the bed before I collapsed. As my knees hit the edge of the mattress they crumpled beneath me, my body sinking into the soft quilt that I was too lazy to pull over myself – I was asleep before I had time to even try.

I suppose if I'd been at the top of my game I probably would have realized there was something very wrong with Deidara... I mean apart from the maybe-maybe-not delusions of evil I'd seen in him.

I was sure – or at least the part of me that was all ninja, 24-7, was sure – I recognized him from somewhere. But as unconsciousness folded in around me I failed to retain my ability to care.

**And chapter three has been rewritten as well! I forgot to mention that I'm going to try and change the titles of the chapters I've edited so that my old readers will be able to tell which have been done and which haven't. If I can't think of a better name or I like the name I gave it in the first place, it'll stay the same.**


	4. Festive Nightmares? It Beggars Belief!

I didn't wake until late afternoon the following day, which I supposed was a good thing since that meant I had very little time to wait until the festival started. It wasn't that I _minded_ waiting or anything, I just preferred the fun to start right away as opposed to later, when I might not feel up to it. Yeah... on top of my utterly _ridiculous_ ninja skills, I was lazy to boot.

Rolling over in bed, quilt wrapped securely around me like a cocoon, I sighed longingly, wishing I could slip back into the wonderful dream I'd been having. I couldn't remember it exactly – the only time I ever had vivid dreams was when I dared to eat cheese before bed (_not _something I advise by the way) – but I was sure there had been a swan and chocolate involved. Any dream with chocolate in it _had_ to have been good.

As I prepared to snuggle up and fade back into the welcoming arms of the Land of Snooze (my team mates were always making fun of me, saying that if I founded my own country that's what it would be called), something weighty fell off the end of the bed. Taking it to be an omen, I reluctantly dragged myself to my feet to retrieve it, struggling momentarily with my cosy nest of quilt and pillows and wondering if I'd have time to go get myself a nice kimono for the festival.

Bending, I found a neat package wrapped in brown paper bearing an untidy scrawl on the front. 'Here are your clothes,' it read. 'I didn't want to wake you so I left them on the bed. When you're hungry come to the desk and I'll fix you a meal.'.

A smile, small but genuine, played across my lips as I opened the package and caught a whiff of lavender. _Ah... bliss_

Lavender was among my favourite smells in the world, along with pine trees in the rain, the sterile antiseptic of hospitals (what can I say? It had a relaxing tang to it.) and of course freshly baked bread. I remember my Grandma used to grow lavender in her garden, and every Saturday morning at breakfast she'd put a fresh sprig of it in a vase on the table before Gramps and me came down stairs – I spent _a lot _of time at my grandparents house back when they were alive.

Pushing the bittersweet memories aside, I removed the familiar green and lilac top, black trousers and Ninja shoes from the package, inspecting them carefully; ninja habits die hard, I guess. I found – to my delight – that not only had my clothes been washed, they'd been dried and pressed too. In fact if I hadn't known any better I might have thought they were brand new, immaculate as they were. She'd even managed to remove an old blood stain on the hem of my left sleeve that I'd retained from a particularly nasty mission last month. I made a mental note to thank the old woman later. And ask how she was able to wash them so brilliantly too – info like that would be a valuable asset.

Pulling the top on – noting as I did so, the silken feel of it against my bare skin – I quickly decided I wasn't gonna bother going to Ms Miagi for food; I'd eat at the festival instead. It was only about an hour away from starting anyway and I didn't want to ruin my appetite for the multitudes of festive food which would no doubt be on offer.

Actually that was only part of the reason I didn't want to eat right away. I was sure Ms Miagi would have no objections but I didn't want her to go out of her way and make a meal for me when I was sure she'd be busy getting ready for the festival herself.

I finished dressing and peered out the window at the people milling about the streets below. By my reckoning it was about 6pm – already the sun was dipping below the horizon, painting the landscape a lovely warm red colour that reminded me of the glow in the big ovens at my mom's bakery. The people were all wearing traditional dress – kimonos of every imaginable colour and design – finishing last minute preparations for what was clearly an important day for them. For the first time I found myself wondering what the festival was celebrating exactly, and as the excited chatter drifted up through the window, I couldn't help feeling keyed up too.

With nothing else to do I hurried downstairs to join the hustle and bustle of the town, stepping into the warm evening air with a contented sigh. I wandered down the street aimlessly, keeping my eyes open for a clothes shop where I could buy a kimono but not all that bothered whether I found one or not. From the corner of my eye I spotted a group of kids playing with a skipping rope fashioned from an old washing line and paused to watch with a nostalgic smile, laughing when a boy managed to get himself tied up just like a certain friend of mine had once upon a time. I remembered all too well the days when _I _used to play games like that.

/\

The festival started promptly at 7pm and boy, was it a lively event! Music and dancing, competitions and games and some boisterous (albeit terrible for the most part!) singing. The lanterns were all lit, sending brightly coloured shadows dancing across the walls and turning the street into a rainbow dreamland. Delicious smells from loads of different foods hung thick in the air, mixing together in the party atmosphere and becoming the exclamation of all the joy the people radiated.

In the end I _was_ able to find a kimono to wear for the festival – a pretty royal blue one with pale pink cherry blossom petals at the bottom, arranged in such a way that they looked like exploding fireworks. The sleeves were lined with the same delicate pink colour and the obi was a shade lighter with blue beads that made a pleasant 'click, click' when I walked. It was beautiful and I couldn't wait to show my mom; she _loved _clothes, almost as much as she loved to bake. My other clothes were stowed in a drawstring bad I'd slung over my shoulder, slightly ruining the overall effect but hey! Beggars can't be choosers.

The parade started half an hour in and I have to say, never in my life have I seen anything quite like it. It was the perfect mix of small town amateurishness and endearing effort, very unlike the strictly organized, must-be-perfect parades my village held. A nice change, I felt.

Pigging out on sweet dumplings by the luminosity of a green paper lantern, I watched the procession with fascination. There were lithe dancers in elegant red, blue and purple robes, people juggling kunai knives (a decidedly dangerous sport, I thought), a long silver and gold dragon which weaved through the streets with impressive grace, and loads of children dressed up as various animals, the costumes of which were obviously home-made. I noticed Kizuno, the annoying, squeaky kid from yesterday, dressed as a tiger and waved good-naturedly as she passed, feeling that it was too good an occasion to play the awkward tourist.

Too soon for my liking the parade had passed, and not five minutes later Kizuno bounced over still dressed in her tiger costume, asking in long-winded sentences which ran into each other if I'd like to watch the fireworks with her later. I agreed – after all, it got terribly lonely to watch them solo – and she followed me while I hunted for a drinks stall; the dumplings had left me feeling quite dry.

Despite her near constant stream of meaningless babble, I actually had a really fun time with the kid. I'd always wanted a little brother or sister but mom was totally devoted to my dad and had refused to remarry after his death. Unfortunately that meant no siblings for me but with Kizuno – as irritating as she was – it was almost as if my wish had come true. We had a go at water yo-yo fishing and ate sukiyaki; we even bought matching paper fans, just like a real big sister and little sister would.

An hour later, as I sipped on my third bottle of lemonade, Kizuno was still chattering away to me; something about how she'd been studying ninja in class this week (jeez, the girl was _obsessed_ with ninja!). I wasn't really paying attention; I was more interested in examining the other kids' costumes and enjoying the fun while I could – tomorrow I'd be all business again and I'd leave for my village at first light. I wanted to steal this moment of normalcy, of _civilian _life, while the stealing was good.

I giggled to myself as an old man with a crinkly face and a fragile looking frame tried to throw a ball and barely managed to get it 3ft from himself. I smiled indulgently as we passed a young couple holding hands, the woman patting a bloated stomach full of life as her husband grinned proudly. Inside I ached with longing; each happy face we passed, each ordinary life that brushed past my not-so-ordinary one, reminded me that these things would probably never be for me. I mean I wasn't one of those girls who dreams of growing up and getting married and having kids (ew, to be quite frank. Just _ew_.) but at least civilians had the security of knowing those things _could_ be theirs, if they wanted. With Shinobi it was different... We were lucky if we had the security of knowing we'd live to see another day let alone reach a point in our lives where we wanted a family and such.

So wrapped up in my own world was I that when Kizuno became quiet all of a sudden, it was a while before I noticed. In fact the only reason I noticed at all was because I happened to look down out of habit, checking – as I did every so often – that she was still there and unharmed (okay, so maybe I'm a bit protective. I may be emotionally crippled but I still have basic maternal instincts, y'know.).

I'd expected to see her beaming up at me, still talking away about ninja no doubt, but was met only with an unobstructed view of the dusty road, littered as it was with empty packets and drinks containers. Coming to an abrupt halt I spun in a tight, confused circle, looking for the girl who'd been with me – as far as I could tell – just seconds ago, yet _now_ seemed to have been swallowed up by the ground itself.

It didn't take me long to spot her; she was standing several metres back the way we'd come, staring longingly at one of the stalls with what struck me as almost zombie-like attentiveness. Being naturally – and in some cases, _dangerously_ – curious in nature, I ambled over and tried to follow her gaze. It proved to be more difficult than you'd imagine; not counting my crap abilities, there was _a lot_ of stuff in the direction she was looking. Four or five stalls, a large gathering of people – mostly little old ladies – and more of those delicate lanterns and origami decorations, among other things. She could have been looking at _anything_.

"What-cha lookin' at Kizuno?" I asked cheerfully, shaking her thin shoulder lightly.

She tore her gaze away from whatever it was and looked at me, not saying a word which was very unlike her. Her eyes locked onto mine and that was when I had my first inkling of trouble. Her eyes were empty, devoid of the lively sparkle they'd held just moments before. I'd seen this kind of thing before... I _knew _I had. But here's the funny part – I couldn't remember _where _I'd seen it or what it was.

Taking my hand, Kizuno led me through the crowd of elderly women and my suspicions faded a little – maybe she'd just seen something and I was overreacting? It was a fair enough explanation... But part of me screamed that that wasn't what was going on here.

We stopped at a small games stall, one where the aim was to knock down a pyramid of cans to win the prize. In the back of the stall, under the red canopy, there were three pyramids of cans, each about two meters apart on a long, worn table that looked like it had seen better days. Behind and around the table there were stuffed toys pinned to the walls – toy ninja unless I was much mistaken. _Now _there's _a surprise, _I thought dryly.

The toys were ridiculously poor made and if I'm being quite honest, a little insulting. Wearing what looked suspiciously like black jumpsuits – ones that weirdly extended to cover the dolls faces – and each holding a little grey _mockery _of what could only be shuriken, they were the most pathetic excuse for ninja I'd ever seen in my life. Seriously, someone could be dressed in a clown-suit and still be more ninja-like than these rag-dolls.

A grubby looking man with beady little eyes and a sly face that just screamed '_sleaze ball'_ approached and asked if we wanted a go. Kizuno's eyes remained blank (where had I seen that look before?!), but she squeezed my hand and pointed to one of the toys like she'd suddenly lost all means of verbal communication. I'd been about to tell the greasy stall minder _exactly_ what I thought about his cheap, rip-off merchandise and that no, I would not like a go when Kizuno's odd behaviour pulled at my 'danger' sense again, disarming me with worry.

Now, a _sensible _ninja would've taken the girl home, packed all her stuff and left immediately – this wasn't my village, ergo nothing that went down here was any of my business. But I'm infamous for being a decidedly _un-sensible _ninja. So with a hesitant frown I turned to the man and nodded, handing him some money and accepting the three soft balls without really looking at him, my eyes still peeking at Kizuno anxiously. _Well, _I told myself, _It'll be a nice way to repay her for helping me find a place to stay... I suppose..._ Even so I still couldn't shake my off my apprehension.

I mentioned before that I'm still only a chuunin... Well as it turns out there's a very good reason for that. Two reasons, in fact. One was my ninjutsu. Apart from my trap, barrier and escape Jutsu, I was really only very good with water-based techniques and very basic ones at that. As you can imagine, that causes problems when enemies know how to either counter it or use an element I was weak against. I just didn't have anything as a back up plan. That wouldn't be _too_ difficult to deal with under normal circumstances - a skilled Ninja can use _any_ Jutsu effectively. The problem was I wasn't a skilled ninja. Reason number two was more of a hindrance. I had a ridiculously bad aim. No joke. Worst. Aim. Ever!

Since we were so close to the target and I _was _a ninja despite appearances, I was sure I'd be able to hit it no problem. But just in case, I decided to use a technique I'd developed for dealing with close-range targets without messing up and, you know, dying or something. It was useless for anything over 100 meters because after that my chakra control wasn't as acute as when it was close to my body, and I hadn't perfected it by _any_ means, but it should be okay for this. Taking the first ball in my hand and pretending to weigh it like I had some inkling of how to throw it like a normal person, I made a hand sign behind my back – sure, it was cheating, but what the slimy stall man didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Water flowed into the ball swiftly and silently and hey presto! Since I could use chakra to control water (to an extent) I could now control the ball. Almost carelessly, I tossed it at the first stack of cans and with my complete control it sailed clean through it, knocking all the cans to the floor with a deafening clatter. I grinned triumphantly – though there'd have been more cause for triumph if I'd done it without the little trick – accepting my prize from the stall owner who seemed less than pleased by my win. Glancing at the toy Ninja, I was still unimpressed. It had a head much larger than it's body which was offensive enough, but on top of that it looked fat and not really up to much ninja-ing at all!

_It's a toy, stupid, _I reminded myself sternly. _What toy do you know that goes out on ninja missions?_ Shaking my head I turned and held it out to Kizuno... who, much to my surprise, wasn't there.

"Kizuno? Hey, Kizuno!" I called, getting anxious again. I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach – intuition, I think it's called – that told me something was seriously wrong here. The origami decorations fluttered in a sudden chilly breeze and a shudder ran down my spine like sharp fingernails. Something definitely wasn't right here...

I turned on my heel and ran through the crowded town, shouting for Kizuno like a mad woman and becoming more and more panicked by the second. People stared at me with worried expressions but I didn't have time to think about that. With the increasing alarm came regret – I desperately wished I'd brought my ninja gear with me. Something told me this wasn't going to end well and it would be nice to have at least _one_ weapon.

/\

"KIZUNO!!" I screeched after a whole hour of fruitless searching, abandoning all attempts at subtlety. I was almost running at full speed, still clutching the joke of a ninja toy in my right fist. If looks could kill, I'd have died several times already – everyone's eyes were fixed on me, all filled with the same small town censure bred from a life lived in a respectable community. I could read their disapproval easily; they all thought I was mentally incompetent.

My breathing, which had become more and more laboured as panic turned into full on terror, was now like something from a horror film and in accordance, my face had turned beet red with humiliation. But I didn't care. Something was unspeakably wrong. Something bad was happening, even as I ran around like an mother of all idiots.

"KIZUNO!" I wailed, a sense of helplessness and bone-chilling fear settling in as the wheels of fate worked to pull the threads of it's abominable plans into place. "KIZUN-," my strangled cry was cut short when I spotted her at long last in the middle of the road, staring at me with those unnerving, empty eyes of hers as people bustled by obliviously. Almost instantly, something else caught my eye and the crowds melted away like butter in a frying pan, becoming so much background colour in my peripheral vision as the sounds thickened to a distant, muffled mumble.

I was frozen stock still, listening to my rasping breaths as relief and horror both took hold at the same time. Relief because Kizuno was safe and unharmed – though by the look of things that could change at any given minute. The horror was because she wasn't alone. With her were two tall men, both of whom I could tell were unmistakably dangerous with just a glance. I recognised the smaller of the two and suddenly my legs felt like they wouldn't support me any more.

One, the taller of the two, had features oddly reminiscent of a shark and was carrying a massive sword on his back that would have made any ninja weapons I picked up look like children's knick-knacks. His skin held a tint of blue to it and he had what appeared to be gills on his face, sitting beneath wide, staring eyes. His hair was a darker, more mysterious blue that reminded me of deep summer nights and ocean floors, and stood right on end as if he'd been electrocuted. There was only one word that echoed in my head as I tentatively felt out his chakra and started sizing him up (not that I thought I stood a chance, I was merely following ninja conduct): _monster_. Something told me this man could make mincemeat out of me without even breaking a sweat.

The other was a man I couldn't possibly mistake. Long black hair in a loose ponytail down his back; cold eyes that held an infinite capacity for cruelty; a Leaf ninja head band with a deep score through the emblem... there was no room for doubt. It was Itachi Uchiha. I registered nothing else about him as the name tore through my nervous system, setting my very fibre ablaze with utmost terror – I didn't _need _to study his chakra to know I was as good as dead if he wanted me to be.

Now I knew what was up with Kizuno. Now I knew what was so familiar about her zombie-like state. She was trapped in a genjutsu. _Itachi's_ genjutsu.

They both wore a black cloak adorned with red clouds which served only to intensify the horrible truth. Akatsuki were _here_, in _this_ town. Or two of them at least, which was more than enough to make sure I never left short of being in a body bag. Fear rooted me to the spot. I didn't know why they were here, in this backwater town of all places, but I didn't really care; I'd always tried to make a point of _not_ being where they _were_. Especially the Uchiha... I'd heard rumours of what he could do to a person without even lifting a finger. I didn't want to be the one to put the allegation to the test.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, the logical, Shinobi part of myself frowned. If they were _here_, it meant they hadn't been apprehended by the Leaf and Sand ninja yesterday. How was that even possible? Two of the biggest nations in the world had sent their best troops on this mission; surely not even Akatsuki could walk away from something like that looking as unscathed as these two did. It beggared belief!

Kizuno hadn't moved an inch yet, still stuck in the empty trance caused by what I imagined must be a pretty powerful genjutsu if it was able to keep _her _quiet. I doubted she was gonna be waking up any time soon which made things even _more _difficult – I couldn't very well leave her and it didn't look like she was in a fit state to run. As I tried to come up with a plan (though if I'm honest I didn't really harbour any hopes of coming up with one) the criminals took a unified step towards me, leaving Kizuno behind like a forgotten tool – which was all she was to them, I didn't doubt. That's when I made my decision.

Not quite knowing what I was doing – which I find is for the best in situations like these – I forced chakra into my feet and sprinted straight at them. And I mean _straight _at them.

It was a good thing I did because in doing so I had the element of surprise and that was the _only_ thing that saved me.

They hadn't expected a move so bold – neither had I, truthfully – so I was able to run right past them unobstructed while they took a second gathering their wits about them. Grabbing Kizuno as I went, I ran as if Satan (Itachi...) himself were at my heels. Pushing through the throng of relaxed festival goers and ignoring the angry yells and complaints left in my wake, I rounded a corner between two well decorated buildings to be met with a dead end. A grey wall at the far end of the alley reached high into the sky and seemingly blocked further progress; well, for civilians it did. But such obstacles meant nothing to a Shinobi and I dashed straight up it, determined that I was stopping for _no one_. Least of all the bloodthirsty murderers I'd just left in the dust.

Of course, even Shinobi have their limits and I realised – to my dismay – that I was nearing mine with alarming speed. I'd already spent a large portion of the night (and my chakra) running around searching for Kizuno; I didn't have enough energy left to keep running and carry her at the same time. If I could ditch her somewhere – somewhere _safe _obviously – I could probably escape using one of my techniques. But as I flitted over the rooftops, beautiful kimono fluttering around my bare legs like the wings of a huge, exotic butterfly, it looked like a safe place was going to be hard to come by. And I'd rather be hiding when the Akatsuki members caught up, not running and ready to collapse. So, spotting the relative cover of a rubbish strewn alley four or five blocks from where I started, I stopped and fell to the ground gasping.

Through my heavy, panicked pants and the fog of frantic, mostly unintelligible thoughts, I felt a deep concern for the young Kizuno roil in my stomach; she _still _wasn't back to normal yet and like I said earlier, the Uchiha's genjutsu could do things not even a primed ninja could recover from. God only knew what she was going through in the confines of her own mind, unable to escape or even scream for help... I checked her vital signs and let out a relieved sigh when I found that she was very much alive – that was something at least. Mentally damaged was better than dead, I guess.

Setting her beside me carefully, I propped her against the grimy wall behind us, making sure her airways were clear and she wouldn't choke on her tongue before I turned to focus on more immediate and demanding problems. Like what I was going to do now. If they were after _me_ – and I supposed they _could_ be; I was the one who'd disabled their traps after all – the chances were I was dead if they caught me. In fact, even if it wasn't me they were here for, they knew I was a ninja so they'd probably kill me anyway – _they _didn't know I was nowhere near powerful enough to constitute a threat. So I had only one option really: _don't_ let them catch me. If that wasn't possible – and although I was trying to stay positive, it was hard to believe I stood even the shadow of a chance – I should at _least_ avoid getting caught by Itachi; I wasn't a fan of the slow and painful method. I'd rather be chopped up by the blue man's beast of a sword than mind raped.

Taking note of my surroundings for possible routes of escape, I met the steely yellow gaze of a huge ginger cat by the lid of an upended trash can. I wasn't particularly fond of cats – they struck me as evil and ominous. We didn't have many around Waterfall Village (something to do with all the water, I don't doubt) and whenever I _had _spotted one, bad things had ensued, whether it was an accident involving my loved ones or simply one of those days where everything I did went wrong somehow. The sight of this monster of a feline didn't inspire me with confidence and I felt my heart sink as the usual sense of impending doom settled in my gut.

I let out a deep, coughing bark to scare it off and – predictably – it slinked out of the alley and around the corner with an angry yowl. Kizuno and I were alone again in the dark little alley, not much else of interest around unless you found half-rotted rubbish interesting. Sighing tiredly and wondering how on earth something that was meant to have been fun could turn so nightmare-worthy in little over an hour, I turned back to Kizuno with thoughts of trying to wake her somehow.

But wouldn't you figure it?

She was gone! Again!

"Kizuno?!" I cried in an exasperated whisper, hoping against hope that she was near and had simply woken and wandered off by herself. I was in no state to go looking for her again – my chakra was practically _gone_ – and with members of Akatsuki out there I didn't want to have to. I was lucky the first time but if they found me again I'd have _no chance _of getting away. "Ki-zu-no!" I separated her name into syllables, as if it would make any difference.

This time someone _did_ answer me... but it definitely wasn't Kizuno.

"Relax! The girl's fine, un." the someone chuckled, sounding amused and – oddly – a bit excited. The voice was masculine, fairly young and immature sounding and somewhat familiar but, much like the symptoms of genjutsu I'd failed to recognise in Kizuno, I couldn't remember _why_ it was so familiar. "I'm impressed y'know. I _really_ thought they'd have had you by now, un. Guess our little Waterfall chuunin has a few tricks up her dainty sleeves," His voice was laced with a mocking, condescending laughter that tickled a memory in the back of my skull... But why? Where had I heard-

...oh. The events of last night rolled through my head in double time and I groaned. I _knew _that voice. And I knewwho it belonged to. I mean _really _knew. I wasn't dead on my feet from sleep deprivation today and almost as if to add insult to injury, a super sharp image of the man's profile – _criminal profile –_ flashed through my head like a photograph.

"_Deidara._" I spat, disgusted with myself for not realising it sooner. "Give the child back! _Now_!"

"Or else what, un?" came the cocky reply. He leapt from a nearby roof and landed in front of me so fast that I actually jumped back in shock. He held Kizuno under his left arm like a sack of potatoes and this spiked my anger more than anything else; so disregarding of the fact that he held a child's life in his evil hands.

"Or else I'll rip your arms off and beat you around the head with them!" I snarled. My threat, although impressive-sounding, was empty; I didn't have the strength left to so much as touch him. And he knew it.

"I'm shaking. But enough small talk, un! Down to buisness." he smirked, that laughing undertone in his voice displayed in full on his sly face. "You're coming with us. No questions asked, un."

My scowl intensified but inside I was confused; why the _hell_ would they want me alive? What could I possibly offer them that they couldn't get from a better source? Regardless of their reasons, I almost instantly decided I wasn't going. If they wanted me they would have to physically drag me and I wasn't going to make _that_ easy for them either. I would've gotten up and run away there and then, but I couldn't. I _had_ to get Kizuno back first – call me crazy but leaving her just wasn't an option. It was probably my fault she was there in the first place.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not if you don't give Kizuno back right this _second_," I shook my head slowly to emphasise my point, face icy, mirroring my emotions.

"I will, un. _If_ you come quietly." he promised, a boyish grin lighting his handsome features. "Don't give me that look!" he exclaimed when I shot an acidic glare his way. "That's a fairer deal than most would get from me, un. I _could _just take you, you know."

"I've _told_ you; let the kid go first. Then - and _only_ then - we'll talk." I growled, adamant that Kizuno's safety came before anything else. Stricken by inspiration I added, "Put her down and let me put a barrier around her. _Then_ I'll listen to you."

It was a gamble; I _knew_ that. A barrier of sufficient magnitude to protect her from the likes of Deidara would certainly use the last of my chakra, and then my escape techniques would be limited to good old fashioned running. But from what I could tell of his personality combined with what I knew about him from his profile, it was obvious he was overconfident. He was certainly too strong in all aspects for me to take on but if he thought he was guaranteed victory, he _might_ let his guard down. Weak reasoning and not the best odds to pit myself against but my choices were limited at this point.

"You don't trust me to let her go, un?" he asked, pretending to sound hurt.

"I make it my policy not to trust S-class criminals," I replied harshly.

He shrugged nonchalantly as if to say '_yeah, whatever'_ and dropped her unceremoniously to the ground. Kizuno landed with a heavy thud and I hissed angrily at his cold treatment of the girl, rushing forward to check her over but continually flicking my eyes back to the untrustworthy criminal – Deidara was a man not to be taken lightly and I wouldn't put it past him to attack me while my back was turned.

Physically, Kizuno was fine – perfectly healthy from head to toe. But I felt a passing worry that her eyes were still glazed and empty, meaning she was still in the clutches of the Uchiha's genjutsu. I could only hope she would suffer no lasting damage and that he'd release it when I either escaped or was taken into their custody, which ever way it happened to swing.

Letting out a breath to steady myself and centre my chakra, I set about constructing the strongest, most complex barrier I knew of. I didn't know if Deidara would be able to break it – I didn't think so since he wasn't exactly a defence-based Shinobi – but even if he did, I knew he wouldn't kill her straight away. She was his bargaining chip and we both knew I was more likely to surrender if he had a hostage. Then again, that was always assuming he felt the need to even use a hostage – I think we both knew he didn't really need one to capture me.

"Didn't hear you complaining about me being a criminal last night, un." he muttered, watching interestedly as I performed the appropriate hand signs. My face flushed at how completely _dodgy_ that sounded.

"I didn't know who you _were_ last night!" I retorted hotly. He didn't answer with words but his smirk told me exactly what he thought of _that_.

Finishing the barrier, I got to my feet and inconspicuously stretched my tired muscles, preparing to run for it like I'd never ran in my entire life even though I knew nothing short of a miracle would get me out of this. I'd stand a much better chance if I could knock him out or something but it was best not to tempt fate – besides, I doubted I _could _knock him out. Sweat borne of fear trickled down my face in rivulet as I contemplated the possible negative outcomes of this 'getaway'. None of them were pleasant, I can assure you.

"Well now. Where were we?" I asked scathingly, wandering as far from him as I dared, trying to look like I was doing nothing more interesting that admiring the dirty wall on my left. If he knew what I was planning, he made no move to stop it and that suited me just fine.

I coughed, clearing my throat as nervous terror threatened to override my will to escape. Before I could change my mind I rushed off as fast as I could, up the nearest wall and over the rooftops – a task I noted would have been much easier if I'd been wearing clothes more suited to the rigours of ninja life. Beggars can't be choosers and they certainly weren't survivors.

After a while – a very _short _while – I heard him following but didn't dare look back; I argued that at least if he was following me, he'd left Kizuno alone. A small victory for me then! An irrelevant one but it would do.

The full moon, framed in inky darkness by thousands of glittering pinpricks of light, was the only source of illumination up here. Well, apart from some gorgeous fireworks every now and then. I felt a pang of disappointment despite the fact that I was in mortal peril – I _loved_ fireworks. The way they lit the sky with their colours and patterns, the majesty of their presence like a God's greeting to His (or Her) people... another form of art...

I briefly considered stopping; maybe they'd let me watch before I was dragged of to heaven knows where. Or maybe they'd just beat me to within an inch of my life and drag away me anyway. Behind me I heard Deidara gaining and the thought was instantly replaced with pure survival drive. I didn't fancy finding out which one he'd choose; I had a feeling I didn't need to guess.

With my complete lack of chakra, the chase wouldn't have lasted very long anyway. But bumping into _three_ other Akatsuki members was just plain nasty. If there was a God I was sure he _hated_ me. I must have been one evil son(er... daughter) of a bitch in my past life.

I was _barely_ keeping out of Deidara's range – and I mean he was practically _on_ me – when jumped a gap between two buildings and made the terrible mistake of looking down. Below me, running up the side of the building I'd taken off from, was someone in a weird orange, swirly mask. I'd never seen him before but his cloak, billowing behind him like the wings of a dark bat, left me in no doubt; he was another Akatsuki.

Cursing as he stretched a gloved hand up and managed to catch hold of my ankle, I kicked viciously until he eventually let go. And that's where my luck ran out.

The shark man who'd been with Itachi Uchiha came at me from the left with a speed I wouldn't have believed possible for his size, clipping my shoulder with his huge sword sword. Even the _tiny _contact it'd had was enough to more or less tear my arm open, my flesh seeming to disintegrate beneath it's touch even though – from what I'd seen – it had been bandaged up. The sensation was _agonizing_ – an odd burning feeling with a waspish bite to it – but I was still able to run so I didn't pause even though my vision was starting to blur; a result of rapid blood loss from the wound, I think. When I _dared_ to look at my torn up arm, I had to fight to stay on my feet – it wasn't pretty.

Still going but gradually slowing, I dove on to the next rooftop determinedly, blood trailing behind me like some sort of gruesome ribbon.

I should've been watching where I was going, so it didn't come as much of a surprise when I ran headlong into the final member. I'd known he was hanging around _somewhere; _he didn't strike me as the type to leave a task to others. Looking up in terror, all the fight draining from me like a switch had been flipped, I _just_ had time to glimpse Itachi's cold, dark eyes before something connected harshly with the back of my head and everything went dark.

My final thought before I slumped to the concrete and into unconsciousness was, _I can't believe this is happening to me..._

**And XxFearTheFluffxX said let chapter 4 be re-written. And so it was that chapter 4 was rewritten. :D**


	5. Meeting the Family

I'd never really been one to drink sake. Unlike my best friend – a lovable idiot among idiots, in my opinion – sneaking the foul smelling liquor and getting so drunk I couldn't figure out how to climb the stairs to my apartment just wasn't my idea of a fun night. Personally, I thought it was a vile-tasting concoction – the worst excuse for a beverage ever invented – but that's just me.

Of course I don't say this without the proper experience. I'm fairly familiar with the stuff; it's smell, it's taste and obviously, the effects of consuming it in high levels. Once, when I was a whipper-snapper of roughly twelve, I drunk four whole bottles of the intoxicating liquid to myself and reluctantly paid the heavy price that accompanied it. Why I drunk so much is a long, complicated and pointless story that I'd rather not recall too clearly, but I _will_ say this: four bottles of sake, no matter _who _you are, is a _very _bad idea.

I'd woken the next day (I'd say morning but that would be an outrageous lie) feeling like I'd been hurtled through several brick walls head first. Noises were magnified a hundred fold, making even a whisper sound like someone was beating on a drum right next to my ear, and don't even get me _started_ on food. The mere _thought _of eating at the time was enough to make my stomach roll like a sea in the middle of a storm.

So when I awoke after having a crazy dream that I'd been kidnapped by Akatsuki, feeling dazed and nauseous and nursing a migraine that could've made the strongest of men cry like babies, not to mention lying on what felt like broken-up concrete, I was _sure_ it had to be a hangover. I didn't remember drinking any sake at the festival but the symptoms were so close, I was convinced I'd somehow mistaken sake for lemonade.

But ninja don't make mistakes like that and as my common-sense started to catch up with my sluggish brain, I quickly grew dubious of my theory. Something didn't add up. Where the heck was I? What had happened to me last night? Why wasn't I back at the inn?

Suddenly, in the same unexpected way a hiccup takes hold, my body shivered involuntarily, and I became acutely aware of the fact that I was _freezing –_ I mean borderline hypothermia, subzero. It was like the Land of Snow in (or was I out?) here! In the shock following the sensation of extreme chill, I shot up into a sitting position which, I soon discovered, was a massive mistake on my part.

The very second I moved, a network of throbs and stings erupted throughout my system like nothing I'd ever felt before – and I'm not exaggerating that either. I could feel the blood pulsing it's way through every vein, artery and capillary in my aching body and it was, in a word, _agony_. It felt like the blood vessels had closed and were just starting to stretch open again. Naturally my head was worst off, the original head-ache becoming a dull pounding in the back of my skull to make way for a new, more intense pain which worked in tandem with everything else for maximum suffering. For a fraction of an instant I thought I'd died and gone to hell – surely such torture was only possible in the fires of hades?

Of their own accord my hands jerked, trying to reach up and exert soothing pressure on my temples – a sure-to-be-vain effort – and a sharp, excruciating stab rushed up my right arm from the wrist.

I couldn't take it anymore. My body was ablaze with torment and my pain threshold had been well and truly crossed. Drawing in as much air as I could, I screamed bloody murder, a long drawn out yowl of misery and misdirected anger that shook the space around me with it's sheer volume. I'll admit it wasn't a very ninja-like thing to do but I couldn't help it; my mind was too preoccupied to think of anything but how much I wanted to pass out again, much less upholding Shinobi protocol. And in any case, the rest of me wouldn't be able to execute any plan I came up with.

Calming down was an effort I felt I deserved a medal for, but after several violent, cussing outbursts I managed it, suppressing my distressed cries by biting my tongue and even clearing my head enough to make space for some small, rational thought. I immediately put the tiny concentration I managed to glean to work, examining my surroundings and taking stock of the situation.

I was in a cave, I realised at once. A fairly ordinary cave as caves go, with plenty of rock, rubble and darkness. The high ceiling was dotted with mean-looking stalactites, all oozing a shimmering liquid I prayed was just rain water, and the floor was damp and covered in the dust and debris of a good few years. I couldn't see the exit from where I was sitting – a place I judged to be middle of the cave or thereabouts – which was unfortunate as I had no intention of hanging around.

My gaze wandered the entire length and breadth of the dingy air-pocket, searching for possible exits and items that might prove to be of use to me. I clenched my teeth at irregular intervals, fighting down screams and nausea as particularly nasty waves of pain thundered through me. _Some nicely sized rocks and boulders in the corners_, I noted with approval, chewing my bottom lip in suppressed discomfort. _Those might come in handy if I have to carve a way out. _

Despite my relatively calm approach to the situation, I was exceptionally confused about how I got there in the first place. What had happened in the hours I'd been out cold? What had happened _before _I ended up out cold, for that matter? The last thing I remembered was winning a cheap ninja doll for Kizuno at the festival but after that it was kinda hazy...

The cough behind me was totally unexpected and I didn't have a chance to hold back the yelp of surprise that escaped my lips as I spun, every inch of me screaming in protest, to see the cause of the disturbance. I tried to endure the pain with dignity and scrunched my eyes shut in determination. Unfortunately, physical suffering waits for no man and I couldn't stop the words that forced themselves past my voice box.

"Dammit that hurts!" I grunted through gritted teeth, hands fisted by my sides as if in doing so I could make the awful aching go away. A number of chuckles broke the semi-silence in response and I was rudely awakened to the fact that not only was I _not_ alone, but I was also out numbered – possibly on a very large scale.

Turning more slowly this time, so as not to strain my body too much, I came face to face (well, sort of; I couldn't actually see their faces that well) with nine shadowy figures; nine shadowy figures wearing black cloaks adorned with red – I assumed it was red even though I couldn't see well enough to be sure – clouds. Like a torrent unleashed, my memories flooded back and accordingly, beads of sweat started to form on my face at a phenomenal rate. _Oh snap... _

"So it should, un," one of the figures said conversationally. "You took quite a beating!"

It was Deidara, obviously, and I glared at him hatefully – or at least at the shadow-shrouded figure I _thought _was him – letting the all encompassing disgust I felt show on my face. So it was true. I'd been taken against my will by the most feared criminal gang in all the Shinobi villages.

I was actually stunned to still be alive – I'd fully anticipated to die the moment they caught up to me back on the roofs, yet here I was. Battered and bruised but still breathing. Sadly, that was more disconcerting than comforting; it meant I had something they wanted and it wasn't something they could obtain from a corpse.

Petrified, I licked my lips, which were suddenly extremely dry, and cleared my throat – after all, I didn't want to sound weak and afraid. That was a satisfaction I would _never_, if it was the last thing I did on this earth, ever let them have. If I was dying I was dying with honour, not as some pathetic, dishevelled sissy who couldn't even look her murderers in the eye.

"Well _this _is a surprise. If I'd known I was expecting company I'd have freshened up. What can I do for you fine gentlemen today?" I asked, voice dripping with 'sweet and innocent' sarcasm, as strong and clear as I could've hoped. To add credibility to my seemingly calm and composed front, I stood and brushed myself down, grimacing during the whole process and internally cursing myself for causing my body unnecessary discomfort.

You may think I had a death wish; maybe I _did. _All I knew for sure was that I was gonna make this as difficult and inconvenient as I could for them. Besides, at least if I was dead, whatever they wanted I could no longer give them. I'm an essentially stubborn creature by nature and I was hyper aware that co-operating with Akatsuki could – _would –_ get a lot of people killed. I didn't want to be the cause of something that dreadful. So I decided I wouldn't be. Even under torture, I wasn't giving them _anything_! I was sure I was gonna die either way so why not go out a hero?

My snide comment had the desired effect... mostly. Some of the members looked at me as if I were crazy (well, better crazy than weak); others seemed impressed. One even _laughed_ at me (no prizes for guessing _who_). But the reaction which drew my attention, the one that stood out more than any of the rest, was that of the leader. I'd never seen the Akatsuki leader before; few _had _who were still with us today. Nothing about his physical appearance made him stand out in particular – he wasn't bigger or more muscular than the other members. But there was something about the cold stare he gave me that left no doubt.

If I hadn't been afraid before, I certainly was now. Since I _was_ afraid before, I'd now reached new extremes of terror that made the small, treacherous voice in the back of my head whisper to think twice about being actively defiant. When he finally addressed me, after a sufficiently long pause that make my composure start to shake loose, it took everything I had not to flinch.

"You dare patronise us, Mizuko Shinoske?" he challenged icily, every word laced with acid and the promise of the terrible things he could inflict on me. "Don't presume that just because we want you alive, we'll refrain from harming you. There are any number of tortures we could impose and still get what we want in the end."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't waver slightly; I dare _anyone_ to look him in the eye as he said that and not be scared witless. But regardless, I solidified my resolve and did the single stupidest thing I would _ever _do in my entire life. I opened my big, idiotic mouth and gave him _cheek_! To this day I cannot _believe_ I did it. Even more amazing is the fact that I gave _him_ – the Leader of Akatsuki, one of the most fearsome men in existence – back-sass and _lived. _I actually _survived_ the ordeal, which I'm sure is more than most can say.

"Yeah, I'll just bet. 'Cause that's all you guys are good for, isn't it? Making others suffer for your own sick entertainment. And d'you know why? It's because you're all low down, no good-,"

Luckily I didn't get a chance to get the last part of my sentence out (what I had to say next wouldn't have gone down well, I can assure you) because I was too busy wondering why the ceiling of the cave and – more importantly – a particularly evil-looking stalactite were mere inches from my face. Before I could figure out what had happened (although if the throbbing in my lower back was anything to go by, I'd say he kicked me into the air), the leader appeared above me and I got my first proper look at his un-shrouded face. Spiky, orange hair which put me in mind, appropriately, of a demon; steely grey eyes with several odd-looking rings on the irises; and countless piercings, adding an element of menace to his appearance.

I only glimpsed him for a second, hovering there with his face impassive as stone, left leg high above his head. Then he brought his foot crashing down on my stomach and I couldn't see anything past the brightly coloured spots that swam before my eyes. A blow like that would hurt under normal circumstances, if it had been delivered by a _normal_ Ninja. But this man was _not _a normal Ninja and there were no words for the pain I felt.

Several of my ribs shattered instantly, crushed into splinters by the sheer magnitude of the attack. When I hit the ground – at a speed I couldn't even hazard a guess at – I became embedded in it, broken rocks flying up around me as I created my own perfect niche, and receiving a myriad of cuts and bruises in the process. I wasn't _positive_ but I reckoned I'd ruptured a vital organ too, judging by the blood being forced out of my lungs, along with my remaining supply of air. And despite all this – all the damage caused by just _two _moves – one good thing came of the whole affair: I wasn't afraid anymore. My body had no room left for fear when it was over busy housing raw hatred.

The dust settled and - though I was on the verge of slipping into a coma - I dizzily heaved myself to my feet once more using the last of my energy, coughing up more blood onto the stone and my pretty new kimono. Pain lanced across my chest where most of my ribs had snapped, and sucking in air was alarmingly difficult. If there'd been a mirror I was sure I'd see beads of crimson seeping from the cuts all over my arms and face, making me look like I'd had a run in with a blender.

There were some murmurs of admiration (_reluctant_ admiration, but admiration nonetheless) when I wiped the blood from my chin and fixed the leader with a steady glare. I knew I was asking for trouble – that I was sending myself to an early grave – but for some reason I couldn't stop myself.

"Th-that... was... u...u-uncalled for," I wheezed, holding my now _definitely_ broken right arm close to my side. I'd suspected it was broken before but now there could be no doubt.

"You were warned." the leader replied, unconcerned. "Don't make the same mistake twice."

"U-under... stood, _sir_." I hissed, radiating defiance. He ignored the jibe and went on to introduce himself, acting as if nothing had happened.

"I'm Akatsuki's leader, Pein, and if you do not learn proper manners I'll be causing you a lot of it. You won't always be so necessary and when the day comes that we no longer need you, you and I will have a similar little '_chat_'." By the tone of his voice I knew this meeting would prove more fatal for me. "Until the time comes that you are required you will remain with Deidara. He's now your guardian and you are advised to what he says at _all times_,"

"What?!" both Deidara and I yelled at the same time. Of all the members to pick he chooses _him_! Why? _Why _that idiot?! Hadn't I suffered enough? Hadn't I paid my dues to karma already? I hadn't killed nearly enough people to deserve _this_.

"My decision is final. There will be no further argument. You're all dismissed." Pein said evenly. With that he and all but two members left the area, splitting up now that the 'meeting' (or, more accurately put, public thrashing) was over. It goes without saying that one of the remaining figures was Deidara and he looked as if Christmas had not only been cancelled, but erased from existence. However, he said nothing as he approached me with barely concealed contempt, making it clear how much he resented this task in his every movement. _Heh. The feeling's mutual, pal!_ I thought bitterly.

The shark-man from the festival passed on my right hand side and I heard him mutter something to Itachi, who looked much the same as he had when I saw him earlier – uninterested and uninvolved. "The kid's got guts." blue boy whispered. "Talking to Pein like that? That takes a mighty strong stomach." he chortled. I shuddered and pondered what could've possibly possessed me to bait their leader like that. It wasn't guts that's for sure. Stupidity sounded closer to the mark.

When the room at last cleared, I turned slowly to face my _guardian_ and his partner – the one with the swirly mask – who waved excitedly and bounced over like a kangaroo. "I'm Tobi!" he exclaimed, sounding absolutely delighted. His childlike manner shocked and surprised me, and wondered if he was retarded or if it was just a weird joke. "We're gonna be great friends! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Shut up Tobi, un!" Deidara growled, smacking the cheery boy in the back of the head. _Hmmm... no loving partnership between those two I see. _

As Tobi complained in a voice I could feel myself growing unreasonably attached to (I couldn't help it! He was abnormally cute for a dangerous criminal!), I examined Deidara with undisguised distaste. I remembered how much I'd wanted to hug him the first time we met, how I'd blushed with irrational embarrassment and shyness at his deceptively handsome face, and that made my dislike of him all the stronger; he'd blinded me with that pretty-boy act and I wasn't forgiving him for it in a hurry. Funny how a kidnapping could change your opinion of someone...

A sharp searing in my arm reminded me of its tender status in a not-so-tender way and I drew a pained breath as it caught me off guard. It was broken now, no doubt about that; but if memory served it hadn't been in the best of conditions when I'd first woken up either. I was sure I hadn't done anything to it _before_ I was caught, which meant it'd happened while I was KO'd. I mean sure, the shark man got me a good 'un with his huge sword before I conked out, but that only explained the twinging I'd felt, not the heavy throbbing. Strange - it wasn't as if I'd been going anywhere while I was asleep. So why'd they mess up my arm?

"Yo!" I yelled, stopping the bickering pair in their tracks. "As far as I'm aware, comatose people can't run away or cause any trouble. Was there really any need to mangle my arm?"

"Don't be stupid! No one did anything to your arm, un," Deidara snapped. He paused for half a second, realising that that wasn't even half true. "Except Pein when he gave your ass a beating just now, un." he corrected himself, giving me a look of utmost disbelief, the kind reserved for the criminally insane. "Speaking of which, are you crazy?"

"No. Just bad at playing the whole obedient prisoner thing. And my arm was sore _before_ Pein took it upon himself to tear me to pieces; I want to know why." I tried to sound threatening despite my pathetic state but I knew I failed – pitifully. Deidara didn't _have_ to answer – he was the one calling the shots after all, no matter how much I hated the fact – but I had a feeling he would anyway.

"So melodramatic, un. You're still in one piece!" he grumbled, proving me right. I bit my tongue to stop myself making another potentially fatal verbal offence. True, I was still in one piece but all that kept it that way was willpower! "Anyway," he continued, more laid-back and almost apologetic-sounding. "When I was transporting you on my clay bird, you kind of... fell, un. Sorry. Should've been paying more attention, I guess, un."

"I see," I said absently. I should have been angry. I had every right to be; they'd kidnapped me and then failed to take proper care of me while I was out and unable to defend myself. But I was too busy trying to stay on my feet as wave after wave of dizziness and nausea crashed over me.

"Hey, are you okay Miss?" Tobi asked, obviously noticing my precarious footing and green face.

"You guys... don't... happen to... have a medic... do you?" I moaned, before keeling over for the second time in as many nights. I suppose it was some small consolation that I was unconscious again before I hit the concrete.

**Chapter 5 has now joined the ranks of the rewritten. **


	6. Birthday Wish Granted

The weeks passed slowly in Deidara's care.

After 'meeting the family' as I liked to think of it, I was moved to a tiny village somewhere on the east coast and admitted to the pathetic excuse for a hospital there. Deidara made sure, using that ridiculously arrogant charm of his, that I had a private room, so any hope I'd harboured of begging someone for help was immediately squashed. The doctors and nurses had been told I was mentally unstable – a condition my '_big brothers' _had helped me cope with for years, apparently – and that I was also delirious with pain, which hadn't been too far from the truth when we first arrived actually. I'd tried to get their attention; draw them to the fact that I was actually a hostage, being held there against my will. But Deidara was smarter than I gave him credit for and none of the hospital staff believed me.

I did have a window – a possible escape route – with a _wonderful_ view of the harbour and beach, but when Deidara expressed concerns about me jumping out it in my 'insanity' (given the chance I most certainly _would_) and wounding myself further, the staff agreed to keep it locked at all times. Of course I still might have been able to use it... if my body hadn't been so damaged that is.

My right arm was worst off; not only had it been broken, a collaborative result of Pein's cold anger and Deidara's carelessness, it was still recovering from the reconstructive surgery I'd had to have thanks to shark-man's lucky shot back on the roof. My other arm and both my legs weren't in a fit state for escape yet either, still covered in violent reddish-blue bruises that seemed to be refusing to heal, and some faint scars from the deeper cuts. I think though, that the most annoying wound was my fractured ribs, which still crackled with pain if I moved too much.

I glanced forlornly at the calendar pinned on the wall next to my heart monitor – which, by the way, would go crazy if I tried to remove it. It goes without saying that I'd tried... several times.

My stomach knotted miserably as took note of the date. May 3rd – my birthday and exactly three and a half weeks since my capture. Gazing longingly out the locked window, I wondered how my mother was handling the day; did she think I was a traitor? That I'd run off? Did she believe I was dead? It was hard to say. Guilt washed through me at the thought of the expression she might be wearing this very second – would it be the same as the one she wore when my Gramps – her father – had died?

The thing was, it had been so long since I'd seen her that I couldn't even remember what her face really looked like. That sounds dreadful, I know, but it's true. I don't mean I'd forgotten entirely; I mean c'mon. She was my mom and had been for eighteen... I mean nineteen years. I wasn't particularly close to her or anything but I wouldn't forget her _that_ easily. I could recall the main things, the features that were most prominent, but it was the finer details – the ones that _defined _her face and made her _her_ – that I was having trouble with. And try as I might, the haze wouldn't clear.

Outside it was a dull, overcast day, with a definite promise of rain – my favourite kind of weather. It was weather that didn't _demand _anything. It wasn't like sun, when you were expected to go out and soak up the rays, or snow when you were supposed to throw soggy projectiles at your friends and laugh about it. On days like this you could do pretty much anything and it wouldn't be questioned – I liked the freedom of that.

In the distance I could see the sea, it's waters an entirely unappealing grey that most people would think ominous or at the very least, unpleasant. But actually, the rolling waves brought me some comfort in my gurney-turned-prison. Not much but some, and some was better than none. My common sense told me I had to accept my lot in life, however short a time that might be; I was doomed to spend my remaining days prisoner and that was that.

Unfortunately, my natural instinct didn't agree. It told me to rebel with everything I had, even if it was a futile effort. Even if it was the dumbest thing I was ever likely to do.

_"When that time comes, you and I shall have a similar little 'chat'"_

Pein's promise echoed through my soul like a terrible crack of thunder and I shuddered - I _knew _he meant it. There was no doubt in my mind that he was a man who always delivered what he promised; he and I _would_ meet again, and this time I wouldn't be walking away in one piece. I would die by his hands and there was no corner of the world I could hide that he wouldn't follow me to. Worse still, I'd given him cheek in front of his whole entourage; I was willing to bet that didn't put me high on his Mercy List.

It's a strange thing, to contemplate your own inevitable death. Most people have the leisure to _wonder_ about their demise - how they'll die, when they'll die, why they'll die - but not me. I was acutely aware of my impending doom and if nothing else I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

At that moment a plump nurse walked in with a lunch tray, interrupting my internalization with a cheerful smile that I recognised all too easily – it was the kind of smile reserved for someone who wasn't really on the same wavelength as the general populace. And I _hated_ it. I hated the way all the so-called 'professionals' treated me like I was retarded. I hated that they didn't believe a single word I said, even when I was talking clearly and concisely. And I especially hated that it was Deidara's goddamn fault.

The nurse fussed around me like a mother goose, putting my lunch on the table and wheeling it over so I could reach it from my bed, talking away about what a dreary day it was as if I were some sick two-year-old. Geez. Talk about condescending.

I turned my nose up at the food, suddenly furious with the world and everyone in it. Why did _I_ have to be the one in this mess? Was I _that_ bad a person I had to be punished this way? Just how many people did I kill in my past life to end up in this state?

The nurse, of course, spouted a load of clinical rubbish about 'needing to keep my strength up' and that I had to 'grit my teeth and bear it'. I could've handled that – she was only doing her job after all. But then she said something about doing it for my poor, worried brothers and I saw red. That did it. I tossed the tray across the room with all the strength I could muster – which was still impressive because injured or not, I _am _a ninja – and told her amidst a string of profanities that I wasn't hungry and she could stuff her meal where the sun didn't shine. She scurried from the room panic-stricken, faster than any shinobi I'd ever seen in my some seven years of service.

_Hmph. Serves her right. _I thought spitefully. _She's dooming me to a life of servitude and an early death and she has the cheek to tell me to 'grit my teeth and bear it'?! This isn't some bloody vaccination!_

It wasn't her fault; not really. I was here because I'd tarried on the way back to the village after a dangerous mission, a mistake no competent ninja would have made. My own mistakes were what had brought me here and I was being, in a word, a bitch, taking it out on everyone else. I made a mental note to apologise to the woman later, when I'd calmed down. That was always assuming she dared come near me again of course.

Hours slipped by in the same monotonous daze the rest of my weeks as a captive had. It wasn't much fun being held hostage. I'd read loads of adventure stories about kidnaps and daring rescues and the like, so I'd always imagined it would be... more entertaining. I suppose I should've known better; being kidnapped wasn't _supposed_ to be fun.

At 7pm I pointedly closed my eyes and angled my body away from the door, doing my utmost to display the theme 'unwelcome' with my every breath. Right on cue my '_guardian'_ and his pet walked in, all smiles and fake gratitude for the accompanying nurse, who, I noticed by the sound of her voice, was not the nurse who'd brought my lunch earlier.

"Mizuko? Mizuko, sweetie, your brothers are here to see you. Are you awake, dear?" she asked gently, almost hesitantly. Clearly the lunch-nurse had shared her trauma with the others. I didn't answer, keeping as still and as silent as I deemed was natural for a sleeping person.

"That's okay, Ma'am, un. If she's asleep, let her be. We don't mind just sitting with her." an infuriatingly familiar voice assured mildly.

His calm voice and self-assured attitude made me bristle with rage.

"If you're sure, dear. Remember what I said though. She's been particularly difficult today. We didn't expect her to eat - she hasn't willingly eaten for weeks - but this is the first time she's been so violent about it." the nurse reminded him, and even from where I was sitting I could hear the admiration in her tone.

That was another thing that bugged me – they all _loved _him! Whether they were old and just liked him because of his seeming dedication to me, his volatile 'sister', or whether they were young and thought he was gorgeous – much like I had done when we first met – all the nurses adored the sly bastard.

The nurse left and I could sense my 'brothers' positioning themselves on either side of my bed. Tobi was on the window side and instantly grabbed for my hand, like a child by the bed of his sick mother. I still didn't react despite the fact I knew they both knew I was awake. Childish though it was, I loved making Deidara be the first to break the silence. It was a small victory but it made my kidnapping that much easier to bear.

"Hmm. Feeling aggressive today, Mizuko? That'll get you nowhere you know, un." Deidara drawled with a hint of amusement. _Damn him and his holier-than-thou arrogance_.

"Nope, but it makes me feel so much better. I just wish it'd been _you_ I threw the tray at." I retorted, sitting up and returning Tobi's over-enthusiastic hug with a slight wince. The glee radiating from the swirly masked boy made me smile; it was the only thing I enjoyed about the regular visits. He made me feel... _needed_. Like I was worth more than the dirt Deidara so obviously thought I was.

"Still sore about the whole kidnapping thing, un? You shouldn't sulk you know. It's _immature_."

With a scathing look I tossed an apple from the fruit bowl on my bedside cabinet at the blonde haired idiot, which he caught and bit into as calmly as if he'd picked it up himself.

"Yes, I'm still sore you maniac! In several places I'll have you know, thanks to you and your psycho gang. If I could use either of my arms I'd club you to death with my crutches!" I snarled, raising my non-broken arm gingerly for effect.

"Tch, always with the threats, un. When are you gonna realise? Akatsuki _owns_ you now. No ifs, ands or buts about it, end of story." He tossed the remainder of the apple in the rubbish bin near the ward door and leaned back on his folded arms, the picture of serenity. "Besides, it's your own fault you're so badly beaten up, un."

The look on my face must've been a picture. I was shocked, dumbfounded, flabbergasted and a number of other things besides. He had some nerve, I'll give him that.

"M-my fault?!" I cried, incredulously. "Just _how_, pray tell, is being held against my will and beaten senseless in the duration, _my_ fault?!"

"Well you _did_ run away when we came to collect you; and in every consecutive attempt we made after that, un. That accounts for the mangled arm Kisame gave you and the nasty bump on the head I left when I knocked you out-," he listed, counting them off on his fingers as he went. I'm sure he had more but he didn't get the chance to tell me; I exploded, shutting him up instantly. He stared me down with that smugly calm façade as I conveyed my outrage, which just made me even angrier.

"So it _was_ you who did that! I knew it! You dirty, no good, cheating son of a bi-," I ranted, wishing my arms were working so I could punch him right in the face.

Sensing we were going in a dangerous direction, Deidara continued, cutting my outburst off before I even had time to get warmed up... more's the pity. If he thought this was over he was sorely mistaken.

"Then you fell off my clay bird... and I'll admit I was partly to blame for that, un. I have a bit of a reckless streak when it comes to flying. But it was your fault too, for thrashing about so much in your sleep. Lastly, when you woke up in the middle of our meeting and provoked Pein like that - Pein of all people! - the pounding you got was light compared with what you _would_ have suffered if you'd been one of _us_, un. So don't gripe at me about your injuries 'cause as far as I'm concerned they're all self-inflicted."

I was quiet for a while after that. For the most part he was right; the majority of the injuries _were_ my own fault, in a weird, perverse way. I didn't agree about falling off the clay bird though. That was _all_ his fault and I wouldn't be told otherwise. Stupid jerk... yeah, I've got his reckless streak right here!

Throwing a sideways glare in his direction, I noted with surprise that he was watching me. Not just watching in fact... more like _studying_. With what I can only describe as burning curiosity, a look I'd never seen aimed at me before. Without intending to – because when does anyone _ever_ intend to? – I blushed crimson, edging away from him as if he might have the plague.

He noticed of course – had I expected anything else, I wondered – and, never one to make things easy, Deidara grinned wickedly and moved to follow me, getting all up in my personal space like it was his God-given right to be there. When I was as far away from him as the bed would allow, I pulled the quilt up as a makeshift barrier (which was nowhere near as comforting as a _real _barrier would've been, I can tell you) against the advancing criminal. Under the flimsy cover it provided I screwed my eyes shut, waiting for... I don't know what.

A few moments trickled by and nothing happened. It took a while but I eventually felt brave enough to peer at him and lowered the quilt, cracking my eye open infinitesimally, wary of the sight that might greet it. And there he was, sitting with a huge smirk on his face, eating another apple with cheeky nonchalance. He'd reached over me to the fruit bowl!

"What the _hell_ did you do that for?! You scared me to death, you big pervert!" I screeched as he started to laugh openly at my expense.

Unable to contain his laughter he gasped, holding his side to keep it from splitting in his sadistic mirth. "You should've seen your face, un! Priceless!"

"Shut up! You were staring at me! Of course I moved away!" I yelled indignantly. He was too crippled with laughter to answer me for a few moments but I didn't care. I hoped he _died_ laughing!

"Are - ahm - are you sure you didn't enjoy the attention, un?" he asked slyly, clearing his throat mid-sentence.

"No, you lecher! I did _not_ enjoy the attention!" I hissed, scowling at him with what I hoped was frighteningly intense hatred but knew was most likely just humiliation. "What were you staring at me for anyway, creep?" I growled, desperately trying to lessen the burning in my cheeks. To no avail, I might add

"Hmm? Oh, that's right. I've been meaning to ask you something, un. The day Pein knocked the stuffing out of you... were you acting brave or are you just stupid? Only I've _never_ seen anyone stand up to Pein like that, un. Even people who don't know who he _is_ don't dare get in his way." Deidara frowned, truly intrigued by my behaviour. _So _that's _what it was._

"I wasn't _acting,_ as you put it." I murmured, rolling my eyes. "And I'm not stupid either. I was well aware of the danger I was in. I just... I dunno. I didn't care about any of that. I thought I was a goner there and then; that there was nothing for it but to dive in head first and meet my fate head on. That kind of situation makes you... a little crazy, I guess."

I sighed, remembering _again_ Pein's words. It almost would have been better if he _had_ just finished me at the time. But perhaps he knew that and that's why he left me alive - the idea that he was letting me live because I could give him something no one else could was preposterous! And if that was the case – that he just wanted to maximise my suffering – then Pein was a very cruel man. Though I was sure that was true regardless of the motives behind my preservation.

"I see... You're terrified of him, un." Deidara nodded, understanding in his expression.

"I didn't say that." I said coldly. He was right but I'd rather he thought I was crazy, brave or both than think I was a coward.

"I can see it in your face. Don't worry. Any sane person would be exactly the same, un." He shrugged and turned his attention to the door as the bell signalling the end of visiting time rang. "C'mon, Tobi; time to get going. Don't worry Mizuko, un. I spoke with the Doctor and he says another two weeks and you'll be free to go."

"_Great_. I'm not sure whether I should be happy or horrified. Out of the hospital and into the mortuary!" I cheered with sarcastic exuberance.

"You worry too much!" Deidara chuckled, as if I were grumbling over something as trivial as going back to the Academy. "I'll do it if you want. I'll make it quick and painless. You won't even feel it, un."

The idea wasn't half bad... He was joking – I knew that – but how much pressure would it take to get him to promise for real? Surely it was worth a try?

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this but okay. You have to _promise_ it won't hurt and that you won't, under any circumstances, let anyone else do it. Especially not Pein or Itachi." I said solemnly, face perfectly straight to convey my absolute seriousness. I had to keep from giggling as his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I was kidding, un!" Deidara frowned.

"I wasn't. Do you promise or not? It's the least you can do since it's _your_ fault I'm here in the first place. Be a man and finish the job you started!" _Come on, Dei... Take the bait..._

After a moment's hesitation he nodded. "I promise, un." _Yes! _" After all, what difference does it make who does it?" he reasoned with himself.

"I'll hold you to that. I mean it Deidara. Break your promise and I'll take you with me. We'll see how many holes they can punch in you before they manage to kill me." I threatened.

"Yeah, yeah. I swear, I'll be the one to kill you, un. Happy?"

I was. I wouldn't tell _him_ that, but I really was. It was like a weight had been removed from my chest; breathing was suddenly a lot easier.

"No, but I'm as close to it as I'm gonna get. See you later, unfortunately. Bye, Tobi" I added for the masked boy's benefit as he got up to leave somewhat dejectedly. He'd hardly said a word all day but even so I was sad to see him go. He, unlike Mr Cool over there, was a comforting presence to have around. I considered begging them to stay awhile longer – just so I didn't have to return to the tedium of being alone – but quickly decided I wasn't about to lower myself to _that_.

"Bye Mizuko!" Tobi exclaimed and glomphed me, obviously forgetting the tender status of my person.

I watched them retreat and miserably settled back down to go to sleep – God knew there was nothing else to do in this place.

Just as my eyes were about to shut they both popped their heads round the door again and – on Deidara's part at least - smirked.

"And Happy Birthday, Mizuko." they said in unison. With that they left and I was alone again; only this time I was grinning instead of on the verge of tears. Even the fact that they happened to _know_ it was my birthday was a mild horror in the afterglow of their birthday greeting.

I fell asleep that night happier than I'd been in a long time. My sleep was untroubled; I didn't wake up in the wee hours of the morning screaming and I didn't rip the various machines connected to me out in frustration. I slept right through till morning, my slumber pleasantly empty of even the darkest monsters that had plagued my dreams since being taken.

Though he couldn't know it, Deidara had given me the single greatest gift I could have asked for, next to my freedom. He'd given me an escape route from the grisly death I'd have suffered at Pein's hands. And with it he'd given me peace of mind and the ability to accept my new place in the world.

**Chapter 6 = redone. :P**


	7. Beach Brawl

"Ahhhh! Sunshine, fresh air and freedom!" I sighed gleefully as I stepped out of the hospital for the first time in the better part of two months. I stretched my arms out behind me and smiled as the warm golden rays caressed my face. However, my joy was short-lived. A small cough behind me reminded me of the fact that I was still number one on the world's most endangered species list and my freedom only went as far as 10ft from my escort. With a disdainful frown I leaned my head back enough to glimpse the two cloaked men, one jumping up and down excitedly, the other standing with his arms crossed, smirking. Oh how he infuriated me with that cocky grin! I would give anything to smack him one and not be sent back to hospital for it.

"Hmph. Still here are you? I was sure the hospital security would have detained you when we passed through the Paediatric Ward," I lazily shot at the object of my annoyance. He raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't move. _Just keep smiling, pal! I'll wipe that smirk right off your face one of these days._

"Oh, really? And why would you think that, un?" Turning around to face him properly I graced him with my most innocent smile, despite my inner rebelliousness. I had a feeling he knew what I was thinking but I was going to say it anyway. I was determined to make his life as uncomfortable as possible.

"Sure. On account of you being a paedophile and all." I frowned suddenly as a thought occured and continued, not letting him think of a retort to my insult. "Actually, I really _am_ surprised no one's tried to arrest you yet. It's not as if you try to hide the fact that you're Akatsuki..."

"This village takes little to do with Ninja of any sort so they don't really know what Akatsuki is, un." Deidara answered, striding past me towards the harbour. I followed suit, allowing Tobi to slip into step beside me and cling to my arm as we went. "And I am _not_ a paedophile, un."

"Hmm... I guess that makes sense." I nodded thoughtfully. "And, oh yes you are! Don't lie to me, Bomberman. I heard all about those stunts Akatsuki pulled with Gaara of the Sand Village and Naruto Uzumaki. The whole lot of you are a bunch of ruddy child molesters!"

"Heeeeyyy!" Tobi complained, hurt resonating in his voice. "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is not a paedophile." I assured Tobi I didn't mean him and he was instantly placated, falling into his bouncy step beside me once more. Meanwhile Deidara glared at me from the long wooden pier he'd stepped on to, trying, no doubt, to strike me down with his mind.

"There was nothing even remotely paedophilic about that, un. We went after them because they each have one of the tailed beasts, simple as. Whether they're kids or not makes no difference, un."

"_Uh-huh_, because that doesn't sound dodgy in the slightest." I scoffed, sarcasm naturally working its way into my voice. He didn't answer but I could feel the murderous intent in the air.

Joining him quickly, I felt the sea-whethered pine creaking in anguish under my feet. With a deep breath, I found myself relishing the salty smell of the sea, the heavy scent of freshly caught and gutted fish and even the slightly putrid hint of gull droppings - it smelt like _life_. Now that mine had been considerably shortened I had time to appreciate the finer details of the world and I couldn't get enough, using all the senses available to me to explore the scene down to the last grain of sand. The sound of cussing sailors and fishermen; the sight of the sun glittering on the water's surface; the taste of the sea air on my tongue; the feel of the wind pulling at my hair; it was magnificent. And I'd trade anything to be able to become a part of it; to just fade into the scene and become one with the land.

"I swear, if the Leader didn't need you alive I'd kill you this very second, un!" Deidara growled. "In fact, if _he_ heard you say that he'd kill you himself, needed or not."

I grinned at him, putting my hands on my hips for effect. "Have you forgotten already, Dei? He _can't_ kill me, 'cause you promised you wouldn't let him! If you or anyone else wants me dead _you_ have to do it. Understand?"

"Maybe as a punishment I should retract my oath, un?" he mumbled, searching the pier for something. "Would serve you right."

"What?!" I gasped in mock horror. I held my left hand to my heart and draped the other across my brow. "Shame on thee, dishonourable wretch! To so voluptuously breach a legally binding pledge to a damsel in distress! Tis a sign of poor breeding, thou mark my words!"

Both Tobi and Deidara stared at me with incomprehensive expressions. Time froze, neither one of us willing to speak first, no one knowing quite what to say. Suddenly Tobi bounded up to me and slapped a hand across my forehead. I swatted it away on instict and gave him a puzzled look which I assume he returned behind his swirly orange mask.

"Are you alright? Tobi thinks you might not be well. Maybe Mizuko should go back to hospital?" he asked tentatively. The way Deidara eyed me with unwilling concern told me he thought as much too. Eyebrows knit in the middle of his head he peered at the hospital behind me as if deciding whether or not to drag me back.

"What?!" I cried defiantly. "I have an abnormal love of classical theatre! Don't judge me just because you have no respect for art!" Now this statement could quite possibly have been the most stupid thing I've ever said (excluding my dance with death when I first met Pein). I loved art and all its shapes and forms. I didn't know, however that Deidara had a rather _special_ opinion of art and was a dedicated artist. Thus I was not prepared for his speech.

"Hah! You call that drivel _art_? Art is not a bunch of idiots prancing across a stage muttering some long winded rubbish, un. Art is that fleeting moment of beauty before something disappears from this world forever. Art is the destruction of something so wonderful, it is damnable to look upon it twice, un. But most importantly, Art is a bang!" Deidara declared. Now it was my turn to stare. Who knew this rogue ass was such an art enthusiast? Finally a side of Deidara I could potentially _like_!

"I see... you have an interesting view on art, one that I can understand and agree with to some level. However, I think true art is life itself. Everything about life; it's birth, it's life, it's death and it's memory, are all art in my opinion. Art is everything because everything is beautiful in it's own way."

Deidara shook his head exasperatedly. "Yet another fool who can't understand art for what it really is, un." What _did he just say?! Too far buddy boy!_ I let lose a stream of colourful curses before confronting him head on.

"Excuse me?! I'm no fool! What gives _you_ the right to dictate what art is and is not, you overconfident, son of a god damn she-devil?! People are entitled to have opinions you know! Or is that another privelidge I'm to be robbed of?! AARRRGH! YOU MAKE ME SO DAMN MAD, YOU ARROGANT BAS-,"

"Hoi! Ms! Quiet down, will ya? Yer scarin' away all the fish!" a nearby fisher cut me off mid-sentence. I let out a feral snarl and stamped my foot but did as he asked.

"Where is it we're going from here?" I snapped, voice dripping in poison. Deidara had turned as white as a sheet in the face of my wrath; he wasn't afraid - I wasn't dumb enough to think I had that much of an effect on him - but he definately didn't know I was capable of _that_. He pointed vaguely in the direction of one of the larger ships, clearly intended for long overseas voyages, and with a final withering dose of the evil eyes I marched over to it.

As I passed I heard the fisher who'd scolded me turn to his companion and whisper. " Poor lad... She's a fiesty un! 'N' what a set o' lungs she's got!" He chuckled and his partner did likewise.

"Aye, Takemaru. A mighty set o' pipes sure enough! I'm fair impressed wi' a' her swearin'. She'd make a fine sailor's wife, tha's certain!" the man agreed. I blushed slightly, almost sorry for my lack of self-control. _Almost_. Seriously! Who the hell did that Deidara think he was?! No way I was letting him away with that, no matter who was around.

I slowed as I approached the ship we were going to cross the water on and scrutinized it carefully. It was a powerful piece of work, capable no doubt of out sailing any other ship in the harbour. The wood was a sturdy oak, perhaps mahogany - it was difficult to say for sure because of the sanding effect the waves had had on it - with a light coating of varnish. The sails, folded high in the rigging, were the pale beige of a non-threatening merchant ship and the ropes that were visible everywhere I looked, were encrusted with salt. The front of the beast extended many meters over the deck's end in a sort of point, like a javelin or spear. The painted black strip around the middle of the boat's exterior was the only feature that wasn't merely bare planks and upon the strip was the ship's name in a flowing calligraphy of white. _The S.S. Kariya._ What a fitting name. It meant nothing to me in particular but it was a suitable name for such a masterfully crafted leviathan.

Deidara sidled up on my left and I could feel his eyes boring into me with an intensity that set my skin aflame. With a sly sideways glance I registered curiosity and a hint of admiration in his electric blue eyes... Curiosity much the same as he'd displayed that time in the hospital. As if something about me fascinated him and he couldn't decide what it was. It was unnerving, him looking at me like that; set me on edge. Yet at the same time I loved it. I loved that I could command such attention from him and I loved that his eyes focused on me and me alone. As soon as I discovered this I mentally slapped myself._ Get a grip, Mizuko! He's irritating and you hate him! He's the one who sentenced you to death for goodness sake!_

Ignoring him I purposefully boarded the ship, heading straight for the stern to look over the edge at the steady rise and fall of the murky green waves. I saw my own reflection in the swaying water and beneath that I thought I could see a silver fish dart away through the seaweed. The avalanche that was my hair tumbled over my shoulder as I leaned in closer for a better look. I couldn't see the fish but my molten honey eyes stared blankly back at me. There was no sadness in them, but rather acceptance; acceptance of an inescapable future. There were several bruises on my face that hadn't quite faded yet - no longer the violent purple that they'd once been but a sickly yellowish-brown. There was a silvery scar on my left cheek where some shrapnel from Pein's attack had cut particularly deep and my nose had a peculiar set to it that suggested a breakage had occured - highly probable in sight of the power Pein'd hit me with. It was a shock to see myself like that. It made me wonder what kind of inhuman monsters I was really dealing with here...

"D'you aways admire yourself like that? And you called _me_ arrogant, un." an all too familiar voice drifted from behind me. He was trying to entice another violent outburst and maybe I would have given it to him... if I weren't so _empty_ all of a sudden. I don't know what brought it on, but for some reason I just didn't have it in me to fight anymore.

Face blank, voice devoid of emotion I replied with composed dignity. "I was inspecting the damage. It's nice to know why people are staring at you as if you're missing a head."

"I didn't really take you for the vain type, un."

"I'm not. I just wanted to see the state Pein left me in. I'm going below deck for a while... I'll find somewhere to sleep, maybe. Wake me if you need me." With that I turned tail and headed off to find a cabin, not looking back even once, though I knew he was staring after me with that same scorching look from before.

Finding a place to sleep was easy; I met the Captain and asked about it and he said I could take my pick of any of the guests cabins since we were the first passengers to arrive. I chose a small room near the back of the ship, with a single bed fixed in the corner and a small chest next to the door for my belongings, not that I had any of _those_ anymore. It was a cosy room, warm and dry with a porthole looking out over the lulling waves. Some royal blue curtains were drawn on either side of the porthole and I pulled them shut before falling on to the bed and snuggling up to the pillow, the emptiness clawing at my mind and wrapping itself around my heart.

Eventually I drifted into a sleep laced with terrible nightmares; I saw my death at Deidara's hands and myself, pleading on hands and knees for mercy. I was crying, sobbing until I was forced to calm down in order to breathe. When I was still he bent before me and handed me a small clay sculpture of a cat. It was vividly detailed, right down to the tiny whiskers. Confused I looked up at him and saw pain... no, _agony_ shining in his eyes. And indecision... a hesitation that was driving him slowly insane.

Eternities passed and we stared at each other, never moving, his agony and my confusion frozen in the crystals of time. Until at long last he twitched. Bringing his hand infront of his chest, pointing finger and middle finger held up straight in what I realised was a hand sign, his eyes pierced my soul with their overwhelming infusion of loss. _What is it he's lost?_ I wondered.

"K-katon." he breathed, gazing at me in shock, as if he couldn't believe what he was doing. The cat sculpture glowed blindingly and I focused on it briefly before... nothing... a deep darkness that stretched on for ever. Never changing, never touched by the passage of time. And _I_ was suspended in its very core, alone.

I woke up screaming, tears flowing freely down my cheeks, sweat plastering my hair to my face and soaking my clothes. I was trembling, fear and adrenaline pounding through my veins without pity. In that moment, if I knew nothing else, I knew this: I had to get off this boat and get as far away from all things Akatsuki as possible.

**Mizuko makes her first escape attempt in the next chapter. I'm not sure how I want it to go yet but when I know, you guys'll know. Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for all the reviews. All ideas and suggestions for improvement are welcome! ^_^**


	8. Escape Artist? I Think Not!

-1Okay, I know I said I'd accepted my new place in the world and that I was okay with dying as long as it wasn't painful, but I lied. Sure, at the time I'd _thought_ I was okay with it but remember I'm only human - of _course_ I was terrified of dying. I was _nineteen_! My life had barely begun and I didn't feel like leaving the world just yet. I know it was a bit selfish of me but as I fretted over the remnants of my nightmare, I hoped that maybe I'd get away and Akatsuki would give up on me... and they'd find a new victim to take my place... Was that really such a bad thing? If someone else were in my position would _they_ do any different? After all humans are essentially self-centred creatures; why should I suffer to save someone else from a terrible fate?

I sat curled up on the bed, the last vestiges of tears drying on my face. Arms wrapped around my knees - which were tucked up to my chest - I stared at the floor, lost in a sea of thoughts where each one was as heavy on my mind as the next. _What if someone else _did_ suffer in my place? Would it be my fault? How could I get away? Was I fast enough - strong enough - to pull it off?_ None of the questions flitting around my skull could be answered until I tried and then it might be too late for the answer to be of any use. Even as I pondered the elusive mysteries other, far more chilling questions made themselves known to me. _What if they killed me for trying to escape in the first place? Worse what if they didn't and punished me another way?_ I shuddered and pushed the disturbing thoughts from my head; it didn't do any good to think about it. I'd have to deal with that when and if it came. The only certainty was that I couldn't just stay here and wait patiently to die.

Gathering all the resolve I was capable off and surrounding myself with it like a barrier, I heaved myself up from the safety of my bed and began some basic stretches, to loosen all my muscles and strengthen the ones that were still weak. I can't say what good I thought would come of it - for in truth I knew there was no benefits in this gesture - but it brought a certain tranquillity that lying idle, swamped in grim and gruesome wonderings could never imitate. It became blatantly obvious very quickly that I was no where near as fit as I had been before this whole affair began - weeks upon weeks of bed rest with no exercise had done me no favours. I don't think skipping my meals had helped either. Just as I was drawing my little workout to a close the ship lurched ever so slightly and I toppled back on to the bed. Normally I would have been okay but it seemed that my balance had started to deteriorate as well. If there was _anything_ that was in my favour it was the fact that we were on water, my elemental speciality - unless that too had suffered during my long period spent out of commission. Any advantage, no matter how small would be most welcome.

I exhaled, the stale air rushing out of me in a great puff, and sucked in a fresh lungful to steady my nerves. "Right! Let's get this show a the road!" I whispered allowing fake bravado to ease some of the tension. I could act all I wanted, but the courage I feigned never quite reached my heart. Deciding that I'd procrastinated long enough I reached for the brass knob of the door that led out to the main corridor and set my hand on it. The searing cold of metal that hasn't been touched for hours seeped through my skin, seeming almost like a warning not to proceed. Swallowing hard past the lump in my throat and forcing down the bile that burned it's way up from my gut, I turned the icy ball and pulled the door slowly towards me. When the door swung fully open I let out a small squeak at what met my eyes behind it, the pretence of confidence slipping from me like so many drops of water. _Oh snap. Busted already..._

There stood Deidara, his hand outstretched to the door knob and a look of surprise on his face. If not for the dire circumstances of our unexpected meeting, I'd have laughed at his stupefaction. His electric blue eyes met mine for a split second and, averting his gaze as if I was indecent and he wished to spare me the humiliation, he slowly allowed his arm back to fall back his side where it hung limp and useless. I said nothing and neither did he, both avoiding the other's gaze as we wracked our brains for something that would make the situation less awkward. He coughed and scratched his head absently, still not looking at me. Almost as though in response, I started wringing my hands and took to studying a suddenly fascinating pattern in the knotted wood of the door.

"I - uh... I heard you screaming. You... um... okay, un?" he asked, looking more uncomfortable by the second. I could tell he wasn't used to this; acting concerned for anyone but himself. That's what it was, I knew. An act. He was really just checking to make sure I hadn't tried to run away and gotten stuck in the process. Who did this arrogant Akatsuki grunt think he was? Belittling my skills like that! The cheek of it made my blood boil in anger! I did my utmost to conceal the blistering fury coursing through every fibre in my being and to my delight I did a good job of it - unusual considering the run of bad luck I'd been having lately.

"N-no." It was the truth, without an ounce of doubt. I wasn't okay, for _numerous_ reasons, and it would've been difficult for me to say otherwise and make it convincing. I was flailing for something to follow up my statement when the idea hit me like lightning and I had to stop myself bursting into a grin. I'd found the perfect way to buy some time for my getaway. All it needed was a pinch of luck. _Oh Lady Luck, please smile on me one more time! _ I prayed silently

I sensed Deidara frown and knew he was waiting for me to continue. However I stood stock still, hardly daring to breathe and continued to stare at the floor, fearing that he'd see my intentions in my eyes which is something I couldn't afford at this point - with such a shaky plan I had to do everything to avoid basic screw-ups . Bending down slightly to take in my expression, Deidara placed a hand on my shoulder and shook me. It was an innocent act but the touch made my body go rigid and I could feel Deidara do the same, his hand stiffening in place, tightening around my upper arm until the lack of blood turned it pallid blue. It was like a fiery electric shock zapping through my body and making every cell scream in unison. It wasn't painful... it was actually quite... enjoyable. As penetrating as the cold brass door knob had been but more... charged, if that makes sense. Jerking his hand back as if he'd been electrocuted, he looked at me with confusion. Evidently he'd experienced it too. Through the haze that had begun to swirl in my brain I vaguely noted that I'd found another good argument for needing to get away.

Mouth dry I pointed at my room and chocked on the words that tried to force themselves out all at the same time. "T-there... I ... saw a... rat." With a slight nod he strode past, being extra careful not to touch any part of me while I stood rooted to the spot listening to my rasping breaths and pounding heart. Once he was in the room I grabbed the handle after some momentary shilly-shallying and slammed the door shut behind him, hastily forming the hand signs for the first barrier that came to mind. "Water Seal Jutsu!" I yelled. Neglecting to even check that the Jutsu had worked I dashed to the deck, shoving several grumbling sailors and guests out of my way in the process.

As I flew up the stairs my ragged gasps and agonizingly fast pulse became the beat to which I based my progress, my flight becoming a melody in itself. _What _was_ that? I... I don't understand... _Despite the danger I was in my mind remained firmly on the events that had taken place back at my bedroom. Feet drumming against the deck, I hurtled to the stern of the ship and - after almost breaking my neck slipping on a puddle of sea water - wasted no time in clambering on to the javelin-like point, edging as far as I dared to the tip. Behind me I could hear the outraged cries and panicked wails of innocent bystanders. I looked back and spotted Deidara - _Certainly didn't take him long to break my Jutsu!_ I thought dismally- and Tobi pushing their way to me through the crowd. That was all it took for me to dive head first into the thick green-blue below. I registered alarm as the wind rushed past me but by then it was too late to go back. The water rushed up to meet me and I braced for the impact that would surely come.

Buffeted by a crushing darkness and a frosty cold that nearly had me screaming - something I did _not_ want to do whilst underwater - I slapped my hands together in a hurried, some what clumsy hand sign and focused all my chakra. Within seconds I was safely encapsulated in an air bubble created by using chakra to control the sea flow and I gratefully accepted new oxygen into my system. Not for the first time I felt enormous gratitude for the simple little technique I'd developed long ago in my early training. Phase one of my plan was complete: get away without dying. That could change at any second, I knew, so with the last of my chakra I moved the bubble deeper and farther away from the ship.

It seemed to be going well; neither Deidara nor Tobi had dived in after me as far as I could tell and with each passing second the chances of my success looked better and better. After aimlessly walking (well, floating really) for an unknown amount of time, my thoughts started to wander. I thought about how nice it would be to go home and see my family again; about how to explain my disappearance to Lord Shibuki; about what I would do if Akatsuki came to the village to get me back; but most of all I thought about Deidara. If I concentrated, I could still feel the burning where his hand had rested on my shoulder. It made me tremble with horror that he should have such a profound effect on me - that he could occupy my thoughts for so long with nothing more than a simple tap on the arm. Thankfully the strange occurrence wasn't my only reason for obsessing over him. He'd be furious if he ever caught up to me - would probably beat me to within an inch of my life and then some - and that was a much more rational reason for thinking about the cheeky blonde git in my opinion. To my disgust, I found I was not completely adverse to going back...

I was hit by the strangest and craziest notion then: maybe I _should_ go back... _What?! Don't be insane Mizuko._ I scolded myself. However, the further away I got the more I wanted to return until I suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere, torn between going on and going back. My chakra reserves were depleting at an alarming rate so I didn't have time to think it through; I had to decide fast. Going back meant certain death, be it now or later. Going on meant... what? What would I lose by going on? The answer was there - I knew what going on would mean and it scared me that it bothered me as much as it did. I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself, so I locked the information away behind several layers of my mind where I could deny it more easily. I shook my head in defiance holding my hands to my ears as if that changed anything. _NO! That's not true! It's not!_ I screamed angrily in the confines of my head.

Just at that moment a little white fish swam by my bubble. It had huge eyes and odd flaring fins, kind of like a Koi fish. I'd never seen a white one before... I didn't know they existed. I watched it go with awe and fascination, vaguely wondering if I should catch it and take it home as a pet. My mother would love it! It stopped directly in front of me and I watched as it bobbed there, like some sort of strange fishing bait, blinking at me forlornly. Cute... freaky, but cute. _I've never seen anything like that before... Wait a minute. That looks like... Ahhhh! It is! It's the _-

BOOM!!!

Well, maybe 'BOOM!!!' doesn't do it justice... 'KERBLEWY!!!' perhaps. Hmmm... let's just say that what happened next wasn't pretty. I can't remember all the details, being that I was knocked out almost instantly, but what I can remember is very vivid.

First there was a dazzling white light, just like in my dream; I was completely blinded by it so even if I'd had time to think there'd have been nothing I could do. My Jutsu wasn't strong enough to endure the shockwave of the explosion so the surrounding water pulverized me as I released the Jutsu against my will. Almost simultaneously the sea water seamed to go from sub-zero to over boiling point in about three seconds, severely scalding every inch of me; it might be stating the obvious but it _really_ hurt. Fighting against the waves of lava-like water I swam upwards with panicked flailing motions, desperate for air but not daring to open my mouth to admit the steaming liquid into my lungs. As my head broke the surface I heard Deidara's voice, threatening, enraged and closer than I would have liked.

"Gotcha, un. Come here before you get yourself killed." Whether from the fear or the pain, I can't say but it was at this point that I lost my grip on consciousness. And to tell the truth, I'm glad I did; anything was preferable to the agony of my injuries and having to face Deidara's wrath. My last coherent thoughts were about Deidara's weird bombs.

_I knew he specialized in bombing, but I never imagined he could make them look like animals. Guess my dream was right about that..._

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"Hnnn... Ouch..." I groaned, feeling like I'd been roasted alive which I pretty much had. I tried to turn over, open my eyes, reach out and feel my surroundings but each movement felt like I was tearing my skin in several places at once. Not a pleasant sensation as you can imagine. "Ahh! F**K! Son of a god damned bitch!"

With a huge amount of effort on my part I cracked my eyes open a tiny fraction, wincing as the sensitive folds of skin rubbed against each other. I was amazed that I was still alive, so it wasn't much of more of a shock to discover I was back in my room on the _S.S. Kariya_. I was lying flat on my back staring up a the faded white ceiling, the royal blue covers folded at the foot of the bed. That wasn't what I was looking for though... I wanted to know where the hell Deidara had disappeared to. He was definitely close by; I could sense his - as well as Tobi's and another person's - chakra near me. The problem was where? Did he intend to jump out and ambush me as a punishment?

"She's awake, huh? Here, let me heal those eyes for you." A female voice. I didn't recognize her but she had the kind tenor of a trained medic. Seconds later I was able to open my eyes properly and take in the layout of the room at a more satisfactory level. The first thing I noticed was that I was more or less naked. The only clothing I had retained was my underwear and I flushed at my inappropriate appearance, not that anyone noticed as my skin was all ready crimson from the burns.

Deidara was sitting on a stool near the door, face in his hands, looking at me with unrestrained amusement. _Oh no... Just what I need! Another excuse for him to laugh at me!_ Tobi was hovering near my bed, waiting no doubt to dive on me and steal a hug - he would have done it already if not for the pretty young woman busy using healing Jutsu to repair the extensive damage my body had received. She had short blonde hair, a little lighter in colour than Deidara's, and a genuinely pleased smile spread across her face when she met my curious gaze._ She takes great pleasure in tending to others. A medic to the core. _Her eyes were a peculiar reddish-violet and she reminded me of a swan; her movements were so graceful it seemed she was as fluid as water. The forehead protector tied around her neck bore the Hidden Stone insignia which meant she came from the same village as that bugger behind her.

"W-who're..." I couldn't finish the sentence. It hurt too much to breathe let alone speak. Plus I felt vulnerable without my clothes; it felt wrong to talk whilst wearing so little.

"Who am I?" she finished for me, moving over various parts of my body, healing the worst areas before shifting her attention to the smaller injuries. "My name's Tsukai. As you can see I specialize in healing ninjutsu and I'll be you're saviour for today." She laughed and it was one of the most musical sounds I'd ever heard. A sound so beautiful it could lull birds out of hiding. An instant surge of like for her washed over me.

"Hmm. I see. You must be a friend of Deidara's; you both come from the same village." I mused, my battered lips, lungs and voice box back to normal after Tsukai's expert care. He didn't move even when I mentioned his name and I wondered at his lack of response. Then I heard it; the quiet but easily discernible sound of someone suppressing laughter. A glimpse at his face confirmed it and I vowed that he'd pay for this - he'd suffer for my humiliation.

A soft smile crossed her lips and she exchanged a fond look with Deidara, who was trying to smother the rolling laughter forcing it's way through his clenched teeth. "You could say that. Though it surprises me he _has_ any friends, the way he treats people! These are some nasty wounds." The way she said it wasn't so much to reprimand him as it was a jibe between _really_ close friends. Silly as it sounds I found myself feeling jealous - clearly there was _something_ between these two. It bothered me. It wasn't even just a slight irritation but a real full-blown grudge. _What!? Why do I _still_ feel this way? He just boiled me alive! Besides I _like _Tsukai!_

It took just over an hour to heal me to a suitably functioning level and I was _incredibly_ grateful that I didn't have to wait to recover naturally. Tsukai warned me I'd have to take it easy for a few days and then turned to leave, telling Deidara she'd be on the deck if anyone needed her. Before she left I thanked her, trying to convey my appreciativeness whilst wrestling with a distraught Tobi who'd immediately jumped on me when Tsukai said it was okay.

"OH, MIZUKO! Tobi thought you were dead! He thought you'd died and left him here alone with Deidara the Meanie!" Tobi cried, his voice conveying true horror at the thought of such an event. I patted his back, shocked that a kidnapper (cute or not that's still what he is, I reminded myself) could be so found of his hostage. I didn't bother telling him that one way or another I _would_ have to leave him with Deidara. Besides it was painful to think of such things at the moment - the fact that my escape attempt had failed was a bitter pill to swallow. The fact that it failed because I hesitated was even worse.

"Tobi, leave us alone for a sec', un." Deidara ordered, still radiating amusement. I recalled with a jolt my very meagre attire and snatched the covers from the bottom of my bed with a ferocious swipe, wrapping them around me like a cocoon. He chuckled amiably but I knew better than to take his seemingly harmless mood at face value and so was instantly on guard. What did he want that we had to be alone for? _Hmph! Probably wants to gloat about his victory. _Tobi complained but a slow, deliberate movement towards a bag at his hip had Tobi out of the room faster than a pig in a bacon factory. If the look on my face could have been put into words it may have looked something like this: ????????????????????????????????????????????eh?????????????????????????????????????????

"T-Tobi? Wha-?" I frowned, watching as the boy in the swirly orange mask bounced out of the room.

My eyes fell on the bag Deidara's hand had ever so subtly inched towards and speculated what was in it that could have made Tobi so afraid. More of those weird bombs perhaps? Deidara wasn't really paying me much attention; he was still watching the door as if he half expected Tobi to come waltzing back in. Therefore he didn't see it when I leaned over and tried to peer in the little bag. I stretched so far over that, had Deidara caught me, I'd have looked like a pervert.

"Works every time, un." Deidara smirked in satisfaction. I started, almost toppling off the bed and on to Deidara's knees, and sat properly, trying to look as innocent as possible. Staring at my hands folded neatly on my lap, I counted the creases in my bed sheets for a distraction while Deidara decided what he was going to do with - or to - me. His eyes were practically burning a hole through my back , but I'd rather have my tongue nailed to a donkey's ass than return his gaze.

"So..." I began, voice shaking. I did my best to sound nonchalant and enjoyed the same measure of success as my bid for freedom. Not surprisingly Deidara didn't buy it.

"Relax Houdini. I'm not gonna touch you, un." he sighed. I didn't relax but I chanced a look at his face and saw he was serious about having no intention of damaging me for the time being. He could easily change his mind if I wasn't careful. His eyes were peculiar; a strange mix of amusement, poorly concealed rage and something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Not surprisingly it was the rage I was worried about the most.

"We've been over this before, un. If you're gonna keep staring at me, take a picture, un."

My blush must've been particularly vivid this time because he started laughing uncontrollably at my expression, the fury sliding behind the screen of his mirth. I hadn't realised I'd been staring at him! "Shut up! I mean it Dei, shut your rip!" I shouted as he fought for breath. His laugh was _amazing_. It made me feel all warm and tingly inside - this, of course made me blush even more. "DEI! Put a sock in it!!!"

"Sorry, un. Couldn't help it. Your face was such a picture, un!" he choked. As his last breathless hysterics faded into nothingness, silence descended once more like a thick blanket, comfortable yet stifling. Deidara coughed and I looked questioningly at him. "Anyway... Are you gonna tell me why you tried to escape or do I have to guess, un?"

_Here we go._ "Isn't it obvious?" I muttered, a sour edge to my voice that I couldn't conceal giving him a less than discrete clue.

"Geez, you sure can hold a grudge, un. Are you seriously still upset about the whole kidnapping thing?" he asked. He made it sound like he'd borrowed a book and lost it or something!

"It's not the captivity I resent, you b*****d pin head! It's the stuff that goes with it!" I retorted acidly. "And for your information, yeah, I am still pissed off about it!"

"You know, your cursing can almost rival Hidan's." he remarked, admiration embedded in his voice. _Clearly an impressive feat then._

"Who the hell is Hidan?" I quizzed, merely because I could think of nothing else to say.

"You'll meet him some day, un. Then you'll see what I mean." His holier-than-thou air made me sure I was missing out on a joke of some sort. "Back to the point, what is it exactly you don't like? It's not as if we're man-handling you, un." I gaped at him disbelievingly. _Yeah, not yet you're not! Give it time and I'm sure you'll get there!_

"Let's see, where should I start. I'll never see my family or friends again; in helping Akatsuki, even if it's against my own free will, I'll be killing hundreds of people; sooner or later people will find out I'm still alive and they'll all call me a traitor; and let's not forget, my own life is forfeit. Now you tell me whether that's a rational reason to be 'upset' or not!"

He shrugged and in that moment I've never wanted to beat someone to a bloody pulp as much as I wanted to beat Deidara. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Mizuko. I don't _really_ care about your reasons for being miserable, un. I've got my orders and they are to keep you alive and functional until your purpose has been served. That means I'm not about to let you escape, un. I've already promised that I'll make your death painless, un. Try to be satisfied with that."

"I see. So that's why you didn't just finish me off. Akatsuki still want something from me." I snorted, thoroughly disgusted. What he'd said had hurt a little. I wouldn't show it but it did. And it really annoyed me; why should I give a toss if he cared about me or not?

"Were you hoping I would?" he sneered.

"So what if I was?" I countered. Again he shrugged, making a face as he did that said 'I'd answer but it seems pointless'. It probably was, too. No matter what he said I wouldn't listen - _that_ I could be satisfied with.

The seconds trickled by and I tried to decide what to say next. Or indeed, whether I should say anything at all. _Why can't my conversations with Deidara ever be easy?_ "Hey." Deidara's voice shocked me out of my stupor. I raised an eyebrow and nodded for him to continue, though I kept myself wary. "Why do you always call me Dei, un?"

"... Because that's your name?" I replied uncertainly, not sure where he was going with this.

"No. My name's Dei_dara_. Not Dei, un."

"Oh! Well I guess it's because Deidara's a bit of a tongue-twister. So I just use Dei, for short. It helps me to be more serious when I'm shouting at you." I added glaring at him pointedly.

"I see, un. So that's what it was! And I thought you were just starting to like me, un." he cried in mock hurt. I threw one of my pillows at him, but he ducked and it sailed clean over his head.

"Shut up, idiot. Anyway let _me_ ask _you_ a question now."

His eyes lit up in a mischievous sparkle as he spoke. "Depends what you want to know. I'm a pretty secretive guy, un."

"It's not actually about you. Try to keep your over-sized ego under control. It's about Tsukai. She's a friend of yours right?"

"In a manner of speaking, un. Why? _Jealous_?" he asked slyly.

_Yup._ "No. I just want to know a little bit more about her, since she took it upon herself to save my life. Does _she_ know what you are?" I spat, angry that he'd seen through me so easily.

"Not much to tell really. She's a Jounin from the Village Hidden in the Stone, their top healer and great with fire and earth Jutsu, un. Oh and she's also my sister." he added, appraising me carefully and noting my reaction. I used an iron will to stop myself showing the tremendous relief I felt. "And yeah, she knows 'what' I am as you put it, un. You make it sound like I'm some sort of beast."

"As good as." I snapped. "And she _approves_ of your occupation?"

"Nope, un. Can't stand it. She puts up with it though, un. But that's a story for another day."

"I'll remember that. So who's older? You? Tsukai?" I asked, genuinely interested now. Who knew Deidara had a relative as nice as Tsukai? I know it was naïve of me but I'd assumed that all of his family members were just like him - agents of criminal gangs and accessories to evil acts. Technically if Tsukai knew about him and Akatsuki then she _was_ an accessory, but still… she was just so nice!

"Me, by about 3 minutes, un." he grinned. "It seems like an insignificant amount of time, but to twins it means a whole lot more, un."

"Cool. I'd never have guessed." I yawned. I was suddenly feeling exhausted but I wasn't ready to give up my interrogation yet. "So how'd she get here anyway? I didn't see her when we boarded the ship." I pressed, doing my best to look as enthusiastic as I felt.

"That's because you went to your bed as soon as we boarded." he frowned, noticing my fatigue. He got up and stretched, heading for the door. "That's enough for today I think, un. Get some sleep. I'll bring you dinner later, un."

I think I nodded, but I can't recall. By the time he shut the door I was already out cold, thoughts of insisting he answer more of my questions evaporating like water thrown on a camp fire.

**Well my loyal readers, here it is : the single longest chapter I've ever written. EVER!!! I'm not sure what I think about this chapter… could have used more humour me thinks… Ah well! I went over it several times editing and adding bits here and there to make sure it was as long and well-written as I was capable of making it. Yeah… so enjoy!**


	9. The Dangers of Candy Floss

Tsukai didn't stay with us for very long, a fact I was bitterly disappointed at. As soon as we landed in Port Tazukau she rushed off, apologising profusely and assuring me we'd meet again in due course. And so once again I was alone with only Deidara and Tobi for company. I didn't mind _too_ much… it was merely that I was craving some female company for a change. And so it was with a disheartened wave and a reluctant 'goodbye' that I watched Tsukai disappear into the thronging crowds of the Port's market place.

"Where's she going anyway?" I grumbled as we made our way along the street in the opposite direction from Tsukai, kicking some stray bits of rubbish in a grouchy, if childish, manner. The market stunk to the high heavens of sweat, tobacco and cheap, nasty fast foods. There were stalls selling fish, fruit and vegetables, fishing gear and other useless trinkets. Women bustled about dragging bored children behind them; men gathered in groups near corners, talking in hushed voices about things of little import; orphans eyed the food stalls hungrily, no doubt thinking of ways to pilfer some without being beaten mercilessly.

"To meet Hidan and Kakuzu in the next village, I think, un. She's Akatsuki's medic, but generally she travels with those two. She was collecting medicinal herbs this week and that's why she wasn't with them when you met her." Deidara explained. "Cheer up, by the way; your attitude's starting to get on my nerves, un. We'll spend the night in this village and move out tomorrow."

"Well _excuse _me!" I grunted, running to catch up. I fell into step beside him and patted Tobi on the head out of habit. "So how did she know where to be when you attacked me? Is she psychic or something?"

"Tsukai isn't psychic!" Tobi laughed. "Tobi knows why. Can I answer?"

"Sure. Go ahead." I grinned before Deidara could say a word.

"If someone gets hurt, Tsukai can be summoned using a Jutsu. But that's not how she arrived this time. Like Sempai said, Tsukai was collecting herbs and she just happened to get on the same ship as us on her way back." Tobi said proudly, happy that for once he'd been the one to answer my questions. When I didn't reply he poked at my arm, tilting his head to the side in confusion. "Mizuko?"

I nodded vaguely, my eyes glued to something just beyond his left shoulder. I'd spotted a pair of young children near an alleyway, shuffling about in the shadows, never moving directly into the sunlight that was splitting the paths of Tazukau Port. One was a boy of about 10 years old and the other a girl who looked 6, both with dirt smeared faces and tattered clothing that could put the lowest of bandits to shame. They looked so thin and hungry… so lost. The girl was crying - a pitiful, strangled wailing that tugged at my heart strings - and I could hear the boy talking in a soft comforting voice, trying unsuccessfully to calm her.

"Yo! Hurry up, un! I'll leave you both behind if you don't move it!" Deidara yelled, already at the far end of the street where the market suddenly ended and several shabby houses replaced the dingy stalls. I lifted my hand and waved at him, signalling I'd be there shortly. He frowned, annoyed and confused at my delay but didn't complain like I'd expected him to. I ignored him anyway and turned towards the children, approaching them with slow deliberate steps and holding my hands palm out to show them I meant no harm. Even though I did my best to display my harmless intent as I advanced, the boy still stepped in front of the girl and spread his arms wide in a stance of protection, glaring at me with such hatred that I hesitated in getting any closer.

"Easy there. I'm not going to hurt you." I whispered gently, reaching into my top's inside pocket with one hand whilst still holding up the other in a submissive gesture. "Here, take this." I handed over the little green money pouch I'd been carrying since I left my village – the one item I hadn't left in my abandoned backpack. It didn't have a lot, but it was enough to feed them for a while.

Still keeping a wary eye on me, the boy accepted the pouch and examined the contents briefly before pocketing it with a disbelieving shake of his head. "Why…?" he struggled to put his bewilderment into words. I just shook my head and walked away, not needing to be thanked to know he appreciated my charity. Even so, I allowed myself a grin when he yelled after me.

"Thanks Miss!" He was extremely grateful, I could tell; the tone of his voice testified to that. A warm feeling flooded me and I knew I'd made the correct decision. It was I choice I knew I'd never regret.

"No problem kid! Take care of yourselves, 'kay?."

Deidara's face was laughable when I joined him at the end of the street; a sort of incredulous confusion that, though it shames me to say it, made him look so _cute_. I chuckled and ruffled his blonde locks, happy in the knowledge that it would probably irritate him beyond all reason, and danced past before he had a chance to knock the stuffing out of me. Tobi was laughing himself silly but I couldn't figure out whether it was at Deidara's dumbfounded expression or at my daring move on his hair. Either way it made no difference - I joined in anyway!

"What's the matter, Dei? Shocked that there_ is _ such a thing as a selfless act?" I provoked him teasingly, putting my hands on my hips. Birds cawed over-head, their shadows chasing each other over the hut-like buildings and through the claustrophobic alleys that passed for streets in this backwater village that called itself Tazukau. The sun was high and bright in the sky and it's yellow glow bathed the busy Village, casting deep silhouettes that could contain a whole other world in their dark depths.

"That was a nice thing you did an' all, but do you realise if you'd been with Kakuzu you'd probably be dead right now, un?" Deidara asked as if I were the dumbest person he'd ever met. _Hmm… So this Kakuzu fellow likes money, does he? And his partner Hidan has a foul mouth, apparently. I really have to meet these two. I could have a lot of fun messin' with them!_

"No I wouldn't, unless whatever you guys need me for isn't all that important after all. Besides it doesn't matter anyway; my time's about up any who." I shrugged as if it were a fact as trivial as the knowledge that the sky was blue. Then with a evil smirk I continued, sidling away subtly as I spoke. "Oh and since I just gave away the last of my money, dinner's on you. Thanks sweetie!"

I didn't wait for his reply, running off before he could utter a single syllable. I giggled as I imagined the look on his face - the shock and frustration. I think I would have paid nearly _anything_ to watch it. But alas, I was too busy enjoying the feel of the wind in my hair to turn back even for a second. The soft caressing touch of the cool late-summer air was magic, soothing and revitalising in the same instance. I was certain that _nothing _could ever compare to it.

I closed my eyes, absorbing each second as if it were more precious to me than breathing. I remembered when I was younger, I used to love having races because I would always win. I was the fastest chuunin in my village which explains why I became so good at escaping techniques. It's like I was born to be an escape artist... That incident back on the ship was a fluke; I'd been careless, not to mention foolish. I should have made sure the barrier I set up had worked and that it was strong enough to hold Deidara. Even more importantly I shouldn't have stopped out in the open like that... _Ah well! No use dithering about the past!_

When I opened my eyes again _he_ was there, scrutinising me carefully with an intense look that made my skin tingle with horrified excitement. It was like he was seeing me for the first time and was captivated by what he saw. It felt like he was tracing each and every contour of my face and committing it to a sacred part of his memory. It was unnerving and enticing in equal measures... Not only that but I felt like I was someone _special_; in his gaze I had the status akin to a goddess. And I loved it… feeling so treasured by someone… it was _amazing_. When he spoke, the words rolled off his tongue and I knew they were absolute truth. There could be no doubt in the idolising tenor his voice adopted.

"I like this side of you a lot more, un. I mean the side of you that isn't violent and aggressive all the time. You… you have a beautiful smile... and a nice laugh, un." he said awkwardly, smiling as he did as if to emphasise his point. Unexpectedly he placed a hand on the side of my face and stroked my cheek so softly I couldn't be sure I'd felt it at all.

Naturally I turned crimson and my heart started pounding faster than a mouse's. Like before, his touch sent a heated spark through my entire body and I shivered uncontrollably. This time he didn't draw away and I made no move to encourage him to do so. I'd have quite happily allowed him to sit there for the rest of eternity. Being trapped in this blissful moment with him was my idea of heaven. Unfortunately, whenever I want something it's usually foiled by the gods who, in case you didn't notice already, hated me with a passion.

"Sempai! Mizuko! Don't leave Tobi behind! Tobi is a good boy!!!" came the desperate plea from the lovable little criminal. Deidara's hand was back at his side so fast it was little more than a creamy blur, but not before I registered something odd about his touch… it was ever so faintly damp. And warm. Was it sweat? _No. It couldn't be. His hand didn't feel clammy like it would have if he was sweating… so then what? _Ignoring that dilemma for the present, I smiled cheerfully at Tobi and accepted his 'glomph-like' hug with good grace, though I wanted to strangle him with his own mask. Somehow I ended up on my back with Tobi clinging to my side like a sort of overgrown leech without me remembering having fallen down.

"Awww, Tobi! You know I'd never do that to you. You're too sweet for me to abandon you!" I crooned. Deidara snorted and I elbowed him squarely in the ribs, causing a pained yet extremely satisfying yelp to emit from him. We all set off down the street again, footsteps perfectly in sync. I made an effort to seem at ease but really I was in turmoil; something terrible was happening to me, slowly but surely. It was like a poison seeping to my core and destroying me from the inside out. And it the more I resisted, the more it felt like I was scrambling in the dark for a cure that didn't exist...

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The hotel we booked that night was as dank as the rest of the town. There were several broken windows and the door was hanging on it's hinges as if someone had recently kicked it down. The smell was not overbearing but it was still unpleasant; a sour sort of scent that suggested any food in this place was months past it's best before date. The carpet in the reception area was (or used to be) a metallic grey but had over the years been stained with random patches of red that looked suspiciously like blood. A single vase of brown, withered flowers sat on a cabinet near the staircase but apart from that decorations were few and far between.

The man sitting behind the receptionist desk was quite as dull as his surroundings, with unhealthy looking greyish skin and a glare that suggested 'unwelcome' was an understatement. His hands were the bulky paws of a man who'd seen many a day's hard labour - or many a day's tough battle - and his eyes were small, beady, alert and angry all at the same time.

If that hadn't been enough, when we eventually got to our room after a hurried and somewhat abrupt conversation with the grouchy receptionist, I found it to be the epiphany of all that gave filth a bad name. I argued with Deidara at length about my displeasure towards our sleeping arrangements but to no avail. The only small mercy I managed to glean was that he promised we'd leave early in the morning and I wouldn't have to eat there; there was a nice restaurant nearby where we'd all meet up for dinner later, he'd told me.

"Fine!" I yelled puffing from the agressive shouting match that had just come to a close. "But I'm going out! I'm spending as little time here as I possibly can."

Deidara raised an eyebrow at me, plastering a dubious look on his face as he appraised me carefully. I knew what he was thinking. He thought I was going to try escaping again. He was wise to consider it an option – after all escaping wasn't a lost cause _yet - _however I lacked both the power and the will to attempt an jail break right at that moment so it wasn't something he had to fret over too much. I narrowed my eyes infinitesimally, _daring_ him to try and stop me. He shrugged and flopped down on the rather aged bed, making it cry out in protest.

"That's cool with me, un. On one condition: you have to take Tobi with you. I'm too tired or I'd come with you myself. We'll all meet at the restaurant at 8 o'clock, un. Right?" he questioned, peering at me from the bed where he lay with his arms folded behind his head, which was tilted towards me slightly to take in my response. The long blonde bangs on the left side of his head fell over his face, resting serenely against his cheek and tickling the end of his nose. He didn't seem to notice and continued to stare at me till I answered carefully, having considered his condition from all angles before agreeing to it out right.

"I don't see why not. I'll need someone to show me where the restaurant is anyway." I agreed, doing my best to seem unwilling but really not minding at all. Tobi was a nice person – a dangerous S-Class criminal but nice nonetheless. Given a little time I felt that we could become good friends. So I didn't mind taking him along with me in the slightest. The only thing that worried me was whether it was a good idea to become friends with him when I was more or less at death's door. Still, I wasn't about to isolate myself just because I was afraid of how my murderers would feel when I was gone.

Satisfied, Deidara straightened up again, closing his eyes and adopting the perfect semblance of peaceful slumber even though I knew there was no way he could fall asleep that fast. I glared at him, cursing his laid back attitude. A thought occurred as I stood there watching his gentle breathing, his chest rising and falling at regular intervals and seeming almost too calm to possibly be natural. Maybe, if I stared hard enough, he'd sense me watching. A random concept but one that I felt an uncontrollable need to test. So I didn't look away, instead opting to try and fry him with my unwavering gaze.

Minutes trickled by and he didn't move, nothing changing in either his posture or his breathing pattern. I actually started to think he_ was _asleep. While I continued my freakish observation I couldn't help but notice some of his finer qualities. By that I mean the qualities I was either too angry or embarrassed to notice when he was 'awake'...

Like how his hair was thick and healthy and had a certain 'glowing' quality in the right light; or how his skin looked warm and soft, like a new born baby's; or how his eyes were delicately slanted (at least the eye that I could see), a feature which could make him scary or attractive depending on the expression he used. There were hundreds of tiny details that I'd never caught on to before. He was handsome - in a boyish fashion - there was no denying that, but his face held a hint of the arrogance I knew all too well that he possessed. Yet this same air of self-assurance seemed to lend a strength – a _confidence_ - to those around him; just looking at him made me feel everything would be okay in the end. As well as that he an aura of carefreeness about him that suggested it would take a lot to get under_ his_ skin; that there was no situation he couldn't remain calm in. That mindset was affixed in everything from his smile to his hair. That lazy smirk he often wore and the half-assed ponytail that he tied some of his blonde locks up with; every inch the relaxed young adult he was supposed to be...

I started to wonder about what had happened back in the street. Why did he touch me like that? Better yet, why didn't I stop him? Was I really _that_ weak? Did I really...? _No, no, definitely not! Not even a possibility!_

When I looked at his eyes again I discovered he was staring at me with his one visible blue orb, a questioning set to his amused grin. _Damn it! Caught gaping like an idiot _again_! What the hell is wrong with me?!_ I felt the colour rise in my cheeks and struggled in vain to keep myself from becoming the very definition of a tomato. I refused to tear my eyes from his though; not this time. I would _not_ be the one to back down this time.

So I waited with a rouge face, resolute glower and temperature of roughly 300°C, for Deidara to come out with one of his cocky quips, which he surely would because he never passed up the opportunity to do so. I wasn't disappointed.

"That's starting to freak me out, un. And that's saying something, 'cause Akatsuki members aren't easy to freak out." he chuckled. I stuck my tongue out and tried to come up with a suitable excuse; preferably one that wouldn't have him laughing at me again. Suddenly I spotted the faintest glint of something shiny behind the curtain of hair over his left eye and, improvising, I said the first thing that came into my head.

"I was trying to figure out what that was," I lied, pointing as I spoke to highlight the supposed object of my curiosity. "I was deciding whether to investigate while you slept or just leave it." I added to try and gain some credibility. The sarcastic 'oh, _really_?' look I received told me he didn't believe that for a second but he let it drop. Taking it off he showed it to me and I recognised it as a scope – a ninja tool for long range observation. I'd never really seen one up close, but we'd learned about them at the academy.

He put it back on and resumed his position on the bed. "Does that satisfy you, un?"

"Cool... " I replied with poorly feigned gusto. It was hard to be enthusiastic about something so _ordinary_.

"Yeah, yeah. If you're going then go already, un! Some of us are trying to get some sleep." With that he shut his eyes again and I spun on my heel, bolting from the room lest I be drawn in by Deidara's stunning good looks again. _Say what?! I cannot believe I just thought that!_

Gesturing to Tobi - who was leaning by the door apparently oblivious to all happenings up till this point - to follow me, we both slipped out of the hotel and made our way up the dimming streets of the poor little port town. I was furious with myself for being drawn in by Deidara like that and I _hated_ him for having such an influence on me.

"Mizuko? Are you okay?" Tobi asked in a small voice as if frightened I'd rip him apart. We were headed back to the market, which was fine because I wanted to see what other wares were on offer even if I could no longer buy them.

"I'm fine Tobi. Honestly, I'm all right. I just hate Deidara _so_ much." I sighed, patting him on the shoulder with an apologetic hand. Tobi nodded and seemed to think for a while. When he spoke again I was astounded by his perceptiveness.

"Do you know what Tobi thinks? Tobi thinks that you don't mean that. Tobi doesn't think Mizuko can hate Sempai." Tobi mused. He was absolutely correct; I couldn't hate him even though I desperately wanted to. That didn't mean I was going to surrender. I would deny it until my very last breath.

"And what do you mean by that Tobi?" I snapped irritably. Tobi jumped back at the ferocity of my voice and stumbled over his words to form a coherent answer.

"T-Tobi just meant that Mizuko is a good girl and good girls can't hate no matter who it is!" he rushed, barely breathing. I almost laughed; he was right but not for the reason he thought he was. I wondered if there would ever be a point when his innocence ceased to surprise me. Maybe I was just feeling vulnerable but for whatever reason I decided to share a small portion of truth with Tobi.

"I see... Well Tobi, you're wrong. Even a 'good girl' can hate someone if pushed far enough. You're right though. I don't hate him... I just wish I could." He looked puzzled and I shook my head, indicating that the conversation was done as far as I was concerned. Luckily, Tobi knew when to shut his mouth and didn't broach the subject any further.

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It was about half past 7 when we decided to get a quick snack. Dinner was in less than an hour but we both agreed a small bite to eat wouldn't do any harm. We'd walked up and down the market, paddled in the calm yet freezing waters of the sea and (to my continuing bafflement) been glared at by nearly every person we'd passed so far. Tobi had bought a drink for us earlier and I'd drunk most of it because it was my favourite beverage; coconut and kiwi fruit juice with ice. Now he bought two candy flosses and handed one to me with a cheery little squeal. I felt bad that he had to keep buying things for me and his joy at doing so made it worse. When I asked about it he told me it was okay because we were friends and I nearly cried at his innocent naivety. My heart swelled in my throat and I made a mental note to pay him back somehow.

"Eat up Mizuko! Candy floss is tasty!" Tobi exclaimed taking a big bite out of his. He'd lifted his mask a little, just enough for me to see his mouth and for the first time I wondered what his real face looked like. Did he look like the man-child I'd imagined him as? Or did he look like the criminal he was supposed to be?

As he finished the last of the fluffy pink cloud, he patted his belly appreciatively and pulled his mask back into place. For a second he looked as if he were about to tell me to get started on mine again when suddenly he was bent double, groaning and clutching his stomach like he'd been punched in the gut. He dropped the bare candy floss stick and started to wheeze, the exhaled air making a tortured sound as it forced its way through his lips. Worried I abandoned my own candy floss (which I hadn't touched due to my fascination with Tobi's real face) and put a hand on his back, rubbing up and down in a motherly fashion.

"Tobi? You okay?" I asked softly. He shook his head violently and then was sick on the ground in front of him. There was blood mixed in with the pink of the sugary treat he'd just eaten. I felt panic erupt and not knowing what else to do, I pulled his arm around my shoulders, steadying him with my free hand by wrapping it around his waist and trying as I did so to come up with some inkling of what to do next. The second I had him secured in my hold, he became so much dead weight, his body limp and useless and _heavy_. His bulk, in alliance with gravity, was attempting to drag me to meet the road with my face but somehow I managed to stay on my feet. I knew that getting back to the hotel was my main concern, but I wasn't sure if I could carry him there myself. At least not all the way...

"Tobi? Tobi, can you hear me?" He nodded weakly and groaned once more. I prayed he wouldn't throw up again for the time being. "Okay. We need to get back to the hotel, Tobi, but I don't think I can carry you all the way. I need you to walk with me, if only for a little while; the closer we are the more likely it is that I'll be able to support your weight long enough to get there." Another weak nod. "Are you ready? Right let's go."

We made slow and excruciating progress along the market street and I grew more and more irritated by the fact that, though hundreds of able citizens saw us struggling along, none of them even offered to assist. I started to sweat under the effort of holding Tobi up, who seemed to get heavier with every step. I knew that soon I'd have to rely on my own strength to get us back – Tobi wouldn't hold out much longer.

The hotel hadn't been that far away from us but it seemed to take us hours to traverse the half mile or so. As soon as we arrived I heaved Tobi up to our room and kicked the door out of the way, relieved and horrified at the same time. Relieved because we'd made it at long last; horrified because Tobi passed out and started to convulse rapidly. Deidara sat up on the bed and looked at the two of us in surprise. The growing terror in my heart made me do something I would never have done under normal circumstances; I _begged_.

"Deidara.. help. Please help!" I whimpered, exhausted from the journey but not willing to drop Tobi in his weakened state. He nodded and got up, helping me lie Tobi on the bed before examining him carefully. I crumpled near the wall with the only window, fear and fatigue catching up with me in one fell swoop.

"He's been poisoned, un." Deidara murmured, taking Tobi's pulse. "I think we should summon Tsukai... It's quite a lethal draught"

"Can't you do anything?" I pleaded. _What if he dies?_

"I can't but Tsukai can, un. She took lessons on poisons and antidotes from Sasori-danna himself. If she can't cure him, nothing will, un." He left the room and I looked at the orange, swirly-masked boy laying still on the bed. It was almost as if he were dead already. _If any god is listening to me, please don't take Tobi away..._

**I know! It took me ages to update even though I said I'd update once every week! I had major writer's block on this chapter so sorry if it's a little dull. Again, I tried to make it as long as I could and I did major editing and stuff and here's the final result. Enjoy and keep those reviews coming... please?**

**P.S. I promise the next chapter will be more exciting...**


	10. Gramps, Hands and an Unsolved Mystery

Tsukai looked over Tobi with a worried frown, shaking her head now and then and making soft clicking sounds with her tongue at points. Eventually she took a blood sample and after analysing the results her frown deepened; not exactly encouraging but at least, I thought, she didn't look like it was hopeless._ I _meanwhile stood helpless in the corner, watching as Tsukai poked and prodded at his prone form. Deidara lingered near the bedside, eyeing his partner with mild interest but otherwise calm and collected as usual. I was afraid. Terrified even. I couldn't even _consider_ Tobi's death as an option; he was too young to die.

"Well?" I whispered, needing to hear something other than the ticking of the alarm clock on the chest of drawers. "Can you help him?" She didn't answer for a while, opting to complete her examination before giving a verdict. I understood her reasons. I'd do the same were I in her place. I wouldn't want to give someone false hope only for them to be let down in the end, but neither would I want to tell them it was a lost cause and make them suffer unnecessarily. Endless minutes piled on top of one another and I started to bite my nails out of impatience, not caring about the countless years I'd spent trying to rid myself of the habit.

"It's definitely poison, but not one I've ever encountered." My heart sank with an almost audible thump. I chewed my cheeks as she spoke waiting with bated breath for her to say whether that was as big a problem as it sounded. "However, it's not a particularly strong draught nor one I should have trouble with getting an antidote for. It's a simple concoction; quite poorly made actually. I could probably have an anti-venom made in under an hour. What troubles me is the attack itself. Poisoned candy floss isn't a common occurrence and as far as I'm aware, Tobi is the only one to fall victim to such a ploy. Hmmm... " she trailed off, tapping the side of her head gently with her index finger. _Thank goodness!_

"I've two theories. The most likely is that someone knows members of the Akatsuki are here and poisoned the candy in an attempt to... Well that speaks for itself really. My second is less plausible; someone in the village has a grudge against Shinobi. It's unlikely because such individuals are renowned for their rash and illogical tactics; this was a subtle approach and unlikely to be used by non-Ninja personnel. In any case, investigative skills aren't my forte; I'll make the cure and administer it to Tobi while you dig around and see what you can come up with."

Deidara snorted suddenly, scaring the life out of me. "Stupid Tobi, un! Only _he_ could be tricked so easily. And as for the digging around, I have to admit I'm not the best at reconnaissance work either. We'll probably just hit a dead end, un." Did that mean he wasn't going to bother trying? That he was just going to stand idly by and let whoever did this get away with it? What kind of a partner _was_ he?!

Maybe _I_ could help... Should I? There was a huge resounding 'NO!' from deep within me. It was wrong to help a bunch of murderers no matter what the reason. Insane. I knew all the things it was; the problem was, logic meant little to me any more. Where was logic when I was escaping a few days ago?

"I can help... " I whispered. My intelligence work wasn't great but it was adequate. More than enough to solve this mystery. As a matter of fact, most pieces of the puzzle had already slotted into place. If what Tsukai had said about the poison being poorly created was true then it was actually more likely to have been an unskilled civilian. Even Genin had enough knowledge to make a half decent poison... No, if it had been a Ninja then Tobi would have been dead already. The fact that we were dealing with the food industry made it additionally probable since they would have _some_ idea of the kinds of substances that could kill a person. I doubted a candy floss vendor would know enough to be on par with a Ninja, but perhaps they _would _know enough enough to pull this kind of stunt off. But surely _someone _would have noticed the vendor tampering with the sweets. He couldn't have poisoned the whole batch because then there would have been hundreds of people fainting in the streets and like Tsukai said Tobi was the only incident we'd come across. It had been exceedingly busy at the time, so the chances that _no one_ noticed was just too coincidental. That lead me to the suspicions I'd started to have about the village as a whole... the way everyone had kept glaring at Tobi and me... something had told me we were extremely unwelcome... All that in mind, I narrowed it down to two options; either the whole village had a problem with Akatsuki or the whole village had a problem with Ninja. Those were just hypotheses though. I couldn't be sure without some background knowledge on the village's history for verification. If either of my guesses were right then we'd never know who it was that poisoned Tobi – I knew from experience that a village would protect their own if they shared a common goal or view.

Part of me prayed Deidara and Tsukai wouldn't hear my offer– it was the same part that was screaming in my skull, telling me I was insane. I started to sweat, dreading the moment when they'd ask for my help. When they did there'd be no going back; I wouldn't refuse. I should, but I wouldn't. I'd officially be a traitor. Willingly helping a dangerous band of missing Nin definitely came under the term 'turncoat'. What was I supposed to do though? Whatever else he was, Tobi was my friend – one of the few I had left anyway. I _had_ to try to avenge him even if it was a doomed attempt. Even if he was going to be okay. It's what I would do were he one of my friends from back home. _CURSE YOUR NOBILITY AND DAMN YOUR MORALS!, _the non-crazy part of me screeched.

"_Can_ you, un?" Deidara quizzed, dubiously. Usually I'd smack him upside the head for that, but today he was lucky. Tobi was more important than a silly squabble with Deidara. Tsukai was examining me with polite curiosity, thinking through my words carefully – probably wondering why I'd bother in the first place. One thing I'd learned about Tsukai in the short three days I'd known her was that she was extraordinarily perceptive. She was able to read my mood and my emotions 99% of the time, a disturbing fact that I intended to remedy as soon as possible. I turned my eyes away from her, not wanting her to read the horror with which I took this decision. It was a dreadful choice to make. I was sacrificing a lot to help the very people I was supposed to hate and I was mortified by the thought that I could inadvertently destroy everyone I'd ever held dear by doing so. But despite that I was prepared to do it anyway. _What kind of person does that make me, I wonder?_

"Yeah. I..." I hesitated one last time before spilling my guts in a rush, feeling a surge of disgust as I did so. _So desperate to destroy the world!_ "I think I almost have the answer all ready. I just need some more information and I think I know where to get it. Will you help me, Deidara? Please?" I begged, quietly. _I'm even begging that pathetic excuse for a terrorist. Is there any level I won't stoop to?_

He sighed and scrutinised me with something akin to suspicion in his clear blue eyes. I met his gaze with a hard, determined stare of my own and tried to smother the excitement that curled in my stomach. I found that I wanted to reach over and touch his face, to hold it between my hands and claim him as my own; a notion that terrified me beyond all reason. When he spoke I shivered, noting to myself that this was starting to get ridiculous. I didn't _want _to feel that way about him.

"If this is another stupid plan to escape, un, then I'll do more than throw a couple of bombs at you." he threatened. His voice was so dangerously low that I was reminded of his rank involuntarily. _And I'm in love with _that?! I gasped at my own thought and mentally slapped myself. _No I'm damn well not! This is stopping right NOW!_

"It's not. All I need is to speak to the chief of this village and maybe read some of the village records. That's about it." His answering glare told me he didn't believe me. With an exasperated shake of my head I raised my hand and held it across my chest. "You have my word that I won't try to get away while we're out. I promise I'll do exactly as you say until we find out the truth. Satisfied?"

He hadn't missed the key points of my oath and smiled knowingly as I lowered my hand. "Almost. I couldn't help but notice that your promise is limited to the immediate future only, un." He seemed amused but I could hear irritation buried in the undercurrents of his voice. I had a feeling his patience with my un-cooperativeness was wearing thin. "Well I'm warning you, un. Try escaping again and I'll break one of your legs – both if you _really_ annoy me, un."

I gulped. I really wanted to say something brave and cheeky, like 'I'd like to see you try it, pal!' or somewhere along those lines. However there was something about the look in his eyes – a glint of pure menace – that made me think twice. "And I can't help but notice _your_ promise is indefinite."

He shrugged and made towards the door, holding it open and motioning for me to go first. I nodded and left, casting a last fearful glance at the prone boy on the bed before committing myself to the task I'd set. As we descended the stairs I opened my mind to all the possibilities and allowed every detail my surroundings to bury themselves in my mind and arrange themselves in order of significance. The hotel manager scowled at us from behind the counter as we exited into the darkening streets, a fact I filed away in the archives I'd been composing since Tsukai had arrived. It served only to reaffirm the conclusion I'd come to.

Once out in the fresh air, I found thinking far easier. I paused in the middle of the road, a finger tapping against my lips as I considered our options. Now that I was thinking clearly I realised how futile speaking to the village leader would be. If my hunch was right (which I was certain it was) then that meant I could expect to glean little information from there. Whether it be a vendetta against Akatsuki or Ninja in general, he wouldn't want to speak with _me, _who kind of fell into both categories. That just left the local library, assuming there was one. I could check out the local records for any occurrences involving Ninja of any sort – a raid or a war or something – that would give the villagers cause to target Tobi and myself. Fail in that we'd have to use a more _persuasive_ method to extract knowledge from the leader. That was a last resort that I hoped would be unnecessary.

"Right, I think I know where we need to go. Do you know where the library is?" I asked, rubbing my temples. He didn't answer and I started to get frustrated. My temper was fragile today and I didn't need _him_ bugging me. "Dei? Dei?! I'm talking to you, you kamikaze freak show!" I spun on my heel to give him a good scolding, and perhaps a fist in the face but when I turned I found him right next to me. And when I say right next to me I mean _right_ next to me – barely inches away from me in fact. He was staring at me with a mixture of interest and amusement. His face was so devastating, so gorgeous...

I forgot how to breathe. I forgot how to move. I forgot how to hate him. Had I ever hated him? How could I hate someone whose eyes were just so beautiful? Who was so gorgeous it should be a sin? My legs refused to obey me when I tried to back up and my heart thudded painfully in my chest... I saw confusion light his expression; I wondered what I looked like that could bewilder him so. Without thinking I reached out and placed my hand on the side of his face, unable to control the yearning for some form of closeness with him.

As my skin made contact with his I felt the familiar jolt of heat and electricity tingling beneath my fingertips. His skin was soft, warm and irresistible. I wanted to be closer to him, so close that we were one and the same being. It was a desire that had the potential to tear me to pieces. It only lasted for a few brief seconds before he flinched away. I might've tried to pull him back but I was afraid. Not of him, but of myself. Of what I was becoming. What sane person would want to be close to a deadly criminal? What the hell was wrong with me?!

And just like that his personality changed; he was cold... his usual bright and cheery demeanour transforming into a distant iciness. It was as if I'd done something that had offended him greatly and I didn't blame him if that were the case. I was even freaking myself out! He pointed up the street and started to walk away without me , meaning for me to follow but not so much as grunting an invite to that effect. The resentment in his eyes had been unmistakable. I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat, feeling cold sweat run down the side of my face. He didn't slow, or turn around to see where I was and I was glad. I was trembling, terror sweeping through me in dark, agonising waves , crippling my capacity to go after him.

Reluctantly I heaved myself out of my stupor and, ignoring the promise he'd made to break my legs if I fled again, I turned tail and flew in the opposite direction. I didn't have a plan; I didn't have a clue where I was going. But I _wasn't _going back. Not willingly at least. For my own sake I had to believe that. I had to believe I wasn't so intoxicated by this... this _monster_ that I had lost sight of who I was and what I wanted and what was right.

The darkness was pressing in on all sides, closing the streets in a capsule of black so thick that I could almost feel it choking me. The cold wind bit at my cheeks and nose and the sound of my harsh breathing was terrifying in the barren aloneness of the now deserted village. Worst of all I was filled with an aching longing that threatened to engulf me. He'd be after me soon. And furious no doubt. _Broken legs, here I come..._

I came to a dead end but even that didn't stop me from running. I dashed straight up the grimy concrete of the obstructing building and kept going across the rooftops like an eerie shadow, silent and fast. When the roofs ran out I hopped into the trees, jumping from branch to branch like a bat out of hell. The pale moonlight filtered down through the canopy of leaves, becoming a greenish glow that turned my skin an unsettling hue and lit my path as my sprinting ate up more miles. I ran long into the night, never stopping to rest, knowing that if I let up for even a second he'd be on me quicker than you could say 'snap'.

All I could think about while I flew like the devil himself were at my heels was of my strange fascination with Deidara. With all the facts I had it was clear what it was. Let's review: the heated spark when we touched; the way my legs turned to jelly when I looked into his eyes; the whole face touching thing back there. It was obvious. I found him _attractive_. That's all it was. And there was no shame in that because being honest, he _was_ good looking. I'd dare any girl to look me in the eye and say that he wasn't. Just a _little_ bit.

Dawn had started to break before I slowed to a halt. I fell to my knees, exhausted and panting, bracing myself against the trunk of the tree I was perched in. I was hungry. And weak. I doubted I could fight Deidara off if he turned up now. Using the last of my strength I clambered to the uppermost branch and collapsed there in a heap, still gasping for air. With the last of my chakra I composed as good a barrier as I was able, sagging as the energy left me but feeling safer all the same.

The sun glowed warm and orange. It was magnificent... it made me feel nostalgic. I could remember the days where my Grandfather and I would wake early in the morning, to train before breakfast. He used to love training me before he died; said it was good to pass on some of his secrets on to the next generation. Every morning he would collect me before dawn and together we'd spar and he'd teach me new Jutsu. Then, drained and starving we'd rest by the waterfall and watch as the beautiful orange sphere peaked over the horizon. I missed him terribly. He had been such a great Ninja; it was unthinkable that he could be killed on a mission, just like that. That was over 10 years ago now...

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_"Ooof!" I gasped as I was caught unaware once again. Grandpa was old but man was he tough! That last kick had knocked the wind out of me. I fell to my knees, holding my gut and trying to coax some air back in to my lungs. "G-Gramps! That one actually hurt, you know!" I complained._

_He chuckled, his wizened voice reminding me of nights spent by an open fire drinking warm milk and laughing about unimportant little things. I glanced at him. He stood tall and strong, a pillar of confidence in spite of his years. There was nothing about his posture that could label him an old man. His head was covered with white and black cloth bearing the Hidden Waterfall emblem but I knew, beneath the covering, he was as bald as a newborn baby. His face had a slightly greyed tinge – the only result of his ageing that showed – and his eyes were the same colour as mine. Warm, golden honey. His mouth was fixed in a smile I'd come to recognise as strictly for me. It was his special smile. The smile that told me he loved me and was proud of me, no matter what I did._

_"Ah, Mizuko. You know how to make your old Grandpa laugh. Do you think a real enemy would have held back?" he asked light-heartedly. I smiled my special smile and shook my head a fraction before changing my mind._

_"But a real enemy wouldn't attack an eight year old, would they?" I replied, smug, sure that for once I'd out-witted him. To my surprise he burst out laughing._

_"How little you know, Mizu-hime." he chortled. I beamed at the sound of my own personal nickname. It had been Grandpa that named me – after the water itself, he said, because he could see I was just like the water. Free, beautiful and above all strong. As I grew older he saw that his judgement had been completely right and so he gave me the title Water Princess – a reminder of both my affinity for water and the fact that I was his little princess. At least that's what he told me._

_"They would?" I questioned, shocked that an adult would do such a thing. Gramps patted my head and picked me up, putting me on his shoulders as we made for our usual spot by the waterfall._

_"Of course! And when you become a Ninja, you would too if it was necessary. Never forget, Mizuko: in the world of the Shinobi there are no men, women or children. There are only those who will help the mission, those who don't affect the mission and those who will hinder the mission. Anything else is irrelevant." _

_"I see." I muttered. The idea upset me a bit; I vowed then and there that I'd never attack someone who was innocent or helpless, no matter how much of a hindrance they might be._

_He must have heard the disapproval in my tone because he continued in a softer, almost apologetic manner. "No need to worry about that just now. Each Ninja makes his own rules. The Ninja Code is just guidelines that worked for someone else." Comforted, I fell silent and settled to watch the sun rise, enjoying the company of my Grandfather more than I enjoyed the company of any child my own age._

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"Gramps..." I whispered, a familiar stabbing in my chest flaring as I spoke the word.

A sigh from somewhere far below drew my attention and made me freeze in fear. I didn't dare look down, and even if I'd wanted to I doubted I could convince my stiffened muscles to do it. I was shocked that I hadn't sensed it before – the chakra, burning as bright as a bonfire on the forest floor below. As a trained Ninja it should have been obvious. I knew shouldn't have stopped!

"Thank god! I thought you'd never stop, un!" The familiar tone sent shivers down my spine, but not for the reasons it should have. Anger defrosted my bones within seconds; anger and disbelief. How dare he captivate me so? And how _dare_ he follow me? A quick glance down confirmed it, not that I had reason to doubt what I'd heard. Deidara was there, clutching his knees and panting slightly, looking up into the tree where I sat too fatigued to start running again. _Dammit! What is he, Superman or something?! He couldn't possibly have caught up with me already!_

I glared at him and I saw him smirk. He straightened up and waved, probably just to provoke me in the hopes I'd lower my guard and release the barrier. If that was his plan then it had failed the instant he thought of it – no way I was letting go of my Jutsu! Not for anything! "Hey, un! You promised you wouldn't run away! Come on down before I come up there and drag you down, un." He said it in a playful way, despite the fact he was deadly serious about it. The rage intensified, fuelled by the fact that he found this whole situation funny.

"Bite me!" I snarled. Folding my arms and looking very much like a sulking child. I reached up and picked a large ripe nut from the tree, weighing it in my hands before I hurled it at his big stupid head. My aim is terrible so it would have missed anyway but Deidara side stepped it lazily, wearing that infuriating smug look that made me want to rip his damn head off.

"I mean it, Mizuko. Don't forget what I said back at the hotel, un." he said in a dangerously low voice, speaking to me as if I were little more than a disobedient brat.

"I haven't and that's why I won't come down." I retorted. I stuck my tongue out at him but to my surprise all he did was laugh. Where were the furious growls, the enraged insults? Where was the sharp, pointy object directed and thrown at my person?

"That was very mature, un." He walked up the side of the tree trunk as he spoke, stopping when he reached the branch I was sitting on and planking himself on the end of it – far enough away that my barrier didn't hinder him but close enough that he could grab me if I gave him an opening. "Besides, un, if you come back without too much fuss I won't have to break your legs now will I?"

"Humph! And I'm supposed to believe that?" I spat sourly, already knowing the battle was lost. I didn't have the power to resist and my barrier wouldn't last forever. I just wanted to make it as difficult as I could for him.

"Yeah, actually." he grinned, revelling in my obvious lack of choice. Looked like we both knew the direction this argument was headed. I let out a growl and he laughed again. Then abruptly his face became serious and his eyes took on a repentant sheen. "I'm sorry, un. I know I scared you back there. I was just surprised, that's all. Forgive me?"

"That's all right." I grunted, my wrath fading marginally in the light of his unexpected apology. He seemed sincere and I guess that caught me off guard. With each passing moment my antagonism slipped into calm forgiveness, until I eventually I couldn't stay mad at him. "It was myself I was frightened of." I sighed after a while. He raised an eyebrow and I tried to explain what I'd meant. "I mean, back there when I... you know. I gave myself quite a shock. I didn't mean to... I just... _I'm_ sorry." I was blushing and I prayed he wouldn't read too much into it. After all there wasn't much _to_ it. It wasn't _my_ fault he looked good.

He was quiet for a while. I wanted to look up and gauge his reaction but didn't risk it, in case he thought I was nuts. When he spoke it was soft and understanding, but teasing. "Nah. It's fine. I didn't expect it and that's why I acted the way I did, un. I was actually expecting you to punch me or something! Let's just call it even, 'kay, un?"

"Right." I was astounded at his ability to brush the situation off so easily. Thankful but astounded. He was different compared to... well everyone. Too impish and good-humoured to be a criminal; too inhumanely strong and cruel to be an honest man.

"So... " he started awkwardly. I could see he was looking for a conversational topic to pass time since my barrier was still in working operation. "What were you thinking about, un? When I got here?" he asked in an offhand sort of way. I eyed him dubiously. What did it matter to him what was on my mind? I remembered something I'd been meaning to ask him recently and quickly discovered a way to twist this to my advantage. I caught him smiling faintly and I guessed he had seen the spark of anticipation in my eyes. He knew I was going to ask for something in return.

"I suppose I can tell you. If you'll do something for me." I asked furtively considering each word before I gave it a voice.

"Un..." he paused, looking thoughtful. "I don't see why not. However there are certain restrictions on that request. I'm sure you can guess what they are, un." I nodded. Satisfied he continued, a note of curiosity creeping into his tone. "So what do you want me to do, un?"

"Um... I... uh... I just wondered if... if I could have a quick look at your hands... please?" I was unsure of myself because even in my own head it sounded like I was a lunatic. Deidara chuckled and shook his head wonderingly.

"That's it, un? That's all you want?"

"Uh-huh. What did you think I'd ask for?" I narrowed my eyes, daring him to come out with one of his lewd quips.

"I _thought_ you'd ask me to let you escape, un. I'm interested... Have you given up escaping or do you just know I'd never agree to that?" he laughed.

"The second one obviously. But enough of that, let me see." I edged forward a little trying to get a better view. However he quickly folded his hands behind his head to hide them from my gaze.

"Ah-ah! You first. Tell me what you were thinking about, un." I stared at him blankly, deciding whether to lie or tell the truth. "You looked kinda down." he prompted. I made up my mind to tell the truth; what harm could it do? Grandpa was dead and it hardly mattered what I said about him now.

"I was remembering my Grandfather. He died a long time ago, on a mission in the Fire Country when I was eight. He was a superb Ninja and he always had time for me; something no one else in my family can boast. We trained together a lot and I have lots of good memories of him. I..." I hesitated, not wanting to show weakness in front of Deidara. He remained silent waiting for me to go on, completely absorbed though my ramblings couldn't have been in the least bit interesting. Exhaling I finished my sentence. "I miss him so much." I murmured miserably.

"Huh. Eleven years and you still can't get over it, un?" The words were harsh but he smiled to soften the blow, showing he meant nothing by it.

"Of course. He meant everything to me. My mother and I are... _were _close, but that's nothing compared to what I had with Gramps. He was proud of me no matter what I did. He always listened to me and he understood me like no one else ever has. That kind of thing is hard to let go of, even after all these years. Haven't you ever had someone like that? Tsukai, maybe?"

"Hmm... Do you know your Grandfather's name?" he asked out of the blue. I recognised it as a strategic step to avoid answering my last question and played along for his benefit.

"Unfortunately not. I'm not sure why, when I can recall everything else about him so perfectly, but his name has wiped itself from my memory. I don't think it really matters, since I usually refer to him as Grandpa or Gramps anyway. If he had a grave, I'd have checked it by now... then again maybe I wouldn't have bothered." I mused. Knowing myself like I did it was unlikely I'd have gone to his grave; I preferred to think of him how he used to be, not buried in a box 6ft under.

"I see... " Deidara sounded pensive. I watched him as he puzzled over something in his mind and started fiddling with a leave that I plucked from an overhanging branch. It was cool between my fingers and the veins traced delicate patterns over the emerald surface. I dropped it over the edge and followed it's floating journey to the grassy ground several feet below. "D'you know why he doesn't have a grave, un?" he inquired suddenly.

"He... " I paused, realising I didn't have a clue. "Hm. I guess I don't. They never found his corpse. I expect there's no point in a grave without a body. And aren't you forgetting something?"

"No point, indeed, un." he mumbled, still lost in his own thoughts. A split second later he was back to normal and he cocked his head at me as if to display some sort of innocence; it didn't wash with me. "Forgetting, un? What would that be?" I gave him a withering glare and held my hands up palm forward as a visual memory boost. "Oh! I guess I did say I'd let you see, un."

He copied my stance, hands up and palms toward me, allowing me to see them properly. I gasped. In the middle of each hand there was what looked like a miniature mouth. At my sharp intake of air, Deidara grinned roguishly and the mouths on his palms did the same revealing rows of teeth as dazzling and white as the ones in Deidara's own mouth. I was awed at the sight of such an anomaly. So much so that without considering my actions I reached out and grabbed one of the hands, accidentally releasing my barrier in the process. I became unnaturally still, as if I'd been petrified. Glimpsing at him in horror I braced myself for the leg-breaking to begin. _You stupid, thick-headed imbecile! You are one sorry excuse for a Shinobi!_

He didn't move. His expression was still cheekily jovial but otherwise there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was as if the barrier had never been up in the first place. Seeing my confusion, Deidara answered the unasked query on my face.

"As long as you don't run, I don't have to hurt you, un." It was part reassurance and part threat. An odd combination for Deidara who normally made statements like that all threat.

Shrugging I went back to studying his hand with fascination. I turned it this way and that, poked at the sides of the mouth, tested the function of his hand against my own – it worked as well as mine did despite it's extra feature. I was spellbound by the hand, finding it amazing and also really cute, for reasons I can't explain. I brought it closer to my face, scrutinising it carefully, trying to absorb every detail when all of a sudden the mouth opened and...

It _licked_ me!

A little pinkish tongue poked out from between the rows of teeth and brushed gently across my nose. I giggled and dropped it, grossed out but strangely entertained by the weirdness. Deidara was pleased with my reaction, snickering along with me.

"Eww! That was so gross!" I squealed, delighted with my new finding.

"Seems to amuse you though, doesn't it, un?"

"Yeah. That is so cool! What do you use them for?" I asked excitedly. Yeah, I know. I am the single biggest freak of nature in the whole world.

"Mostly to mould the clay I use for my bombs, but sometimes they come in use for other things like scaring the life out of people or stealing small objects without getting caught, un." he replied casually, examining his hand himself whilst he talked. I burst into laughter inexplicably and he eyed me uncertainly. I laughed uncontrollably for what felt like hours until I literally couldn't breathe, holding my side as severe cramps tore it to shreds.

"What're you laughing at, un?" Deidara asked, not comprehending what was so hilarious to me. Choking, I tried to tell him. All I got out was a few words but it was sufficient for him to get it.

"You... hands... use for... other things!" I wheezed. For a few moments the blank stare remained fixed on his face. When it clicked he treated me to a mischievous grin and shook his head slowly in mock disapproval.

"Mizuko! That was abnormally filthy minded for you, un." he snorted.

"You think? I was... always pretty... dirty minded at... home..." I gasped, still attempting to smother the giggles.

"Wouldn't have thought it, un." He glanced up at the sky and cocked an eyebrow at me. "We'd best be getting back. Tsukai'll be thinking we've been murdered or something, un"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Let's go." We set off in the direction of the dingy little village again, me feeling significantly happier than I had been before I left it. After all... I wasn't dead. Officially, I had nothing to complain about. And who knew? Maybe the remainder of my life wouldn't be as bad as I thought... Yeah right!!!

**For those of you who've noticed I've updated this chapter slightly. Well actually I just added a bit at the end... There's a reason for it. I've decided to finish this story here. Fear not! I plan to write a sequel eventually but in my wisdom, I've chosen to leave this plot for a while. To be quite honest it's boring me to tears and I have no time to write properly. That and the fact that this story seems to have run aground in the inspiration department. I can reveal that there will be a time skip in the plot and when the sequel starts, a substantial amount of time will have passed. If anyone wants to have a go at a sequel tell me your idea and an example of your work and I'll consider passing the reins to you.**


	11. Bombs Are Always The Answer

**Hey! I'm back! After a crazily long time of abandonment, I'm here to complete this fic! WOOO! Ignore my note on the previous page – no time skip, no sequel. Just the story the way I intended it to be. My writing has changed considerably since the last chapter I wrote so if it's a little weird, I apologise. So anyway... Here we go!**

In the end we didn't bother going to see the local records. What good would it do? Tobi was going to be alright and even if we got the proof we were looking for what would we do with it? We couldn't very well tell the chief since he was probably in on it too. So we just returned to the grungy – for want of a better word – _hotel_. I was anxious to see Tobi anyway and we were both pretty tired from our trip to the forest – something Deidara and I could agree on for a change!

I soon discovered, to my dismay, that I'd run further than I originally thought. A _lot_ further.

"Damn... I was serious this time, wasn't I?" I mumbled, trying to ignore the periodic throbbing in the soles of my feet and obviously having minimal success. "I almost wish you _had_ broken my legs."

"Really, un? Why's that?" Deidara asked in surprise. He was some way ahead of me, totally focussed on the vague haze of light ahead of us that I knew was the town. He didn't turn to face me as he spoke which I found strange considering my most recent escape jaunt but I wasn't complaining. If he didn't look at me I could pretend he wasn't attractive and therefore find it easier to hate him. _Marginally._

"Because at least then I wouldn't have had to _walk_ back," I sighed, flopping down at the side of the road to massage my aching legs. I had a feeling Deidara wouldn't like it... but then I'd never let that stop me before. I wasn't about to bother myself now.

At first he didn't stop and I was foolish enough to hope he might actually keep going and leave me behind – no such luck. A few more steps and he halted too, turning halfway to check on me. He clearly hadn't thought I was doing a runner again; my chakra, such as it was, hadn't indicated an attempt to flee and I knew Deidara was skilled enough to tell that. No, the only reason he turned was to try to hurry me up with an impatient shake of his overgrown head.

Tempting as it was to flip him a none too polite hand sign I restrained myself and settled for a disdainful scowl. "Don't even go there; my feet are killing me and as the soon-to-be-deceased I have the right to rest when I feel like it. So there." With that I crossed my arms and turned away, nose high in the air and eyes closed. That certainly showed him! I mean seriously, it was _his_ fault we were even here. If he hadn't done his weird staring thing I wouldn't have felt the need to touch his face. Ergo, I wouldn't have scared myself and run away.

I heard him start to backtrack, his ninja shoes crunching against the soft forest earth. I wouldn't look at him though – he could plead and beg for all I cared, I was not moving an inch until my feet were bet-

"AAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed, limbs flailing as Deidara suddenly hoisted me up on to his back. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?! Put me down you unkempt pineapple grenade!" _Wow... that's a new one. I'm surprising even myself!_

"Unkempt what?" he questioned, confused by my on the spot insult. "Never mind, un. And quit struggling! It's quicker if I carry you back. Besides, if villagers tried to kill us once they might try it again, un; I don't wanna leave Tsukai and Tobi for much longer"

Reluctantly I saw the logic in his plan – the sooner we got back the better. But I wasn't any happier about riding on his back despite the perfect sense it made. He was Akatsuki after all and I was loathe to rely on one of those freelancing fiends. Although if I was being completely honest with myself (which I rarely was these days) it was because I hated the fact that I was actually secretly enjoying it. I loved the feel of his strong back and shoulders against my heartbeat and it made me sick! To think I was attracted to a man who wouldn't hesitate to destroy everything I held dear... it made me question my humanity. If there was one thing that consoled me it was the absolute certainty that, whatever my attraction to him, I would _never_ allow him to hurt the people I cared about. No matter what I would protect my village, my friends, my _family_ with every breath I had left.

We continued to the village in silence, Deidara walking stoically, not showing any signs of weakening though he'd run as far as I had. I enjoyed the swaying motion of his steps; it reminded me of my youth when I'd spend long days at the park with Hiroshi, my oldest and dearest friend. I know what you must be thinking: I'm only nineteen. I'm not old at all. But for a ninja it was a significant period of time and to have not only survived but to have survived with a friend as dear as Hiroshi was to me was indeed a rarity.

We were blood brothers, Hiroshi and I. Blood sisters too. We could never decide which to call ourselves since he was a brother and I was a sister – 'Blood Brother and Sister' didn't have quite the same ring to it. In the end we decided to be both and it had remained that way since the ritual back when we were five. Apart from my Gramps, Hiroshi was the most precious person in the world to me. I missed him terribly; it was painful to think we'd never meet again. We'd never go to the swings to act our shoe size rather than our age again; we'd never eat at Murui's Ramen Shack again; so many things we'd never do together...

I sighed miserably and unconsciously tightened my grip around Deidara's neck. _Why_ did I keep doing this to myself? I was going to die; end of story. Thinking about the things that were now forever barred to me was just making it worse. Sooner or later I'd have to accept that it was over – there was no way out for me. As Gramps once told me: _'A good ninja fights to his last; but a _true_ ninja will admit defeat and die with honour if the cause is lost.'_

"What are you thinking about, un?" Deidara asked curiously, tilting his head to glimpse my face. Not wanting him to see my torment, I buried my face deeper into his hair. I briefly considered telling him to mind his own business but quickly decided there was little point. The chances of him doing as I said were slim and besides, it wasn't as if I'd made any secret of my morbid thoughts before.

"I was remembering, not that that should concern _you_ any." I muttered, my voice muffled by his thick hair. I could hear his irritation before he even replied, the set in his posture becoming hunched in his exasperation.

"I'm pretty sure I'll regret this, but what were you remembering? And _why_, un?"

"My Gramps... Hiroshi... my Village... I was remembering a lot of things." I whispered, my black mood refusing to shift. "And why do you _think_? Because I'll never see them again. Because I miss them."

"That does it, un! We have _got_ to talk about this; you're driving me insane! One second you're fine, un, the next you're either mad or depressed. What's it gonna take to make you stop moping, un?!" Deidara exclaimed.

He was right of course. I'd been an emotional train wreck for weeks. I mean a little while ago I was angry enough to tear him limb from limb – now I barely had the will to argue back. I couldn't help it though! I just... it's just that when I let myself dwell on my fate... I couldn't take it. It hurt, knowing I was on the short-list for extinction.

"Well how would _you_ feel? I've had everything taken away from me – _everything_. I'll never see my loved ones again. And there's a lot of things I wanted to do that I'll never get the chance to..." My voice started to crack and I winced as the tears came unbidden and unwanted. I couldn't _believe_ it – showing weakness in front of Deidara. Deidara! Of all people...

"Are you...? You _are_!" he yelled, shocked. "You're actually crying, un!"

"Shut up!" I snapped, smacking him in the back and freeing my hands to wipe my eyes. "I'm not crying!"

"It looks like you are to me, un."

"Well I'm not!" I hissed. The problem was that now that I'd started I couldn't stop; more and more tears slid down my cheeks in a seemingly endless river.

"Hey, un. You alright?" Deidara asked softly, his voice showing just a hint of concern.

"I'm fine!" I sniffed angrily, rubbing at my eyes furiously. "I don't _want_ your sympathy."

"I know, I know." he appeased, jumping over a fallen tree that blocked our path. "Take it easy, un. So... Who's Hiroshi?"

His change of subject was anything but subtle but I wasn't complaining. Waiting till my voice was steady, I explained about my childhood friend and how we'd been more like siblings than anything else. Deidara listened without interruption – an amazing feat for him! – and in no time I found myself cheering up. I told him about me and Hiroshi's secret base and about our love of practical jokes. By the time I was finished my mood had lightened considerably and I was back to my usual cheery self.

"And then Lord Shibuki slipped and fell in the lake!" I laughed, my stomach hurting from the hysteria brought on by the memory of it. "Yeah, Hiroshi and me got into a lot of trouble for that one!"

"Quite the rebel aren't you, un?" Deidara chuckled amiably.

"Yeah, I guess I am." I agreed, my laughter fading. Suddenly a thought occurred and I decided there was no better time to ask. "Hey, Dei?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering... That raid I helped the Leaf Village with... It was a false lead wasn't it?" It was something I'd wondered about a lot since my capture. If the hideout we uncovered was real then why was it that the Akatsuki were in a town miles away from it? I know they're powerful but surely they couldn't _all_ escape an ambush with hundreds of Jounin rank Leaf and Sand Nin.

"You're sharp, un. Yeah, that was a set up. The real aim of _that_ exercise was to see your trap and barrier skills, un." he replied. _Oh, really? That's an interesting titbit that I'll be sure not to forget._

Chancing my luck, I tried to press him for more information. "So whatever you guys want me for has something to do with my abilities?"

"Nice try, un." Deidara snorted, amused by my thin attempt to discover the reasons behind my captivity. "But I'm not gonna tell you. You'll have to wait until Pein decides to tell you, un."

_Damn it! _I was a bit ticked off that he still wouldn't spill but I had a more important factor to stew over – Akatsuki had been after me all along. It would've made more sense if they'd only wanted me dead for breaking their barrier but to find out that they'd been targeting me to begin with was a shock to the system.

/\

We arrived at the hotel some time later, Deidara exhausted and panting from carrying me all the way. As soon as we crossed the threshold into the disgusting lobby I jumped off his back and hurtled up the stairs, leaving him behind in my desperation to see if Tobi was awake and well. I barely registered his indignant cries of 'Hey! No 'thanks', un?' as I took the steps two at a time.

Bursting into our room, the first thing I noticed was the empty bed. My heart soared – an empty bed meant that Tobi was up and if he was up he was healthy. However a second later it dropped as I realised that not only was the bed empty, the whole room was empty. Now, I may have proven myself to be a pretty pathetic ninja up till this point but it didn't take a Jounin to figure out that something was wrong. Why would Tsukai and Tobi leave without us? It didn't make any sense.

My neck began to prickle with the beginnings of fear but I ventured into the room nonetheless, searching for a clue of any sort. There were no signs of a struggle which was a relief in itself but if they hadn't been taken by force then why had they left?

That's when I spotted it; a small square of folded paper laying inconspicuously on the pillows on the bed. The sight of it made me sick with dread but I picked it up anyway. Opening it carefully I read it's contents and blanched. _Oh dear Lord..._

"DEIDARA!" I screamed, panic causing me to lose all hold on common sense. I dropped the paper which I now knew was an ultimatum, unable to bear having it anywhere near me. I backed away as if it were a poisonous spider waiting to pounce, my mind running through hundreds of grizzly scenes as I realised – too late – that I was right. The town _did_ hate ninja

"Behind you, un."

I spun, ready to tell him what I'd found but stopped short at the sight I beheld. The note was nothing to this – our last hope, our _last_ chance of rescue was... otherwise engaged, shall we say. Deidara was indeed behind me, standing in the doorway with a bored expression, but he _wasn't_ alone. Behind him, holding a mean looking katana with a serrated edge, was the grubby receptionist who'd glared at us hatefully each time we passed. And to add insult to injury he had Deidara's ninja gear.

"_Oh crap..._" I squeaked, terrified. We were toast; _all_ of us. We were all gonna die! Deidara, Tobi, Tsukai and me – we were all goners.

"Right, Missy; you just come here quiet like or I'll kill your friend before you can blink twice." the receptionist ordered. If not for the dire situation I might have laughed. _Friend?!_ Who was this guy kidding? He could kill that jerk all he wanted, I was more concerned about the others. Or so I told myself anyway.

"D-D-Deidara... the note... it says..." I stuttered, the horror of the situation threatening to paralyse me. God knew that was all I needed right now; frozen while the enemy tore me to pieces.

"I think I could guess, un." he said sourly, his hands high above his head, palm outwards. He didn't seem afraid or worried... just bitter. It was quite irritating actually. Couldn't he show a _little _concern for our...

...Then I spotted it. The mouth in his left hand was moving as if it were chewing something. I raised a questioning eyebrow but before I could say anything I caught the urgent look on his face. He shook his head slightly and winked before shooting a glance at the room window. I got his meaning instantly and my spirits lifted with new hope. So he wasn't a complete idiot after all.

"They're gonna kill Tsukai and Tobi at dawn." I whispered in pretend dismay, trying to buy him some time to finish. He rolled his eyes but played along, closing his hand over the mouth containing what I now knew was explosive clay.

"I know, un. Our friend here told me all about it."

"Well can't you do something?!" I cried, eyes fixated on his hand as he slowly opened it to show me a perfect model of a bird. His other hand began a countdown and I tensed in preparation to dive out the window. When the last of his fingers went down I'd make my move.

"As a matter of fact, I _can_." he smirked. Quick as a flash he tossed the bird into the air just as his last finger went down and threw himself forwards towards the window. I moved at the same time, diving through the glass and curling my muscles so I could perform a forward roll when I landed to avoid breaking anything. I heard the receptionist yell but the sound was immediately obliterated by an exclamation of 'KATSU!' and an explosion which shook the earth.

The force of the blast hit me in the back as I descended from the hotel window and messed up my posture. Instead of landing in a roll as I'd planned I landed in a heap, feeling yet more bruises add themselves to my rapidly expanding repertoire. I rolled over to face the sky, panting heavily and sweating from the heat given out by Deidara's bomb. Scanning the sky for some sign of the lunatic, I began to wonder if he'd been caught in the flare when all of a sudden...

"Look out below, un!"

I gasped as I spotted him falling through the air. Don't get the wrong idea! I wasn't worried about _him_. It was the fact that he was headed straight for me that I found alarming. Throwing myself out of his way, I hurried to stand up and glared as he landed gracefully on his feet exactly where I'd been a second ago.

"You halfwitted suicide bomber! You almost landed on me!" I shouted, punching his arm. "And did you _have_ to make it quite so big? You nearly killed us!"

"I _said_ look out below." he shrugged. "And it wasn't meant to be that big; I _told_ that guy he didn't want to take my gear, un."

I shook my head, disgusted. Where did he get his carefree attitude? Had he forgotten that Tsukai and Tobi were still in danger?

"Whatever. Now what genius? Now that you've alerted the rest of the village to our location what do you propose we do?" I inquired sarcastically, brushing the soot from my clothes. Which, by the way, were filthy again.

"First we get Tobi and Tsukai back. Then we get out of here, un. Sound good?"

"Great; a nice, simple plan. I like it. But when we're done you'll take me somewhere that has a bath, kapeesh?" I grunted, taking a last look at the burning building before wandering after the retreating terrorist. "Assuming, of course, that we survive that is."

**Yey! The official re-opening chapter is finished! I hope you enjoyed it. Review me and tell me what you thought; I love to hear from my readers. Of course that is presuming I have any readers left after my long disappearance... :P**


	12. Subservience And Salvation

"_Please_ tell me you're not serious! We'll be eaten alive if we go in there!" I cried incredulously, staring with unrestricted horror at the building we now knew they were holding Tobi and Tsukai in. It was nothing fancy – not much in this backwater town could claim _that_ title – but it was surrounded by mean looking villagers with pitchforks and other makeshift weaponry. I know, I know; a tad cliché but that's the way it was.

Normally such basic defences would be no problem for even a Genin. Unfortunately, unlike your average Genin neither Deidara nor I were in possession of any weapons of our own. Mr Cool over there had his blown to smithereens and mine had been left at Old Miagi's place on the night of my kidnap. So the assets at our disposal to carry out this rescue were: me, a Shinobi who was useless at everything except basic water Jutsu, traps, barriers and escaping (supposedly, though I was beginning to doubt that since I still hadn't escaped Akatsuki yet) and Deidara, a bomb-less bomber with not much else going for him as far as I was aware. So in summary form; we were dead.

"We don't have a choice, un. That's where they are, so that's where we have to go." Deidara replied, examining the stronghold (which was really the chief's house) with a decidedly unenthusiastic frown. He knew as well as I did that we were up the creek without a boat never mind a paddle. He had a fair point though; we had to get Tsukai and Tobi out of there and we had to do it before dawn. We were their only chance of rescue – weren't _they_ lucky!

"Humph. So what's the plan Mon Capitan? Storm the castle, all guns blazing?" I asked scathingly, folding my arms unhappily and plopping down to sit in the roots of the tree we were using for cover. Knowing Deidara that was _exactly_ what the plan was; I'd learned the hard way that subtly wasn't among his strongest suits.

"I _know _that was a dig at my methods, un." he retorted, looking down at me in admonishment. "So I blew the hotel up; big deal! It was better than waiting for Jeeves to drag us off to some dungeon or other, un."

"Spare me, fruit loop." I scowled, cheesed off by the fact that I actually _agreed_ with him. Being out here was definitely preferable to being in there. The problem was that that was where we were headed anyway – we'd just taken a round-about way of getting there. "So seriously, what's the plan?"

"To be honest, I don't have one yet." Deidara frowned, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. _G-r-e-a-t! _"There's too many of them for us to take barehanded without them raising the alarm, un. And we don't want them to know we're here or they might decide to kill Tobi and Tsukai right away. We'll have to do some re-con and find a less obvious way in."

"You _don't_ say!" I cried in mock admiration. I'd figured that much out myself. The question was _how_? We couldn't traipse over there and wander around looking for a way in – I doubted that would go down well. How could we search without getting caught?

"That attitude _isn't_ helping, un!"

"You're the one stating the obvious! Talk about stu-,"

I stopped, an idea blossoming before my very eyes. With a triumphant grin I got to my feet and marched right over to one of the patrolling guards, raising my hands above my head. I could feel Deidara's eyes on my back, his bewilderment as substantial as my own hand – he probably thought I'd lost it. Maybe I had; only time would tell. But I had a feeling my plan would work. _Watch and learn, Dei. Watch and learn._

"Hey there! Excuse me?" The contingent of men turned to face me, outraged glares trying to slaughter me where I stood. Several of them – the smarter ones – narrowed their eyes suspiciously at me. I was suddenly kicking myself for not thinking this through properly; what if they decided to kill me right away? What if they didn't believe what I was about to say? It was too late to back out now but let's face it – by the time I registered the problems with a plan it was _usually_ too late. I'd have to keep going and hope for the best.

"Hi there! I... um... that is _we_... my accomplice and I surrender." I announced. The intelligent members of the brood snorted in disbelief and for a moment I thought I'd have to resort to Plan B: Run The Hell Away. Behind me Deidara gasped at my statement, whispering a warning to me in a voice harsh with panic and rage.

"What?! Mizuko you psychopath, un! What're you _doing_?!"

I ignored him and watched as the villagers began to mutter amongst themselves, discussing what they should do with us. A few here and there clearly thought I was up to something; rightly so as well. But the majority seemed overjoyed at our seeming 'no-strings-attached' surrender. Deciding to capitalise on their disarray, I cleared my throat and seized their attention once again.

"There's one condition; we want to be taken to our friends. Do that and we'll come willingly. Otherwise..." I shrugged, feigning a fearlessness I did not feel. "Well then we'll just have to see how many of you we can take down before your numbers overwhelm us."

It was a huge leap of faith on my part – I was assuming they'd be reluctant to sacrifice any men in their bid to capture us. There was always the chance they'd see the danger of putting us together and choose to pay that price anyway but these were just simple village folk. Their biggest problem from year to year was making sure they had enough man power to work the farms. Apart from that, they weren't the greatest example of a military unit – they probably wouldn't have the forward planning necessary to foresee the risk.

"Tell your friend back there to come out with his hands where we can see them; we accept your terms." a balding man near the front of the rabble called back. He signalled to two younger men on his left and they disappeared inside the run-down house, exiting a few seconds later with lengths of thick rope. I turned to the tree behind me where Deidara stood frozen in shock, gesturing for him to come out. He shot me a look that said 'Are you crazy?!' but otherwise didn't move.

"Well?" the old man demanded, his beady eyes studying me carefully for any sign that I was about to run for it. One of the younger guys was right in front of me now, roughly tying my hands together without a thought for my comfort – I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from delivering a few choice phrases about proper etiquette towards a lady. "Is he coming or not?"

"_He's_ coming old geezer. Geez, un." Deidara grumbled, coming to stand next to me. From the corner of my eye I could see he was furious. He sent a contemptuous look my way and whispered low enough so that only I could hear. "You'd _better_ have a good explanation for this."

"Will you just trust me for once? I _know_ what I'm doing."

/\

"'Will you just trust me for once?' you said, un. 'I know what I'm doing.' you said. Tell me at which point in time in a hostage situation it's a good idea to surrender, hm? Share your wisdom with me, un."

"Are you still bitching at me, Deidara? I _told_ you, I've got this! Now quit your grippin' and help me get these off!" I snapped, shuffling uncomfortably as Deidara's hand-mouths gnawed at the ropes around my wrists. I thanked the Lord that the villagers hadn't thought to tie our arms behind our backs – that would have made this escapade a lot harder.

"As much as I hate to agree with him, Mizuko, he's right; what were you thinking? What good does it do us if we're _all_ in here?" Tsukai piped up shyly, her attention divided between the still comatose Tobi who was lying on the floor, and mine and Deidara's complex attempt to free me of my bonds. I'd been so happy to see them both when we were first brought to the dungeon (that's right; _dungeon_. What kind of village has a dungeon in their chief's basement? I ask you!). However to my dismay, Tobi was still out of it. Tsukai assured me he'd be fine by morning – to which Deidara laughed sarcastically about him being just in time to enjoy his demise – but that was only part of my problem. To pull off what I had in mind Tobi would have to be carried. That meant that if it came to combat, we'd be down a pair of hands...

"A _little_ support here, Tsukai?" I grumbled, flinching as Deidara 'accidentally' bit my wrist again. _I swear I'm gonna pulverise him if he does that again!_ "I thought it would be obvious by now. As you _must_ know I'm an Escape specialist – I find it easier to break out of a place than to break in. The method of getting _in_ here was irrelevant because I knew I'd be able to get out again... Or at least I hope I can."

Deidara wrinkled his nose at my vague confidence. "How inspiring, un. I feel much better knowing we're in good hands."

"Shut up and keep chewing rat-boy!" I commanded, receiving another nip for my impudence. "Ow! Do that again and I'll stuff those hands of yours down your throat!"

"I'm shaking, un!"

"Guys! Tobi's trying to rest." Tsukai interrupted looking distressed. We were immediately subdued. Deidara continued his work on my bindings in solitude and I examined Tobi's limp form uneasily, praying he'd wake up soon. It was then that I caught a peculiar gleam in Tsukai's eyes – she was _smiling_. Or her eyes were at any rate. But it wasn't just _any_ smile. It was a smile that told me she knew something I didn't. Something that made her very happy... And for reasons beyond my comprehension, made _me_ very nervous.

"There, un. Finished." Deidara murmured, his hand-mouths spitting out clumps of chewed up rope. I reluctantly faced him, my head still full of Tsukai's strange behaviour, and rubbed my reddened wrists – there were angry red welts where the ropes had been. The first thing I wanted to do with my free hands was slap Deidara right in the kisser but, as delightful an activity as that appeared, my better side won out and I started untying him instead. We didn't have time to get into a fight just now; but mark me, I was gonna get him and get him good as soon as we were safe!

"I should have listened to my mother." I muttered as I worked on the thick bonds holding Deidara's hands in place. "She said I should be a baker, but _oh-no_! I _had_ to be a Shinobi; _I_ wanted to be like Gramps. This is what you get when you ignore parental authority."

When I'd successfully undone Deidara's ropes I moved on to Tsukai's – Tobi didn't have any seeing as he was out cold. They'd taken less care tying Tsukai up they had with Deidara and me; instead of the thick, heavy-duty rope we'd had, Tsukai had enjoyed the luxury of simple clothesline rope. It was as good as silk compared to the rough itchy stuff I'd had to put up with! As I tossed the thin cords aside I noticed something that surprised me greatly.

"Tsukai!" I exclaimed. "You have a tattoo!"

Sure enough, through a tear in her baggy black jacket – probably the result of an angered villager's attack during her capture – I could see a swirl of black ink. It was high up on the right of her chest (yes, that's right – on her _breast_) and from what I could see was of a fairly intricate design. Of course the net shirt and black vest top she wore underneath obstructed my view a bit but there was no mistaking it.

Tsukai smiled indulgently at me, as if I were a child who knew little about anything and needed to be taught. But beneath that there was a sadness so deep, I felt I was being crushed by the weight of it. As I watched in confusion she began to remove her jacket, undoing the zip and pulling it off her shoulder so I could see. Lifting her top to reveal her mark, I gasped as I realised – too late – what it was. The design was familiar to me; I'd come across it countless times in my studies and, truth be told, it was one of the things that had drawn me to my area of expertise.

"Oh, _Tsukai..._" I whispered sympathetically. I met her gaze and saw the sheen of suppressed tears. Her agony threatened to choke me and I found myself trying not to cry too. Who would do this to her? Who could possibly violate her this way? Her; Tsukai. Probably the kindest person I'd ever met (and ever _would_ meet given my rather short life expectancy).

I spun to look at Deidara but found that he wasn't paying attention; he was staring hard at the ground, shame written all over his face. My eyes widened in disbelief. _He_ had something to do with this, I just _knew_ it! How _could_ he? His own _sister_! I opened my mouth to... I don't know. I wanted to do something, to say something but no words would come – this was _beyond_ sickening. Whatever respect I'd had for Deidara, grudging or otherwise, had been permanently erased.

You're probably wondering what had me so worked up, right? Well I'll tell you. The 'tattoo' on Tsukai's chest wasn't actually a tattoo at all. It was a _Subservience _Seal. I know that phrase means little to you but trust me, a Subservience Seal is _not_ good. It was... hm. Well in _my_ opinion it was worse than the Curse Seal of Orochimaru. At least with a Curse Seal you had options. With a Subservience Seal you had no choice but total obedience to the one who placed it on you; it robbed you of your will at your '_Master's_' bidding, so if you were given an order you _would_ carry it out. No matter what. Attempting to fight it brought unimaginable pain but often times the memory of what your Master made you do was just as unbearable afterwards.

"C'mon." Tsukai said morosely, re-clothing herself and hoisting Tobi onto her back. "We should get out of here quickly."

I nodded, making a hand sign in front of me and approaching the door. I was far from done with this topic. I wanted to know everything; how she got it, _who_ gave it to her... I shot a sideways glance at Deidara, so swift that I doubted if anyone noticed it. _If my suspicions are right... I'll kill him._ And the frightening thing was, I wasn't even joking.

"Black Mist Jutsu!" I cried. Instantly my physical body dissolved into a hazy black mist, allowing me to seep through the cracks around the door to our prison. I'd unlock the door from the outside and we'd be out of here before the villagers noticed anything was afoot. Easy-peasy.

/\

Remember how I said we'd be out of here in no time? Yeah, not so much. Turns out the basement was _a lot _bigger than your average two-bit town Chief's basement. Within seconds we were lost and that wasn't even the worst of it. Big Gob back there managed to get us caught _three_ times – _three_! Naturally, we dealt with the unfortunates who found us in the only logical way (a task I saw necessary but unforgivable; they were only villagers after all) but now the whole place was after us. Anxious shouts dogged our every step, asking if anyone had spotted 'those filthy vermin' yet, and the echoes of running feet against stone made us jump more often than a Jack-in the-box.

"See? Now maybe you'll listen when I tell you to zip it, huh?!" I hissed at Deidara. We were walking side by side, leading the way down the corridor (which for the record, looked exactly like every other corridor we'd been in) and scouting for stray villagers who might fancy their chances. It had only been about ten minutes but I was seriously loosing the little patience I had left.

The basement was made of concrete, a difficult material to work my techniques on but not impossible – it was the earth on the other side that posed a problem. Yet another miscalculation on my part. Long story short; we needed to get to the main house before we could get out. But what, with the patrols roaming the place looking for us, getting there was proving to be an onerous task.

"You started it, un! 'The right way is left you pathetic excuse for a human being!'. Sound familiar, un?" Deidara retorted, his hands deep in the pockets of his Akatsuki cloak. "And look where you got us; lost!"

"We're only lost 'cause we had to take a detour from the patrol _you_ brought down on us!"

"_Me_?!"

"Yes, _you_! You and your stupid voice! If you'd taken time to master the art of silence we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Well maybe if _you'd_ mastered the art of obedience, un, we could have been back before this started!"

"I _knew_ you'd throw that in my face! Excuse _me_ for not wanting to be Akatsuki's plaything."

"That's not why you ran away this time and you know it, un."

"I don't know anything of the sort!"

"Guys?" Tsukai attempted to intervene. We'd stopped in the middle of nowhere now, Deidara and I having what could be called 'all out war'. I know it was a tad childish but, try as I might, I couldn't forget the Subservience Seal. I had a feeling Deidara was the one who put it on her and because of that I was extra sensitive to his presence. As such we were arguing more aggressively than usual. And that's saying something seeing as I hadn't thought it could get any worse.

"What happened to your oh-so-fantastic escape Jutsu, un?"

"They don't work on thin air, jackass!"

"Guys?" Tsukai tried again, more insistent this time. She'd have been as well talking to Tobi for all the response she got. At least he might've grunted or something.

"I'm beginning to think they don't work at all, un!"

"Yeah? Well... Your face!" _Oh yes, I went there! Ultimate comeback! _

"YOU GUYS!" Tsukai yelled, losing her cool.

"What?!" we both shouted back, heads turning at exactly the same moment to glare at her.

She needn't have said anything; we saw right away what was up. Tsukai said it anyway and as she did I felt a certain sickness in the pit of my stomach. _Oh snap._

"We have company." she mumbled, indicating the horde of fork-wielding crazies that had somehow managed to encircle us during mine and Dei's skirmish. They were everywhere; just how many people _lived _in this town?! _Oh well... _I thought indifferently, slipping into a combat position almost lazily. _At least I'll be able to die with a shred of dignity this way._

Anyone who's been in a battle before will know the feeling of absolute calm that descends before the fighting begins. It's a period of mental tranquillity in which everything slows to a near standstill, every tiny detail becoming as sharp and focussed as the tip of a sword. Unfortunately, no one taught this to the villagers. Their onslaught was immediate and impressive in it's ferocity considering they were untrained farm hands. We – that is Deidara and I – wasted no time jumping into the thick of the fight and taking down our first few opponents, by some miracle receiving no damage in the process. But this was not to last.

The fight was a blur, a great heaving mass of bodies with Deidara and I continually flooring villager after villager in quick succession. Some, inevitably, died, vital organs being ruptured or major bones broken too severely for survival to be a remote possibility. Scissor punch here, low swing kick there, lightning jab to the left... It went on and on. But the more I took down, the more there seemed to be and I could feel myself growing weary.

I dispatched an older guy with a well placed, yet somewhat sloppy, spinning kick to the upper ribcage, effectively winding him. Another man attacked from my right, charging at me and roaring like a ferocious animal. I quickly silenced him with a flat hand uppercut in his abdomen. I then spun to deal with a fast approaching young teenager with a pitchfork but just as I landed a painful punch to his jaw which sent him flying, I was stabbed in the back. Literally.

Pitching forward, I spat up blood as I choked and gasped on my own shock. A combination of pain and lack of air made me fall to my knees – not a very defensible position to be in. Warm crimson liquid trickled from the corners of my lips, dripping to the floor and spotting like some horrific abstract painting. Ironic really, seeing as I'd always wanted to learn to paint. I barely had a chance to recover before someone (the same person who stabbed me I assume) brought their foot crashing down on my lower back. The blood caught in my throat and, though I tried with all my might, I couldn't get it up. Gurgling helplessly, my vision started to fog; I could hear a ringing in my ears. I wanted to get up. I wanted to fight on like Gramps would've wanted me to. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. My limbs were too weak to support me and I could feel a warm sensation spreading across my stomach... more blood. Had they stabbed me again? Who could say...

My eyes were closing, drooping under the sheer bulk of my exhaustion. This was it for me, I knew; this was how it was going to end. I knew it in my heart as it struggled to work, each beat taking longer to complete. Such a piteous demise... killed by mere commoners. But... at least it wasn't by Akatsuki's hand. I hadn't done anything to endanger the lives of my people... I was satisfied with that. I could die peacefully knowing that.

"Deidara!" Tsukai cried. Her voice was distorted, sounding slow and deep to my ears. It was a shame we couldn't have spent more time together... I liked Tsukai. She was a friend in my new, otherwise isolated world. Tobi too. They'd been a comfort I didn't deserve in a fate I hadn't wanted.

"Crap!" Deidara this time. How I'd've liked to put him in his place one last time. So many things I still hadn't had the chance to call him yet; so many things I hadn't said...

Like white noise in the background of my fading consciousness there was the sound of shattering wood and stone... But my mind was too tired to dwell on it. Screams, shouting, slicing, crunching... so many sounds... But they were vanishing like everything else... And fast...

"F***in' hell! Can't you guys do anythin' right?!"

"Just grab the girl Hidan."

"F**k you, Kakuzu! I know what I'm doin'."

I listened faintly to the new arrivals but I failed to understand their speech. They were little more than muffled hums to my ears. The noises of the battlefield disappeared completely... and with them, my awareness of the realm of the living.

**Now, wouldn't you just hate it if I decided not to write anymore? Lol! Fear not! I wouldn't do that to you! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Review me and all that...**


	13. Father Fk You and Frankenstein's Monster

_ I'm surrounded by flames... everywhere, all around me. They lick at my flesh and pull at my fraying courage, yet I know I _must_ continue forward. I must reach my goal. The wood that holds the house together is catching quickly, being turned to ash before my very eyes; soon the roof will collapse and I'll perish if I'm still around when it happens. This I know as surely as I know my own name. But I have no choice... he needs me. He is calling me._

_ I push through the blaze, ignoring the searing pain as my skin is burned and my hair is singed. Parts of the house crumble around me – a beam crashes down in front of me, barely missing my head. I scream in fright and pain, shards of the burning timber embedding themselves in my bare ankles and arms as I try to protect my eyes. I'm afraid. Truly, sickeningly afraid. But not for my own life – no, my life pales into insignificance compared to what I'll lose if I don't reach that room._

_ Diving over the fallen support I run to the end of the hall, headed for the room there where I instinctively know my presence is needed. I pray I'm not too late... I'm almost there..._

_ CRACK!_

_ My left foot smashes through the weakened floorboards and just like that, I'm trapped. The jagged edges of the hole slice at my calf and I bite my lower lip as I struggle to free myself. It's important that I get to that room. I have to hurry. But like a bear caught in a trap, I'm helpless and I let a cry of frustration rip from my throat, raw as it is from the thick black smog spewing from the fire. The smoke is starting to overcome me – I can feel my lungs straining to find clean air and it's stinging my eyes, blurring my vision._

_ "It can't end this way... I _won't_ die like this!" I choke, coughing fitfully. My eyes stream with tears that are only half caused by the miasma forcing it's way through my body. "He... needs... me... I have to..."_

_ My words are meaningless – they won't change my predicament. But I say them anyway. I fight to get loose, I battle to breathe... And I'm losing. My eyes shut, too heavy for me to resist any longer. My limbs fall to the floor hopelessly; I haven't the strength to lift them. As my brain starts to shut down I register one final desperate thought:_

_ Gramps..._

/\

"Gramps..." I mumbled weakly through the remnants of my nightmare. The tear trails were still drying on my cheeks and I could feel the hurt throbbing in my chest with every rasping breath. My only coherent thought was of how I'd failed him; how I'd been totally helpless to save him. I was _hopeless;_ I couldn't even stay strong long enough to save my own Grandfather. That knowledge chewed at my sanity without mercy, eating away at me from the inside.

It was a load of rubbish of course – I _knew_ that, deep down, but it didn't make me feel any better. It had been a stupid dream, a cruel fantasy concocted by my sub-conscience. Gramps hadn't died in a fire. He hadn't even died in a _house_! He died out in the forest under the stars, on a mission. But those facts wouldn't shift the unbearable guilt nor the suffocating sense of failure. I still felt the pull, the desperate need to do something to help him even though I knew there was nothing I could do. There never had been; he'd died far away from me, far from his village, his home...

"F-forgive me... Gramps..." I whispered without any real hope of him hearing me or bestowing me with forgiveness. My eyes refused to open – I didn't know where I was or even if I was alive. There was pain – a _lot_ of it. But I was so disoriented I couldn't tell which body part it was coming from or remember what had happened for it to be there in the first place.

"Is Mizuko waking up?" someone asked buoyantly. I sensed movement by my side as the speaker moved to examine me for signs of awareness. They prodded my forehead with a gloved finger, causing me to scrunch my eyes up in irritated discomfort. I tried to swat them away but my arms wouldn't move, too leaden to so much as twitch; I was forced to settle for a stifled groan instead. My attacker, taking this pathetic attempt at protest for confirmation, immediately flattened me beneath an overenthusiastic hug that crushed the remaining air from my lungs; not good considering there hadn't been that much of it to begin with.

Gasping, my eyes flew open in shock and pain to reveal a large, black mass of... _something_ draped over my aching form. I knew instantly what – or should I say _who_ – it was and, through the haze of agony he was inflicting on my broken body, I felt an overwhelming relief. He was okay; he'd woken up and he was _fine_. In _this,_ at least, I hadn't failed. I'd saved him.

"T-To-bi! You're – al-right!" I wheezed, turning my head slightly so I could rest my cheek on his spiky black hair. His arms were wrapped around my neck, rubbing excruciatingly against what felt like fairly fresh bruises. I didn't complain; if I could feel pain, I was still alive. By my own philosophy, that meant I had no right to complain. Memory of the night's events returned slowly and with it, the recollection of mine and Deidara's daring (not to mention completely unsuccessful) rescue operation.

"Tobi! I told you _not_ to do that!" a woman scolded, grabbing Tobi's cloak and pulling him off me. He tumbled backwards, landing heavily on his backside, but he didn't stay down for long. Within seconds he was back by my side, though with a little more restraint this time. "She's too weak to handle that kind of movement; get off and leave her be."

"Tsukai... You made it okay too. I'm glad." I smiled, meeting her concerned gaze. She nodded with a tentative yet authentic smile of her own and went about checking the bandage wrapped tightly around my middle. That's when I noticed for the first time that my top was gone – I had nothing covering my upper half but a few rolls of bloodstained material. Naturally, I reacted in the way any _normal_ teenage girl would; I freaked out.

"Where the _hell_ are my clothes?!" I screeched, trying to shoot up dramatically and wincing as the ill-advised action sent a multitude of twinges up my spine. With a gentle hand Tsukai pushed me back down, an apologetic look on her face as she tried to soothe my growing agitation. I fought against her firm hand, trying and failing to overpower her. "Why am I not wearing a top?!" I cried again.

"Will you shut the f**k up?! Seriously! Your f*****g clothes were removed so she could heal you, idiot!"

Everything seemed to freeze in time. I blinked stupidly, turning in the direction of the rude interruption like some sort of owl, not entirely sure how to respond appropriately. Quite apart from the swearing – which was impressive even by my standards – the fact that the voice had come from somewhere so close and was _male_ had astounded me.

There, sitting by an open camp-fire with his arms balanced on his knees, was a very pale, very _strange_ looking guy with slicked back, white hair and purple-pink eyes. This was a weird enough combination to be sure but that wasn't even the best of it. His cloak – Akatsuki standard, of course – flapped open around his neck to reveal a well muscled chest which (and here's the scary bit) had a very fresh hole where his heart should've been.

Now, I'm no medical expert but I'm _certain_ getting stabbed in the heart equals death, no questions asked. Yet this freak was sitting there quite the thing, as if he'd barely a scratch on him. The wound was even _bleeding_ a bit, though now that I thought about it not nearly as much as it should've been. Just _what_ the hell was he?

"What the f**k are _you_ staring at, b***h?" the living corpse snapped, his hand slipping defensively over something lying beside him in the dirt. My eyes flicked downwards briefly and took in, with some trepidation, the evil looking scythe in his hand. It was a _real_ piece of work, this thing. Long and very solid-looking, it had three curved prongs at one end, the blades of each a creepy blood red which made it difficult to mistake the weapon's purpose.

Returning my attention to his face I shook my head rapidly, swallowing hard as the sweat started to pour from me by the bucketful. Something told me this guy was not to be toyed with and it wasn't just his fearsome choice in arms. "N-Nothing. Nothing at all." I stuttered, my normally rebellious nature taking a back-seat to self-preservation for once.

"Leave her alone, Hidan." Tsukai ordered, taking my pulse and pushing me back again. This time I didn't resist; I was too busy staring at the one called 'Hidan' to offer much of a fight. Weirdly, he didn't argue with Tsukai when she told him to back off. Actually, he did _exactly_ what she said – albeit reluctantly. His hand fell away from the scythe and he looked away to the flames, wiping some blood from his chest as he did so.

"Teh." he muttered, leaning back against the trunk of a tall pine tree as if our little exchange had never taken place. I raised an eyebrow questioningly, confused not only by his appearance now but also by his seeming deference to Tsukai. I was _positive_ he could beat her in a fight – or at the very least fight on par with her – so why was he so compliant all of a sudden?

Directly across from the foul-mouthed tough guy, sitting on the other side of the fire, was a heavily masked man with the most frightening eyes I've ever seen. The irises were green but the whites _weren't_ white; they were _red_. His head was covered in white cloth and across his lower face was a black mask which hid his mouth and nose from view. On his forehead was a ninja headband with a deep scratch through the emblem – further proof aside from his cloak that he was indeed a member of Akatsuki. I did a double take as I took in the headband emblem, my jaw dropping in shock.

"Y-you!" I exclaimed, horrified. The man turned to me slowly, no emotion showing in his mutated eyes. I experienced a flash recognition for a split second – I felt as though I'd _seen_ him somewhere before... Then he spoke in a low voice that was every bit as intimidating as his eyes and the spell was broken, like seeing a reflection in the water and having it distorted by ripples.

"You know me?" he asked, only slightly interested. My immediate thought was '_yes'_... but that couldn't be right. I didn't recall ever meeting such a person. In fact I was sure I hadn't. What had surprised me was the insignia on his forehead protector – which lead me to a rather more likely conclusion. I must have read about him during my ninja studies.

"No... I don't think so." I said uncertainly, examining him carefully. Nope; no matter how hard I looked I couldn't remember meeting him previously. I'd probably spotted his picture in the Bingo Book or something. "I just noticed... we're both from the Hidden Waterfall Village."

"Your powers of observation are truly amazing." he sneered. I pouted and opened my mouth to say something smart and possibly life-shortening, but was stopped by Tsukai who put a gentle hand on my shoulder. I peered at her inquisitively and she shook her head in warning – a warning I took at face value and obeyed for a change. I was in no condition to be brawling at the minute.

"Ahem... er... Mizuko... These are the Akatsuki members I normally travel with. That one over there is Kakuzu, a money-grabbing ex-Waterfall ninja," Tsukai introduced, bending down to whisper in my ear. "Don't get on his bad side; he's got a bit of a short temper. And that white-haired punk is Hidan. He's a Jashinite priest with a rather unholy swearing habit."

Though she phrased it rudely I could see the fondness Tsukai felt for them both; especially Hidan. She directed a soft smile in his direction and I was struck by a peculiar suspicion. The ghost of a suspicion really, since I found the idea totally absurd. I wondered if perhaps... Nah! That was just crazy talk!

"I see." I murmured, scrutinising the scary pair of Akatsuki's finest from my horizontal position with some difficulty. "Nice to meet you, Kakuzu, Hidan."

They didn't answer, but then, I hadn't really expected them to. I decided almost immediately that I didn't like these two. There was something... _evil_ about them. I know, I know! They're Akatsuki – they're _meant_ to be evil. That's not what I meant though... These two were... _unnatural_... At least the other members were somewhat human. Hidan and Kakuzu reeked of unearthly abnormality.

"Shh... You should rest now." Tsukai soothed, placing her palm on my forehead. "You took quite a beating before we got to you; I healed the worst of it but you'll need more time to recover completely."

I nodded, taken aback as always by her kindness. In all seriousness, I was bewildered by her ability to survive with Hidan and Kakuzu; how could someone so _sweet_ possibly stand being with two utter jerks?! The thought of having to put up with _them_ made me truly thankful that I got saddled with the two I did. I'd take Deidara's smart-assed comments over Father F**k You and Frankenstein's Monster any day. Speaking of which...

"Hey, Tsukai... Where's Deidara?" I asked, looking around but not seeing the blonde bomber anywhere. Though I hid it well I was a bit worried about him – he _had_ made it out of the fight, right? _Right?_

Tsukai lowered her gaze for a second, not able to look me in the eye for some reason. My heart accelerated, panic icing my veins and restricting my breathing. The silence continued and I saw sadness in her eyes, deep and penetrating like the sorrow I'd seen in her when I discovered her Subservience Seal. _Oh no... It can't be._

"Tsukai? You're really scaring me... He _is_ alright, isn't he?" I whispered. She risked a glance at my face and nodded but somehow I wasn't reassured; was she just saying that to keep me calm? Or by 'alright' did she assume I just meant alive?

Seeing the consternation on my face she patted my arm mildly, speaking in a lulling tone that only marginally settled my fears. "He's _fine_ – really!" Tsukai said earnestly. "He's just... a little upset by what happened back at the town."

"Upset?! He was f****n' furious! You're lucky he _let_ us save you; if it was left up to Deidara you'd be six feet under already." Hidan interjected, ignoring the irate glare Tsukai sent his way. I lowered my head in shame, knowing that he was probably a hundred percent correct – I'd kind of suspected as much. I'd expected to get my wrists slapped even if everything had gone _well_. Since everything had gone horribly, Deidara might be tempted to reconsider his vow not to break my legs; and Tsukai wouldn't be around to save me forever.

"Hidan!" Tsukai hissed, turning a wrathful scowl in his direction.

"What?!" he cried indignantly, spreading his arms wide as if by doing so he relinquished claim over any blame. Tsukai crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow expectantly, her expression saying 'You know damn well, what.'. "I'm just sayin' it like it is."

"Well _don't_. Mizuko needs to rest and she'll never get any if you tamper with her nerves like that."

They started to argue I think... I couldn't be sure since my mind was far away, dwelling on other things. Like how mad Deidara must be. And he must've been _really_ mad 'cause he wasn't even around to tease me about getting beaten up or to moan at me for being so stupid. He was probably off somewhere by himself, plotting all the painful ways he'd like to kill me.

Geez... When did my life get so _hard_? I could still remember the days when my biggest worry from day to day was completing a mission without falling all over my team mates – how I missed my Genin days! But ever since I'd perfected my barriers and stuff, it had been one problem after another. I hadn't _asked_ to help the Leaf and Sand with their raid on Akatsuki's base; I hadn't gotten involved in the fighting; all I'd done was follow orders and yet _I_ was the one who seemed to be paying for it.

Letting out an exhausted sigh I hauled myself up into a sitting position – with some effort, I might add – and grabbed onto Tobi's shoulder. He did nothing as I used him to prop myself up, eventually managing to struggle to my feet, his eye(s) following me uncertainly; probably trying to decide whether to attempt stopping me or not. Tsukai, Hidan and even Kakuzu, all stopped in their tracks to watch me with emotions varying from mild disinterest to amusement to blatant horror. No prizes for guessing who was who.

"Mizuko, I know what you're thinking and I really _don't_ think it's a good idea. I've seen him when he gets like this; trust me, it's best you leave him to cool off for a while," Tsukai objected, rushing to force me down yet again. I shook my head at her protests, using Tobi to prop myself up as I staggered to my feet. It was a sluggish process but when at last I managed to stand I released the friendly boy and tried a few steps going solo. I tumbled at first and Tobi shot up to help, supporting my arm with a strength I hadn't suspected he had. I patted his hand and freed myself gently – I was going to see Deidara _alone_ so I needed to learn to walk alone.

Swaying precariously, I tottered jerkily to the camp-fire and back a few times until at last, satisfied, I turned back to Tsukai. "The longer I leave him, the worse he's gonna get; I might as well face the music now and get it over with." I said with conviction. It was only _half_ of my reason for wanting to see him. I wanted to see for myself that he _was_ alright.

"I don't know, Mizuko... I think you should leave it a while. At _least_ until morning," Tsukai worried, biting her lower lip nervously. Her concern for me was touching but I'd made my decision; I had to have it out with Deidara _now_ or I'd be anxious about it all night. She wanted me to rest? Well the only way I'd get any was by making my peace with Dei before morning.

"No; I'm going to see him _now_. _You're _not the one who has to travel with him in that mood." I insisted, patting my stomach vaguely as it growled hungrily. I realised I hadn't eaten since lunchtime thanks to that incident with the candyfloss. _When I get back I'll have some food before I go to sleep._ "So... where is he anyway?"

"About 300 yards that way, on lookout." Tsukai sighed in defeat, pointing in a Southerly direction. I nodded appreciatively and limped forwards, thanking her as I passed. She shook her head miserably and went to sit beside Hidan by the fire, closely followed by Tobi who also watched me go with some degree of unhappiness. Why they allowed themselves to care so much was beyond me; now or later, I _was_ going to die in the end.

/\

I stumbled though the woods clumsily, falling several times and cursing several times more – so much for stealth of the ninja, huh? I was sure that Deidara would hear me coming a mile away and I hoped, perhaps vainly, that he'd come and help me, saving me the trouble of walking all the way. It wasn't far; had I been at my normal functionality, it'd have taken me less than five minutes. But I was fragile today so the going was tough and as a testament to his anger, Deidara did _not_ come to lend a hand.

As I pushed through the underbrush into the clearing he was using as a lookout post, I fell spectacularly, landing in a heap of tangled limbs and harsh profanities. My feet – bare, since I neglected to don my ninja sandals which had been removed for some reason – were caught in a mess of thick vines and clinging branches from the forest bushes. I turned irately, tugging at the natural ropes and cutting my finger on a wayward thorn.

"God dammit! Will _nothing_ go my way today?!" I cried in frustration, sticking my bleeding finger in my mouth and sucking hard to stop the flow. Kicking furiously, I managed to toss the plant life off me but the movement reopened the wound in my stomach and fresh blood seeped into the already crimson bandages. _Great! Just flamin' GREAT!_

Ignoring the pain I flipped over onto my stomach, steadying my hands beneath me and pushing as hard as I could until I was on my hands and knees. Pausing to catch my breath I tried to encourage myself with thoughts of food before attempting to go the full slog and stand. That's when I noticed the pair of feet in front of me. I gulped, sweat beading on the back of my neck as I forced myself to look up, right into the cold face of none other than Deidara.

I decided – too late, as was my custom – that maybe Tsukai had been right; perhaps the best idea was to leave Deidara to calm down a little before I tried talking to him. Of course, now that I'd made that connection it was far too late to do anything about it. He was here and I was here and what's more, we were here _alone_. If he wanted he could beat me to a bloody pulp and no one would know in time to save me. I couldn't even put on a half decent show of defending myself.

I smiled anxiously, though I think it came out a little thin. Deidara's face didn't soften and I swallowed hard past the dry lump in my throat, wondering which words I could use that wouldn't incur his wrath. Making a joke of it was out of the question – he'd probably kill me on the spot if I even tried. In the end I decided to play it dumb, at _least_ until he mentioned it first. Not an ideal course of action but I didn't have the option of being picky.

"So... uh... Nice night, huh?" I tried, digging my fingers into the moist earth nervously as I waited for him to either smack me one or walk away in a huff. He chose the latter, which should have come as a comfort but served only to agitate me further. His silent rage was more frightening in a way that I couldn't define... like he was on the verge of exploding and the longer he held it back the worse it would be.

I watched his retreating back apprehensively, worried that at any moment he'd turn around and destroy me, even more worried that he wouldn't. He sat down roughly on a cliff ledge that overlooked the town we'd come from and despite the alarm bells ringing in my skull, I followed him, sitting in a spot with enough distance between us that I'd at least have time to brace myself should he attack. Not that I thought I'd bee any less dead when he was finished or anything.

For long minutes neither of us spoke, him too angry to, me too afraid. Several times I tried to come up with a decent explanation or apology but nothing I thought of sounded good enough. By now I knew Deidara well enough to know he was a grudge-holder – it would take something quite amazing to snap him out of his rage. And nothing I could offer fitted that bill so my best bet was silence. Patience and silence.

"What do you _want_, Mizuko?" he snapped suddenly, making me jump in fright. I glanced at him furtively but he was still looking at the town. I couldn't see his face, the curtain of his hair obscuring everything except the tip of his nose, but I didn't _need_ to, to know what he was feeling. His anger was literally burning me. On the bright side, at least he was okay...

His question was a good one; what _did_ I want? His forgiveness? His understanding? His usual cheery self? I wasn't sure. I'd wanted to come to him – had insisted to the point of getting up when I clearly wasn't well enough – but now that I was here, I didn't know what it was I wanted from him.

"Well?" he growled, his voice whipping out through the night like a crack of thunder. I flinched momentarily but soon found my voice, coughing to clear my throat.

"There's a lot I want, Deidara. I want my freedom; I want my home; I want my friends. But right now... for now, I'll settle for my old kidnapper back." I tried to sound confident; I tried to sound like I knew what I was talking about. But, whether he fell for it or not, I didn't have a clue what I was saying. It was true – I _did_ want those things. _All_ of those things. But I hadn't intended to tell him that.

"Too bad, un." he spat, turning at last to glare at me witheringly. And I _mean_ witheringly – I could feel myself shrinking under the intensity of his fury. _How_ was I going to fix this? He was spitting flames! And sadly I'd skipped class the day they taught us the fire retardant Jutsu.

"Look," I started, edging away from him almost imperceptibly. "I did what I thought was right. Tobi and Tsukai needed us – they were sentenced to death and they had no way to escape by themselves. We needed to get to them; you agreed with that much before we entered. And besides, we all got out safely so what are you so mad at?"

"What am I mad at? What am I mad at?!" Deidara shouted, jumping to his feet and advancing on me threateningly. "The only reason we escaped is because Hidan and Kakuzu showed up when they did, un. And 'got out safely'? Look at you, un!" He grabbed my shoulders and hauled me to my feet, shaking me until I felt like I was going to vomit. "Do you call this _safe_? Well? _Do_ you, un?!"

"N-n-no D-Deid-d-ara!" I cried through my chattering teeth. He stopped shaking me but his scowl didn't fade, his unhidden cerulean eye piercing me with icicles of wrath. I gulped in lungfuls of air, shivering fearfully in his sturdy grip like a leaf in the wind. Taking a dangerous gamble, I reached out weakly to grasp his arms – still outstretched as he clamped me in place – and met his frightening rage head-on. "I'm not 'safe' the way you'd define it – I didn't get away without injury like you guys. Maybe that's my own fault for being so powerless as a Shinobi. But technically there hasn't been a moment in the months since my kidnap when I _have_ been 'safe'. I'll never be 'safe' again. The best I can hope for is to be alive and for now, at least, I am. Stop worrying so much about what _could_ have been because it isn't what happened."

He remained silent for a moment, his features gradually morphing to be replaced by a stoic mask. His temper was disintegrating but I knew there was still a chance he could explode again. He dropped me and folded his arms, not blinking as I landed heavily in the dirt. "Who said I cared, un?"

"Isn't that why you're out here? You're mad at me because I put us all in danger without a real plan, right?" I asked in confusion. If he didn't care then why was he so pissed off? "That sounds like you care to _me_."

He didn't answer for a while, lost as he was in total concentration while he thought of a reply. At last he sighed, his anger (to my relief) completely dissipated. "Yeah, I guess, un." He didn't sound so sure but I didn't challenge him – it was time to count my blessings and leave it be.

"Well then I'm sorry," I apologised, shuffling over to the cliff and sitting on it's ledge once more. I signalled for him to join me which he did, sitting next to me with his legs dangling over the edge like mine. "I didn't mean for it to turn out this way."

We looked out over the landscape together in soundless companionship, at peace with the world and all the beauties it had to offer. The golden farmer's fields merged with the greens of the forest and grasslands, punctuated on occasion by the shimmering midnight blue of a lake or river. An owl, silhouetted momentarily against the perfectly round moon, hooted forlornly before diving downwards, obviously in pursuit of some rodent who'd been stupid enough to get caught in the pale light.

"Say... Deidara?" I muttered abruptly, remembering something that I'd meant to bring up the second we were out of that Hell-town. I'd forgotten all about it until now – understandable under the circumstances.

Deidara grunted to let me know he was listening and I measured my words carefully before going on. It was hard since, for some reason, I was getting terribly dizzy and nauseous – probably the hunger getting to me. But I forced myself to continue, knowing I'd know no peace unless I knew the truth. "That seal... the Subservience Seal I found on Tsukai... Was it... I mean, did _you_ put it on her?"

"What, un? Of course not! What kind of man do you take me for, un?" I gave him a pointed look and he smirked – yes, _smirked; _my heart sang as his old personality started to shine through – shrugging as he read my mind. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm an S-rank criminal, un. But even _I_ wouldn't use a Jutsu like that – least of all on my own sister. However," he paused and all traces of his good humour disappeared again, replaced by the shame I'd seen back in the dungeons. "that doesn't mean I'm not to blame, un."

"What does that mean?"

"I may not have put it on her myself but it's still my fault she has it, un." he replied evasively. He turned away, no longer able to meet my eye as he spoke. "When I left the Village Hidden in the Stone, I left Tsukai behind – I thought that was what was best for her, un. I thought she'd be safe and happy... But the Village elders were afraid of her. Afraid of what she might be capable of because she was my sister, un. So to keep her under control and stop her from abandoning the Village too, they put a Subservience Seal on her."

He trailed off into guilty silence, remembering something that I decided it was best not to ask about. So _that_ was it... It had been an elder in their old Village who'd marked her. And he felt that it was _his_ fault because it happened as a result of him leaving the Village. What an idiot! Sure, I'd never agree with him leaving, but how the hell was _he_ supposed to know what they'd do to her?

I was about to raise this point when my head suddenly lolled to the side of it's own accord – I was feeling sick again. _Really_ sick. My head landed on Deidara's shoulder and he jerked, looking at me in surprise. I tried to move away but I couldn't; I was too heavy... too tired. Then I remembered – my wound had reopened after I fell... it must have been bleeding this whole time... I was passing out from blood loss! It was the perfect end to a perfect day really. _Typical._

"What's the matter, un?" Deidara asked, poking nervously at my forehead, not knowing quite how to react to my sudden contact. I grabbed his hand feebly and looked into his eyes, trying to say through them what I couldn't say using words. _Help..._ He glanced down and his eye widened in understanding – he could see the blood seeping through my bandage. "You idiot! What the hell were you thinking, coming out here in your condition, un?"

He picked me up bridal style and headed back to the campsite, murmuring something about having a death-wish. I smiled faintly, gladdened despite my weakening state that the old Deidara was back. Irritating, condescending attitude and all.

**^_^ What do you think? Good, bad, alright? If you have the time, let me know!**


	14. A Decidedly Difficult Day

We left first thing the next morning, heading out to God knows where for only God knows why. After the fiasco the night before, Tsukai was aggressively insistent that I not strain my injuries by walking (or doing anything else for that matter) so I had the pleasure of enjoying another of Deidara's infamous piggyback rides. Personally, I thought she was being unreasonable. I was perfectly capable of walking by myself; it wasn't like I'd lost a limb or anything, heaven forbid. But she was most convincing in her arguments. Amazing what a few subtle death threats can do...

The first leg of our journey was spent travelling as a large group, with Hidan and Kakuzu newly inducted into our merry ranks. And I must say what an absolute delight _they_ were to talk to. Their enthusiasm made a funeral look like a drunken Barmitzvah! I mean for starters, Kakuzu marched away ahead of us all, acting as if he was all that and a bag of sugar. And Hidan – whom I suspected _could_ be a lot of fun in the right conditions – swaggered along like Mr Suave himself, too cool to entertain us lowly common folk. I _did_ notice, however, that he walked in perfect alignment with Tsukai at all times – though it was hard to say whether he did this on purpose or not. I made a mental note to ask Deidara about it later.

It was about mid-morning when I decided I'd finally had enough of our less than enjoyable stroll through the woods. The sun had long since risen, casting the tall pines in a wondrous golden glow that was almost too perfect to pass for real; but even this amazing sight hadn't entertained me for long. I'd _tried_ admiring nature like I normally would in such conditions – I _really_ had – but it turned out that when I was with company, it wasn't as easy a pastime to participate in. Clinging to Deidara's back like a newborn koala bear didn't help either. Sort of took away from the glamour of the hobby, if you know what I mean.

"Are we there yet?" I moaned, swinging my legs in boredom by Deidara's sides. His long blonde hair tickled my face and for a while, early on in our journey, I'd made a game of blowing it out of the way. Of course, Deidara had objected to this rather profusely so I'd had to stop. Nevertheless, I could sense the beginnings of a new game in the making with the irritated silence that met my inquiry.

"Are we there yet?" I whined again after a few cautious seconds, testing my entourage's reactions. Still no answer. Ah well, no matter. They might be Akatsuki super-ninjas but they were human first and foremost – or so I thought anyway. I knew that in the end they'd crack like so much glass under a boulder. _However_... if you're gonna play a game you should play it right, shouldn't you? So with an evil grin that no one else noticed, I placed my bets. Let the games begin!

"Are we there yet?"

Nothing. I allowed my smirk to grow, amused by their apparent obliviousness at my attempts to annoy them. Who would be the first to break? My money was on Hidan, ol' Mr Profanity himself. Then again, Kakuzu was no Sir Tranquillity either. And Deidara's tolerance levels were getting dangerously low after having spent such a long time in my company. The game could swing either way and with only myself to bet against, I would win no matter the outcome.

"Are. We. There. Yet?"

I annunciated each word precisely, drawing it out for maximum effect. From the corner of my eye I saw Hidan's eyebrow twitch fractionally, barely a tremble along his pale forehead but unmistakable as a sign of mounting stress. I could also feel Deidara, usually relaxed and lithe, tense beneath my tenacious grasp, his last nerve clearly fraying against my expert use of the Little Pest Jutsu. Well, it _was_ my most developed talent. Just a little more; they couldn't handle it much longer.

"Are we there _yet_?" I sung in a voice of childish glee, warming to my new method of entertainment. Kakuzu, a good distance ahead of us already, turned ever so slightly, the little that was visible of his face giving away nothing. Was I getting to him too? I had a feeling I was. I grinned, thoroughly proud of myself for coming up with such a fabulous idea.

"Are we there-," I started, raising my voice infinitesimally for Kakuzu's benefit in case he hadn't heard me. I didn't get to complete my mantra though as I was interrupted mid-sentence by an animal-like growl of impatience.

"For the f****n' love of Jashin! No, dammit! We are _not_ there yet!" Hidan snapped, glaring at me over his shoulder, a vein pulsing furiously on his right temple. I frowned at him, disappointed; I'd expected to get in another two or three before someone blew up. Obviously I'd given him _way _too much credit.

"Easy, Brother Snowball. Remember thy commandments; thou shalt not Blaspheme." I soothed in a voice of clam wisdom. Deidara snorted, trying to hide his laughter by feigning a coughing fit, the stiffness he'd adopted during my game melting instantly. Tobi had no such reservations, either failing to notice or failing to care about the angry tension polluting the otherwise peaceful atmosphere, and so let out an unchecked cackle of mirth. Even Tsukai – who, I'd learned from observation the night before, had an obvious soft spot for Hidan – had to hide a giggle behind her tiny hand.

"Brother _what_? Commandments? Blaspheme?!" Hidan stuttered, enraged. Now _this_ was what I called fun!

"Tsk tsk. I know you're not the brightest of buttons, Snowball, but surely you know what blaspheming is! As a man of the... hm. Now there's a question. Does your religion have churches?" I asked innocently. In a remote and rarely acknowledged corner of my brain, I wondered if perhaps my life of constant danger had given me a daredevil streak; I was walking a very fine line, toying with Hidan the way I was. Apart from the no doubt colossal difference in our strength and abilities, he was probably the least controlled of the Akatsuki members I'd met so far.

All the same, Tobi, Deidara and I were all crippled with laughter, choking on our vindictive delight with little regard for the priest's rapidly intensifying wrath, which manifested itself through a steady increase in the tempo of his throbbing vein and a distinct reddening of his normally pallid features. Tsukai placed a hand on his forearm in an effort to calm him but she too had burst into hysterics, her eyes brimming with tears of glee though she tried valiantly to deny them. The only one who hadn't so much as smiled was Kakuzu, who'd turned his back on us by this point and was getting further and further away as the seconds ticked by.

"That's _it_!" Hidan hissed darkly, removing his scythe from his back and sending a spark of terror up my spine. "I'm gonna use you in my ritual and stick you like a f****n' pig!"

It's probably evident by now, but my natural reaction to fear is false bravado for some reason. Therefore, it was no surprise (to me at least) that I took it upon myself to provoke him further. Such is the awesome might of sheer stupidity mixed with an obstinate will.

"Go for it big guy! I dare ya!" I challenged, sticking my tongue out and pulling down on my eye like a smug child. _He won't do it; he wouldn't dare, _I tried to assure myself. I was still essential to Akatsuki for whatever reason and he'd have Pein to answer to if he rendered me useless. Surely that would be enough to dissuade him from _actually_ doing anything. Right?

Hidan roared like some sort of rabid animal and swung his hefty weapon straight at my neck, apparently forgetting that Deidara was beneath me. Had he connected, he'd have chopped both mine and Dei's heads off. Luckily, Deidara was more skilled than I'd come to believe and he managed to jump out of the way of the deadly blades before they so much as scratched us – though it was an incredibly close call. As we landed a safe distance away from the maniac, I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the dry lump of horror from my throat – it would seem that Hidan wasn't all that bothered about my potential uses...

"Watch where you're swinging that thing, will ya, un?!" Deidara shouted, adjusting my weight on his back. "You nearly killed us!"

"Little bitch; you're lucky Deidara was here to save your useless ass!" Hidan spat, returning his scythe to his back and stomping after Kakuzu. Tsukai offered me an apologetic grimace and followed him, whispering something harshly that I prayed she'd thought through better than _my_ comment. It was official – Hidan was a psychopath. I laughed nervously, euphoric as I realised just how close I'd come to death – _again_.

"And you, you idiot!" Deidara addressed me, starting after the others and tinting his tone with disapproval. He wasn't fooling _me_. I knew he found my antics hilarious – he'd have said something sooner otherwise. "Did your run-in with the Leader teach you nothing, un? The members of Akatsuki aren't designed to handle large amounts of irritation."

I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead, staring at Hidan's retreating back with incredulity. _He nearly hit me! That b*****d!_

"Apparently you guys weren't designed to handle a joke either... or contact with human beings for that matter..." I grumbled, rubbing the back of my neck, suddenly acutely aware of how much I enjoyed it being attached to my shoulders.

"What, un?" Deidara asked, twisting his head curiously. I'd have _dearly_ loved telling him to shut his face. Or telling him that I said he stinks. But my courage wasn't strong enough to push the limits of any more murderous criminals today.

"Nothing. I didn't say a word." I muttered.

/\

"Aww... Do you _have_ to go?" I moaned forlornly. Tsukai – whom I was growing rather attached to despite my better judgement – nodded sadly. She peered at Hidan and Kakuzu, who'd already left down the left trail of a fork in the road, and sighed deeply. They'd been total jerks all day; something I had a feeling was directly linked to my presence. I could understand Hidan's attitude (sort of) but I was at a loss as to what was up Kakuzu's ass. I hadn't done anything to _him_.

"Yeah. Duty calls. Besides, I think I need to teach Hidan some manners... again!" she laughed, shouldering her backpack. I kicked sullenly at the remains of the camp-fire we'd built to cook lunch earlier, the wood charred down to so much ash and soot. "I'm sorry by the way. He shouldn't have attacked you like that. Hidan's a bit rough around the edges but he's alright when you get to know him; he'll come around."

_Oh yeah, who could doubt it?_ I thought sarcastically. But something in Tsukai's almost pleading look prevented me from saying it. Instead I merely shrugged, trying to brush it off like it was nothing.

"It wasn't your fault; I really _should_ learn to shut up. That's what got me this," I sighed, indicating the silvery scar on my left cheek – a remnant of my first epic meeting with the Akatsuki Leader. I was racking up quite an extensive list of injuries from the organisation – I'd had a mangled arm from shark-man; a broken arm from Deidara (accident or not, I still held him responsible); and shattered ribs, among other things, from Pein. The way I was going, I was apt to break the World Record for Akatsuki's most tortured prisoner.

"I guess..." Tsukai said uncertainly, eyeing the distant form of the Jashinite briefly. Shaking her head, she graced me with a warm smile and handed me a small package wrapped in leaves – a little concoction she'd made during lunch to rub into my wounds. "I'd best get going; those two aren't above leaving me behind. And remember, Mizuko, _no_ walking. You three are stopping off at a village a few miles North-West of here and I don't want you to take even _one_ step on the journey. You got that Deidara?" she added darkly, her tone suggesting there would be severe repercussions otherwise.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it, un." Deidara grumbled, stretching as he stood. Tsukai punched his shoulder fondly and chuckled, spreading her arms expectantly towards him. Making a show of rolling his eyes and trumping over reluctantly, Deidara allowed her to wrap him in a hearty embrace which he returned even though he'd tried to seem unwilling. It was a heart-warming sight, the two of them together; brother and sister sharing a goodbye hug. Touching even though there was no doubt in my mind that Deidara would sell her for a bag of explosive clay.

"Oh, oh! Tobi too!" Tobi yelled, jumping on the pair of them and destroying the moment. He received a good punch in the face (er... mask?) from Deidara but Tsukai merely laughed and gave him hug too, patting his back while he whined about Deidara being 'mean'. Extricating herself from Tobi, she then turned to me and offered her arms. Grinning, I squeezed her tight – though she seemed thin and bony to look at, I found that she was surprisingly cuddly. Small but warm and soft.

With the farewells done Tsukai ran after her companions, waving back at us and shouting some last minute reminders. She really was a born medic and I marvelled, not for the first time, at the fact that someone so good could have a twin brother who was such an utter git. Clearly, she got the better deal in the gene department.

"Remember to clean the wound as soon as you reach your hotel! And rub in some of the poultice I prepared earlier. There are plenty of clean bandages in Deidara's pouch, so re-bandage tonight _and_ tomorrow morning!" she called back, her light blonde hair streaming out behind her as she sprinted along the forest path. "Take care!"

And with that last parting sentiment Tsukai was gone, well on her way to wherever with a psycho Priest and the world's biggest misery-guts. Not that I could boast a better arrangement; I was stuck with the original Bomber-man and a hyperactive failure of a criminal.

"I suppose we'd better get going too. On my back, un." Deidara ordered, crouching to let me clamber on. I did as I was told but was most unhappy about it – it made me feel like an invalid to have to be carried everywhere. I wasn't used to feeling so helpless; so totally _not_ in control. It was one of the fundamental instincts Gramps had instilled in me when I was younger – to stand on my own two feet.

In no time at all we were on the move again, Tobi bouncing along beside me and talking excitedly about anything and everything that crossed his mind. At the very least, his incessant chatter helped the journey slip by, though I found his talking to be very reminiscent of the little girl Kizuno, who I'd met the day before I was kidnapped. Speaking of which, I wondered how she was doing. Had she returned to normal after me leaving her in my barrier? The barrier had probably broken the second I was knocked out... I hoped she got home alright. I'd been so out of it that day that I wasn't sure where I'd left her; with any luck she was able to find her way back alone.

During a very rare (and no doubt short) interlude in Tobi's A to Z of useless conversations, I decided to pursue the subject of Tsukai and Hidan's relationship – assuming of course that there was one which, from my point of view, it appeared there was. I had no business snooping about their private affairs but I was curious and extremely bored. If I was right and those two had something going on, it would explain the peculiar behaviour he exhibited around her. It wasn't as obvious in Tsukai, who was kind to everyone anyway, but in that brute it stuck out like a sore thumb. What could I say? I was naturally inquisitive.

"Dei?" I started, shuffling a bit closer to his ear so he could hear me properly.

"Hmm?"

"Do Hidan and Tsukai... I mean are they... partners?" I flailed, trying to express it right without being blunt. I had to remember this was her brother I was dealing with – he may not approve. Or worse, may not even know about it. If that were the case, I didn't want to be the one to clue him in.

"What, un?" he replied, baffled. "No; I _told_ you, Tsukai's not a member of Akatsuki. Kakuzu is Hidan's partner, un."

"You idiot. I didn't mean partners in _crime_." I frowned exasperatedly, smacking his shoulder. Honestly, sometimes I wondered how he even dressed himself in the morning. "I meant... life partners."

You're probably wondering why I didn't just come out and say it. Well, truth be told, I hadn't had much experience in that area of life. At _all_. My time had usually been taken up by ninja training, visiting Gramps or causing trouble with my best friend, Hiroshi. Apart from that, no one in the village had ever taken _that_ kind of interest in me – I just wasn't girlfriend material, I guess. So I actually had the romantic maturity of a three year old. I guess that makes me seem pretty sad at nineteen years old.

"You mean are they 'going out', un?" he verified, amused by my naiveté. For some peculiar reason I found myself becoming pretty jealous with no apparent motive. It was weird, but something in Deidara's mocking tone made me wonder how many girls he'd 'gone out with' before. Immediately, I dismissed the musings. It didn't matter how many girls he'd gone out with; _I_ didn't care.

"Precisely." I said curtly, tempted to reach around and poke him in the eye. He really bugged me with that holier-than-thou, smarty pants attitude of his. One day I was going to put him in his place and then we'd see who was laughing.

"That's a good question, un. The answer is yes and no; their bond is a little more complicated than that, un." Deidara mused, pausing as he chose his next words carefully. He thought long and hard about it, an achievement that I reckoned must have caused him a great deal of pain. Then at last he took a shot at explaining, speaking slowly as though testing the sound of the sentence for authenticity. "They _do_ like each other, un. But there are problems with them getting too involved; obstacles that they find difficult to overcome. For those reasons, they try to just be friends, un."

"What kind of obstacles?" I quizzed, interested by his riddle of an answer. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill! It was a simple enough question – were they or weren't they?

"What, you mean _apart_ from Hidan being a head-case, un?" Deidara chuckled. "There're lots of reasons but most of them stem from the fact that Hidan is immortal and Tsukai isn't. That's a pretty big problem in my book, un."

If he'd been anyone other than Deidara of the Akatsuki, I might have been shocked by his seeming disregard for his sister's love life. I had no siblings myself – no _real_ siblings at least – but Hiroshi was like a brother to me and I knew _I'd_ take an interest if ever he got himself a girlfriend. I'd want to make sure he was taken care of, looked after in the event of... well anything like _this_ happening to me. It was too late to worry about it now, having had my worst fears realised already, but Deidara still had Tsukai – he should want the same for her as I wanted for Hiroshi.

"He's immortal?" I snorted, doubt colouring my tone. "That's impossible. No one is immortal!"

"Hidan is, un." Deidara insisted, deadly serious. He said it with such conviction, such confidence, that I was almost convinced he was telling the truth. Then my common sense caught up with my imagination and I shook my head – it just wasn't possible. _No one _ could live forever. The whole point of _life_, the element that made it so precious, was the fact that it was so short. For someone to be immortal... that went against the very core of existence. Anything that lived, unavoidably had to die. That was just the way things were.

I pointed this out but Deidara simply shrugged, saying that whilst he agreed with me that it was against the laws of nature, it didn't change the fact that Hidan _was_ what he _was_. And what he was, apparently, was indestructible. At my astonished silence Deidara laughed, pointing out smugly that not _everyone_ followed the laws, natural or otherwise. I had no choice but to grudgingly agree – Akatsuki was a living testament to _that_.

"Okay, supposing he _is_ immortal-," I began, scratching my head as I tried to wrap my mind around such an insane concept.

"Which he _is_, un." Deidara interrupted.

"Whatever!" I snapped. "What I was _going_ to say was why doesn't Tsukai become immortal too? Since it's possible for Hidan to live forever, why doesn't Tsukai just do the same?"

"She can't, un." Deidara replied. I frowned, confusion battling with candid incredulity as I attempted to understand. What did he mean, she couldn't? Hidan could so what made it any different for Tsukai? "Actually, to be more specific, she _won't_."

"Won't?" The more he told me, the more convoluted the mystery became. If she really liked Hidan wouldn't she want to be with him no matter what? Regardless of the consequences? Or was I being old fashioned? Was love different nowadays?

"Hidan's immortality comes at a price." Deidara explained calmly. I had a notion that he was enjoying himself – that he was genuinely pleased to be teaching me something. Or more accurately, he was pleased that I was listening to him intently for a change instead of committing every fibre of my being to brawling with him. _Don't get used to it, blondie. _"Tsukai told you he was a Jashinite, right, un? Well I don't know much about it but from what I can gather, Hidan does a ritual sacrifice for his God, Jashin, and in return he gets to live forever. Tsukai... although she cares about Hidan, she would never agree to take someone's life to prolong her own – it goes against her '_moral fibre_' to convert to Jashinism even if it means she could be with that block head, un."

I was horrified. _Ritual WHAT now?_ Now I knew what Hidan had meant when he'd said he was going to 'use me in his ritual'. Just what the hell was I dealing with?! What next?! Was Kakuzu _really_ a zombie? Was Tobi an evil genius?

"Y-you say that like it's a bad thing." I stuttered, internally shivering as I imagined how Hidan had dealt with the villagers who'd imprisoned us. For the first time since our escape I wondered just exactly what state we'd left the village in... and whether there'd been anyone left alive to tell the tale. "Having morals is a good thing."

"Not in this line of work. _Morals_ are a nuisance that could easily get you killed when you're part of the Akatsuki, un." Deidara disagreed. His uncaring attitude had me, once again, worked up into a rage and I quickly pounced on him for it. It irked me that he could be so dispassionate – so _heartless_ – when it came to other people. I hated the way he said _morals,_ as if it were something to be abhorred.

"Compassion is _not_ a weakness!" I growled. "It's the only thing that separates the Shinobi from the monsters; the wrong from the right. How can you act so callous? Are you saying she _should_ become a murdering Jashin-worshipper? Do you _want_ her to be more like _you_?"

"I-," Deidara tried to interject, but I cut him off angrily, getting fired up as I opened my eyes to who – or rather _what_ – the Akatsuki truly was. Murderous, life-destroying _demons_. I'd known it all along really; it was no secret that Akatsuki was evil. But I was seeing that more clearly now than I ever had before. Deidara started to look nervous, knowing that he had successfully unlocked the beast that was my righteous temper. I could see his regret at having said anything in the first place and I drew a sort of pleasure from it; I was going to make him _suffer_.

"Tsukai's right! Immortality isn't worth trading her humanity for!" I shouted, my fury erupting like a volcano. "You Akatsuki make me _sick_. Don't you realise you're toying with people's _lives_?! _Real_ people, with families and friends and people who care about them. What do you think it does to _them_ when you suddenly take one of their loved ones away?!"

"I-," he tried again, but I was having none of it. I was so disgusted, so totally livid, that I didn't want to give him the opportunity to defend himself. I didn't want to listen to him; I didn't want to talk to him; I didn't even want to be _near_ him. At that moment he made my skin crawl and my blood boil – he was cut from the same cloth as the rest of them. He was the _same_.

"You've hurt so many... killed, maimed and tortured innocent people who didn't deserve it." I whispered, too full of rage to even shout anymore. I loosened my arms from around Deidara's neck, the desire to hold on sapping from me faster than water down a drain. "Like... _me_." I breathed bitterly.

Mindless of my healing wounds, I unlocked my legs from Deidara's waist and pushed hard against his back, forcing him to release me. Jumping away from him and wincing as the movement stretched the sensitive skin around the incision, I shot him a look that was simultaneously contemptuous and despondent. He opened his mouth to say something but I held up my hand and shook my head, warning him that I didn't want to hear it. I didn't have the inclination to listen to pathetic excuses or worse, a lecture on how _he_ was right.

Limping slightly, gritting my teeth against the pain, I walked away without looking back. I ignored Tobi's worried complaints about me not being allowed to walk – he revolted me as much a Deidara did – and for the rest of our journey, though it caused me considerable discomfort to do so, I travelled on my own feet.

/\

Naturally, by the time we made it to the next town I was exhausted. My feet throbbed, my head ached and the area around my injury burned. Even so, I had consistently and adamantly refused to accept Deidara's offer of a lift. My stomach couldn't handle such close contact with him yet – I wasn't sure if I'd _ever_ be able to handle it, such was the extent of my animosity for him after our fight.

The journey had been long and hard, taking a great many hours and a lot of effort for me to complete. Several times I'd felt like giving up; just falling to the dust and laying there, letting Deidara and Tobi do with me as they wished. But always I managed to force myself on, the thought of letting either of them _touch_ me jolting me back into action. I didn't speak to them as we travelled, though they'd both tried to coax me out of my dark mood many times... I'd retreated to a corner of myself that no one could reach – certainly not one that any member of Akatsuki could retrieve me from.

As soon as we entered the hotel I disappeared for a bath, locking the door firmly behind me. Soaking in the hot, floral-smelling water gave me time to think; time that I sorely needed. No one disturbed me as I lay relaxing in the tub – I don't think either of them had the guts to be honest. They may have dealt with all sorts of missions, from assassination to espionage, but they'd never had to keep watch over a woman like me before. I was sure it was an experience they'd _never_ forget.

I thought about lots of things as I lay unmoving in the blissful heat. I thought about Hiroshi, with his short, messy, ash brown hair and bright, emerald green eyes. I remembered how his hair would fall in his eyes on windy days and how he'd push it back with a frustrated sigh. I recalled his considerable height, which I'd often teased him about and his naturally devilish smile. I thought about my mother too. She was such a delicate woman... she had a good heart. I pictured her gentle features; her white hair, so like mine; her blue eyes. I wondered how they were doing without me... Had they forgotten me?

The steam from the bathwater curled around me like writhing snakes, sticking in my hair and producing beads of moisture on my clammy flesh. My wound, which I'd unwrapped in order to bathe, was a violent red colour – a new scar for sure – and I hoped it wouldn't get infected. That was the last thing I needed. Delirium in my already delirious world.

"Mizuko, un?"

It was Deidara. I didn't reply, standing rigidly by my new rule of ignoring him completely. I was being childish, I knew. I was making things more difficult than they needed to be. The problem was, I didn't give a damn. He sighed at my silence, my obstinacy testing his patience.

"Tobi left to get us some food. Remember, you've got to use Tsukai's stuff on that wound and it needs to be re-bandaged, un."

I still refused to utter a word, but heaved myself from the water reluctantly. Quickly drying myself and sticking on the strawberry-print PJ's Deidara had 'borrowed' for me, I opened the bathroom door and stalked straight to the largest bed in the corner, which was mine by unspoken agreement. Studiously blanking the Akatsuki bomber, I sprawled out on my back on top of the bed covers, closing my eyes to further employ the 'I'm-Not-Talking-To-You' theme. I heard him sigh again and he moved around a bit, no doubt headed for his own bed where he could leave me to brood in peace.

However, it was _not_ his own bed he'd approached – it was _mine_. Before I could do anything about it he pinned me down, straddling my stomach and using one of his hands to secure my wrists above my head. Eyes flying open in shock, I struggled against him viciously as he pulled my pyjama top up with his other hand to reveal the angry red abrasion on my stomach. Obviously, I wasn't strong enough to throw him off and he acted as if nothing was amiss as he examined it briefly, his fingertips brushing it lightly and causing goosebumps to explode all over my skin. I kicked and wriggled to no avail, receiving a nip from his mouth-hand for my efforts.

"Get off me!" I yelled, flailing under his powerful grip in a pathetic attempt to free myself.

"No." he said coolly, raising his gaze to my face. "You _need_ to hear this, un."

I stopped my fighting, surprised by his seriousness. Taking my halt in aggression as a sign to continue, he watched me closely as he began to speak, his voice soft and non-threatening.

"I never said I wanted Tsukai to abandon her morals; I _don't_ want that. You might find it hard to believe but I _don't_ want her to be like me, un. I never wanted her involved with Akatsuki and I definitely didn't want her to like Hidan, of all people. If I offended you, I'm... sorry, un." he apologised, his face scrunching as if it caused him physical pain to do so – plainly he wasn't used to using the 's' word. He bent down close to my ear, whispering softly and causing me to shudder involuntarily. "Am I forgiven, un?"

I shook my head vehemently, desperate not to let his tricks get to me. I wouldn't forgive him. I'd _never_ forgive him... And yet resisting was becoming strenuous. He chuckled – he knew as well as I did that I couldn't fight much longer. He'd won. _Again. _

"Why not?" he purred. I could feel him smirk, the smug air of victory radiating from him already. _Cheating git!_

"B-because... you're Akatsuki..." I mumbled.

"So, un?"

And although I _really_ wanted to argue, I couldn't. I didn't have an answer for him. I didn't have the presence of mind to come up with one either. He laughed quietly and released my arms, digging around in his sleeve for something. A second later he pulled out Tsukai's parcel. I reached for it but he jerked it away, shaking a finger back and forth and smiling slyly.

"Ah, ah, ah. _I'll_ do it, un." he grinned, pulling bandages from his hip-bag and opening the little package to expose a foul-smelling green paste.

"I can do it myself." I grumbled, sour that he'd beaten me. Sour that he _always _beat me...

"You walked here when you weren't supposed to, un. Think of it as a punishment."

Taking no notice of my protests he scooped some of the cream onto his fingers and started rubbing it into the gash, being as careful as he could. His hands were soft as they worked the lotion in, showing abnormal tenderness as he skirted the most inflamed areas. When he was done with my stomach he made me roll onto my back, applying the same uncharacteristic care as he treated the entry point of the villager's pitchfork. I rested my head on the bed, enjoying – in spite of myself – the sensation of his ministrations on back.

"You cheater," I murmured, growing sleepy from Deidara's massage. Done with the application of Tsukai's poultice, his hands moved progressively up my back to my shoulders, strategically unknotting my tense muscles as he went. He chortled, amused by my accusation.

"You're a strange girl, Mizuko, un" he said conversationally, exerting pressure on a particularly sensitive area and making me groan, half from pain and half from irritation.

"You're one to talk Mr I've-Got-Mouths-In-My-Hands. And watch the bruises, will you? That hurt." I scowled.

"Sit up; I need to put your bandage on, un." he ordered, ignoring me and standing himself, grabbing a roll of fresh dressing as he went. He wrapped the material around me three times before tying it off and stepping back to admire his handiwork. Nodding in satisfaction, Deidara returned the remaining rolls to his bag and sat on the edge of his bed, directly opposite me. He studied me silently, that spark of fascination that I'd come to discern so easily these days in his eye.

"You don't act the same as everyone else. You've never seemed _afraid_, un." he observed. _Hah! Shows what you know!_ I'd been afraid more times than I could count – on some level, I was afraid even now. I just hid it better than most, my stupidity acting as a natural barrier to any kind of visible fear. "You've never begged or pleaded... It's weird, un."

"Well excuse _me_ for having a spine." I remarked. _Better weird than a coward_, I thought.

"Close your eyes, un." he said, completely out of the blue. I glanced at him, expecting him to laugh or tell me he was kidding. On the contrary, his face was completely straight.

"Why?" I frowned, cocking my head in confusion.

"Just do it, un."

Suspicious and hesitant, I did as he asked, shutting my eyes and pondering what he could possibly have planned that required me to close my eyes. I didn't have to wait long to find out.

I'd been blind for only a few seconds when I felt something velvety, moist and warm on my lips. Stunned, my eyes flew open and I saw Deidara up close and _very _personal. His eyes were open, watching my reaction closely and I froze, at a loss as to how I should deal with the current situation I found myself in. Should I push him away? Part of me answered with a resounding _yes_ but another part – insanely enough – was averse to that course of action. What to do, what to do?

I won't deny that it was a pleasant feeling, Deidara's lips on mine. It sent a trill of electrical excitement through me that fizzed in my every cell. His breath mingled with mine and I could taste... hmm. I didn't know _what_ I could taste. It was very sweet, like a mixture of honey and maple syrup but not quite. It didn't have as hard an edge... And there was something else; a hint of lemon.... or was it lime? All in all, it was an intoxicating combination.

Without meaning to I returned his kiss, moving my mouth ever so slightly to accommodate him – nothing fancy, just a small adjustment here and there so that his mouth fitted mine better. My eyes fluttered closed again and we held the moment for what felt like hours. I was content to let it continue forever and we might very well have stayed like that all night... If not for Tobi, who chose that precise second to walk in. Expert timing as always.

"Senpai, Tobi brought us some Ra...men?" Tobi trailed off, his voice taking a higher pitch towards the end in his astonishment. As soon as he'd opened the door, Deidara and I had broken apart. Unfortunately we weren't fast enough and now Tobi stood awkwardly, staring at us in puzzlement, having witnessed enough to know what had transpired. Embarrassed, I stood and dashed from the room, passing Tobi with my head bent in shame. I ran down the hotel stairs without a care for my inappropriate state of dress, not stopping until I was safely outside.

Standing in the gentle breeze – which cooled my burning cheeks effectively – I stared at the stars high above my head, affronted by what seemed like an impossible incident. _I _cannot_ believe that just happened. What the hell is the matter with me?!_ I leaned back on the hotel wall and brushed a hand through my still damp hair, running over the events again and again in my mind and cursing myself profusely. Why hadn't I pushed him away? Why had I returned the kiss? Why had he kissed me in the first place?

The truth was I didn't know. I couldn't answer any of the questions my brain continued to ask and I had a feeling that even if I could, I wouldn't like what I came up with. If there was one thing I _did_ know, it was that this could only mean trouble. Whatever happened after this day could lead to nothing good.

"Mizuko? Is that _you_?!"

My heart stopped and I gasped. That voice, more familiar to me than my own, made my breath stick in my throat painfully. I turned slowly, afraid that if I rushed things I'd be proven wrong; that I'd have mistaken what my ears told me I'd heard so clearly. I prayed I was right – that it wasn't just some cruel trick of my mind. _Please... Let it be true..._

My eyes widened, tears forming in them instantly. It _was_ true! I couldn't remember ever having been so happy as I faced the owner of the voice that had sparked such excitement in me. All thoughts of mine and Deidara's kiss evaporated, my heart too full of a joy that caused me physical pain to worry about something so trivial. Wasting no time I sprinted forward, launching myself at the subject of my delight with little regard anything else.

"Hiroshi!" I cried, tears falling down my face as they'd never fallen before. As unbelievable as it seemed, my best friend – my _blood brother –_ was here, in _this_ backwater town. Such an occurrence proved, once and for all, that the good were ultimately rewarded in the end.

**Another chapter done and dusted. Bet you didn't expect THAT! Lol. As always, thank you all for the many reviews I've received for this story – your feedback is much appreciated. If you have time, review this chapter and tell me your thoughts on it, whether they're negative, positive or somewhere in the middle. All opinions are welcome! ^_^**


	15. Crossing Lines And Playing Dirty

There comes a time in every person's life when everything they have ever believed in, everything they have lived by, coalesces to one monumental point in the time-line of their existence. Whether or not you understood what I just said is neither here nor there, but know this if you know nothing else; there is _always _hope. No matter how dire a situation becomes there is hope. That is the belief I lived by before my kidnapping; the belief I had slowly but surely been losing faith in in the months since that time. But for me, the time of coalition had come and I found my heart beating with renewed devotion for my ways. My philosophy rung clear and true and I knew I'd been _given_ something – for all my hardships I had finally been rewarded.

Standing across the way, staring at me with the same shocked wonder that I could feel morphing my own features, was one of the people from my past who I'd seen only in dreams in the dark months since my capture. His hair, ash brown and a mop if their ever was one, fell into his piercing azure eyes as he blinked repeatedly, mind denying what his sight told him was true. His face, though thinner than I remembered, still held a hint of that childish roundness that I loved and his skin was still that fascinating combination of apricot and cream; skin too pretty to belong to a man, as I often teased him. He wore the typical steel-grey, three quarter length trousers and matching jacket that made up his day to day attire, the jacket sporting a thick black band around his upper arms and across his shoulder blades, unzipped as usual to reveal his subtly muscled chest under the mesh shirt beneath. At at least a foot taller than me he was hard to miss and there, tied around his left upper arm over the black band, was the Hidden Waterfall headband which marked him as a ninja of our village. But I barely registered any of this; it was irrelevant at present.

"Hiroshi!" I wailed, tears falling unstoppably in a torrent that threatened to engulf my fragile composure. It was unbelievable – _impossible_ – that he could be here, in the middle of one of my darkest nightmares like a knight in shining armour. And yet he was. I could touch his face, feel his breath on the crown of my head as I squeezed him with as much strength as I could muster. He was _real_. All the horrible things that had happened to me seemed like nothing now that I was safely enfolded in my best friend's arms.

"M-Mi-Mizuko?" he stammered, holding me against him as if I were a wraith about to vanish before his very eyes. I laughed, clutching him like a life preserver. He was _here_. Right _here_, beside me. Nothing could take such a wondrous moment from me. Akatsuki? Hah! Let them come! They way _I_ felt, I could take the whole bloody lot of them on!

"H-Hiro-sh-shi!" I stuttered between sobs. There was so much I wanted to say; so much I had to tell him. Where did I even _begin_ to explain what I'd been through? How could I share the trauma? I looked up into his eyes and saw a cocktail of relief, confusion and joy in the pits of his sky blue eyes. Grinning at him, still gasping from our emotional reunion, I took a step back and quickly wiped my eyes.

"Mizuko...? Where have you _been_?" he asked excitedly, the initial shock of finding me wearing off at last. "We – the village, I mean – we've been looking for you for _ages_. When you didn't come back we thought you'd been killed or something. I came here looking for your corpse!"

"I've missed you so much!" I cried, talking fast in my euphoria and – at least for the time being – ignoring his questions. "You wouldn't _believe_ what's been happening to me while I've been gone! I have so much to tell you!"

We talked breathlessly for an untold measure of time, speaking over one another and not _really_ absorbing anything that was said. For me, I wanted to say as much as I could, _tell_ him as much as I could, before I was snatched from this moment of brilliance once more as I knew I would be in time. But for Hiroshi I think it was more like the first chat in a long series of chats to come that would all revolve around my absence.

"C'mon." Hiroshi said when we both lapsed into a contented silence, pulling my hand in the direction of a ramen bar. "You can tell me all about your adventures over dinner; I'm starved!"

I chuckled at his typical antics; good old Hiroshi! Always thinking about his stomach! It was really no wonder he was so tall.

/\

"So," Hiroshi began through a mouthful of ramen. I slurped at my own bowl, watching him over the the rim with a somewhat disbelieving pleasure. I still couldn't quite take it in. How could Hiroshi, _my_ Hiroshi, possibly have found me in a town so far from home with (as far as I was aware) little or no evidence to indicate that I even existed anymore. I was certain that Akatsuki always covered their tracks well which meant that they'd covered mine too. How on Earth had he found me?!

"So?" I prompted, picking up a juicy piece of boiled chicken with my chopsticks and lobbing it in my mouth. It was chewy and tender and _exactly_ what my growling stomach needed – all the excitement had stirred up my appetite like you wouldn't believe!

"Where have you been all this time? We thought you'd been killed. There was even some talk that... that you'd betrayed us." he finished quietly, his absolute misery at such a thought obvious in his tone and face. I realised that until he found me, he'd desperately hoped he was going to find my dead body. To him, anything was preferable to me abandoning the village; abandoning _him_.

I reached a hand across the table to touch his face, cradling his cheek in my palm. I hated seeing that look on his face. That look of utter loneliness; of betrayal. He'd worn it all the time as a child, before we became friends. He was always alone back then. His parents had died in a freak accident in the forest and he had no other relatives. No one had spoken to him; no one had cared.

_/ – Flash Back – \_

_ "Come back, little butteryfly!" I squealed chasing the brightly coloured, fluttering butterfly into the woods. I only wanted to play with it but every time I tried it would stretch it's pretty wings and flutter away. I thought it might be scared of me – after all I was so much bigger than it was. But I was only five; I wasn't even a proper ninja yet!_

_ I stumbled over a knobbly tree root and landed hard on my face, eating some of the mucky mud by mistake. I was always doing that. Gramps said I could fall over on a flat surface and I thought so too. But it wasn't _my_ fault. The world was squint so of _course_ I was going to fall over! Whenever I fell it was because the world was rolling over._

_ Getting to my feet shakily, I tried to spot the little butterfly but it was gone. Then I realised I was in a part of the forest that mommy always warned me never to go to alone, because there was foxes and wolves and even _bears _in it. So she said anyway. But I'd caught mummy out before – she'd said daddy would come back from his special ninja mission but... he never did. She might be lying about the foxes too._

_ But wait! What was that I just heard?! In the quiet woods where I should only hear the birds singing and the grass waving and the wind talking, I'd just heard something strange that didn't belong. Gramps had taught me a little ninja trick last week that he called 'Listening without listening' and I think that's what helped me notice the strange snuffly sound. His thingy... was it called a tekinik? Anyway, it works without me having to do anything and it helps me know all the sounds around me and if there's a bad sound, I hear it right away. I think... I couldn't use it right yet. _

_ There it was again! A sniffling noise like the sound I made when I cried. And it was coming from close by! I dashed in the direction of the sniffle noises, hoping that I might get to see a real live fox. That would be amazing! And just wait till I told Gramps; he'd be so impressed with me for using his tekinik. _

_ Super fast, I burst through the tree line into a huge clearing that was... well, clear. It was full of pretty flowers and in the middle there was a sparkly lake. I looked up and I could see the blue, blue sky and the birds flying through it, looking for their breakfast. _It must be a special place,_ I thought, nodding at my cleverness. All the trees knew not to grow here and their branches are careful not to block out the flowers' sky._

_ As I looked around the special clearing I heard the fox snuffle again; it was close by! But I couldn't see the fluffy red fur of a fox. The only living thing in the clearing apart from me was a little boy standing by the lake and looking at something I couldn't see. Shrugging, I went to the boy thinking that I would ask him to play with me – Gramps was away on a mission today and I had nothing else to do._

_ "Hi there!" I said brightly, tapping the boy on his shoulder. "I'm Mizuko. Do you wanna play with..."_

_ I stopped, frowning. The boy had turned around and I could see his face now. He had big sky blue eyes and soft, chubby-looking cheeks, like a little teddy bear. His skin was a creamy pink, his hair a dark brown colour and I thought that over all he was quite cute. But that wasn't what had me so surprised. He was _crying_. Big fat tears fell from his eyes in rivers and he sniffed sadly, looking at me distrustfully as if I was a bad person come to take him away._

_ "What do you want?" he hiccuped harshly, his eyebrows coming down in a mean glare. I was stunned by his anger at me, even though we'd just met and I hadn't really done anything wrong. _

_ "I just wanted... to know if you wanted to play with me." I told him, watching as his face scrunched up and more tears fell from his eyes. Why was he so sad? I wanted to ask him but mommy had always told me it was impolite to ask personal questions. And I had a feeling that he wouldn't want to tell _me_ anyway. _

_ His eyes narrowed suspiciously at me, as if he thought I was going to run away laughing at him any second. I recognised him from somewhere... I don't know how but I _did_ and I tried to puzzle it out as he continued to study me closely. Obviously he was from the same village as me; no one outside the Village Hidden in the Waterfall knew how to get into this part of the forest because it was inside the village gates. Was that it? Had I seen him around the village before? But that didn't sound right. I'd remember him for sure if I'd seen him before. That meant only one thing then..._

_ "You and I are meant to be friends." I smiled at the boy, taking his hand and pulling him towards the flowers. But to my surprise, the boy pulled his hand away from me and glared at me shiftily, rubbing his hand where I'd touched him as if he'd been burned. I cocked my head and frowned worriedly at him – didn't he hear me right? I'd said it clearly enough so why wouldn't he play with me? I dropped my hand to my side and itched the back of my leg with my other foot, waiting for him to say something._

_ I _knew_ I was supposed to be friends with this strange boy – mommy had told me once that there are people in the world who are _meant_ to be together. People who are _meant_ to find each other. She says that sometimes they were friends, other times they were something more, but always they were connected by unbreakable bonds. And when those people met, they knew it without being told it; they were soul mates. This boy was _my_ soul mate and I knew it like I knew the sky was blue. So why was he acting this way?_

_ "I don't have any friends. Or family. Or anyone." he hissed. He said it in a horrible way but I decided to let him off with that for now. No friends? No family? Now I knew why he was crying – I'd cry too if I were him._

_ "_I'm_ your friend." I insisted, taking the boy's hand again and holding on tight when he tried to pull away again. There were tears in my own eyes now because I could feel how lonely he was. I looked deep into his sky blue orbs to let him know I meant what I was saying. He looked back in confusion and his hand became loose in my grip as he stopped struggling, using his other hand to wipe away the tears on his cheeks._

_ "How do you know?" he asked quietly. _

_ I couldn't hold them in anymore; the tears I'd been trying to hold back fell like rain and I threw myself at the boy, hugging him around the middle as we both fell into the thick grass. He let out a startled 'oof' as we landed and I think I sprained my wrist but I didn't care. He needed someone to love him. To show him he was cared for and he was worth something._

_ "B-because!" I sniffed, hugging him really tightly like I was trying to break his bones. "I just know. When a person finds their soul mate, they know it deep inside."_

_ He sat there for a minute as I held onto him like a leech, thinking my words over. Then, at last, he hugged me back, crying again. This time I knew he wasn't sad though – he was happy. He was happy because I'd found him and because we were friends and he wasn't alone now. The grass blew around us as the wind whispered all sorts of secrets and the blue sky above was blotted out by fluffy white clouds that danced through the air. Then the boy spoke and I smiled._

_ "I'm Hiroshi."_

/\

Childish fantasies aside, Hiroshi was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Since that day we had been inseperable, always playing together in that glade that we nicknamed 'Our Place' and playing tricks on the other kids in our class when we were singled out because of our differences. We'd grown up like a brother and sister and when we graduated from the Academy we were put on the same squad, along with our other friend, Naoku. We were the perfect team... And as much as it would pain me to tell him so, he would have to leave this place the same way he came; _alone_. There was simply no way he could hope to rescue me himself – for all his idiocy, Deidara was a surprisingly adept ninja the likes of which neither Hiroshi or I could ever hope to defeat. Even fighting together I doubted we'd get out of the village before my captors swooped down on us. And what worried me was the fact that, although _I'd_ survive the ordeal, Hiroshi definitely wouldn't. I _couldn't_ allow him to die in a doomed effort to save me.

"Betray you?" I asked softly at last, rubbing my thumb over Hiroshi's cheek like a mother comforting her child. "I could no more betray you than I could hit a moving target; and you _know_ how bad my aim is."

"_What_ then?" he exclaimed desperately, grabbing for my hand and holding it anxiously between both of his. His familiar blue eyes disclosed his terror, a terror that nothing I said or did tonight would be able to assuage. He was my best friend after all; I couldn't lie to him. I would tell him about my captivity. I would tell him what I'd been through. And then I would tell him to leave. That was what he feared the most, I knew. Losing me again. But it couldn't be helped – I _needed_ backup and he was my only chance of getting it.

So I told him. I told him everything, from the false base I'd uncovered to my escape attempts, my hospitalisation to my time in the clumsy care of Deidara and Tobi. The only thing I left out was the kiss of about an hour ago – that was something I doubted even Hiroshi could understand. Or forgive me for. He listened keenly for the most part, emitting a shocked gasp here and there when I went into the more grizzly details of my failed escapes but otherwise reserving his judgement until I'd finished. Throughout my tale I'd slurp hungrily at my ramen in-between sentences, savouring the tangy taste on my tongue and thanking the heavens it wasn't smoked fish, stale rice balls or dry bread again. This was _real_ food!

"So there you have it." I finished, placing my chopsticks neatly beside my bowl and postponing the minute when I knew I'd have to look up again. I didn't want to meet Hiroshi's horrified gaze – I knew what I'd see without having to confirm it. And I could feel his guilt too, though he'd had nothing to do with it. He felt dreadful for not being there for me, to save me from a fate that in his eyes was worse than death. I knew this because that's how _I'd_ have felt if our roles were reversed.

"Mizuko..." he whispered, either unwilling or unable to express himself adequately. I looked up and grinned casually, trying to brush it off flippantly. His jaw was clenched and his expression hard, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach I knew exactly what he was going to say. Lowering my gaze again I waited patiently for him to continue, piecing together as gentle a response as I was capable of. However, being the emotional cripple that I was, it was pretty certain I wouldn't handle such a task well.

"Mizuko, we have to go. Right now; we need to get away before they come looking for you." he asserted, moving to stand and searching surreptitiously for an enemy I knew he wouldn't find. If by chance Deidara and Tobi found us and decided to attack, we would neither see nor hear it coming. Hiroshi would be killed before we could guess what was going on and the absolute certainty of that frightened me – for all our effectiveness as a team we were still no match for an Akatsuki.

"You're right," I said evenly, standing myself and walking around the table to give him what could very well be the last hug he'd ever receive from me. His body tensed and I knew he'd figured out what my intentions were through my actions. He tried to move back and examine me but I held on, not wanting him to see the water pooling around the corners of my golden eyes – he deserved to think I was stronger than that, that I knew what I was doing. "_You_ have to get out of here before they come for me. Keep masking your chakra or they'll sense you and leave quickly. I want you to go back to the village and get back up. Tell them what I just told you and come back with reinforcements."

"No, Mizuko! I can't just leave you here! We'll go back together." he insisted. I shook my head, a small, sad smile playing at my lips though it never reached my eyes. He was being foolish; letting his feelings cloud his judgement. Hiroshi _knew_ I was talking sense but he didn't want to listen because it meant leaving me to the mercy of my Akatsuki kidnappers. But there was no other way because we could not now nor would we ever in the foreseeable future, be able to take on a member of the deadly gang alone.

"You have to and you know it," I said rather more harshly than I'd intended to. His face took on a hurt look and even though I knew this was for the best, I felt guilty. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, acutely aware that Deidara or Tobi could turn up at any second and silently grateful that I'd thought to warn him to conceal his chakra signature earlier, I continued in a kinder tone, trying to force him to see what was already so clear to me. "We _can't_ beat them, Hiroshi. No, let me finish." I cut him off as he opened his mouth to object. "I _know_ them; I know their strength, their _speed_... and I know we can't match even one of them at our current level. Trust me, I've _tried_ escaping and nothing works. It doesn't matter how fast I run, how well I hide, how expertly I use my Jutsu, they _always_ beat me. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because they need me for something; but that won't save _you_. They'd kill you without hesitation and then where would I be? I'd have no chance of escape ever and I'd have to face an execution after they take whatever it is they want. So you have to go back and bring help or we'll both die meaningless deaths."

He mulled over my heavy words miserably, battling between what he knew was right by logic and what was right by him. He didn't want to leave me here and God knew I didn't want him to leave me either. It wasn't just the fact that I missed my home and my life – which had until recent events been fairly normal – that made me long to flee into the night with Hiroshi; it was also what had happened earlier with Deidara. I was afraid of what it could mean and what might happen if I stayed any longer. I mean I'd _kissed_ him for goodness sake! What did that make me? What did that say about me? It made me sick to think about it and my stomach turned at the thought of what Hiroshi's reaction would be to a discovery like that. Things were getting freaky and I desperately wanted to return to my village before lines were crossed that could never be uncrossed. But for that to happen I needed my village's assistance.

At last he sighed, giving into the rational sense that I spoke. I smiled, thoroughly relieved by his decision, and together we walked to the edge of the little town, talking about this and that, remembering and joking while the dark cloud of our imminent separation hung over our heads ominously. He told me that Naoku, our quiet, reserved team mate and voice of wisdom when it came to missions, had been the one who convinced Lord Shibuki to let Hiroshi look for me. I laughed at that, thinking how so like him it was – Naoku was always the one to handle the diplomacy in our squad. I'd often thought that this aspect of him was the reason he'd made Jounin already while Hiroshi and I plodded behind him as Chuunin.

I paused in our light banter to remember our third member briefly. Though he wasn't nearly as close to me as Hiroshi, I still cherished him as a precious friend and ally, trusting him with my life as I knew he trusted me with his. Naoku was as strange in appearance as I, if not more so with his peculiar royal-blue hair which tumbled down his back in long, beautiful, silky-straight tresses, all of it one length with no fringe or bangs or particular style to speak of. His eyes were somewhat enigmatic, so dark they bordered on being completely black and holding a spark of intelligence that quite frankly scared the pants off me. Most of the girls in our village found him attractive and I suppose, since there's no harm in admitting it to myself, I thought so too. He had a delicate elegance about him that appealed to my romantic side and his small, understated physique belied an incredible strength that even I, as his team mate, found hard to believe. Pale skin, a heart-shaped face and a deceivingly feminine overall appearance, he was like some mystical prince from the stories I'd read as a girl. But for all that, there was something in his stoic composure and clever eyes that made me feel like he was plotting my imminent downfall.

"Hey, Mizuko?" Hiroshi asked suddenly, frowning as he noticed something that apparently disturbed him. I cocked my head and grunted to show him I was listening, my heart fluttering fearfully as the town scenery melded into the deep green and brown of the forest, a place that for all intents and purposes was forbidden to me in my incarceration. "Where's your headband?" he quizzed, prodding my forehead where the Waterfall protector should have been.

I rubbed my head where he'd poked me, noticing for the first time that my headband was nowhere to be seen. The realisation hit me like a physical blow, knocking the wind from me; it was as though I'd just discovered that a vital chunk of me was missing. How hadn't I noticed it before? How could I have been so totally unaware of the absence of something that had been an essential part of my life before now?

"I... uh, guess I left it behind along with my ninja gear on the night of my snatching." I muttered, trying to hide just how hurt I was by such an overlook. I should have challenged Deidara's decision to leave all my stuff... but at the time I just hadn't thought. I'd thought I was lucky to still be breathing and there'd always been that deep seated knowledge that my weapons were useless to me now anyway. But my headband was a different story – it was a symbol of belonging, an insignia of the trials I'd been through to become who I was today. I may be a pitiful excuse for a Shinobi but I _was_ a Shinobi nonetheless. My forehead protector was the only thing I had that proved that; without it my identity was lost.

Seeing my distress as only a best friend could, Hiroshi appraised me quietly before sighing, shaking his head in a gesture that said 'you're hopeless'. Slowly, deliberately, he untied his own headband from around his upper arm and handed it to me, smirking as I accepted it and held it as if it were sacred. Ninja didn't give up their headbands lightly – they simply meant too much, had too much history for even a Genin to consider it. So this token of giving me his headband meant _a lot_.

"Hiroshi... Thank you!" I cried, throwing my arms around his neck – with difficulty due to his extra height – in a crushing embrace. He returned my hold enthusiastically, stroking the back of my head in what I came to realise was a comforting way though he was probably trembling inside at the thought of leaving without me. I patted his back, knowing that he needed consolation more than I did.

Reluctantly, I pushed him away after just a few sweet seconds and steered him to the edge of the forest. It was time for him to go; this was the way it had to be if I'd ever have a chance of getting free. He hesitated on the border of the leafy sanctuary, looking back at me with a measure of remorse, but I shooed him on. Smiling brightly to bolster his courage, I waved, calling this and that to him as he sluggishly vanished into the cool, thick foliage.

"Say hi to Naoku for me! And tell my mom that I miss her and I love her. And tell Lord Shibuki to hurry his ass up and send my rescue!" I shouted, Hiroshi's back disappearing as he hit running speed and raced away to secure my liberation. Even though I knew it was for the best my heart still sank horribly as he left my life again, perhaps for the last time. After all, who knew whether he'd even be able to find me again? Akatsuki could cover their tracks well and the only reason he'd found me this time was luck, plain and simple. But at least I had hope now which was more than I'd had an hour ago. And I would cling to that hope with everything I had, securing it in my soul and keeping it alive within me, come what may.

Little by little I tore my gaze from the darkened forest and ambled back to the town, clutching Hiroshi's headband in my fist like a lifeline. In truth it _was_ my lifeline – it was the only thing that proved our meeting had ever taken place and I knew I'd need that in the days to come. I'd need this substantial link to my best friend to reaffirm the seemingly impossible promise of freedom it represented.

I paused as I reached the outskirts of the town, holding the headband to my chest and closing my eyes briefly. There was no way I could put it on; Deidara wasn't _that_ stupid. He would know I'd been in contact with a Waterfall nin the second he saw it. But... I wouldn't feel right abandoning it. I wanted it with me, _near_ me, because as childish as it seems, it made made me feel just a tiny bit better. Having it close reminded me not to lose faith just yet. So... if I couldn't have it on my forehead... and I didn't want to leave it behind... maybe...

I rolled my sleeve up and wrapped the headband around the middle of my arm, tying it off firmly to minimise the added girth to my limb. That wouldn't be a problem when I got my clothes back since the sleeves on my yakuta top were wide and deep enough to disguise the padding caused by the band, but while I was stuck in my PJ's it could cause a problem. Especially if Deidara and I happened to get too close again...

_NO!_ I admonished myself, pulling the pyjama sleeve back down and inspecting my handiwork with a critical eye. _That is _not_ going to happen again. I can't let anything like that happen again._ Notwithstanding my defiant and fairly resolute promises to myself, part of me quivered with primal excitement at the thought of allowing a repeat performance of the events earlier this evening. I quashed those imaginings immediately and decided such thoughts and feelings were better left unexamined.

The sleeve covered the headband nicely, hiding all but it's most prominent bulges on my forearm. Unless either Deidara or Tobi were looking for it specifically, I doubted they'd notice, and until the morning it would be more than sufficient. Unbidden and certainly unwanted, I started to wonder if they'd started looking for me yet. I couldn't sense their chakra anywhere but that didn't mean a damn thing – I had no doubt those two were as capable of concealing their chakra signatures as Hiroshi and I were. Considering their hugely superior ranks and abilities, probably even more so. I sighed as I pictured what Deidara would say if they caught me out here, so close to the edge of town. I'd be in _so_ much trouble...

So with a final glance in the direction Hiroshi had left in, I made my way back to the hotel, praying that when I got there they'd have the decency to avoid asking me any difficult questions – though it was unlikely that Tobi would adhere to that, being the curious man-child he was. He'd probably want to know where I was and why and he'd pester me until I told him. However, as far as _they_ knew I was simply embarrassed about the whole kiss thing and for Hiroshi's protection, that's the story I would stick to.

/\

"Mizuko!"

I should have expected as much, but as soon as I set foot in the hotel room I was accosted by none other than Tobi. I accepted his clumsy hug with grace and waited resignedly for the questions I _knew_ would come, all the while looking over his shoulder with difficulty, owing to his height advantage. Casting a hasty eye over our room, I tried my best to be sly and spotted what I was looking for instantly – Deidara, lounging serenely on his bed with his hands behind his head, eyes closed and his left leg balanced on his upraised right knee. He didn't move when I entered the room and I thought he might actually be asleep, relaxed as he was on the comfortable looking bed. That is, until he opened his icy blue eyes and looked directly at me with a smug amusement that made my already harassed heart skip a beat.

I'd determined long before returning that my story for being gone so long was nothing more than sheer humiliation at the somewhat awkward position Deidara and I had been caught in earlier. As it turned out, I didn't have to work _too_ hard to produce an authentic-looking blush – the second the blonde's eyes locked with mine, I turned an impressive shade of crimson. Pathetic as I felt for letting myself look like a simpering teenager just because he _looked_ at me, I allowed the red to spread over my features unchecked. After all, better the mortification of my exposed dirty little secret than the death of one of the most important people in my life.

"Why did you run away, Mizuko?" Tobi asked in his usual tactless, ingenuous way. Not to be outdone by his partner, Deidara jumped in with a caustically charming quip of his own – though unlike Tobi's, _his_ held a purposefully malignant humour about it – grinning from ear to ear as I squirmed beneath their undivided attention.

"Yeah, Mizuko. Why'd you run off, un?" he chuckled cruelly, taking a sadistic pleasure from my obvious discomfort. Tobi couldn't have seen it, too busy was he with strangling the life out of me in a bone-crushing bear hug, but along with his decidedly evil grin Deidara treated me to a suggestive wink which did nothing for my unhealthy complexion. _Jerk!_

"I, uh, needed some fresh air. And some time alone." I mumbled, pushing Tobi away. His close proximity was suffocating and to be quite frank, I'd already kissed _one_ murderous criminal today – I had no desire to top that figure.

Bypassing the self-righteous fool perched on the bed, I cautiously made my way to my own bed in the corner near the window, gripping my newly acquired headband self-consciously as I told myself over and over that I'd be okay; that I was _going_ to be saved. Saved from death; saved from pain; _saved_. And as I crawled under the thick and slightly putrid smelling quilt, it kind of helped. I was feeling better... better than I'd felt in a long time. I curled on my side, my back to the two men occupying the room with me, and waited for sleep to claim me – perhaps even one that wouldn't be fitful and laced with the blackest of nightmares.

I heard the two Akatsuki stir in the room behind me, wisely choosing to leave me alone instead of pursuing the matter. I was grateful for this as the memory of the kiss was hard enough on me without them repeatedly bringing it up. And gradually, as time trudged by with the knowledge that each second brought me closer to rescue, I fell into a slumber. It wasn't peaceful, as I'd hoped, and it certainly didn't make me feel rested or replenished as sleep _should, _but it was at the very least a thin barrier between me and the two criminals who I was already far too close to for comfort.

/\

The next morning brought with it a mixture of various feelings and emotions – so many in fact, that I had a hard time picking them apart. On the one hand I was impatient for Hiroshi to return and yet at the same time petrified of him or anyone else getting hurt in the process of releasing me. On the other I was so unbelievably happy that I thought I might burst – just the thought that I might still have a chance made the coil of excitement in my belly threaten to burst. And then there was the _other_ feelings... the ones that I didn't want to admit to. Like my irrational fondness for Tobi and Tsukai... and the whole jumble of sentiments I had for a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, troublemaking ninja. Made no better, I can tell you, by the less than innocent dream I'd just dragged myself from where he was... the main attraction, shall we say.

My cheeks burned as figments of my night-time fantasy crept across the backs of my eyelids, bringing with them a delicious pleasure and gut-crunching guilt at the same time. I knew I shouldn't be thinking that way, least of all about _him,_ but I couldn't help it. The dream had been fairly vivid and I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't at all enjoyed it; just as I'd be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed our fraternizing yesterday either. But after some intense internalisation I came to the conclusion that my unwilling indulgence in the situation was nothing to worry about. I mean I was only human, right? _And_ I was a teenager – that meant my hormones were all over the place! It was only natural that a young girl like me would be attracted to someone like Deidara, right? I knew he was a dangerous psycho but that just added to the excitement really, so _I_ couldn't be held responsible for what my adolescent body told me I wanted, could I? As long as I didn't act on my silliness or allow Deidara to pull another stunt, everything would be fine!

Lazily, I rolled onto my side and peeled my eyes open, hissing as the harsh light stung like needles against my sleep-heavy pupils. The room was empty, the window behind me casting a stark shaft of early morning sunshine on the unoccupied, unmade bed that Deidara had slept on and the floor upon which I had no doubt Tobi had rested for the night. I was neither surprised nor bothered by my lack of supervision. Arrogant jerks that they were, they _knew_ they could catch me easily if I took this opportunity to make a break for it – not that I _would_ seeing as it was unnecessary now. Besides, I was glad for the peace and quiet.

Taking this rare opportunity to go about my business away from prying eyes, I hauled my feet over the edge of the bed and set them on the icy floor. I winced, the cold taking me by surprise, but otherwise made no other move as I tried to rouse myself properly. The room was messy, much more so than when I'd turned in for the night. Empty coffee and ramen cups littered the floor, the left overs from yesterday's dinner and today's breakfast (which the dirty buggers had without me!), and a pile of blankets sat sadly in the space between mine and Deidara's beds – also known as Tobi's bed. With a shrug I ambled to the bathroom; I'd tidy up when I was done in the bath.

Although I'd have thoroughly enjoyed a long, hot bath, I was really only in for half an hour – the thought of the mess back in the bedroom prevented me from fully relaxing and besides, I was starving. Wrapping a towel around my dripping form, I wandered back into the room in search for my clothes which, it only occurred to me _now, _had been given to the hotel's maid for washing. _Great._

After a few frantic moments spent searching for them in the hopes that they'd already been returned, I was forced to admit defeat – wherever my clothes _were_ they weren't here. Now what? Should I put my pyjamas back on? I shuddered at the thought; gross! Put those sweaty, smelly, not to mention _stolen_ PJ's back on? No thanks. But what then? I couldn't very well hang around in just a towel until my clothes were returned. What if Deidara or Tobi came back and saw me like that? It was too embarrassing to bear thinking about.

Naturally, in keeping with my run of rotten luck, Deidara chose _this_ moment to walk in. I saw the handle turn a fraction of a second before the door actually opened, and registered a second of shock and frustration before he stepped over the threshold carrying a parcel wrapped in brown paper and string. I knew what would be in the package – after all disgrace wouldn't be disgrace without a hint of irony – and I bit my tongue to keep from swearing. Sometimes I wondered if fate had any mercy at all.

"Yo, Mizuko! Wake up, un." he yelled upon entering, clearly believing me to be sound asleep. He was looking down at the bundle containing my clothes with a disgust which probably stemmed from this unfamiliar gesture of doing something for someone other than himself, and I used his inattention to clutch the towel closer around me, making sure as much skin was covered as possible. "I've got your... huh. This is new, un."

The change in his attitude when he spotted me shaking and dripping in nothing but a towel was tangible and not all together unpleasant, though I'd rather eat dirt than acknowledge that. His one visible eye roved over me appreciatively and I shivered involuntarily, cursing my inner self for delighting in his interest and angling my body away from him in a vain attempt to shield myself better. Worse still he was smirking wickedly, aware of – and quite possibly revelling in – my new plight.

"If you say even _one_ word, I'll beat you to a pulp." I hissed, reaching for my clothes sideways as I tried to keep myself covered. He held them away from me, smirk widening into a grin, his eyebrows raising teasingly. I knew instantly what he had planned and I groaned. _Oh no..._

"At this point I wouldn't mind too much, un." he laughed, eyes taking in the bare skin of my exposed calves with a twinkle I would have punched him for if not for the fact that doing so would force me to release the towel.

"Deidara," I growled in warning, taking a tentative step forward. My foot brushed against something and I looked down, identifying the object as an empty ramen cup. When I raised my head Deidara was gone and I blinked, wondering how he could have vanished in the mere nanosecond I'd taken my eyes off him. Irritated, I brushed a few loose strands of my icy white hair behind my ear and made a concious effort to feel for his chakra which I knew would be hidden but deigned to try anyway. I needn't have bothered.

"What, un?" he whispered by my ear, making me jump as I realised he was right behind me. I froze, his closeness throwing me for a loop and thrilling me at the same time. Mentally slapping myself I swallowed to strengthen my voice and replied with as much venom as I possessed.

"Give me back my clothes. _Now._" I snarled malignantly. He chuckled, his breath brushing over my naked skin like silk, soft and warm. I knew what he was doing – he was trying to scare me, like that time back in the hospital when he reached over me to the fruit bowl. It amused him to see me flustered and degraded. But I would _not_ be giving him that satisfaction today. I wanted my clothes back and he _was_ going to give me them.

"Or else what?" Deidara's hand ghosted over my shoulder and I couldn't help but gasp at his bold move, the slight ridge of the lips on his mouth-hand feeling strange against my chilled flesh. I could _feel_ his smug approval of my reaction and it made me furious. Who did he think he was?! What gave him the right to touch me like that? At all, even?! An idea struck and I grinned evilly, ignoring the goosebumps forming all over me as his other hand twisted a strand of my long hair through his fingers. _Two _could play at that game.

In an instant I would later recall as a temporary lapse in sanity, I whirled and pushed him hard in the chest so that he toppled and fell on the bed. He let out a stunned huff as his back hit the mattress and his eyes widened – he definitely didn't expect that! Before he could recover I jumped on him and pinned him down, holding his shoulders down with my hands and using my knees to pinion his body beneath me. Shameful a position as I found it, I knew he'd be the worse affected for a change. Remembering to keep my arms tucked tightly to my sides to prevent my towel from slipping, I let my hair fall over his face and sneered as his eyes widened at the sheer audacity I was exhibiting. _That's right pineapple! I can play dirty too!_

I leaned forward, aligning my lips with his right ear, and breathed gently against his skin much in the same way he'd done to me earlier. He stiffened and I giggled as I recognised this as his way of repressing a shudder – served him right! With barely a hair's breadth between our faces, I was feeling quite proud of myself; I was giving Deidara a taste of his own medicine and I hadn't blushed yet! Go me!

"Or else I might _accidentally_ kneel on something," I purred. I may have been premature in my celebrations as I soon found our roles reversed, Deidara flipping me quickly and easily so that _I_ was the one pinned to the bed. It happened so fast that I barely had time to register the movement before I found myself completely immobile and looking up into the darkly entertained features of my tormentor. Head spinning, I tired to overlook the fact that my only covering was slowly loosening from all the sudden movement. Tried and failed, might I add.

"In that case I might _accidentally _blow someone up, un." he muttered seductively. After an intense moment in which neither of us spoke he smirked and moved to get off me, but not before he nipped me with one of his mouth-hands first. The bite startled me and I squealed in astonishment, resisting the urge to swiftly kick him as he ambled back towards the bedroom door – it wouldn't do much damage and my towel couldn't handle much more before it fell away and revealed my naked self in all my glory. "Hurry and get changed, un. We're leaving soon."

"Jerk!" I shouted after him, his departing snigger ringing in my ears long after he'd shut the door behind him. I sat up with a sigh and retrieved my clothes from the floor where they'd fallen after I pushed Deidara onto the bed.

_What_ had I been thinking?! That could have ended badly in so many ways it was unbelievable. What if he'd called my bluff and tried to take the teasing further? What if he'd gotten angry at my blatant defiance? What if Tobi had walked in and misunderstood the situation altogether? Then again there was only one way you _could_ understand the situation if you walked into see something like that. And no amount of denial on my part could make it look any better. God only knows what Tobi would think when I didn't even know what _I_ thought. Just what had that been all about? It was kind of understandable coming from Deidara; he had a naturally mischievous personality punctuated by a taste for danger and a temper shorter than my own. But me? I was as prudent as they came and a total rookie when it came to the art of seduction. So where the hell did I suddenly grow the balls to pull a trick like that?!

Sensing that the answer was one I'd definitely not like, I busied myself in getting dressed, changing my bandages as Tsukai had ordered using a roll left inconspicuously in the corner on the bedside table. _Subtle hint, Dei. Real subtle. _Fully dressed, I returned to the bathroom to gather up my discarded PJ's and Hiroshi's headband which, luckily, I'd thought to leave behind until such times as it could be hidden again. Tying it around my arm and nodding in satisfaction when it was fully hidden by my wide sleeve, I went about tidying the room with an absent-minded thoroughness. When I was almost done my stomach grumbled mournfully and I patted it before finishing collecting the empty cups all over the place. With a last glance over the now immaculate room, I headed down the hotel stairs to find some food and maybe a cup of strong coffee. Today promised to be a day like all others – non-stop travelling with not much else in between. For that I'd need a decent breakfast and a generous dose of caffeine.

**Enjoy the chapter? Tell me what you thought. ^_^**


	16. The Human Side Of Evil

Unlike most kunoichi, sleeping rough had always been my favourite part of a mission. There was something exhilarating about camping out in the open air with a star-filled sky overhead, the moon high and proud watching over me like an ever-present, opaque guardian. I loved the way the wind would caress over my skin and tug at my hair and the smell of wood-smoke from the fire made me remember similar such camping trips with Gramps all those years ago. The rustle of the leaves and grass was as a lullaby, soothing my soul and guiding me gently into a sleep untroubled by fears – even if the mission I'd been assigned at the time gave great cause for fear.

My mother said I was like Gramps that way. He had a free spirit too and he'd loved camping as much as I did, often trading his comfortable bed for the unenclosed liberty of the wilderness after Grandma died.

So when, on a dusky evening some days after my meeting with Hiroshi, Deidara asked me why I hadn't complained yet, I was a little startled. As far as I was concerned he hadn't given me anything to complain about so far – I was still alive wasn't I? In any case, to me the break from the towns was a blessing. Nothing like a packed street of bustling civilians, all talking at the same time and stomping on your unprotected feet to make you appreciate the great outdoors a little more. Besides, like I said I _enjoyed_ camping.

"Why on earth would I want to complain?" I asked, cocking my head in confusion as I poked at the fish I'd caught for myself earlier. I'd just set it into the heart of our little fire to cook and I was quite unimpressed; the tiny silver thing wouldn't even make a decent snack! It was barely the length of my hand and thinner than any fish ought to be. I watched it frazzle in the flames with disdain, frowning when my stomach growled hungrily at the tangy aroma; I knew the fish was only going to make it worse. The camping I liked; the food – or lack of, as it were – not so much.

"Most girls don't like sleeping outside, un." he shrugged, sounding as if he didn't really care one way or the other. He was sat against the wide trunk of a towering oak, nestled neatly in-between it's gnarled roots with his legs stretched out in front of him, his hands folded lazily behind his overgrown head. His only visible eye was closed again, the effort of keeping it open while addressing me clearly too much for his poor, tired self. Hah! As if he'd done anything to be tired about. _I_ was the one who caught breakfast and lunch today, useless layabout that he was. I hoped that rabbit we had earlier gave him diarrhoea!

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not 'most girls'. What 'most girls' do you know would feed their kidnappers?" I asked pointedly, removing the fish and pulling at it hesitantly, checking to make sure it had been cooked all the way through. Satisfied, I took a large bite which more or less polished off the whole thing, thanking my foresight for gathering some of the blackberries we'd passed earlier. I wasn't a fan of blackberries – they were sour and made me thirsty – but at least together with the fish they would make an almost decent meal.

"We only ate what you said you couldn't finish. If you'd had any sense you'd have kept the leftovers for later, un." Deidara replied complacently, not bothering to look at me. I took this golden opportunity to vent my annoyance by flipping him a very non-ninja-like hand sign which had Tobi in stitches, causing Deidara to stare at him with baffled irascibility. I smiled at the hysterical boy, giggling a bit myself when he fell over backwards in his glee. See? What's _not_ to like about the wilderness?

"So that it could fester away until I got around to eating it?" I answered Deidara's smarmy comment, still grinning at a helpless Tobi. "No thanks. A missing nin all these years and you don't know the basic rules of eating from the forest? I dunno _how_ you survived." I snorted, shaking my head in mocking astonishment. He didn't reply, apparently deciding that it was hardly worth the energy. Suited me fine; I preferred him quiet anyway.

I dragged my new backpack over from the pine tree I'd settled it under and dug around for the bitter berries and the bamboo water canteen I'd stowed in it earlier. Swallowing the handful of black fruit and guzzling the last of the cool water in my canteen, I smirked as I noticed Deidara eyeing the pack somewhat bitterly, having opened his eyes at the sound of my movement.

Before leaving the little town where I'd met Hiroshi I had demanded a new backpack and some essentials, which meant, me being broke and all, that Deidara had had to fork out for them; a task he seemed to recall with some resentment. I had no sympathy for him – I'd gone too long without bathroom prerequisites and a change of underwear, and I'd downright _refused_ to leave without them. I'd also have appreciated a fresh set of clothes but beggars can't be choosers, as Deidara had kindly reminded me, and I didn't mind about them so much – Rice Country, which was where we travelling, had plenty of streams to wash my own clothes in anyway. At any rate, I doubted it was the _cost _ of my equipment that made him so sour. In fact I _knew _it wasn't.

I chuckled, earning myself a reproving glare as he no doubt detected and understood the hidden wickedness in it. Good times, good times! When – notice I said _when_ not _if_ – I was rescued, that day would be among my fondest memories of my time as an Akatsuki hostage.

_/ – Flash Back – \_

_"What the hell would _you_ need a backpack for, un?" Deidara challenged, meeting my unwavering gaze with an insolent one of his own. _

_ We were walking down the main street of the little town in a horizontal line, which – I couldn't help but notice – the multitude of busy civilians unconsciously parted let through, though few actually spared a glance in our direction. It must've been the instinctive fear most people had for the Akatsuki as I'd never received such a courtesy when I was alone or with my squad. Just goes to show what an evil aura could do for you... although Tobi was exuding anything _but _an evil aura at present._

_ The swirl-masked man-child was hopping wildly, head spinning from left to right in excitement as he took in the many pretty shops this town had to offer. Sometimes it was hard to remember that he was every bit as dangerous as his peers and – as I caught myself smiling indulgently at him – I had to remind myself that he was probably the worst of them all. Like Gramps always used to say: 'The enemy that should be feared most is the one you suspect least.'._

_ It wasn't hard to see that this place was a commercial town, probably seeing a lot of travellers and tourists on a daily basis – trade was roaring, so to speak. A real shopper's oasis. I wasn't as impressed by the wares as my young-at-heart captor, my feminine flare for shopping having been lost somewhere in the spiny bramble bushes back home that Hiroshi and I used to dare each other to crawl through. Even so, I was willing to tolerate the bleak task if it meant getting some much needed possessions._

_ "What does anyone need a backpack for, genius? Carrying things, I should wonder." I spat back at the blonde bomber, sarcasm naturally working it's way into my voice. There was no way he was worming out of this one; I wanted supplies and I wanted them _now.

_"Carrying what?! You don't have anything _to_ carry, un!" he argued, the white ribbon bits on his hat swaying with his gait and the bell ringing out in a high-pitched ting. I'd already expressed my dim view of this monstrosity of a fashion statement, my exact words being something along the lines of: 'What's with the pimp-hat?'. I mean _really;_ was that supposed to be inconspicuous? 'Cause nothing says 'I'm up to something' like a man in a weird hat and a cloak with red clouds._

_ "Ah but that's where you come in, Dei, sweetie!" I grinned, my attempt at innocence coming across far too sweet to possibly have been genuine. He knew this too and beneath that ridiculous hat of his, I saw him raise an eyebrow._

_ "Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this, un?" he asked suspiciously._

_ "I dunno. Maybe you're being paranoid? I mean who _wouldn't_ enjoy buying their poor, little prisoner a few choice items?" I inquired nonchalantly, all the while daring him with my eyes to even consider objecting._

_ "Oh yeah? Like what, un?"_

_ "Hmm... Just some necessities. I need a new drinks canister since you left mine behind; some toiletries since, unlike you, I don't like smelling like a pig; oh, and of course I'll need some clean underwear-,"_

_ "No way, un! I am _not_ going to buy you underwear." he interrupted, to which I frowned. I had the very insane suspicion that he was made slightly uncomfortable by the prospect of paying for new undergarments for me, but that was nuts because he was Akatsuki. Embarrassment wasn't something members of a deadly criminal gang did._

_ "Why not?! I need them and it's _your_ fault I don't have them. Besides, you're supposed to take care of your kidnap-ee!" I bickered hotly, crossing my arms rebelliously._

_ "You managed before now, you'll manage from now on, un." Deidara insisted. My jaw fell open as I regarded his words incredulously. Perhaps he could sense something of the explosion headed his way because his head seemed to dip a tad, his face becoming more hidden in the shadow of his pimp-hat. Even if he could, he had no means to stop it._

_ "UNDERWEAR IS A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT, JACKASS!" I roared,stopping dead in the middle of the road and drawing the attention of every living thing within a mile radius. I caught his warning in the smallest inclination of his head, the bell jangling deafeningly in the sudden silence. Being me, I ignored him, pretending not to notice. "WHAT NEXT? ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME WALK AROUND NAKED IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO MY CLOTHES?"_

_ Around us a few of the busybody women common in every populated area started to mutter amongst themselves, pointing at Deidara and shaking their heads in disapproval. God knows _what_ they thought I was talking about – I sure as hell knew what it _sounded_ like. But at the moment, I couldn't care less. I put my hands on my hips and glared at the affronted Akatsuki, knowing instinctively that if not for the numerous witnesses I'd have been 'dealt' with already._

_ Tobi, also having been drawn in by another of our fights, shuffled nervously from foot to foot, looking between us as if deciding which side it was safest to stand on. He seemed to be growing restless from the sudden increase in stares concentrated our way and I guessed it was a missing nin thing – most wanted men chose to avoid drawing this much interest._

_ "Um... Mizuko... Tobi will pay for your things. It's my pleasure!" Tobi offered uncertainly._

_ It was certainly a kind gesture and I had no doubt he'd be happy to help me, but this was something I wanted Deidara to do. Not for any sick or twisted reason! That was the farthest thing from my mind at the moment – well... not the _farthest_, but far enough. I wanted to make him pay for everything that had happened in the past day or two. Not least of which, the reversal of what was meant to have been _my _revenge that morning._

_ "Thanks Tobi but I think Deidara should do it, don't you? He's my official _guardian _after all." I replied, no longer shouting but still making sure I was heard by those around us._

_ Deidara's hand was twitching – no doubt longing to smack me a good un – his face obscured by the nasty pimp-hat as he angled his head toward me in what I had no doubt was a menacing glare. I raised an eyebrow and fixed him with a look that said 'I can do worse.', thinking to myself that if he had any sense, he wouldn't doubt it. _

_ He seemed to think it through for a moment, his tiny brain torn between giving me what I wanted, thus sacrificing his manly pride, and dragging me away kicking and screaming, causing a scene that would leave a trail which couldn't be erased – people were often the best source of information for trackers. Either way I'd benefit, so it was all a case of which route _he'd_ prefer. _

_ "Well? What'll it be?" I demanded._

_ He raised his head and I saw the defeated scowl on his features, his eyes narrowed just enough to tell me how _very_ unhappy he was with the situation. He opened his mouth to give me his answer but before he'd uttered so much a syllable, a young girl of about six peeled herself from the fringe of the crowd and made her way towards him. She had brown hair tied back in pigtails and green eyes that sparkled with a spirit that few her age possessed. A thin, wiry frame concealed beneath red shorts and a plain white t-shirt, I knew someone of Deidara's strength could crush her with a flick of his finger – and _would_ if it became necessary. Yet, disregarding her mother's cautioning, she didn't stop until she was before him – _him_, a man who was many times more dangerous than her youthful mind could imagine – looking up at him with a glower of utmost contempt._

_ My heart leapt to my throat as I wondered what on earth had possessed her to approach him when most barely had the guts to look at him. My stomach clenched and I hoped Deidara had some shred of compassion in him, enough reserve to refrain from harming an innocent child. I knew he was a crazy, bomb-happy psychopath and his people skills were seriously lacking but surely even _he_ wouldn't attack a little girl... _

_ "What do _you_ want, un?" Deidara asked irritably, though he contained the threatening edge to his voice that he'd have used on an adult. I murmured a prayer under my breath, vowing that if he touched a single hair on the girl's head I would make him suffer in any and every way I could._

_ "You shouldn't be so horrible to a lady!" she cried, and, to my absolute shock and infinite admiration, jumped with all her might on his right foot. The move was unexpected and Deidara hadn't seen it in time to dodge, probably having lowered his guard because she was only a child. With a howl he hopped on his remaining good foot, massaging the other between his hands as the little girl returned to the crowd._

_ I stood frozen for a few minutes before the situation managed to permeate my daze, and my entire body shook as I started to laugh uncontrollably. Tobi was already little more than a crumpled heap of quaking hysterics and together we made up the only two in the vicinity brave enough to show outward humour at his humiliation. He glared heatedly at the pair of us as he stood again, which only made us laugh harder until neither of us could breathe._

_ "Fine! I'll get you your stupid stuff, un!" he growled, walking off and kicking Tobi in the butt as he passed. _

_ Unable to take it anymore, I fell to the ground and joined Tobi in the dirt, rolling around as the scene played again and again in my head, tears pouring down my face as I tried and failed to quell my mirth._

/\

I wasn't wholly sure what it was about the memory of getting my stuff that bothered him most: the hundreds of curious stares directed our way when I yelled at him; the little girl's daring move and then mine and Tobi's enjoyment of the situation after; or perhaps the accusatory frown he received from the prudish old woman at the lingerie store. They were all great to me but after some discussion over pickled rice balls the following afternoon, Tobi and I agreed that the little girl incident had been the best and had subsequently teased him about it whenever an opening presented itself.

"Oh! That's right." Tobi said thoughtfully, catching the look on Deidara's face and following the same thought processes as me. He said it innocuously, as if he wasn't going anywhere particular with his sudden revelation, but Deidara's eyes constricted knowingly as he predicted the outcome we all knew was coming. "Senpai doesn't like Mizuko's new bag, does he?"

"No, he doesn't, Tobi." I answered agreeably, shifting easily into my role in what had become our daily routine. "Do you know why?"

Tobi cocked his head curiously and I could sense his growing excitement behind that orange mask of his. It was as electric as my own in the quiet clearing, almost a physical force as real as the heat from the fire. "No. Why?"

"'Cause he got beat up by a little girl!" I exclaimed as if it were the punchline to a hilariously funny joke – which technically it _was_, to Tobi and me. We both collapsed predictably into a fit of giggles, laughing till we thought we'd burst as Deidara glared daggers at us. He grumbled under his breath but said nothing to defend himself, knowing that for every retort he made, we – or rather, I – had a better one. Settling back against his tree trunk in a huff, he closed his eyes again and put all his efforts into studiously ignoring us, though we could see his brow tremble with the effort of not killing us.

When we eventually managed to calm ourselves, Tobi and I sat in a gleeful silence, looking from each other to our third companion while grinning stupidly (at least on my part). I couldn't help it – no matter how many times we brought it up, no matter how many different ways we said it, it just never got old. Every time we ribbed him about his run-in with the girl it was as funny as the first time.

Suddenly, stricken by a brilliant idea, I quickly signalled to Tobi to stay quiet and took off one of my shoes. It was one of those rare moments when I was feeling particularly brave or, as with most cases, particularly stupid and – doing a good job of overlooking the consequences, as usual – I took aim with some difficulty. Deidara was only about five meters away, so I calculated that I _should_ be able to hit him. The distance was short, easy to negotiate even for a failure like me, but with the poor light provided by our fire and the tiny sliver of moon overhead it wasn't a done deal.

I held up three fingers to Tobi, a countdown, and slowly started to lower them.

One slim finger disappeared into my palm. Tobi was practically vibrating with anticipation and he covered the part of his mask where his mouth would be, holding back his excitement with difficulty.

A second finger went down and I felt the laughter expand in my chest, trying to force it's way through my tightly pursed lips. I bit down on my lower lip and imagined Tobi doing the same, watching as his arms wrapped themselves around his stomach.

My last finger dropped and I threw the shoe with all my might, letting out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding as the shoe sailed, right on target, straight for Deidara's head. Tobi indulged in a pre-emptive chuckle, probably imagining, like I was, the moment of contact and how seriously pissed he'd be. One would think the element of danger to the situation – you know, the fact that one or both of us was about to be beaten to a pulp or worse, blown up – would give us the restraint necessary to avoid anymore life-threatening actions. Blessedly, neither Tobi nor I were followers of the convent of common sense and so we were able to appreciate the humour.

However, as the projectile footwear neared it's mark Deidara shifted his head, _just_ enough so that the shoe hit the trunk with a resounding crack instead of his face. It was a major disappointment and as he cockily opened his eyes to smirk overconfidently, I pouted with unrepentant dissatisfaction.

"How the hell did you manage to dodge that?" I sulked. I'd _really_ been looking forward to seeing him get smacked right in the kisser but it wasn't all that surprising; he was a ninja after all. And a pretty good one if I was going to be honest about it.

"Ninja, remember?" he said, pointing to himself and echoing my thoughts exactly.

"But Senpai! You couldn't even dodge the little girl's foot stomp, how were you-," Tobi began, abruptly cut off when a yelp of pain replaced his careless insult. Rubbing the side of his head, he bent and picked up my shoe, which had just collided with him in an aggressive, so-fast-it-was-invisible throw from Deidara. The bomber himself was leaning against the tree trunk with his eyes shut again, pretending nothing had happened though it was obvious he was the only one who could have thrown it. "That hurt Senpai!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, un."

At this the conversation ended, Tobi being smart enough to know pushing his case would yield no results and me having nothing of any import to say anyway. The quiet was a comfortable one – or as comfortable as was possible when you had only your kidnappers for company – and the crackle of the flames soothed me into a sort of walking slumber, where my thoughts drifted freely. In a place where my senses were dimmed to the absolute minimum required of a Shinobi and all my wonderings were abstract, holding no real significance to anyone or anything, I sat for untold minutes – perhaps even hours – totally content.

"You know... Tobi thinks Senpai doesn't hate _all_ Mizuko's things." Tobi stated suddenly, breaking the lull with his gift of random and often irrelevant observations. Deidara stiffened but _I_ didn't understand. What did that mean, he didn't hate _all_ my stuff? Deidara knew Tobi and his mind better than I did, so he probably knew what was coming – I would wish later that he'd warned me!

"Huh?" I questioned, tilting my head in his direction and waking slowly from my reverie.

"It's just that Senpai seems to quite like Mizuko's new underwear." Tobi explained happily. It was a thoughtless, child-like comment that was _exactly_ the kind of thing the kid could be expected to say, but that didn't lessen it's affect by any degree.

Both Deidara and I turned crimson, though with varying extremities and for very different reasons. _I_ was totally mortified, not just at the comment itself but by the fact that Tobi had been so insensitive and had actually said it. After what he saw that night in the hotel, I'd have imagined he'd have the presence of mind to skirt around lewd topics but apparently I was mistaken. Deidara, on the other hand, was furious with his harebrained partner, and the second Tobi realised it he backed up warily.

"Eh heh, heh, heh..." Tobi forced a laugh, trying to defuse the fiasco with the use of light humour. "J-joking, Senpai... Er... Senpai?"

I could understand Tobi's sudden panic – Deidara's face was thunderous, darker than the darkest storm cloud in the heart of Lightning Country – but I couldn't quite bring myself to feel sorry for him. In fact, for the first, and what I hoped was the last, time in history, I was rooting for Dei all the way.

"You b*****d..." Deidara growled in a low, highly enraged voice. I saw his hand move, so fast it was barely a blur, and a second later a tiny white object flew out of it straight for Tobi, emitting a rapid flapping sound like the wings of a hummingbird.

Tobi was up and running before I had a chance to catch on but it didn't take me long. It had to be one of Deidara's clay bombs, his signature Jutsu which had foiled my escape attempt that time on the boat. Thus far I'd only seen his technique in the shape of a koi fish (and a cat if you count the nightmare I had that time) but this one was no fish. I caught the general shape of the white thing as it zipped past me on it's way to Tobi and realised it was a bird of sorts, with wings that were highly reminiscent of a hummingbird though it had a more oblong body and lacked the long pointed beak. In fact, apart from the wings, it kinda reminded me of a dove. I'll tell you this though; it was _fast_!

Even before their genin stages, Shinobi are taught to control their chakra in order to perform Jutsu. Eventually they progress to using it for other things like climbing walls and trees with no hands or walking on water, but among these less official skills the ability to use chakra to increase speed is most valued. It was a skill Tobi was currently making good use of, but even so he couldn't escape the lightning-fast bird bomb altogether. He disappeared into the forest leaving nothing but a faint dust cloud in his wake and several seconds later the aftershock of the explosion shook the darkened forest around us, scattering hundreds of roosting birds across the inky night sky.

Though still horrified by Tobi's witless comment I started to grow a tad nervous, wondering if perhaps Deidara had gone too far and actually killed him. Minutes passed with no sign of him returning and I turned to Deidara with a question on my face. He understood well enough and shook his head, panting lightly from the sharp increase in blood pressure his little moment of crazy rage had brought about.

"Don't worry about him, un. He's alive." the red-faced maniac muttered, falling back slowly into a less battle ready position with one knee raised and the other flat out on the ground, glaring at the area of forest through which Tobi had blundered in his bid to escape. "More's the pity." he added harshly, stuffing one of his hands back into the bag attached to his hip and folding the other behind his head. He withdrew it a moment later and held it up absently, palm facing me as he continued to look sourly at the trees.

I watched him for a moment and noticed that his raised hand, or more specifically the mouth on his hand, was... _chewing_. The areas around the corners of the hand-mouth were bulging, like cheeks full of mashed up food, and I watched in fascination as the mouth worked away. It was just so _cool_. Of course I knew the mouths were there – I remembered only too well my unplanned flight back when Tobi got himself poisoned and the subsequent discovery of Deidara's hand-mouths. But there was something weird and... _exciting_ about watching them _work_. Just like a normal mouths, they had lips and tongues and teeth and as much of a freak as I was, I loved such an anomaly.

He caught me looking and smirked, closing his hand into a fist and flexing his fingers and palm a little before opening it again to reveal another perfectly formed clay bird. This one was different than his hummingbird/dove combo and looked for all the world like an angry owl, its tiny eyes sitting below a ridge which gave the appearance of an irate frown. I held my hand out and he passed it to me, allowing me to inspect it while he observed with a proud grin.

It was smooth and slightly damp – to be expected, I supposed, since he'd chewed the clay with his hand before moulding it – but the detail was exquisite, each 'feather' perfectly sculpted to fit in precisely with the others. It's small beak looked sharp, just like a real owl's, and even though I knew it was just clay I found myself reluctant to touch it. A smile lit my features as I admired Deidara's handiwork, handing it back to him with an appreciative nod.

"It's really good. You have real talent as an artist." I told him, remembering his flare for art from our argument over it a while back.

"Uh... Thanks." Deidara nodded uncertainly, obviously unused to compliments. Either that or he was just unused to compliments from _me_ – I had to admit those had been understandably few and far between. "But this isn't art. Not really, un."

"That's right," I recalled, watching as he packed the small bird into a pocket inside his Akatsuki cloak. "You think true art is explosions."

"Yeah. To me, art is the fleeting moment of magnificence before something is erased from existence. Art is something that flourishes for the briefest of times before disappearing, never to be seen again, un." he agreed eagerly, though he eyed me guardedly as he too remembered the last time we'd had an art-centred discussion. "Explosions are the best example of that but there are others, un."

"Really?" I asked, truly curious. An art enthusiast myself, I was always open to new ideas and opinions on the subject. And Deidara's opinions were quite different from anyone else's I'd met, making them that much more engaging. "Like what?"

He thought for a minute, the hand with which he'd made the clay bird joining the other behind his head. "Hmm... Well another good example is life itself." he mused, laughing when he caught the confused frown on my face. "I know what you're thinking, un. Life's not all that comparable to an explosion, right?" I nodded. "That's not actually true. If you think about it, life is really nothing more than an explosion, un. They're both short and yet indisputably beautiful while they last; each and every one is unique."

"Yeah but life's short in a very different way to an explosion being short." I argued.

"True, un." he conceded, tilting his head to look up at the star encrusted sky. "But that doesn't matter so much. Explosions are short compared to a life but in the same way, life is short compared to eternity. It doesn't matter what they're short related to, the fact is they're short and that's what makes them art, un."

I considered that for a few silent minutes and realised that, actually, I kind of agreed with him. I'd said so myself not so long ago that the reason life was so precious was because it was so short and I understood now that that was pretty much the basis for Deidara's whole view on art, and indeed everything in this world. A life brief and vibrant was far better than a life eternal and monotonous.

With a small smile I decided that maybe, _maybe_, there was more to Deidara than met the eye. For sure, he was a terrorist bomber lunatic and an evil Akatsuki murderer. But... I was starting to see that that wasn't _all_ he was. There was a side to him – hidden most of the time – that wasn't so different from me or Hiroshi or my Gramps... I mean when you got down to the bones of it, when you _really_ looked at the facts, what was it that Akatsuki did that contrasted so much compared to what _every_ Shinobi did. Okay, so they were collecting the tailed beasts and killing off jinchuuriki – but apart from that... They killed and stole but so did the Hidden Villages when necessary, if the reward was high enough. And like the Hidden Villages, they didn't needlessly slaughter anyone they could stand to let live, otherwise they'd have been found and neutralised in no time.

It was very disturbing to think of them like that; to humanize them to the extent where I couldn't actually see that they were evil at all. They'd done bad things – _dreadful_ things – but what ninja hadn't in their time? I was only chuunin and even I... even _I_ had done things I wasn't proud of. Things I regretted each and every day of my life. And why did I do them? Because I was serving my Village and in the end that's all that matters to a Shinobi. For my village and to protect the people I cared about, there wasn't a lot I _wouldn't_ do. And as much as I hated to admit it, though their motives were different, Akatsuki did exactly the same. They fought to protect things that were important to them from their beliefs to their own skins... it was all the same really.

"What're you thinking about, un?" Deidara interrupted my thoughts, studying my face which I had a feeling was a mask of absolute concentration. I blinked, having forgotten that he was there altogether, and met his gaze briefly before looking away to the fire.

"I just think you're right is all. And...," I hesitated, not sure how he'd take my sudden revelation. With a sigh I finished, deciding that whatever he might do couldn't be worse than what he'd just done to Tobi. "And you're a little more human than I'd first thought."

"Huh?" His brow wrinkled as he tried to comprehend my meaning. Or maybe he _did_ get it and just thought I was being completely insane.

"You see, before all this," I began, indicating to the clearing as a general summary of my captivity. "I'd only ever heard of Akatsuki in reports and rumours. At one point I got inquisitive and did a little digging, gathering some basic information from bingo books and the like, but always the concept of Akatsuki had remained something of a fairytale."

I smiled ironically, remembering the long hot summer's days I'd spent in the library when Lord Shibuki had no missions for me, hunting down the scant data our village had on Akatsuki. Hiroshi had once accused me of developing an obsession and to an extent he'd been right; it had sort of been my thing. As a kid, I'd loved learning about rogue ninja and when I graduated it became a morbid pastime. When I first heard about Akatsuki, _of course_ I was interested and so I'd done some research. And it was actually my enthrallment with the mysterious organisation that had convinced me to take the mission that got me into this mess in the first place.

"But now I've met some of you and... you're not really what I expected." I continued, perplexed by the truth of my words. "I mean, I _like_ Tobi – he's a sweet kid and I'd love to be able to be his friend but I _can't_ because we stand on different sides of the fence. Sure, Hidan and Kakuzu I don't like so much but it's not for the reasons it _should_ be. And Tsukai... I _really_ like her. Back home I never had any girl friends because I'm the kind of girl who's 'one of the guys'. My best friend's a guy and I'd rather go camping than shopping, so having a female I can relate to is a big deal for me. But again, she stands on the wrong side of the fence. I should hate anything that's related to Akatsuki in any way but it's hard to hate people who aren't _quite_ the monsters from the stories."

I fell in to a contemplative reverie, wondering what Deidara made of the whole thing or whether he even cared. For the first time I thought about what life would be like once I was rescued and whether I could ever truly forget the men I'd formed strange, twisted bonds with. Tobi with his playfulness and Deidara with his arrogant teasing... Would I miss them? And what about Tsukai? Could I forget Tsukai and her kindness...?

"What about me, un? What do you think of me?" Deidara asked, snapping me back to reality. Now _there_ was a question I'd pay any amount of money to hear the answer to. What did I think of Deidara? I'd already discovered that I had a _slight_ attraction for him – he _was_ undeniably handsome – but what about underneath that? I didn't hate him... I didn't even dislike him, despite the fact that he drove me stir crazy with all his teasing and self-importance. I think... I think on some level I liked him most of all. He was kind of like Hiroshi in some ways and even though we argued most of the time, I felt like I _understood_ him and he, me. Like there was a deep connection that didn't show but was as real as the very air we breathed. I dunno... he was like the same kind of friend Hiroshi was but so very not at the same time.

"Hmm..." I drawled, toying with the idea of telling him the absolute truth. _Yeah right! He takes advantage of me enough without me telling him I like it!_ "You're the biggest jerk I've ever met... but sometimes I can see a side to you that's more bearable. Like just now, when you were talking about art. And even though I think it's a really bad idea, I guess I like you too."

I'd sidled around the biggest truth by burying it beneath lots of little truths but even then I thought maybe I'd given too much away – Deidara was giving me an odd look somewhere between awe and mild regret, making me think he'd read too much into what were supposed to have been polite and light-hearted words. But then:

"You're right, un." he said pensively, voice heavy with what sounded like resignation. "It _is_ a really bad idea to like me. Or Tobi and Tsukai for that matter. But thanks anyway, un." His nose wrinkled distastefully. "And I _suppose_ you're not too bad either."

My jaw fell open – oh, he _supposed_, did he?! After I'd helped save his sister and partner from crazy hill-billies and had gone out of my way to feed him since our departure from civilisation? That's a fine 'thank you' don't you think?!

"You really _are_ the biggest jerk I know!" I snorted, offended but in too good a mood to fight him about it.

"The best one too, un." he grinned, totally unashamed. I tossed my shoe, which had yet to make it's return to my bare foot, at him once again but this time it flew clean past him, not even remotely close to it's target.

"Don't forget modest."

"Naturally."

"You're shameless!"

Our cheerful banter was a pleasant change from the arguing and I slowly found myself forgetting – again – that he was a raging loony. The fact that he'd kidnapped me, snatched me from everything I knew and loved, meant nothing; this wasn't a scene typical of a captor and his captive. It was just two friends, camping in the woods and laughing around an open fire. It was a scene I should be sharing with Hiroshi but, sitting as I was while trading friendly witticisms with Deidara, I found it difficult to wish for that as hard as I should.

/\

"Are we all ready to move out, un?"

I sighed, frowning slightly at such a plainly stupid question. We – including Tobi, who had made his way back to the camp during the night at some point – were standing in a loose circle around the charred remains of our fire, having just finished a semi-acceptable breakfast of flame grilled wild mushrooms, rhubarb and burdock root. My pack had been shouldered and I'd refilled my canteen in a nearby stream, so _I_ was ready; Tobi, who was heavily and poorly bandaged courtesy of my lacking nursing skills, was as ready as he'd ever be; and Deidara was definitely ready, otherwise he wouldn't have asked.

"Let's just go already!" I exclaimed.

"Alright, alright, un! Geez... Dunno what you're so eager for..." he mumbled, reaching into a pocket inside his cloak and pulling something out, tossing it to the ground unceremoniously. With a quick hand sign, the little object made a loud bang-like sound and for one horrifying moment I thought he'd set off a bomb right there in the middle of our camp. Then the smoke cleared and in it's place Deidara's angry owl was sat. Only this time, instead of being a pocket sized trinket, it was flaming _huge_. And I mean absolutely enormous! It was big enough that Tobi, Deidara and I could all sit ourselves on it quite comfortably and still have room to stretch our legs.

"D-Dei... What the _hell_ is this?!" I cried, staring up at the scowling face of the owl-like sculpture which, to my infinite shock, stared right back, it's head twitching curiously just like that of a real bird.

"This," Deidara smirked, patting the side of the owl with paternal pride. "Is our ride, un. We're flying from here until we reach our destination"

I don't know who was more terrified, me or Tobi. Throughout our time together I'd slowly learnt how to read Tobi's emotions, though his mask always concealed any helpful hints I could glean from his face. Right now, though his face was hidden, I could tell that he was afraid of the big clay monstrosity. But I also sensed that he was resigned, as if he knew there was no other choice and he was jaded to the concept of riding on such a precarious construct through the skies. For me it was a different story.

I wasn't afraid of heights – sunny days spent cliff diving off the waterfall in my village had long since eradicated that fear. I'd climbed the tallest trees and scaled the highest buildings in my time, so the altitude wasn't a problem. But as I've mentioned before, I'm a naturist. That means I have a highly developed sense of where human beings were and were not meant to go and the sky was one of those places man was never meant to venture in.

"You're kidding right? Tell me you're pulling my chain." I muttered disbelievingly. There was no way I was getting on that thing! I may be losing what little sanity I actually possessed but I had enough self-preservation to know when I was staring death in the face – and that _thing_ was death with wings!

"No... Why would I joke, un? We've got a long way to travel and it'll take us weeks on foot." Deidara replied, confused. He sounded as if he thought _I _was the irrational one!

"I'm not doing it." I rejected, crossing my arms over my chest tightly in adamant refusal. "The sky is for birds; I'm a human and my feet belong firmly attached to the ground. Or at the very least something that _connects_ to the ground!"

"Don't be such a wimp! You've flown before, un."

"Yeah, while I was out cold, dumb ass! _And_ I fell off too! What does that tell you, huh?!" I raged, my bad temper easily erupting in my early morning fatigue. He could be such an absolute git at times – 'don't be a wimp' he says! 'You've flown before' he says! I'll show _him_ flying. When my foot plants itself in his rear end!

"It'll be different this time, un. You'll be able to hold on yourself. Stop being crazy and get on the bird." Deidara retorted, reaching for my hands to drag me on board. I hid them behind me and backed away, determined that he wasn't getting his way this time.

"Crazy? I've got your crazy! I'm not the psycho who wants to ride on a clay bird."

He chose not to answer this time, feinting to either side of me as he tried to grab my wrists and haul me onto the bird by force. He was fast but I was smart – at least, enough so to keep out of his reach by retreating in small steps, always keeping my back away from him. I was so preoccupied with Deidara, so totally focused on his desperate swipes, that I forgot all about Tobi and the fact that in situations as these, when I was more or less resisting the terms of my imprisonment, he would always be firmly on Deidara's side.

From behind me I heard a small whine, like a wounded dog forcing itself to move, and before the thought of turning to investigate had even _occurred,_ I was grabbed from behind, my arms pinioned stiffly to my lower back, crossed over each other so that the prospect of struggling was erased by the jagged pain erupting through my strained joints. It would cross my mind later that I had, until this point, been too generous in my unconditional (and somehow, undetectable) trust in Tobi. The boy I had become so fond off was in fact a brilliant choice as an Akatsuki operative for the very reason I'd been unable to believe such; people – not just me, I knew – were drawn in by his sweet child-like mannerisms and without ever meaning to, found themselves unwittingly trusting him.

I was shocked for a moment, some part of me unable or unwilling to understand that Tobi had moved against me. My brain knew it was true, was actually not so surprised by the concept, but my heart fractured just a little at what felt like a betrayal. It was no such thing of course; Tobi was helping his comrade. He hadn't committed a betrayal of any kind and in fact was displaying a profound loyalty in assisting Deidara even though he was hurt – hurt by a bomb that Deidara himself had made.

"T-Tobi?" I gasped, my knees trembling and buckling as sharp twinges shot up and down my trapped arms.

Deidara sighed, stopping little under a foot away from me, shaking his head like a father trying to convince his kid to sit still for their injection. Clarity struck _again_ and I realised that his seemingly clumsy attempts to catch me a few seconds ago had been a ruse to keep my attention from Tobi, while he sneaked over to get be from behind. It was sneaky and low but, even _I_ had to admit, quite ingenious. I had to applaud their ability to work as a unit.

"What are you so afraid of, un? I _told_ you, you're not gonna fall." Deidara tried to reassure once again, looking me in the eye as though he thought that would convince me. I didn't expect him to understand – a fool like him could never comprehend the workings of my mind. Not because he was Akatsuki or anything but simply because I would never allow it. Select few people were permitted an insight to my way of thinking and Deidara had yet to earn that right.

He studied me silently, almost intently, his face nearing my own until he was close enough that, should the desire take me, I could head-butt him right between the eyes. Tempting as that was, I resisted – this journey promised to be bad enough without him being mad at me for breaking his nose or something.

"I get it!" he suddenly exclaimed, causing Tobi and I to jump simultaneously. I used Tobi's sudden loss of control and butted backwards, my head smashing into his face and causing him to howl in pain, releasing my arms completely. For good measure – and a bit of sadistic pleasure if I was being honest – I brought my foot down on his toes, earning a very nice yelp for my trouble. I was indignant that he had taken Deidara's side over mine, even though I knew that would always be the way of it – I'd said so myself, we stood on opposite sides of the fence. That didn't quell my bitterness and sense of treachery any though.

While Tobi moaned under his breath in the tones of a child who'd been unfairly beaten, I brushed myself down nonchalantly, not regretting my actions but noting distantly that I _would_ later on, when the guilt settled in. Whatever he'd done, Tobi was much too cute to stay mad at and it would definitely sink in at some point that he'd done nothing wrong as such.

Deidara, hiding a small amused smirk, continued as though nothing had happened. He was not so close to Tobi that he would feign concern for the young man's predicament but he had respect enough to keep his lips sealed against laughter.

"As I was saying, I know what your problem is." he said, his expression a strange half-way stage between seriousness and badly suppressed enjoyment. "You're one of those people who thinks of the sky as some sort of heaven equivalent, un." It wasn't a question – he was totally confident in his deduction.

I snorted – what a load of rubbish! Heaven equivalent? Pah! At this point I wasn't convinced heaven even existed. Or God for that matter. What God would let _this_ happen to someone? And if heaven was real, why did He leave us humans abandoned on this hell-hole? This cesspit where people contracted ninja to steal and murder, maim and torture, just so they could get ahead in the world.

"Is that right, Sherlock?" I sneered sarcastically.

"Yeah, it is actually." he replied coolly. "You think it's a place forbidden to us; that because we don't have wings of our own, we shouldn't be there, un. What was it you said earlier? 'The sky's for birds; I'm a human and my feet belong attached to the ground', un?"

My jaw dropped though I snapped it shut just as quickly, not wanting him to see my distress. Because he was absolutely _right_. Not about the sky equals heaven thing but the general idea of it all. From _one_ sentence he'd understood something that even Hiroshi would have struggled with, and that was _with_ my explanation. I _did_ think that the sky was a place forbidden to all but the creatures with the means to be there – that it was off limits. That Deidara, of all people, could get that was more than a little disconcerting.

"But _I'll_ show you man can ride with the clouds too, un." he continued, holding his hand toward me, his smile soft and inviting for once instead of guarded and arrogant. In that moment my reservations were meaningless – I couldn't say no to him. And I don't mean that I didn't _want_ too; I mean literally _couldn't_.

So I hesitantly placed my hand in his and laughed a little when his hand-mouth licked my palm, tickling me in a way that I guessed was meant to ease my nerves. He led me to the bird and together we jumped aboard, the owl-like creature standing perfectly still as no _real_ animal ever would, allowing us to land on it's expansive back. Tobi clambered on behind us, crawling up the bird's flank with some hassle and plonking himself near the tail, panting from the exertion. He lay on his stomach, clutching the clay sculpture tight enough to leave indents with his fingers, his legs splayed so that his knees also dug into the clay. It was a position that I assumed gave him some comfort – not physically (I doubted it was comfortable in that way at all) but emotionally.

Deidara and I chose to stand, and as we took up a well balanced spot in the middle of the bird's back, he told me to hold on using chakra, or the turbulence really _would_ throw me off. As anyone can imagine, this wasn't the most comforting of preflight pep-talks but I did as he said and channelled my chakra to the soles of my feet, anchoring myself in place.

Then, with no warning, no hand signs or anything from Deidara to speak of, the owl-bird spread it's wings, the span of them an impressive 20ft from tip to tip. The clearing in which we'd set up camp for the night was barely big enough to contain it, the tips it's wings brushing against the closest trees – I had no doubt that one false move from the bird would uproot them easily. With a powerful downwards sweep, the owl lifted into the air as if it were a feather on the wind, the gust from it's flap blowing mine and Dei's hair about violently. It's gigantic body lurched and I nearly lost my control and tumbled, only _just_ retaining enough concentration to regain my footing.

And we were off, coasting through the air like it was nothing. The wind whipped around me, refreshing on my skin which was sticky and clammy with a sweat caused by the terror resulting from our bumpy take off. Around me the clouds floated by as we climbed higher and higher, the temperature dropping until it felt like we'd some how ventured into the guts of Snow Country. Birds – _real_ birds – wheeled away from the monstrous owl on which we rode and I stared in awe at their grace; these were the children of the sky, the _true_ lords of the world above.

Below, the forest spread out like a deep green carpet, spilling over the land unstopped but for the occasional winding silver of a river or stream and, in places, a great lake of glimmering blue. In the distance ahead of us I could spy expanses of lighter green and – if I screwed my eyes up – a patchwork of browns and golds; the grasslands and farmer's crofts. Thin lines of yellow-brown indicated the many paths which connected the towns, cities and villages of the land... but even this new vantage point told me nothing about where I was headed.

"Hey Deidara," I nudged him, turning to find that he was already watching me, a grin on his face as he saw me admiring the view. Ignoring the 'I-told-you-so' look on his smug mug, I continued. "Where are we going?"

Still grinning, he thought about my question briefly. "River Country, un. We have a base there." I knew he meant we, Akatsuki not we, we. Something – a long since discarded crumb of information – sparked in the back of my brain at his reply.

"What, you mean the cave that girl from Leaf and the old Sand woman tore to bits?" I chuckled, remembering a rumour that had gone around our village back then.

Apparently one of our Jounin, who was on a mission in a town near the area, had actually made contact with the surviving party of Leaf and Sand Shinobi as they passed by. He'd asked one of the stragglers about it and they told him there'd been a fight between them and Akatsuki over the kidnapped Kazekage, Gaara. The ninja had bragged that not only had one of the infamous criminals been killed, but their hideout was totally destroyed.

What were the names of those two women again? The ones who'd been responsible for it? Hmm... _Sakura something and Lady Chiyo, I think._

"Don't be stupid, un!" Deidara laughed, as if it were the most nuts suggestion in the world. "As if any of us would ever choose to _stay_ there; there was something freaky about that place..." he murmured, becoming unusually serious for a moment. He brightened again a second later. "Anyway, we have more than one base you know, un."

"Wha-?" I frowned, confused. What was so freaky that even a bunch of S-class criminals couldn't handle it? Surely, with the reputations these particular Shinobi had, nothing that existed in the realm of mortals. But there was something else bugging me. "I've just thought... why didn't we just fly from the beginning? We're making better time and we've been walking for weeks!"

"Wanted to make sure we successfully avoided the Sound Village. I learned the hard way that _some_ ninja are more observant than I give them credit for, un." He sounded sour, like he was remembering something particularly unpleasant, and I didn't miss the way he twitched his left arm slightly.

Sound... I'd forgotten that was in Rice Country. It made sense the Akatsuki would want to avoid the Hidden Villages when possible – especially nowadays when everyone _knew_ about them and their funky cloaks. But if we were now headed south-west... we'd be passing straight over Fire Country... and by extension, the Leaf Village. Surely he should be more concerned about avoiding the Leaf, the most powerful of all Shinobi villages, than the relatively new and barely noteworthy Sound Village? Then again, the Sound Village was run by Orochimaru; perhaps he was as big a threat to Akatsuki as he was to the Villages?

I thought about asking him about this but decided against it; for now, all I wanted to do was sit back, relax and enjoy the fantastic feeling of being up in the air, flying with the birds and seeing what most ninja – most _humans_ – could only dream of seeing. I reached my hands out to touch clouds as we passed, stunned by their freezing wetness. I revelled in the feel of the sun against my face and I thought that maybe, _maybe_, being where no man should ever be made the experience that much better.

**A very long chapter for ya! Maybe the longest I've written yet! Anyway, I tried to update by Friday but it was not to be. Tell me what you thought of this chapter please.**

**Also as a little present for all you faithful readers who wait patiently on my updates, I've decided to give you some teaser info on the next chapter. So here we go:**

**Mizuko is going to meet a certain two Akatsuki members again in the next chapter and someone returns to her life unexpectedly. I'm also considering some fluff in the next chapter... :P I'll see how it goes.**


	17. Chutzpah And Omelettes

"So tell me again, _where's_ this hideout of yours?" I yawned, my feet swinging back and forth as I peered over the edge of the clay bird. I was lying on my stomach, having gotten bored of standing hours ago, my legs up in the air while I played my new game of people spotting – a simple little pastime where I counted the number of specks I saw below that could perhaps be people... or perhaps not. Of course, the rapidly darkening landscape was making it harder to see and I was fully aware that my game would soon be drawing to a close. A bit like my eyes, which were starting to grow heavy from a day of doing nothing.

"River Country, un. Near the border it shares with Fire Country." Deidara replied through gritted teeth, the tension in his voice easily discernible. I'd asked this same question time and time again during our eleven hour flight and the answer was always the same; but somehow I would _always_ ask again. Maybe it was the boredom, which had settled so deeply by this point that I couldn't remember what fun _was_ anymore. Or maybe I found comfort in the sound of a voice instead of the steady 'flap, flap, flap' of wings and 'whoosh' of air past my ears. Who knows? Who cared?

"And we're still not there yet, are we?" I sighed, rolling onto my back to stare up at the steadily deepening sky. It had turned a peculiar purple-blue colour, tinged near the western horizon with streaks of orange, the first stars _just_ visible if you looked long and hard enough. Pretty... yes, that's what it was. The sky was pretty this way. And far more interesting to look at than the monotonous powder-blue of day.

One would think, being in the middle of the sky as we were, that there would be no more sky left to look at. We were pretty high – high enough that I started to feel dizzy if I dared look down too long – and yet I still saw the heavens the way I'd see them from the ground. Wondrous, huh? That I could be _this_ high and have the stars look no closer than they ever did was fascinating to me. It meant that the distance between the Earth and the stars was greater than anyone could even hazard a guess at. Such a notion made me feel... small. Insignificant. We were here and yet to the stars, we were like ants – perhaps smaller even than that. Our existence had little or no effect on whatever was outthere.

"We'll be there in twenty minutes, un. Do you think you could entertain yourself for twenty minutes?" Deidara asked, frustration and irritation lacing his impatient tone. He was sitting near the bird's neck, one leg dangling over it's shoulder while the other was tucked up to his chest, playing with a lump of chewed clay and experimenting with the many shapes he could make it take. I knew he was itching to detonate his little toy – to _him_, art wasn't art until it had been blown into oblivion. But I knew as well as he did that the risk was too great. We were directly above Fire Country, native land of the legendary Leaf Village, and although I was pretty sure we hadn't flown anywhere even remotely close to this Mecca of all ninja villages, that wasn't to say there weren't any nin below us on missions who reigned from there. An explosion in the sky _might_ give our position away and leave unnecessary trails – not that _I_ would mind all that much.

I shrugged, knowing he wouldn't see it but doing it anyway because it killed maybe three or four seconds of time I'd otherwise spend in unthinking boredom. Twenty minutes? Might as well be an eternity to me. It didn't matter how long it was going to take because, twenty minutes or twenty hours, the fact was I still had nothing to do. I suppose I should've counted my blessings though; it was twenty minutes more to live that I might not have been lucky enough to see. And it looked like I wasn't going to see many more of them either.

It was almost a whole week since Hiroshi's departure that night – a _week_ with no sign of his return, no word from him and no hints of a rescue on the horizon. Selfish as it sounds, I wished he'd hurry. Deidara, Tobi and I were headed for some Akatsuki hideout or other and my gut instinct told me it was the last stop on the line, if you get my drift. I didn't have too many weeks left in me – two maybe? I couldn't say for sure. But River Country was where it all went down last time and it didn't take a genius to figure out this was my final destination. This was where I'd dance my last dance, sing my last sonnet... Provided Hiroshi didn't come back with the key to my salvation soon that is.

How long had it been now since I'd seen my beloved village? Two... three months? Something like that. I'd been with Deidara for at _least_ a month and a half. Added to that, the time I'd spent on my mission before getting my butt handed to me that day... Yeah... about three months or so.

It's true what they say, though – absence makes the heart grow fonder. I missed the lazy days spent by the waterfall, the whisper of the wind in that glade that Hiroshi and I called 'Our Place'. Those days seemed so distant now; remembering them was like looking back over events many years old... like looking at images through a long and close tunnel.

I'd been gone too long. _Far_ too long. My poor mother; I wondered how she was coping. After Gramps, I was the last of her family and I could only imagine what it would do to her if I kicked it too. She'd been torn up about Gramps – more even than _I_ had – and they hadn't even been that close. It would _kill_ her if I were to go too...

I cast a glance over my shoulder at Tobi, who was in the same position he had been since the start of our journey, clinging with all he had to the rear end of the giant bird like some sort of limpet. I was still a little mad at him for earlier – I mean after all I'd done for him, saving his ass when he got himself poisoned and all that... And _how_ did he thank me? By sneaking up on me from behind and catching me off guard. Even so, I couldn't help but feel just a _tiny_ bit sorry for him. I could tell he wasn't taking to flying as well as I had and if his face were visible, I knew it would be greener than the grass hundreds of feet below us.

"So..." I drawled, pressing my forefinger into the clay that formed the junction between the owl's body and right wing. It was soft and spongy but no longer damp as it had been when I'd held the smaller version last night. Kind of like play dough except that it's extended contact with air hadn't turned it hard and brittle. "How much longer can I be expected to live?"

My voice had the timbre of indifference, as if I'd since given up hope of living and had accepted my seemingly inescapable fate. At least that's how I knew Deidara and Tobi would take it. In reality I'd done no such thing and was in fact just asking to get a rough idea of how long I should give Hiroshi before refreshing my own attempts at escape. If there was still no sign of him by the time Akatsuki was ready to slaughter me, I promised myself I'd give it a last ditch effort of my own – if it came to it, I'd rather die trying than sit and do _nothing_.

The silence that met my question was palpable, thrumming in the air like an unwanted insect. I wondered briefly why that was; after all, the only one who should find this a difficult subject was _me. _Yet I was getting the very distinct impression that neither Deidara nor Tobi were over thrilled at my choice of conversation and were, in fact, just the tiniest bit uncomfortable. I didn't delude myself into thinking they _cared_ about me – as if they'd bother themselves over someone as insignificant as _me_ – but I was thoroughly convinced this was further proof of their newly discovered (by me) _human_ sides. It was likely the fact that they weren't used to discussing a captive's death with them – I was sure they'd normally just do the job and be done with it – and that doing so was perhaps picking away at their consciences.

"Guys?" I probed, looking up at Deidara whose back was ramrod straight and stiff, as if he'd been sitting in a freezer all day. _Strange..._ I thought, looking over my shoulder again at Tobi. He too was stiff, though that was more likely a result of his awkward seating arrangements than through anything _I'd _said. There was something different about his posture though... His head was down and I felt like... like he was avoiding my gaze. "Guys? Are either of you listen-?" I tried again.

"_Yes_, Mizuko, we heard you!" Deidara interrupted, irritation more pronounced especially in the lack of his usual 'un' at the end.

I started, surprised by the coldness in his words which seemed, uncannily, to imitate the icy stare he directed my way. In that moment, the mere heartbeat in which he turned to look at me with that one cool blue eye, I saw everything about Deidara that defined the very worst of his character. Just as I'd seen his human side the night before, I now saw that which was _not_ human – all the things that made him different from other ninja, all the things that made him _Akatsuki_, were encapsulated in this briefest of brief seconds. And I was more afraid of him – of _anything_ – than I had ever been in my whole life.

"We heard you," he said again, turning away. I was glad of that; glad he'd removed the heavy burden of his scrutiny so that I might breathe better. But the memory, fresh though it was, would remain with me for the rest of eternity – this I knew with out a doubt. I had seen what few lived long enough to ponder. I had seen the true extent of an Akatsuki's malice. I had seen what set the demons apart from the ninja. "A couple of weeks maybe, un. Could be a couple of months. It all depends on the Leader, un."

His reply was frosty – callously so. I got the feeling that Deidara _knew_ this and had maybe even said it on purpose. Why, I couldn't imagine. In the time I'd known him he had been mean to me, he had been sarcastic and at times he had even been teasing. But _never_ had he been so purposefully been cruel. Never had he said something specifically designed to hurt me and though I knew it was quite possibly the truth, and I _had_ asked for it, the _way_ in which he'd said it had been uncalled for.

"I... see..." I croaked, my voice cracking with a mixture of terror and shock. I wasn't afraid of what he'd said – my death (whether it would actually happen or not) had been a long time coming and I'd always known that. I was afraid of what I'd _seen_. It was something I couldn't unsee and my perception of Deidara had been damaged by it. Perhaps permanently.

"Mizuko?" another voice addressed me, quaky with a very different kind of terror to my own. "Do you want to talk to Tobi? Tobi will make you feel better."

A small, fragile smile pulled at my lips but I didn't have to see to know that it didn't reach my eyes. I glanced at Tobi, clinging there in all his swirly-masked glory, and shook my head slightly, trying to make the movement seem apologetic and reassuring in the same instant. Ironically, the grudge I'd held for him but seconds ago was quickly forgotten and I wouldn't have said no to a hug if it was something I thought he could handle in his current state. Instead I focused on the ground below with more vigour, even though I knew it was hopeless trying to spot anyone in the carpet of black the world had become.

Not another word was spoken on that flight; I'm sure I speak for us all when I say I'd rather be alone with my thoughts.

/\

The giant bird touched down in front of a large and exceptionally beautiful house not long after the 'incident', as I'd come to think of it. I hopped off quickly, making sure I was nowhere near Deidara as I did so, and watched apprehensively as he made a hand sign which turned the huge owl into a pocket-size sculpture again. The ball of clay he'd toyed with during the latter hours of the journey had become a cluster of small, intricately detailed dragonflies, complete with paper-thin wings and large, bulbous heads and, almost casually, he tossed them high into the air with another hand sign. A chorus of little bang sounds and the dragonflies were whizzing around by themselves, tiny wings vibrating so fast that they made a low buzzing in the silence of the evening. With another, final hand sign and a muttered word that sounded like 'cats', the dragonflies exploded in something of a miniature fireworks display, lighting the landing area with their brilliance and shaking the night with the noise.

Tobi and I observed rapturously, fascinated in spite of ourselves at such an amazing sight – it was wonderful, no denying it. Deidara was right about one thing; explosions _were_ art. Not the only form, and perhaps not the best, but they were definitely art.

In the brief moments of increased light I managed to tear my eyes from the display for a few seconds to take in my surroundings. The place we'd landed in looked like a yard of sorts, unfenced but easily definable by the border of trees lining it in every direction – the area, a good acre or so, was completely enclosed by forest. For the most part the forest was thick and lush but there were some parts thinner than others due to the presence of great towering oaks which stole the nutrients from the smaller, less able plant life. Cutting through the huge glade from north to south was a weaving, little stream, bubbling cheerfully as it made it's way through the world, and to the back of the building itself there was a solitary tree, different form it's more conformist brethren in that it was squat and flowering beautifully with delicate whitish-pink blooms; an apple tree. To the north-west I spotted the wide opening of a path – one like the many which spider-webbed the land to assist travellers these days – shadowed and arched over by the branches of great birch and chestnut trees.

Such a place was _exactly_ the kind of home I'd dreamed of for myself as a young girl – a mystical place hidden in the forest. Right down to the stream, it was as if the image had been picked from my brain and made a reality. How sardonic that I should see a such a location only once I'd been kidnapped by the Akatsuki – it was like being given something in one hand and having something taken away from the other. Fate was a cruel mistress indeed.

The house itself wasn't half bad either; fairly large, two storeys high and painted white walls with grey shingle roofing, it was as every bit as homely as the fake base I'd seen back on that fateful mission. The door was a simple wooden affair, black like the window panes, with a basic silver handle. It was the very _definition_ of unexpected - certainly the _last_ place you'd expect to find a group of killer ninja. But then perhaps that suited Akatsuki's purpose...

I had to scold myself for that. _They may be Akatsuki, but you've seen for yourself that they're still human... mostly... _I reminded myself. In any case the building was much like the one I'd seen way back when, and I had a suspicion that _that_ house had been modelled after this one, probably using one of Uchiha's genjutsu tricks.

"C'mon, un. They're probably waiting." Deidara muttered, slicing through my observations like a knife through butter. I turned to look at him but he was already making his way to the front door, in the same general direction of the path – a blessing really, since his premature departure meant he didn't see me flinch at the sound of him speaking. _Get a grip, Mizuko! You're being totally unreasonable about this._

Tobi patted my arm and set off after Deidara as well, too tired to be his usual erratic self, and I wondered if I _was_ being paranoid; had I _imagined_ the look on Deidara's face while we were flying? Had I imagined all those things in his eyes that had frightened me so? Tobi didn't seem any different and it stood to reason he'd have seen it too, wouldn't he? Was I overreacting...?

...No.

There was simply no way I could have made up something like that. That stony, emotionless expression was impossible to mistake – there was nothing else in this world like it. And although I didn't know what it meant exactly, I knew it wasn't good. Something was wrong... very wrong... I couldn't put my finger on it but Deidara's attitude towards me had changed in a way that could – potentially – be as permanent as mine to him. And for whatever reason that cut me deep in ways I didn't understand.

Suddenly I registered what he'd said. 'They'll be waiting.'... Who the heck was 'they'?!

My eyes widened as a shock of adrenaline fizzled through my body, setting my senses on high alert. Fear – _true fear_ – flashed though me at light's speed and my heart started beating loud enough for me to hear it. And I don't mean hear it as in I can hear it because it's in my chest, I mean hear it because it's pounding hard enough to burst _out_ of my chest. If luck were on my side it would be Hidan, Kakuzu and Tsukai waiting for us in there... Somehow I didn't think that was going to be the case. Luck was rarely on my side these days.

Deciding I'd rather not enter the house alone, I rushed to catch up with Deidara and Tobi, nearly tripping over my own feet in my rush. They hadn't gotten that far ahead and I nearly slammed into Tobi's back, just catching myself with a strangled cry as I grabbed his arm and held on tightly, not bothered for once that I looked like an utter pansy. Tobi, naturally, _loved_ this and patted my head as if I were a scared child, taking on the role of reassuring parent as he exuded a gleeful aura of self-importance. I knew he was happy to be a source of comfort instead of a nuisance for once and I guess that's why, later, I didn't hold his cheer in the face of my fear against him.

When we reached the door Deidara didn't bother knocking; he barged right in as if it were his own home, marching down the hall towards a room at the far end where the door was ajar. I knew instinctively that this was where our house mates were and the temptation to plant my feet and refuse to move was overwhelming. I _could_ do it too. In the end they'd just drag me through but hopefully I'd pushed Deidara enough tonight that he'd knock me out first.

I laughed a little, disregarding the thought almost as soon as it'd occurred. Look at me! I was starting to display masochistic tendencies and that was never a good thing. There was no _need_ for fear, surely? I mean it didn't matter who was on the other side of that door, they couldn't hurt me anyway. Okay, well maybe they _could_ but they wouldn't. Not for now at least.

So I did what any self-respecting ninja would do – I told myself to suck it up and stalked to the door as Deidara had; as if I owned the place. Tobi stayed with me and I'll admit that was a comfort, but I wouldn't take his hand again; I was going to enter that room with my head held high, by _myself_, and I was going to let whoever happened to be in there know that I was not afraid. I would ask where my room was and then I would leave them... hopefully with my head still firmly attached to my shoulders.

I noted, as I made my way along the dimly lit hallway, that the interior of the house was as bleak as the outside had been picturesque. The walls were bare wooden panels, the floor polished yet marginally creaky floorboards (a feature I found, as I had in Ms Miagi's Inn, quite comforting) and furniture was at an absolute minimum. There was a notepad and pen on a waist-high table in the wide walkway between the stairs leading up on my right and the wall which held a further two rooms on my left, and I wondered briefly what on earth anyone could want to use such a thing for way out here. I decided just as quickly that I didn't want to know. Apart from the table there wasn't much else besides the naked light bulb dangling solemnly from the ceiling – which was actually strangely appropriate. I couldn't imagine anyone in Akatsuki, no matter _how_ human they were, wanting to try their hand at a spot of DIY.

Well... Tobi perhaps...

I resisted the urge to snort as I pictured Hidan (why Hidan? I think because he was the meanest member I'd met so far besides Pein; and I didn't _dare_ imagine _him_ for fear he may have psychic powers.) in painter's dungarees with spots of various colours of paint all over him. It was laughable – 'Akatsuki Goes Domestic!'. The image was so wrong, so completely impossible, that it reformed the entire meaning of a 'paradox'.

Tobi and I paused outside the room, which from the little I could see through the door was a kitchen of sorts, the white tiles which made up the floor suggesting (or would be suggesting if not for the layer of dirt on top) a place of hygiene and sterility. Voices drifted out to meet us and we listened in for a few fleeting moments, prolonging the unstable peace before we'd have to enter ourselves. Though his face gave nothing away as usual, I had a feeling Tobi was wary of our new companions as well – although, I reasoned, he probably had good cause to seeing as he would no doubt already know who they were – and figured that this was why he waited with me instead of joining his comrades.

"So you're here, hm? Thought you might be, what with the racket you made out back."

The one who spoke had a deep, laughing voice which rung with just the slightest hints of sadism; it sounded like he was amused, though whether because of his comment or because that was his general mood I couldn't tell. Either way I was frightened because, amused or otherwise, I had a suspicion this man was a force to be reckoned with. He had the timbre of one who would find fun in watching you bleed to death, crying out for mercy.

_Calm yourself, Mizuko! Remember; not everything is always as it appears._

"Bite me." This was Deidara, his tone so familiar to me even without the twist of mischievous humour he usually employed. I could tell he was still pissed off – he wasn't even attempting to conceal the fact. Further, I could tell it was _my_ fault. That upset me more than it should...

A throaty chuckle which set my skin prickling with nervous dread pierced the air. "Easy, half-pint. The fair maiden giving you a hard time?" My muscles clenched in anger despite my anxious state. _Fair maiden? I'll 'fair maiden' him!_

Deidara didn't reply but I heard him give a non-committal grunt before the harsh scrape of a chair being pulled across the floor reached my ears. A second later there was a heavy, muffled 'thunk' as he fell into it and I could picture him sitting there with his head in his arms, slumped on the table in exhausted abandon.

"_We_ could take her off your hands for a while." the voice continued, a dark undertone to his words that I did _not_ like at all. I became rigid as pure horror over-rid my basic bodily functions (such as breathing), my hand freezing on it's way to the door handle. I had been about to enter but was now unable, worried that an appearance by me would push the matter over an edge that it could not be redeemed from. "We'd be happy to, right I-,"

"No."

One unpretentious, non-threatening word uttered in a quiet voice smoother than silk and yet it had all the authority of a fire bell. The person who'd spoken had barely whispered – had there been any noise within the room at the time, I don't think I'd have heard him. But I _had _heard him and I was both terrified and strangely impressed. Terrified because _his_ was the cold voice of a man who has done black deeds and feels nothing; impressed because being able to command such attention – for he now had _everyone's_ undivided concentration, both those he could see and those he couldn't – with but a single word spoke volumes about his strength and skill, neither of which I had to see to know far outranked my own, more so than Deidara's did.

"Aw. Why not?" the first man asked. The question should have sounded inquiring, perhaps indignant or a little regretting but it wasn't – if anything it sounded more amused than ever, as if he were waiting for the punchline to a hilarious joke he'd heard a thousand times before but still found funny.

"Taking care of the girl is not our job – the Leader ordered Deidara to do it and it wouldn't be wise to argue with his decision."

Short, clear and straight to the point. Yet the soft quality in the man's tone never changed. He was always calm, his speech lacking the inflections of a normal person's – lacking the _emotion_. It was almost as if he was saying what he was saying merely because he was _expected_ to say it; like he had no _real_ interest in the matter one way or the other.

"Tch. You're such a killjoy, you know?" the harshly entertained reply came.

There was no retaliation, not from the second man and not from Deidara either, who, I had a sneaking suspicion, had fallen asleep or was just not caring. It seemed like hours had passed since Tobi and I had started listening, though in reality it had to have only been a couple of seconds. I relaxed ever so slightly, content in the knowledge that I was not going to be shucked off to whatever demonic duo were in the kitchen with Deidara. Even so the feeling of unease I'd had since finding out about our roomies wouldn't shift. I had a horrible hunch about the pair in that room... and if I was right – which I prayed I wasn't, though it was seeming more likely with each passing second – I could only hope the new found humanity in Akatsuki applied to them too.

"Tobi. Girl. Why don't you join us?" the soft-voiced man asked suddenly, and though it wasn't really that surprising that he knew we were there, I still flinched. He'd said it so politely, bordering on _kindly_... and yet no one, not even the dimmest of civilians, could mistake it for a request. It was an _order_. And something in it told me it would be most foolish to disobey.

So I stepped through the door, Tobi in tow and much less frightened than I was, though still more cautious in his movement than normal. As terrified as I was, I still did my best to seem totally at home. I didn't want anyone to see me afraid and I'd had enough lapses in control today thank you very much.

However, when I walked through that door and saw what I'd suspected I'd see, I nearly fainted on the spot. I felt the blood drain from my face and the funny thing was, I didn't even have enough willpower left to be ashamed of it. I was shocked. I was petrified. And I was convinced I was having a heart attack.

I'd been right – the room beyond _was_ a kitchen of sorts. The tiles were grimy but had, at some point, been white, the walls a charming rustic red and the counters dusty with misuse but unmistakable in their design. Some had doors on the front where I had a feeling little or no food and crockery was stored; others had faux doors lacking the patented long silver handles running lengthwise down the top quarter of the cupboards; but all had the same general design. They were built from white pine wood, well sanded and polished to give a shiny finish. The tops were a creamy marble specked with black or perhaps dark green... maybe both, I couldn't tell. On the far right, just before the corner, there was a fully fitted sink, though whether it was fully functional remained to be seen. There was a white cooker in a gap between adjacent units directly in front of the only window, which looked out upon the apple tree, and – to my infinite surprise – a washing machine complete with laundry basket against the wall on my left. A microwave was fixed to the wall on the window's right, near the sink, and on the left there was a sliding glass door which led directly to the 'garden', for want of a better word. Dominating the majority of the floor space was a large country-style breakfast table, a single, lonely potted spider plant in the centre, as if someone had made an abysmal attempt to add more life to the fairly large kitchen.

And sat at said table was the source of my heart attack. Three men, each unique and different from the others in innumerable ways but similar in one resounding aspect which made itself known through their attire. Naturally, they all wore the black cloaks adorned with red clouds of a fully fledged Akatsuki member and all had dark purple nails (I skirted around the phrase 'nail varnish', finding it impossible to believe that _any_ Akatsuki would actually paint their nails) but the similarities ended there.

Deidara, my constant and sometimes irritating companion throughout the journey that had brought me here, was – as I'd thought he'd be – slumped on the table, one hand resting on the back of his blonde head while the other stretched across the smooth, wooden plateau, his long blond ponytail flopping pathetically to one side and covering most of his face. The other two also sat at the table, one (the larger of the two) leaning back in his chair, feet up on the table as his seat tottered precariously somewhere on the border between falling backwards and falling forwards. The other was much more reserved in his resting, sitting easily in the chair opposite Deidara in a simultaneously relaxed and alert position. And it was this one who caused me such distress.

I'd met them both before, briefly, and I'd by no means forgotten them in our time apart. The largest – who was a mammoth of a man by anyone's standards – was known to me only by face, my village having had no data on him during the days I'd spent researching. He was tall and bulky, strong I needn't wonder, and exceptionally fearsome in appearance. His skin was not the colour of any human I'd ever seen, it's light blue hue defying what should be biologically possible. His hair too was blue, darker than his skin and standing right on end like a cartoon character who'd had a fright. His face was rough-looking, toughened through countless battles more brutal than I could ever imagine and on his forehead he bore his village symbol on what looked like a head guard of some sort; the four small waves of the Mist Village, scored through as was Akatsuki custom. The man's facial features were strangely shark-like, a feature which was amplified by the predatory grin on his face revealing several sharp, triangular teeth and the weird gill-like structures under his small, deep set, white eyes. As if his appearance weren't intimidating enough, the gargantuan sword with which he'd torn half of my arm off sat ominously against the unit behind him.

And yet, as menacing as this shark-man was, he was nothing to his comparatively smaller partner. Unlike the shark, this other I knew quite well. He was something of a legend in the circle of Leaf's allies and being such, I'd known about him even before I conducted my research. His cloak was unbuttoned at the top, flapping open to reveal a fairly muscled chest covered by basic ninja clothing – that is both netting and black fabric shirts. Around his neck he wore a metal necklace, which I found to be peculiar as I'd never taken him for a man to wear trinkets, and his hair – long, black and smooth – was tied back in a low ponytail at the back while it hung around his face to his cheeks at the front. His face was stern and stolid, the long, pronounced creases under his obsidian eyes giving the impression of being sleep deprived or perhaps ill. Although small when compared to his partner, he was still taller than me by at least half a foot. And the name which brought all this into one substantial entity; Itachi Uchiha.

This was the man who had killed – no, _slaughtered_ – his entire family without any reasonable explanation. This was the man who could break your spirit, just by looking into your eyes with his malevolent bloodline trait. A man so much more powerful than I that for me to even _consider_ the possibility of freedom under his dark gaze was insanity. Here was a ninja that not I, nor indeed anyone else in this room, could _ever_ defeat. And this man was staring directly at me with eyes which held an intelligence so deep, I thought I might drown.

I was pinned beneath the infamous Uchiha's cold scrutiny like a butterfly pinned beneath a lepidopterist's needles. He could kill me before I knew it was happening or draw my death into many years of torture which would pass in but a second of this world. It was this knowledge, this certainty that defeat at his hands was inevitable and quite possibly agonising, that scared me more than anything else. It didn't beat what I'd seen in Deidara tonight but it came _damn_ close.

"Why don't you take a seat?" Itachi offered, polite and yet maintaining a chilly distance. I said nothing and for a few startled seconds (resulting from his perfect manners, I think) _did_ nothing. Then, realising a deadly criminal of epic proportions had just told me to sit down, I traipsed over, making sure I was as far from Itachi as the table would allow. I ended up sitting beside Deidara, though he didn't acknowledge my presence, and Tobi wandered in behind me sitting along the empty side of the table and remaining abnormally quiet for once.

"I think the little lady might be scared of you, Itachi." the shark-man observed, the booming laugh that followed making me jump just a little. "Wonder what happened to all that chutzpah(*) she had back when she met Pein!"

_That_ brought a little of the real me back. I've said it before and I'll say it again – I'm a stubborn creature. I don't take kindly to people looking down on me, even though they usually had every right to. And I _don't_ like people talking about me as if I wasn't even there.

"Can it, sharky, or I'll show you some _real_ chutzpah!" I snapped, glaring at him even though there was a high possibility I'd just shortened my life beyond a time-scale that _anyone_ could overcome. "And who're you calling 'little lady'?"

The blue man just laughed, taking a delight from my response that I hadn't intended him to have. Still, it was better than him whipping out that sword of his and tearing me a new one – literally – so I let his cheek pass... for now.

"That's the rebel I remember!" he grinned, reaching across the table and holding his hand out to me. I took it warily and we shook briefly. His hand enveloped mine so completely that I knew he could crush it like so much kindling should he be so inclined; I had a feeling he wouldn't be totally adverse to such an action either. "Name's Kisame Hoshigaki. What's yours, sweet cheeks?"

"Mizuko Shinoske." _Yeah, as if you didn't know! _"And don't be calling me sweet cheeks, shark-boy." I grunted, narrowing my eyes and giving him my best 'threatening' face. The smile on his aquatic features didn't fade so I guess my 'threatening' face wasn't as impressive as I'd wanted it to be.

"Sure thing, princess." Kisame chuckled. I considered chewing him out about calling me 'princess' too but what was the point? He clearly found my irritation amusing and saying anything further would just make him do it more. A bit like when I told Hiroshi not to burp in public... I could still remember that time he'd burped the whole alphabet just because I told him to stop it...

"Where's my bed? I wanna sleep." I muttered, wanting to get out of the way before I lost my nerve.

"The rooms are upstairs. Deidara will take you to a free one."

I recoiled. The one who'd spoken was not Kisame but his stoic friend at the other side of the table. Yeah, that's right; the freak with the voodoo eyes. It was silly really – I mean he'd only answered my question. But I still couldn't control the tremor of anxiety Itachi's voice caused in me. And unfortunately enough, I was sure everyone else had noticed it too.

Plucking up every strand of courage I had, I turned to the Uchiha with a polite, if exceptionally weak, smile. "Thanks but I can find my own way." I said quietly – almost whispered really – making sure to avoid his black, empty eyes. Just then, Deidara stirred.

"No. It's alright, un. I'll take you."

"I can find my own way." I insisted, not wanting to make him go out of his way and get even madder at me. God knew he was pissed enough as it was. "I'm a big girl – I'm sure I'll-,"

"I said _I'll_ take you, un." he snapped. I blinked, his sudden outburst taking me by surprise. I wanted to argue, to tell him that I wasn't about to make a break for it between here and the stairs – for that was surely what he thought – but arguing somehow seemed like a bad idea. There was something in his voice that told me he didn't care what I had to say about it because he was going to take me anyway. So then what purpose would fighting him serve?

Deidara rose from the table, his visible eye hard with something bordering on anger, unless I was much mistaken. I doubted I was – it was hard to mistake the look on his face for anything else. He stalked in the direction of the door, hand clamping painfully around my wrist on his way past and causing me to yelp as he dragged me along behind him like a rag doll. I tried pulling away but his grip tightened and I bit down hard on my lip to cut off a scream before it could escape; I was certain that would only make things worse.

_What the hell is his _problem_?_ I asked myself through the dull blaze of aching in my arm. This Deidara – the monster who was currently hauling me mercilessly down the hall – was _not_ the man I'd known up till now. He'd changed, become more ruthless, more... _evil_. I didn't like it. Ever since I'd asked about my life expectancy back on his clay bird he'd been acting weird. Maybe he was just tired but whatever it was, I wanted it to stop. And soon. _I want the old Deidara back again, _I thought miserably, recalling another recent event in which I'd made the same wish.

We climbed the stairs two at a time, the ancient wood complaining woefully under our feet as I wondered what his hurry was. I tripped and stumbled several times but he never slowed, ignoring my protests as we scaled the steps in record timing and marched down a hall very similar to the one on the ground level, passing many doors which I assumed were either bedrooms or bathrooms – it was impossible to tell from the outside.

When we reached the room which was to be mine we didn't even slow; Deidara simply threw the door open and tossed me over the threshold brutally, as if I were little more important than a sack of potatoes. I landed awkwardly, twisting my ankle and hurting my bum on the dusty floorboards – and he's lucky I _did_ because by this point my tolerance of his behaviour was reaching it's limit. What did I look like, a bowling ball? If I were able to move I'd make him eat some of that fancy exploding clay of his; I'd break both his arms and tie them to his legs; I'd knock him into next week! As it was I could only glare, massaging my foot which had already swollen to twice it's natural size.

"What was that for dumb ass?!" I cried angrily, looking up at him as he scowled at me in disgust. I'd had just about all I could take of his bad mood today. "I dunno why you're so moody but I'm not gonna sit here and be thrown from pillar to post! If you've got a problem just say it 'cause I've had enough!"

Deidara continued to watch me with that shadow of revulsion on his face, as if I were something particularly nasty that had been dragged in on his shoe. I glowered, my rage becoming stronger than my fear of him. Who did he think he was? If he thought I'd let him push me around just because he was more powerful than me, he was wrong. If he hurt me once more I was going to rip his lungs out through his butt!

"I'm talking to you, blondie!!!" I yelled.

He was on me before I'd uttered the last syllable, fingers digging into the tops of my arms, blue eyes blazing like an inferno. I'd crossed the line, I knew. I'd pushed him over the edge and he really _was_ going to knock me out. I froze in his vice-like grip, the will to struggle lost in the raising waves of panic. What would he do? Would he beat me until I was unrecognisable? _Kill_ me?

Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine, kissing me forcefully, his tight hold loosening gradually until it was almost a gentle caress. This wasn't like last time when we'd kissed softly; this time Deidara was doing all the work, his mouth rough and demanding, forcing my lips apart so that he could slip his tongue in my mouth. I resisted for a few seconds but eventually submitted – in my defence I _really _tried – allowing my tongue to dance with his, tasting him as he did me and screaming in my head that this was so totally _wrong_.

He leaned forward slightly, hands sliding down to my hips as he deepened the kiss and although I was aware that I should push him away, I was only capable of sliding my arms round his waist and pulling him closer. A pleasant burning in my chest curled and spread through my limbs, electric fire seeping into my bones and coiling in my stomach. I _needed_ him closer... I _wanted_ him closer...

And then, as suddenly as he had started, Deidara stopped. His mouth pulled away from mine and I made a small noise of longing in the back of my throat as he hovered inches from my face, his hot breath raising goosebumps all over my skin. He kissed my cheek, then my jawbone, travelling downwards until he reached my neck and then moving to rest his forehead on mine. His eyes were softer now... almost tender. And this was more frightening than his anger had been.

"W-what..." I stuttered, turning red. He didn't say anything but his hands moved up to my face, stroking the sides of my neck. His face was perfectly straight, almost guarded, as if he himself didn't quite know what he was doing or why.

Then, without a word, he planted one last tender kiss on my lips and stood to leave. I could've stopped him... Part of me _wanted_ to stop him. But if I did it felt like I would be betraying my village. And that was something I just couldn't do.

/\

I awoke the next morning to the sounds of arguing. It shouldn't have surprised me – if I'd learned one thing about Akatsuki during my kidnapping it was that they didn't really get along that well. Tobi and Deidara were always at odds, though in this case it was usually a case of Tobi taking beatings while Deidara gave them. Though I hadn't seen Kisame and Itachi fight yet, I supposed that must be true for all the Akatsuki; I guess deadly criminals just weren't meant to mix, not even with each other.

I'd slept fitfully, though the bed in my room was exceptionally comfy, especially when compared to the cold, hard ground I'd grown accustomed to in the last few days. No prizes for guessing what had caused the disturbance, huh?

It was true; I'd been restless all night because my head was so filled with Deidara. And I mean _filled_. Mostly it was the memory of the kiss we'd shared last night that did it. It troubled me more than our first had (how strange... it almost sounded like we were _dating_ when I put it like that...) because back then he'd been teasing me and nothing more. This time was different, more meaningful than the last, and it unsettled me greatly. Even so, I had to admit that I'd enjoyed it _very_ much...

_C'mon now! Enough of that. He's unattainable so just accept it. He was probably just messing with you anyway. _

I sat up in bed and pushed the thick quilt back, narrowing my eyes against the glare of the sun from my window. It was a beautiful morning. From my bed I could see the sky through the curtain-less window, blue and dotted with the puffy white clouds that I used to make shapes from as a child. If not for the raucous noise downstairs I thought I might hear birds singing and maybe the rustle of leaves blowing in the light wind.

With a sigh I looked down at my fully clothed body – I'd slept in my clothes because the thought of one of my captors coming to wake me while I was naked was too much to bear, especially after what had happened with Deidara. And, having no pyjamas since I'd left the stolen ones at the hotel, fully clothed or naked were my only options. I made a mental note to wash my clothes today... maybe I could borrow something from one of _them_ while mine went through the washer...

In any case that was a dilemma for later. For now I had more pressing issues; not least of which was _breakfast_. After such a long time eating only what the land could offer, I was looking forward to a hearty, cooked breakfast... assuming, that is, that there was any food here to be cooked. From what I'd seen of this 'base', it left a lot to be desired where necessities were involved. And cleanliness for that matter.

With a yawn, I stretched and made my way downstairs, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I went and dodging a little black spider hanging on a thin thread from the ceiling just outside my door. The stairs creaked beneath my bare feet and I prayed the wood was as well sanded as it looked – the _last_ thing I wanted was a splinter at this time of morning. The arguing I'd woken to never let up and as I got closer I began to discern venomous words here and there and I recognise voices. By the time I reached the bottom of the staircase I could hear every word clearly.

"I SAID _YOU_ DO IT, UN!"Deidara shouted. My heart pounded to hear his voice but I paid no attention to it, deciding – wisely so, I reckon – that where Deidara was concerned, my reactions and feelings were not to be trusted.

"I _CAN'T_! COOKERY CLASSES AIN'T EXACTLY IN MIST'S SYLLABUS OF NINJA SKILLS!" came the heated and equally loud reply from Kisame the Shark-man. Even while he was arguing he still sounded slightly amused.

"SO GET TOBI TO DO IT, UN!"

I ambled into the kitchen, already biting back a giggle as I figured out what all the ruckus was about. Plopping down at the table, I eyed the quarrelling pair with as straight a face as I could manage. Deidara and Kisame were on their feet, facing off across the kitchen in a battle of words that could quickly turn to a battle of fists if the right shove was given. And I fully intended to be the one to give that shove.

Tobi was cowering under the table, his hands over his head as if we were expecting a bomb raid – which with Deidara around was wholly possible. Itachi on the other had looked like a civilian man who was getting ready to go to work for the day – well, except for the cloak and headband. He sat there totally at peace, onyx eyes focused on what looked like a newspaper (but that was just too weird so my brain blocked that little part out) and sipping coffee from a mug at regular intervals.

"So," I grinned, drawing the majority of the room's attention – Itachi ignored me completely, for which I was thankful as just being in the same room as him was giving me the heebie-jeebies. "Who's cooking the breaky?" I smirked cheekily, using the same word for 'breakfast' that my mother did when she was in a good mood.

"HE IS!" Kisame and Deidara yelled at the same time, pointing at the other. I saw nothing in Deidara that hinted towards what _he_ thought about last night and I felt a little twinge in my chest. I hid it well and carried on as if nothing were amiss.

Laughing and shaking my head, I hauled my butt out of the chair again. I pushed between them and opened some of the cupboards, looking for supplies that were few in number and mostly inedible. After what felt like hours, I gathered the little food that was fit for human consumption and thought quickly. There were six eggs (which, I'm not pleased to say, were in a cupboard rather than a fridge), half a loaf of bread and a stale but comestible block of cheese. Toast and cheese omelettes it was!

"I'll make some breakfast on two conditions." I said over my shoulder, getting out four dusty plates and the charcoal black frying pan. I shuddered at the dirty crockery and turned on the hot water tap at the sink, lobbing the plates and frying pan in. "I want someone _responsible_ to help me... or at least someone who won't mess up my orders. And I want someone to loan me something to wear while I wash my clothes."

I didn't bother waiting for an answer and instead turned my attention to the filling sink, testing the temperature of the water and adjusting it to a more bearable heat. I knew they'd do as I asked because Akatsuki or not, men were all the same – they'd do back flips naked if it meant they'd get fed at the end of it. Or at least that's what my mother used to say.

I quickly washed the dishes and took the frying pan to the cooker which was moderately clean compared to... well, everything else. Must be new. It was of a simple design, run on gas (from where the supply came I could only wonder) with four hobs and I chose the one nearest to me on the left, igniting it easily and letting the pan heat up on the blue flames. I could feel everyone's eyes on me but I blanked them, concentrating on the task at hand because making omelettes was a delicate process. I'd done it before, back home with mom – she taught me all sorts of recipes – and her biggest rule after making sure everything was clean was to take extra care around your ingredients; one bad component could screw the the whole thing up. And I couldn't afford that since there was nothing else to eat around here.

"Whoever's been elected to help me, pass an egg please." I commanded, testing the pan with the palm of my left hand and holding out my right to receive the egg. The heat rose and brushed against my skin and I nodded in satisfaction as something smooth was placed in my hand. I turned to thank my helper with a smile, which slipped when I learned just _who_ it was. I yelped in both surprise and alarm, dropping the egg on the floor where it shattered like glass, spreading burst yolk and albumen all over the already filthy tiles.

It was Itachi. Itachi Uchiha was standing _right_ next to me and, though my head struggled to understand such an insanity, _he_ had been the one who passed me an egg. _He_ was my assistant? Why _him_?

Then I saw the others sniggering behind him and I caught on to what was happening; they'd done it on purpose! They _knew_ I was afraid of Itachi Uchiha and that's why they got him to do it. They also knew I couldn't ask for someone else because that would have been rude and, quite possibly, detrimental to my health. Those sneaky, low down, no good creeps! I was _so_ spitting in their breakfast when it was ready!

"I – er – c-could you p-please get me a b-bowl, please?" I stuttered, teeth chattering in my terror and overusing the word 'please' in my desperation to remain a member of the un-tortured. The Uchiha raised an eyebrow – _almost_ as if he too was amused by my attitude to him – but didn't reply, turning immediately and following my request instantly.

I accepted the bowl with shaking hands and cracked the remaining eggs into it, handing it hesitantly to Itachi and asking him to mix it in my most polite voice, while I put the toast under the grill – not shockingly there was no toaster. I bustled about, asking Itachi to do this and that without looking at him; it made it easier to focus if I pretended he was someone else.

Soon breakfast was well under way and I found that actually, Itachi was pretty good as a helper. He followed orders well and took the initiative on occasion if I forgot something – like when the toast nearly went up in flames when I forgot to turn it. He went about his business quickly and silently and I soon found myself forgetting who he was altogether. Not forgetting literally of course – that simply wasn't possible – but gradually becoming less frightened of him, if you understand what I mean. I still held a certain wariness which I'm sure most _sane_ people had for him, but I was able to almost enjoy his company a little.

It was as I was finishing off the last omelette that it happened. I looked into the garden, sweat pouring down my forehead from the heat of the frying pan, and a whirlwind of apple blooms danced before me. It _looked_ like a freak wind had pulled the flowers from the tree and was spinning them about, much like leaves in autumn...

But _I_ knew different. It wasn't by chance that the flowers were acting like that... Someone was using a Wind Element Jutsu nearby and I thought I might know _who_...

And the funny thing was, I didn't know whether to pray I was right or pray I was wrong.

**Ooohh! So who do you think it is, hm? Shall I give you a clue? Okay, here's a little hint; Hiroshi _doesn't _have Wind Element abilities. He is Water and Lightning Element. ^_ ^ And that is all I'll say on the matter!**

**(*) If like me, this was your first time seeing the word chutzpah (which IS actually a word, surprisingly enough) it means bold self-confidence, impudent rudeness or lack of respect.**


	18. Beyond Betrayal

"Hmm... Passable, I suppose." Kisame grunted, stuffing a third omelette down his gullet without pausing to chew.

All in all I'd made about ten small to medium sized omelettes – two for each of us – and the same number of slices of toast. However, thus far I'd only had one slice of toast and half an omelette (though none of my house mates could ever guess _why_ I'd lost my appetite) and Kisame had eaten over three times as much as me – apparently six and a half foot shark men needed _a lot _of energy. _And a bib, _I thought with a grimace as Kisame dropped some chewed up omelette onto his chest.

Surprisingly, Itachi had also eaten a fair bit. He wasn't one for omelettes, as he'd politely told me while we slaved over the hot stove, but he'd still managed to eat his fair share as well as the toast I'd said I didn't want. I was finding out quickly that Itachi was probably the most well-mannered, soft-spoken Akatsuki member ever to exist. He was distant in his speech, as if he were hiding something from the world, but always treated me with courtesy and respect even though he didn't really _have _to. With his personality it was hard _not_ to warm to him, though I thought I would always feel an echo of caution towards him – it would be foolish of me not to. I'd reflected at one point during this impromptu 'family' breakfast, while stabbing aimlessly at my half-eaten omelette, that this lulling part of his personality had likely seen many men to their graves in it's time.

Tobi and Deidara, on the other hand, ate exactly what they were supposed to, Tobi complimenting me eagerly on how good the food was – which, by the way, he'd managed to eat without _anyone_ seeing his face. How he managed it, I'm not sure... he seemed to have picked a moment when everyone was distracted and then scarfed it all down faster than even Kisame. Deidara however, had eaten slowly and was the last of us to finish; ironic really since of us all he had the most – and by far the biggest – mouths. Which raised a very good question actually. _Could _he eat with his hand-mouths? I wouldn't think so... I doubted there was a tube leading to his stomach as with his normal mouth. But there was a great many things I'd doubted that _were_ in my lifetime.

"What d'you mean _passable_?" I sulked, flicking a scrap of omelette at the overgrown Shinobi sullenly. Normally I'd have exploded for a comment like that but I was too caught up in a whirlwind of emotion (a lot like the mini whirlwind of flowers that had been outside) to be much bothered by his obvious goading. "That's probably the best meal you've had in months and you know it, blue-boy."

His gruff laugh shook the kitchen walls and I was stricken by the idea that he got some sort of kick out of my reactions. He seemed to _like_ it when I called him names or when I was aggressive... I guess, being on the aggressive side himself, he could respect someone with guts. What he _didn't_ know was that with me it was just stupidity. Perhaps a touch of suicidal tendency on the side...

"Yeah, you're right. But you haven't seen some of the meals I've eaten so that ain't really sayin' anythin', sweet cheeks." he grinned, his sharp teeth glinting in a highly shark-like way. I swear, if there was such a thing as a shark/human hybrid, Kisame Hoshigaki was it. He wouldn't look out of place in an aquarium, I can tell you that for nothing! But, as happy as it would make me to tell him so, I decided to keep my lips firmly sealed on that one.

"What did I say about calling me sweet cheeks?" I growled. "My _name_ is Mizuko. Mi-zu-ko!"

"Sure thing, shortbread." Kisame chuckled, grin remaining firmly plastered to his sharky face. I bet I'm one of the few in this world who can say they've ever been sorely tempted to punch a shark before. Well... one of the few who isn't insane at least.

"Shortbread?! I'm not short! You're just huge!" I objected, although actually I _was_ quite short for my age. At nineteen, I was just over five foot and no matter how hard I insisted that this was a normal height, the fact remained that I was shorter than average. But Kisame was _massive_ so he had no right to talk about abnormal heights to _me_!

"That I am, peewee. That I am." he smirked, winking suggestively and causing me to go very red, very fast. The others laughed at my humiliation and even Itachi managed a small, amused smile but I knew that anything I said to defend myself would backfire in one of two ways; either with my eternal mortification or with a one way trip to the mort_uary_. I didn't like the sound of _either_.

"Pft... _jerks..._" I grumbled under my breath. After all, I couldn't let something like that slide without at _least_ a cursory insult.

"Don't you think you should clean up the mess you made by the way, un?" Deidara asked, pointing to the congealing raw egg on the floor. Itachi and I had managed to dance around it while we cooked the breakfast, too busy to clean it up or, after a while, even notice it was there. I _did _notice, however, that no one _else_ had offered to do it, which explained the state of the kitchen in the first place.

Glancing balefully at the offending spillage, I shrugged – I'd been planning to clean the kitchen that day anyway. It bugged me that a place of food preparation should be so filthy and I told him so in a tone of stern disapproval, to which he held his palms (and mouths) forward in a gesture of peace. A gesture marred somewhat by those pesky hand-mouths sticking their tongues out at me, something I wasn't sure if Deidara was controlling or not.

"Hey, don't look at me. _I_ didn't do it, un."

"Hmph... In any case I'll be having that cloak of yours, thanks." I replied, letting his aversion to blame drop for once. That didn't mean he was off the hook by _any_ means – he may not be the direct cause of the mess but I didn't see him cleaning it up either.

"My cloak? Why, un?" he asked, baffled by my request. Idiot... I'd told them before breakfast that I would want to borrow something. I'd _meant_ it when I said I'd be appropriating some form of clothing from one of them. And since of the men Deidara was smallest, his would fit me best.

"Because, genius, I need to wash my clothes and I refuse to walk around naked while that happens!"

"Not that you'd hear _me_ complaining." Kisame cut in lewdly. I ignored him and _tried_ to keep my colouring intact. Somehow I don't think it worked.

"And you guys are all... _taller_ and _wider_ than me, so your normal clothes won't fit. Besides, I don't fancy having any of _you_ walking around naked either." I finished, my voice holding up better than I could've hoped. I purposefully avoided the words 'bigger' and 'larger', my lesson having been learned the first time I referred to height using unspecific words.

"Actually, Mizuko, we all have spare clothes here." Tobi pointed out cheerfully. "We wouldn't have to walk around naked!"

"Nice for some, huh?" I grumbled, scowling at Deidara – after all _he_ was the one who wouldn't buy me new clothes. Him and his stupid misguided sense of manly pride! Couldn't even buy me _one_ new set of clothes. Ass hole that he was.

Deidara just smirked at me, all arrogance and nonchalance again, his disturbing attitude from last night gone with the wind. He leaned back on his chair and folded his arms behind his head, the cloak I had every intention of borrowing on him but open. Underneath he wore the black top which showed off his midriff and netting shirt I'd seen him in at Ms Miagi's Inn, and, I'm ashamed to say, I was immediately drawn to his toned abdomen. The muscles were much more pronounced than they had been the first time I saw them – probably because he was leaning back and stretching this time.

"Well?" I said scathingly, fixing my eyes firmly on his face in my most defiant glare. It would be just _too_ embarrassing if he (or anyone else) caught me staring at his exposed flesh like that; so I employed my entire stock of self-discipline to avoid it.

"Yeah, yeah. I heard ya, un." he yawned, standing and stretching – something that made looking away _extremely_ difficult, I can tell you – before slipping the cloak from his shoulders and passing it to me across the breakfast table.

To say I was thrilled about wearing an Akatsuki issue cloak was nothing short of nonsense; in fact, in a choice between the cloak or my birthday suit, the cloak only _just_ won. The thought of wearing something so symbolic of everything I abhorred about ninja life – that is to say the near constant affiliation with death and loss and pain – filled me with a sickening kind of reluctance. But I couldn't have it both ways so I'd just have to live with it. Even so, I couldn't suppress the revulsion on my face as I accepted the heavy cloak, feeling it's weight in my hands and noting, abstractly, how cosy it felt. _Evil dresses comfortably_, I thought ironically.

I looked up to thank him and my eyes widened in shock.

"Deidara!" I gasped.

He looked up and cocked his head ever so slightly, seeing my distress but not understanding it's cause. He was probably right to be confused; I mean I had no _real_ reason to be so troubled. He was an enemy and if anything I should have been pleased. Besides that, I'd seen so much worse in my time and I knew as well as the next person, the risks of being a Shinobi. It was a hard, dangerous and often brief career and even those who survived to retirement didn't make it through without a few keepsakes... But when I saw the horrid scarring on Deidara's arms, something in my chest twisted painfully – something which _shouldn't_ have twisted but did nonetheless.

"What, un?" he asked, completely oblivious to my staring. I couldn't peel my eyes away, the ugly, vibrant scars criss-crossing his otherwise smooth arms fascinating and horrifying me at the same time. It looked like a section of his right arm was scar tissue and nothing more, while his left had a clearly definable, thin red scar running around his biceps. The left wasn't _too_ bad but the right looked positively _agonising_ and my maternal side cried out to soothe it – not that I _could_ or anything, but I _wanted_ to.

"Your arms! They're... well, _that_ one looks like it's been minced and then reattached!" I exclaimed, wandering around the table to where he hadn't _quite_ managed to sit down again, indicating his right arm with an extended finger. He was half-standing, half-sitting and when I reached him he straightened, eyes gleaming with a muted interest – he was curious to see what I'd do.

I took his mutilated arm in my hands and prodded at it experimentally, feeling the rise and fall of his disfigured flesh and becoming more and more intrigued. His skin was still soft but it looked raw, like the top layer had been scrapped off to reveal the crimson under skin. The edges where this inflamed surface met the soft pink both above and below were just too perfect... too _straight_. If I looked close enough I thought I could see stitches which had started to fade and dissolve into the flesh and when I checked the other arm, I found the same thing.

"_Have_ your arms been reattached?" I questioned incredulously, looking up at him. He was frowning slightly and I realised it must have been because I was touching him, something I had never, to the best of my knowledge, done willingly and without malignant intent before – I released him immediately.

"Yeah. Fond memories, un." he muttered, rubbing the arm I'd been examining and sitting himself down. Clearly he didn't mean what he said. Whatever had happened in regards to his arms was not something he liked to recall.

"Sorry..." I whispered self-consciously, understanding that I'd entered forbidden territory. Deidara wasn't a shy man, nor was he particularly modest but I knew that even the most boisterous of people had things they didn't want to talk about.

"Don't worry about it, un." he said, his optimism returning as if it had never left. I blinked, startled as usual by his ability to change moods within milliseconds – he was worse than _me_ and at least I had the excuse of being a woman! "By the way, Tobi and me are going out for a bit this morning so these two are taking over guard duty. Behave while we're gone, un."

"Do I have a choice?" I grumbled. I wasn't as totally opposed to being left with Itachi and Kisame as I'd thought I would be – probably something to do with me and Itachi's 'bonding' this morning – but I still didn't like it. I'd only seen them twice before and I still didn't know them very well. For all I knew they might try to kill me the second Deidara left and that would be just a tad problematic. Not just for me but for my little visitor outside.

"If you had a choice you wouldn't be _here_, would you, princess?" Kisame grinned, the satirical touch to his tone making my hackles rise. This shark-man combo really knew how to stamp right on my nerves! "But as a matter of fact you _do_ have a choice; behave or have your legs chopped off by my Samehada."

"Oh I'm spoiled for variety! How _ever_ will I decide?" I cried sarcastically, pushing away from the table and stomping to the door. Just before I crossed the threshold I turned and glowered at each of the men in turn – excluding Itachi, of course – making sure they each knew how much I loathed my restricted freedom. Not that they give a tiny rat's ass.

I was barely out of the door when Kisame's rumbling laughter shook through the room, as amused by my '_spirit'_ as ever. I _knew_ I was meant to hear it and it set my teeth on edge to have him poke fun at me like that. Mainly because now _he'd_ had the last word and had thus won our spats.

"She's a fiery one alright. You're a lucky guy, Deidara." he chortled. Despite myself I blushed, fists clenching at my sides as I imagined wrapping my hands around his throat and throttling him to within an inch of his miserable life... obviously my hands would have to grow considerably to manage such a task but it was a nice fantasy to entertain for a few seconds. I could _swear_ I heard Deidara's meek retort soon after, just before I climbed the stairs.

"You wouldn't say that if you were me, un."

/\

The rest of my day was spent cleaning and fretting over my visitor. I wasn't a fan of chores – I'd like to meet a single person who_ was_ – but they kept my hands busy while allowing my mind to wander. In other words it didn't look suspicious that my face was a mask of focus and consternation. To the average spectator it would look like I was merely concentrating on my task while maintaining a stern disapproval at the absolute _state_ the house was in. And when I paused in my business to dwell on the bleak situation I found myself in, it looked like I was just taking a break.

The truth was I was waiting desperately for an opportunity to slip into the forest and meet with my would-be rescuer. They were close, I knew; close enough that they could get to me quickly and easily if there was trouble but far enough that no one could detect the chakra signature when they used the Wind Jutsu earlier – the only reason _I'd_ known was because that Jutsu was specially developed by my visitor as a signal for stealth missions. Or so they'd told me anyway.

Deidara and Tobi had left, as they'd said they would, just after breakfast that morning. When they'd be back, I had no idea and in truth I didn't care – what I _did_ care about was whether or not they'd found my visitor on their way. I thought not because one thing's for sure, they'd have made a big fuss over it and I'd have been in some form of trouble. But then again, maybe it wasn't that big a deal for them to just kill intruders off and be done with it.

My main concern was that Kisame might find them. After an hour of watching me totter about the kitchen in Deidara's cloak, scrubbing the floor and cooker, washing the dishes and doing my best to clean the windows without the aid of window polish, Kisame left through the sliding back door with a vague call over his shoulder about going fishing at the lake. He headed in a northerly direction and I'm not sure how that information would help me any but knowledge is power and I needed as much of it as I could get.

So for the better part of the day it had just been me and the Uchiha – ironic or what?

It didn't terrify me as much as I'd have thought. In fact it was almost as if he wasn't even there, though I was smart enough to know that would not be the case. I mean all _four_ of them gone at the same time and leaving me by myself? Not likely. So _unlikely_ in fact that it made my chances of hitting a moving target over ten meters away look _good_. No, Itachi was very much present – not visible but present. There were times when I felt him watching me and I'd turn to look for him, but not even _once_ did I catch a glance of him. During these brief almost-encounters I was reminded of how superior he was as a ninja and I had a feeling their purpose was to alert me to the fact that he was still around, ready to incapacitate me if I tried anything funny.

After the kitchen I moved on to the hall, which for the most part was already tidy but was in desperate need of a good dusting. I cleared away the cobwebs and used some of the spare cloths I'd had Kisame fetch for me earlier to spruce up the floor a little. I cleaned up the staircase and the upstairs hall too, before moving on to my bedroom and making it a little more suited to my comfort by shaking out the musty rug and bedspread and doing some general maintenance. I then hunted down the bathrooms – one upstairs and one downstairs, the door closest to the kitchen – and when at last that was done I decided to brave the final room.

It had taken me a long time and by this point it was well into the afternoon. My clothes were out drying on a makeshift line made from kunai and wire borrowed from Itachi, and Deidara's cloak had long since become itchy and uncomfortable, it's thick folds making it difficult to manoeuvre and tripping me up if I lost concentration for even a second. I'd promised myself that I would have a long hot shower later after dinner and the thought had spurred me on all day, seeing me through the worst of the mess. That and the fact that each second that went by marked a second more my visitor had gone undiscovered.

I entered the mystery room with care, having seen one too many traps behind such doors in the past (I know, I know. It wasn't likely that they'd set a trap up _within_ their own hideout; around it, certainly but not _in_. You can never be too careful though.) and was faced on the other side with none other than Itachi himself. He was sat unblinkingly in the corner near the window on my left and did little more to acknowledge my presence than a very slight twitch of his head in my direction. His eyes were black as pitch and empty of anything even close to an emotion, and for a moment I was mesmerised, amazed that any human could be so totally blank.

The room itself was a sitting room of sorts, with a large couch against the back wall and two armchairs placed strategically in the corners. A burgundy rug dominated the floor space and there wasn't much else to write home about. But surprisingly it was all _clean_. If I didn't know any better I'd say Itachi had tidied it for me... which was a very peculiar idea, almost as paradoxical as Hidan in the painter's dungarees.

"Er... Did you...?" I asked hesitantly, still not able to master the art of full sentences when I spoke to the legendary ex-Leaf ninja.

He nodded, meeting my eyes and holding me there with something that wasn't quite fear nor quite respect but a delicate mixture of the two. He was a strange man, this Uchiha – too civilised to be evil, to evil to be civilised. And for the first time ever, I actually wished that Kisame was back; Itachi wasn't as scary with his six foot pal around.

"Take a seat, Mizuko." Itachi offered, his hand extending towards the couch in a gesture that wasn't friendly but not entirely unfriendly either. And this time it wasn't an order – he was truly asking me, instead of just telling me.

So I sat. And in the awkward silence that followed, on my part nervousness, on Itachi's surprise that I'd accepted his offer, I really wished I hadn't. I was very uncomfortably aware that beneath Deidara's cloak I had only underwear on and this was not the way I'd rather be dressed while in the presence of an alleged maniac. Not only that but I was afraid he would pick up on my anxiousness and ask me what I was worried about. If he did there was a possibility he might be able to squeeze the information about my visitor from me – apparently Itachi Uchiha had a nack for data gathering.

"You're frightened of me." he stated suddenly, breaking into my thoughts with his stoic observation. It wasn't a question and I didn't try to deny it. Why bother when it was as plain as day? I'd relaxed marginally around him but I couldn't be expected to let go of a fear that strong in one sitting.

"Yes." I whispered, looking down at my hands. They were dirty and calloused from all my hard work, throbbing a bit too and shaking just a little. After all, this was the first time we'd spoken without the presence of the others.

"Why?"

I looked up, shocked that he would even need to ask such a question. _Why_? Wasn't it obvious? Why was the lamb afraid of the wolf? Why was the antelope afraid of the lion? Why did any prey fear a predator? Because they were _superior_. Because they could end the prey's life without a second thought, without breaking a sweat and without hesitation. Because to feel anything _but_ fear would mean instantaneous death. And as the helpless prey in this situation I _knew_ that.

"Well... Your profile... your abilities... your clan..." I muttered almost incoherently. He understood what I meant at least because his eyes closed gently and his head nodded slightly, as if the few words I'd said made perfect sense. Clearly he was used to this sort of reaction, which struck me as strange because I doubted there were many circumstances such as mine – in which someone lived long enough to really voice their opinion of him.

I suddenly felt really bad; as if I'd insulted him in some way that was totally below the belt. I picked at the hem of Deidara's cloak guiltily for a few seconds, internally marvelling at the fact that his status as a deadly missing nin made me feel no less rotten. Itachi had murdered his own clan; betrayed his village; committed countless evils whilst a part of the Akatsuki – not least of which, kidnapping me – and yet I felt _I_ was at fault for fearing him.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted, unable to hold the apology back despite knowing I had absolutely nothing to apologise for. _He_ was the one who'd done those things, not me. _He_ was the one who'd earned himself such a fearsome reputation in the ninja circles. But for some reason _I_ felt the regret.

"Why do you apologise? You're right to fear me. I was merely curious about the precise motives for that fear." Itachi replied calmly. He was staring at me now, appraising me with those eyes of black intellect like I was a specimen who'd just twitched when I was supposed to be dead, and for the life of me I couldn't think of a single thing to say back. Mainly because I wasn't sure what to make of his logic but also because his sharp, unblinking scrutiny was unnerving me – it felt like he was peeling away the scraps of my soul and reading into my most private thoughts. If it went on much longer I was sure he'd end up knowing everything there was to know about me.

"I'm not sure... It just... felt like something I should do." I murmured quietly, avoiding his direct gaze through habit; wouldn't want to be caught in that Sharingan technique of his. Although I wasn't foolish enough to believe that merely avoiding eye contact would be enough to save me if he decided to harm me.

All was quiet for a while, neither of us knowing how to respond or whether we should bother at all. I was pretty sure at this point that there was nothing I could say to break the tension which had suddenly filled the room and I knew _he _wouldn't be inclined to. Being who he was, he'd probably grown quite used to awkward silences. Just as I was wondering whether or not it would be rude to just leave, he surprised me – as he did often, I found – and spoke once more.

"If anyone should apologise," he said abruptly, the unexpectedness of his voice cutting the air and making me look up at last. "it should be me. Both for the things I've done already and for the things I may yet have to do. You've done nothing to deserve such treatment; it was simply your fate. And for that I am... sorry."

With that he stood, leaving me to wallow in the depth of his words. I understood them well enough and – shockingly – it wasn't his unofficial apology that hit me hardest, though that was certainly something to think about. It was the subtle hint of terrible things to come that caught my attention. He had not quite threatened me but at the same time he'd made it absolutely clear there would be dire consequences if I put a foot wrong.

_Both for the things I've done already and for the things I may yet have to do_...

/\

It must have been nearly dinner time when I reckoned it was worth it to chance seeing my visitor. Deidara and Tobi were still nowhere to be seen and, after a courageous attempt to quiz Itachi on the matter earlier, I learned that they were off doing errands in the nearby village – namely collecting provisions for the house. I hoped that by provisions he meant 'food' because after breakfast I'd had to starve all day owing to the lack of edibles in the place.

Kisame too had remained gone throughout the entirety of the day and this I used to my advantage in my bid to seek out my visitor. I'd come up with a simple little plan to get me out of the house without raising suspicion and with any luck the Uchiha would buy it; I just had to pray my skills as an actress were more impressive than my skills as a ninja. Though I did have a great advantage in that acting bored wasn't much of a challenge in a place as drawl as this.

Finding Itachi was almost a mission in itself and I have a feeling it was only by sheer luck I caught him as he headed like a silent wraith up the stairs. If I were given to such fanciful notions, I might have believed he was floating or gliding across the floor, as noiselessly graceful as he was. But I'd given up fairytales a long time ago and the truth was much less magical if still a tad impressive – such was the capability of a competent Shinobi.

"Um... Itachi?" I asked hesitantly, stopping at the foot of the stairs to look up at him nervously. He paused and stared back, totally unblinking in that unnatural cross between disinterest and intellectual curiosity. He wouldn't respond to my call with words – of this I was fairly certain; Itachi struck me (correctly so, I think) as a man of little words. It was part of his mystique, I guess. So, once sure I had his attention, I moved on without pause.

"Is it... alright with you if... if I went out to find Kisame?" I probed anxiously, trying to sound natural but coming across flustered and uncomfortable – and therein lay the beauty of my plan. You see, I'd known instantly that sounding casual would not only be impossible for me, but would impair the authenticity of my request more than if I were to sound stressed. Factoring in Itachi's high IQ, it made sense that he'd become suspicious if the fear I held for him – the very fear we'd even discussed that day – were to suddenly disappear. Even if casual _was_ best, I had an irritating glitch in my system that produced the complete opposite of the desired result in matters such as these.

Therefore, my plan was thus: feign boredom and ask if I can go look for Kisame whilst at the same time trying to remain casual about it, which in turn assures that I sound stressed and banishes any need for skepticism on Itachi's part. Or something to that effect.

As I'd expected Itachi was a little nonplussed by my request. Not because of any lack of fear on _my_ part, you understand – I played the part of the edgy hostage beautifully. And why shouldn't I? It was largely true. No, it wasn't doubt over whether I was being genuine or not which threw him, although if I didn't play my part carefully it could very well end up that way. It was the _nature _of my query which caused him some confusion. Can't say I was surprised – they didn't call him a genius for nothing.

Now for the tricky part – trying not to blow my cover with stupid, unnecessary talking. I needed to get him to let me go as quickly as possible because the longer I stood around talking the more suspect I'd look. There was no need to rush things however; I would let _him_ make the next move.

"You want to spend time with Kisame?" he asked dubiously at last, his tone taking on more emotion than I'd ever seen in him – that is, if you count incredulity as an emotion. He had every right to be skeptical. I mean, Kisame and I weren't what you'd call the best of buddies; I'd made no secret of my contempt for him and, in fact, had displayed that very contempt as flamboyantly as possible at every opportunity. For me to suddenly desire his company was nothing short of unbelievable.

"Not really," I answered honestly, wringing my hands nervously. "I just want something to do... I'm bored." I added meekly, hoping I wasn't being too obvious.

"I see..." he said slowly, his voice giving away nothing but his harsh eyes telling me everything. He wasn't buying it – at _all_. Perhaps I'd laid the fear thing on too thick? Or maybe he was just too smart for me to ever outwit him for even a moment. As much as it burned me to admit it, it was more likely to be the latter. I wasn't stupid – in fact my intellect was probably one of the only reasons I'd made it this far as a Shinobi – but against such brain-box powerhouses as Itachi Uchiha I was about as dimwitted as Hiroshi on a bad day. Which was _something,_ I can tell you!

"I take that look you're giving me to mean 'no'." I muttered, sullenness tinting my cautionary tone just slightly. I kicked aimlessly at the ground not sure what to do next – it was imperative that I spoke with my visitor, preferably _before_ one of the roaming Akatsuki members stumbled across them. But if I pushed my case further I could jeopardise any future attempts as well.

"No... I'll allow it. Bear in mind, however, that I _will_ check with Kisame that you made contact with him before your return." he said quietly, studying me closely as though waiting for something. And I'm not so dumb as to not know what that something was. He was waiting for a sign. Some tell-tale visual observation which would tell him not all was as it appeared – thus I had to be extra careful with my expression to keep the intense excitement I felt from my face.

I nodded non-committally and headed for the door, keeping my pace steady and laid back. Too fast and I'd be busted for being too excited to see a missing nin I was meant to hate. Conversely, too slow and I'd be busted for having the worst acting skills in history and overcompensating for my zeal. Whatever the balance was meant to be, I must have got it spot on because I made it all the way to the door without a hitch. Then...

"Mizuko." Itachi stopped me, his use of my name making me shiver uncomfortably. It sounded like he was reading a name on a tombstone! Clearly the connotations of that spoke for themselves. "Note also that I will take a dim view of any escape attempts or otherwise rebellious behaviour of any kind."

I gulped. He may be a man of little words but he had a certain poetic flair for subtle intimidation tactics. Itachi Uchiha knew his language skills...

"I... understand." I stammered, feeling the sweat bead on the back of my neck.

I left quickly after that, not wanting to be in the same room as him any longer; he was just too scary. Seriously, I'd have felt more comfortable talking to the Grim Reaper – at least then I'd know my death would be swift and painless.

_C'mon, Mizuko. He's not _that_ bad, _I tried to console myself, passing through the 'garden' in the same northerly direction Kisame had left in earlier (see! Told you knowledge was power!), on the off chance Itachi happened to be watching. _You said so yourself, he's more polite than all the other Akatsuki members put together._ I snorted at my inner self cynically. _Yeah, so's the devil!_

I checked my clothes as I passed, hoping they'd be dry so that I could get changed before disappearing to meet my visitor, who would no doubt have some questions to ask if I showed up looking like the newest addition to the Akatsuki ranks. They wouldn't judge me based on my appearance – this person had known me long enough to know I'd never do such a thing – but it would save a lot of time if we could skip the long winded explanation of why I was dressed like a fugitive.

Unfortunately, as if God himself had heard my prayer and, hating me as he did, used his divine power once again to make my life as miserable as it could possibly be, my clothes were just damp enough as to be unwearable. So it looked like I'd have to explain myself a bit... But the worse part would come after, when I went to get Kisame. He would have more exceptionally perverted comments ready about how there were men who _paid _for the privilege of a girl in nothing but a cloak and her underwear. And _this_ time I'd be ready – I'd tell him precisely where to go.

I stopped, frowning internally. _When I go get Kisame?_ I wasn't going to be meeting Kisame ever again! This was my time – I was going _home._ The thought was strange... surreal. How peculiar that it should only occur to me _now_ what this appearance meant, when I'd been waiting rigidly for it's very occurrence since my meeting with Hiroshi. With new-found rigour I approached the border of the forest, anticipation coiling in my stomach and granting a strength I hadn't felt in months to my limbs.

Soon I was engulfed by forest, the lush trees filtering out the sunlight and replacing it with a cool, green twilight. Around me the dead leaves from last fall crinkled under my feet and the grass whispered it's soft secrets, teaching me about the forest in the most refined of ways. It had rained not long ago; the earth was moist and soft, perfect for new shoots. Birds sang in the quiet peace of the late afternoon and small animals could be heard scuttling around in the bushes, probably gathering food for their new young. And, although my situation was no less bleak than it had been before, I felt strangely content in my surroundings. This was nature at it's greatest; art at it's finest; life at it's fullest. How could I feel down when I was able to see such otherworldly beauty as this?

The wonders of the world were some of the most miraculous and yet also some of the least appreciated. I think that's what drew me to it, in all truth. I liked the idea of seeing things few others could see, of admiring things others took for granted. When it got right down to it, the natural world was the people's source of strength; without it we would die, as surely as a tree without sunlight. There would be no food, no materials for our homes and possessions... there would be nothing, if you really thought about it. And yet how many would take time in their day to simply enjoy it's presence? How many would stop in their travels to marvel at the intricate design of a spider web, or the muted power of the open ocean? Not many, that's for sure. But _I_ would.

I paused as the need to breathe it all in took hold, my heart swelling with a certain gratefulness that only came with the realisation that you were one of the luckiest people in the world. Figuratively speaking of course... Literally, my luck stunk worse than month old fish.

"Admiring the forest, Mizu? Some things never change I guess." I grinned widely at the familiar voice, my heart jumping happily as I turned to face none other than my visitor, fervently glad that he was still here and had not given up.

Before me stood a young man no older than myself, mere inches taller than me and with a physique that could almost be classed as wiry. His long, straight hair was royal blue and his eyes were like coal, intelligent like Itachi's but infinitely warmer. His skin was pale as chalk and unblemished, his cheeks high and prominent and if not for his deep, smooth voice, he could easily be mistaken as a woman. But, for all his appearances, this man was a force to be reckoned with – a Jounin, a prodigy and, most significantly, my friend and team mate. Naoku Nashigama.

"Nao! Still sneaking up on people I see. You're right; some things never change." I agreed, wrapping my long unseen team member in a bear hug. He patted my back amiably but that was the extent of his enthusiasm as far as hugging went – Naoku wasn't one for physical contact. "It's good to see you, Nao. Hiroshi told me you were the one who convinced the elders to let him look for me. Thanks." I smiled, stepping back again.

"Don't mention it. It didn't take much convincing actually. All I had to do was point out that if you _were_ alive, your abilities were too valuable to relinquish without a fight." he shrugged, brushing it off indifferently as was his custom. I laughed softly, his methodical view of the event reminding me of his somewhat systematic, highly disciplined personality. It was this way of scoping all possibilities that had earned him the rank of Jounin.

"Gee thanks. And here I thought you just missed me and were worried about me!" I chuckled, crossing my arms over my chest in mock hurt.

"What's to miss? I found the irritating qualities about you that I _might_ come to miss with time in Hiroshi. All your disappearance _really_ meant was half the headache." he smirked minutely, his almost cruel synopsis of my kidnap softened by the playful twinkle in his eyes.

"That was a tad harsh don't you think? Some things _really_ never change!" I pouted, punching his arm with another grin.

"Other things _do_, it seems." another voice snapped irritably from behind me. It was equally familiar and even more beloved, even as morphed by anger as it was.

"Hiroshi!" I squealed excitedly, spinning and spotting my best friend in the boughs of a nearby tree. He had his arms crossed tightly as though he were restraining himself, an enraged scowl on his face that stopped me short but didn't erase the joy I felt at his presence. I hardly felt it was necessary to ask but for the sake of saying _something_ I asked anyway. "What's the matter, Hiro?"

"Have you _seen_ what you're wearing?" he growled, hopping down from the tree and marching right up to me. He poked me harshly in the chest, disgust pouring off him in waves as he eyed Deidara's cloak with distaste. I couldn't blame him either. Hiroshi was... a little sensitive when it came to Akatsuki. I didn't know why – for whatever reason, he'd never seen fit to tell me – but he hated them more than was natural. So to see me dressed in their uniform would cause him a little distress.

"Hiroshi!" Naoku said harshly, moving forward to place himself by my side. I was glad; he was willing to at _least_ give me the chance to explain myself. Of as all, Naoku had always been the more level-headed. "I told you _I'd _handle this. There's probably a good reason she's wearing the cloak. Right, Mizuko?"

"Yeah. I-," I began but Hiroshi wasn't finished yet.

"A good reason?! There's _never_ a reason good enough to dress like one of those monsters! What were you thinking Mizuko? Do you realise that if we'd been any one else you'd be labelled a traitor?!" he yelled in my face. I hung my head, unable to look him in the eye. He was right – if they'd been any other ninja I'd be cast out of the village and hunted like a dog.

"Hiroshi, enough. Give her a chance to explain." Naoku insisted, putting a warning hand on his shoulder. It was clear Naoku was getting serious now – he'd never consent to touch Hiroshi otherwise.

"Explain what?! Why she's dressed like a traitor?! Why she's set to follow the same path as-,"

"Hiroshi! That. Is. Enough!" Naoku shouted, surprising me with his sudden increase in volume and ferocity. It was rare that Naoku raised his voice. Rarer still that it should be in anger against one of his own friends. It shocked me such that I forgot about what Hiroshi had been about to say, which was most unfortunate as it was knowledge I could have done with later.

"I am the commanding Jounin on this mission and I am ordering you to hold your tongue while Mizuko explains herself. Is that clear?" Naoku spat, his eyes narrowed, his voice dangerously low and his fists clenched. Hiroshi glared back but submitted, nodding irately while keeping his lips sealed. It hurt me to have him mad at me like that. Cut me real deep. But needs must; I _had_ to wear the cloak. And as soon as I told him the story he'd understand... I hoped. "Go on, Mizuko. Tell us."

"Right." I sighed. And I told them. I told them everything, from the last meeting I'd had with Hiroshi to the present day, omitting, of course, the parts that really _would_ make me look like a traitor. I noted, with ever growing trepidation, that there were far more of these instances than I was comfortable acknowledging.

By the end of my speech, my two team mates were – if possible – even more confused than before. And why shouldn't they be? It sounded far-fetched enough that I'd been kidnapped in the first place; added to that the many strange circumstances surrounding my imprisonment... Well it made for an interesting fairy tale, that was certain!

"So let me get this straight; a member of a deadly criminal gang just _gave_ you his cloak? And they let you use the _washing machine_ to clean your own clothes?" Hiroshi asked incredulously. He and Naoku shared a look of dubious concern and I wasn't sure what upset them more; Deidara giving me his cloak or Akatsuki possessing something as mundane as a washing machine. I decided it was a bad idea to tell them they had a cooker and breakfast table – that _might_ throw them over the edge.

"You know me, Hiroshi. They may be super ninja but I'm super _woman_. They wanted to make looking after me as easy as possible, so they did whatever it took to make that happen. Besides that doesn't matter any more, does it? I'm going home; _we're_ going home!" I squeaked, jumping onto Hiroshi in a bone crushing hug.

So wrapped up in my own celebrations was I that it took me a few seconds to realise neither Hiroshi nor Naoku were joining in my merriment. In fact, the atmosphere had taken on an icy discomfort that pierced my heart with a disappointment so strong, I felt like collapsing. It was unmistakable what this awkward silence between us meant – there was only one thing it _could_ mean. And as I slowly came to my senses, each second adding another dash of reality to the situation, I let my arms drop heavily from Hiroshi's waist.

"I'm not going home, am I?" I whispered sadly, backing away from my team mates and hanging my head miserably. Tears formed in my eyes as the horrible truth hit me like a tonne of bricks – my village was abandoning me. They were leaving me here to be killed by Akatsuki rather than risk anymore ninja against them. It made sense in a twisted, painful way. Gramps had told me a story once about how he'd been forced to abandon his closest comrade when he was a young man. I'd been horrified and I'd cried, telling him what a terrible human being he was. I still remember his words to this day.

_/_- _Flash Back – \_

_ "H-how could you d-do that to a f-f-friend?!" I wailed, wiping my eyes as the wetness soaked my little face. Gramps patted my back consolingly but I shrugged him off, weeping into my arm like a toddler who'd lost their toy._

_ "There, there, Mizu-hime. Ninja must all make hard decisions some day. Abandoning my comrade like that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do." he told me gently, pulling me into a warm hug that I felt bad for drawing comfort from._

_ "T-then why did you d-d-do it?!" I stuttered through my breathless sobs._

_ "Because I had to. In the ninja world, Mizu-hime, there are rules. One of them is to always do what is best for the mission; what is best for the village. That mission was of utmost importance to our village's well-being. One life in exchange for many...even though he was my closest friend it was a sacrifice I _had_ to make."_

_ "I'll never do th-that." I vowed, hiccuping. "If I had to choose between Hiroshi and some dumb ol' mission I'd choose Hiroshi. He's my best friend and I'd never leave him like that!"_

_ Gramps chuckled, his voice deep and rumbling, amused by my childlike resilience._

_ "I pray you're never faced with that choice, my hime."_

_/\_

_ Well, Gramps_. I thought sorrowfully, letting my tears drop to the grassy forest floor. _Looks like I _am_ being faced with that decision. Only _I'm _not the one who made it..._

"We're sorry, Mizuko... We tried but... but the elders said it was too good an opportunity to pass up." Hiroshi tried to soothe me, putting a hand on my shoulder just as Gramps had done back then. He sounded as heartbroken as I felt, all previous anger at me forgotten

"Let me guess," I whispered. "They want me to pass on information on Akatsuki while I'm their prisoner, right?"

"Right." Naoku confirmed, coming to my side but – as usual – avoiding physical contact. It was his way of comforting me and I smiled as best I could at him, to let him know his effort was recognised and appreciated.

But I was gutted; totally _devastated_. The elders were risking my life just so they could get a little extra dirt on the Akatsuki – dirt that would do them no good and would probably never be used. It was _beyond_ betrayal. How could they justify such an action? What if I died? What if Naoku or Hiroshi – for that was surely why they were here – got caught transporting the information I retrieved? This was something I could never forgive.

"It's alright Mizuko." Hiroshi murmured, wrapping me in a hug. I broke my heart on his shoulder as he rubbed my back in calming circles. "Wherever you are I'll be near; I'm not leaving you again. If you need me, I'll be there in a flash. Naoku will run between us and the village with the information and as soon as things get dicey we'll get you out of here. I promise."

His promise made me feel better, if only a little. But the fact remained, my feelings toward my village had been damaged beyond repair by this day. When this was all over I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to stand living there again...

**Sorry for the longer wait guys. I've been really busy lately with starting Uni and stuff, so I haven't really had a chance to write much. And not to rub salt into the wound or anything but it'll probably be like this from now on.**

**Anyway, I bet you weren't expecting _both_ of her team mates, huh? I said Hiroshi didn't use wind – I didn't say he wasn't there. :P However, congratulations to the clever person who guessed that the wind user was Naoku. Well done, skyekoto00!**

**Reviews are much appreciated remember. **hint hint****


	19. Verbal Ping Pong

You know that feeling you get when you've been kicked right in the gut? And then stomped on by a giant wearing steel boots? No? Well neither do I. But I'll give you an example of what it _might _feel like. It _might_ be similar to the feeling you get when the equivalent of your entire family turn their backs on you. It _might_ be the knowledge that you came _so_ close to freedom – close enough to taste it on the tip of your _tongue_ – and had it ripped from under you like a rug. And, my friends, it _might_ be the feeling you get when you walk back into the presence of a psychotic, satirical shark-man when you thought you were free of him forever.

Yup. If I had to guess, I'd say _that's_ what getting kicked in the gut and stomped on by a giant wearing steel boots would feel like. The water I thought I'd been treading up till this point had just turned in to a frickin' tsunami. And guess what? I didn't have _gills_. Unlike, it should be stated, my very aquatic looking companion.

After a short – emphasis on _short_ – catch up session with Naoku and Hiroshi, in which I'd mostly cried over the total injustice of my village, I'd had to love them and leave them to return to Akatsuki before my absence could be noticed. And, although all I _really_ wanted to do was curl up in bed under the semi-cosy quilt, I had no choice but head to the lake where Kisame was fishing. Itachi had specifically told me he'd talk to Kisame about my whereabouts – therefore the longer I spent with the mist nin, the safer my story would be.

So here I was; 'enjoying' the feeling of the cool sparkling lake water around my ankles as Kisame sat almost tranquilly on the bank beside me, waiting patiently for a bite on his makeshift fishing pole – a long, sturdy stick with wire from his ninja gear wrapped around the end. Apart from the swift and highly caustic greetings (more like ritual insults), neither of us had spoken for a while. I was much too distracted by the dull throbbing in my chest and Kisame... well, fishing was a very calming sport. Strange that the butch master of sarcasm and sadism should enjoy something that didn't involve crude jokes or amputated limbs, but there you go.

It may have been hours – though it was probably only minutes – but after a time that felt like an age, Kisame deigned to speak to me again. More surprising was the fact that his sentence didn't contain the slightest edge of mocking about it – though he _still_ managed to sound amused by something, much to my annoyance.

"What's the matter, sweet cheeks? You don't seem your usual, chipper self." he probed tactlessly, either unwilling or unable to display any kind of concern, never shifting his eyes from the wide lake and his fishing rod. I'll give him this; he was a dedicated fisher. Kinda ironic, hm? A shark who likes to fish.

"I don't know what you mean." I grumbled, undulating my feet through the water slightly and sending little waves skipping over the surface. I refused to meet his eye because I knew what I'd see there – blatant, unadulterated skepticism. He didn't believe me for even a second and I could feel that disbelief in the very air around us.

"Save it, princess. Your bad vibes are scaring away the fish – so tell me, what's up?" he persisted, giving my shoulder a hearty clap that very nearly dislocated it. I rubbed my joint feverishly, trying to massage the feeling back into it while I treated him to an irritated scowl that, predictably, had absolutely no effect on him.

Still, I was impressed. On the outside he seemed like little more than a muscle-bound thug whose only concern was where his next victim was coming from, and to a degree that was true – he _was _all those things - but actually, he was fairly perceptive; he'd picked up on my glum mood where someone like Deidara probably wouldn't. That, or he was being serious when he said my waves of misery were scaring away the fish.

"I was just thinking." I muttered evasively. I don't know why I bothered – anyone could see that I was going to end up telling him anyway. I was just dragging the whole thing out. _How pathetic,_ I thought dryly.

"About..." he nudged, refusing to give up, as I'd _known_ would be the case. I sighed. _Let's get this over __with._

"What... what if my village... the Village Hidden in the Waterfall... what if they've abandoned me?" I whispered, taking care to say '_what if_' rather than '_they have_'. Makes it look like it's unknown territory to me, which is exactly what I wanted. Wouldn't want to raise unnecessary questions by having them savvy to the fact that I _knew_ my village had abandoned me.

"_That's_ what you're worried about? No offence, princess, but if your village abandons you then you're better off without 'em. Who'd wanna be associated with a bunch of turncoats?" he snorted, readjusting his bulk on the bank so he could sit more comfortably. "Besides what's it matter now? You've got a new path to walk."

"Turncoats, huh?" I mused, mulling over his harsh but fair evaluation of the 'possibility'. "Like _you_ can talk. I bet you'd sooner go fishing than lend a hand to an Akatsuki member in need."

"Damn straight." he grinned evilly, savouring a moment of vicious pleasure before levelling his tone and becoming marginally serious again. "It's different for me though. I've been a missing nin for years now; I'm used to watching my own back and my own back alone."

"Hmm..." I drawled contemplatively, thinking about that for a second. I flicked aimlessly at a particularly long blade of grass, watching it bend in the force of my strike before bouncing back to it's original position. "In any case you're right; what does it matter now?" I sighed forlornly. "I _have_ got a new path to walk. And do you know where it leads?" I asked with a hint of self-mocking in my voice. I didn't give him the chance to answer. "The executioner's block."

Kisame shrugged – I hadn't expected him to care all that much. Like he said, he was used to the life of a missing nin. That meant caring for no one but himself, living for nothing but his own interests and relying on naught but his own company. I couldn't blame him either – with each passing second since the dreadful revelation delivered by my friends, I'd found that lifestyle more and more appealing. After all, if I'd been alone I'd have had nothing to mourn over.

"It comes to the best of us, little lady. You knew the risks when you became a Shinobi; this is the reward we all face some day." he said sagely. His wisdom was enlightening but unexpected in the extreme – who'd've thought someone like Kisame Hoshigaki could be so knowledgeable? "But if it makes you feel any better, I'll miss ya. You've got spunk kid; I respect that. And just between us, you're way more fun than the wet blankets in the organisation."

"Glad I'm such a good source of entertainment for you, shark-boy!" I pouted, the smile I was trying to hide breaking through like the sun through the clouds. I couldn't help it; his cheeky summary was just the ticket to cheering me up. He made me feel... not _needed_ but... _valuable_. Like I was worth something. Like my death would not go unnoticed. He made me feel how my village _should_ have been making me feel. And whether because he had this ability to make me feel worthwhile or because I was seeing a depth he had not previously displayed, I found myself developing a new, if somewhat grudging, measure of respect for the six foot shark. But no matter how much I respected him, he would _always_ be an ass in my book.

Kisame let out a rumbling laugh just as there was a jerk on his fishing line. Simultaneously, he spoke to me and hauled in the line, doing so as effortlessly as if there was nothing heavier or more resistant than a paperweight attached to the end.

"There's the fighter I remember. See? Told you the fish didn't like your mood."

He hauled the fish – a generously sized perch – from the water and it landed splashing and wheezing onto the bank. Untying it quickly and skilfully, Kisame left it flopping beside a small pile of already dead fish that he'd caught before my arrival. Mostly they were bream and perch but I spotted a solitary trout as well and I smiled gratefully at the good haul – if nothing else went right today, at least I could eat tonight.

"Hey, Kisame?" I asked suddenly, deciding to take this once in a lifetime opportunity to do a little digging. Naoku had already left with what little information I could give him but there was no harm getting a head start on the next installment, right? Besides, who knew when there'd ever be a calm like this between me and an Akatsuki member again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?" he replied curiously, re-baiting his line and casting it into the cool water once more.

"Why is Itachi... the way he is?" I finished lamely, unsure how to phrase my question adequately. Actually, I hadn't been one hundred percent sure what it was I was going to ask until I said it. Not surprising then, that the blue man eyed me uncomprehendingly for a second, his eyebrows creased in complete lack of understanding. It was about what I predicted – even _I_ didn't know where I was going with this.

"I don't get your meaning." he frowned, settling on the bank again. _Now _there's_ a shock!_

"What I mean is... Well Itachi's a pretty scary guy. But he's got the most perfect manners I've ever heard! And underneath that he... I dunno... it's like he's cutting himself off from everyone. Like he's keeping everyone at a carefully calculated distance and he only does what he _has_ to do – like a machine or something. It's a little freaky." I explained to the best of my ability. I wasn't sure whether I'd just chased my own tail there or whether I'd actually made some sense of the convoluted question, but either way Kisame made a low humming in his throat and considered my riddle carefully.

After some intense internal thought – which must have _hurt –_ he replied, employing some of that sharky wisdom he'd been using all day.

"That's a tough one. Itachi's a hard guy to figure out and he ain't the touchy feely type; he doesn't just tell you stuff like that. As long as I've known him he's always been a bit on the stoic side. _A lot_ on the stoic side actually. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say it has something to do with his clan and more importantly his little brother, Sasuke. Not that he'd ever admit it."

"Sasuke? The way I understood it, Itachi couldn't give a monkeys about him." I mused interestedly, trying not to make it look like the info was of any importance. On sudden inspiration, I tried a new tactic to throw the light of suspicion off. "_No one_ should anymore, traitorous, good for nothing git that he is." I added viciously, hoping the very _slight_ change of subject would cover my tracks. I'd heard all about the 'last' Uchiha's betrayal and how that poor boy – Naruto, I think his name was – had dedicated himself to redeeming his friend's pathetic, unworthy ass.

"Maybe... then again maybe not. With Itachi who can say? I'm just saying that's what _I_ think." Kisame shrugged, looking for all the world like either way suited him fine.

I made a non-committal noise in my throat, returning my attention to my soaking feet – that was plenty. The way things looked, I'd have _more_ than enough time to gather information on Akatsuki; too much time actually. There was no need to rush things. Especially as I wasn't feeling all that loyal to my village at the moment anyway. Besides, pressing any further really _would_ get me into trouble.

For the rest of the afternoon, Kisame and I sat in a comfortable yet odd companionable silence. He continued to fish, content to enjoy his sport in silence while I contemplated what could possibly be in store for me now; where would this messed up path I'd been dragged down lead to? Was I _really_ destined for death, just like that? Was that all there was to my existence?

Sure, I'd always _known_ death was on the cards for me – even before this joke of a horror story had started to unfold, it was something I'd had to accept as part and partial of ninja life. It was simply the way things were and nothing I did could change that. But I guess, like the increasingly naïve child I was discovering I was, I'd always imagined my death... I dunno... _meaning_ something. Nothing big, like the death of a Kage or a Daimyo but, you know, _something_. I'd imagined a somewhat glorified death for myself – defending something important or precious to me like Gramps had...

But no. What kind of death was I getting? A mainly passive, probably brutal and highly un-noteworthy murder. What kind of pathetic death was that? No epic battle, no heart wrenching sacrifices... Just your classic crazy ninja kills weak kunoichi scenario. _So_ unfair.

But that brought me back to the whole core of the situation; _life wasn't fair._ If it was I wouldn't _be_ in this mess. But I wouldn't complain. I wasn't dead. Things were bad but I wasn't dead, so I had no right to complain. Right?

I sighed, earning myself a curious glance from Kisame who, noting the sour look on my face, thought better of enquiring as to my sudden relapse in melancholy. Good thing too; I'd shared more than enough with the shark-man already today, a thought that struck me with a feeling of utmost disturbance.

/\

Deidara and Tobi didn't return until much later, when the sun had long since set and a dinner of fish fillets had been cooked, eaten and the remainders salted for later. It wasn't the best meal I'd ever had but it was far from being the worst either and I'd spent the rest of the evening in relative comfort with a pleasantly full belly. I use the term 'comfort' loosely, of course, as it's hard to be truly comfortable when you're keeping company with a blue freak of nature and a man who killed his own mother.

Kisame and I were playing poker when the pair of them walked in, arms laden with bags of what looked promisingly like groceries, Deidara looking like he'd just returned from the most taxing mission of the century. I knew what his problem would be; it wasn't hard to guess. I myself was aware of how exhausting it could be, being with Tobi for any length of time. For someone like Deidara – a man with little patience as it was – such an extended period alone with the man-child would be nigh on enough to kill him. Even so, I had _no_ sympathy and sniggered freely at his ragged appearance as he dumped the bags on the counter and turned wearily to his still chattering team mate.

"Shut _up_, Tobi, un." he groaned taking the bags from his hyperactive partner and putting them beside his own cargo. Kisame and I both watched with interest as Tobi, naturally finding this order impossible to follow, cocked his head and crossed his arms thoughtfully for a second. From experience, I knew Tobi was about to say something stupid, something like the underwear comment the other day that got him blown up. By the grin slowly forming on Kisame's face, it was obvious _he _knew too.

"But Senpai, don't you _like _talking about Mizuko?" I grimaced, slightly surprised and quite annoyed to find that _I_ was the topic of conversation. "You like _looking_ at her – Tobi knows 'cause Tobi saw-,"

BAM!

One second Tobi was standing beside the blonde bomber, the next he was laying sprawled on the table where just moments before, mine and Kisame's poker game had been set out. The cards flew everywhere in Tobi's wake, the chips clattering noisily to the floor like lethal raindrops. Kisame and I glanced at each other and dropped our cards on top of the masked man's twitching, moaning body before turning to Deidara with identical smirks of amusement – though mine, unlike the mist nin's, was tinged with some moderate embarrassment.

"That was a little harsh, Deidara." Kisame laughed as Deidara rubbed the fist he'd used to knock Tobi out, glaring at the boy with a furious scowl. "The kid was only sayin' it like it is; _I've _caught you staring at Mizuko too. Don't worry though; _she's_ not innocent either."

"WHAT?!" Deidara and I screeched simultaneously, my smirk slipping like water over tiles. I stood up in a rush, knocking my chair back in my haste as my face burned crimson at such a humiliating allegation – an allegation that was completely _true_, I was sorry to say. _So someone _had _noticed my ogling this morning then?_

I swung for the big shark with my balled right fist while Deidara threw a well-aimed kunai at his big, stupid head – both of which, he dodged with a rumbling chuckle and an ease that his bulky form could not have hinted at. He bent over to pick up Tobi and promptly left, calling back over his shoulder as he disappeared into the hall with the swirly boy draped over his massive back like a sack of potatoes.

"I trust I can leave you two alone in the kitchen without worrying about the sight I'll come back to?"

"JERK!" I screamed after his retreating back, throwing a nearby poker chip at him and – obviously – missing completely. I was breathing heavily, my heart bursting in my chest as my poor brain struggled to take in the impossibility that was what had just taken place. I turned slowly and, as I'd expected, Deidara was looking at me with mild curiosity and a reddish hue of his own. "Don't you even start with me." I growled. "I have _not_ had a good day."

"Excuse me while I tremble in terror, un," he muttered sulkily, turning back to the bags of 'supplies' in what I suspected was merely an excuse to not look at _me_ any more. He slowly began to unpack them, removing bread, milk, rice and various vegetables from the first bag. I watched him for a moment, admiring in spite of myself, his lovely golden hair which was longer than even my own. I amused myself briefly with the mental image of his hair untied, flowing down his back like a river in beautiful sheets, before sighing and joining him, taking the milk and vegetables to the fridge without a word.

When we were done putting the shopping away I leaned against the counter next to the sink, crossing my arms pragmatically and frowning lightly at the floor. My mind was caught up in Kisame's accusation and, though I was sure he'd only meant to tease us a little, what it could mean. He was right of course. There were times when I _did_ stare at Deidara, this morning being the prime – but not only – example. I wasn't so sure about _him_ staring at _me_ but even if he did, it meant nothing on his part; he was a young guy living with nothing but guys (and his sister). I could easily decipher the intent behind _his_ interest. The problem was _me._

I've mentioned before that my love life up to this point has been... well, truthfully non-existent. I just wasn't that kind of girl – I'd never been into that stuff before. I'd never found anyone who engaged my attention in that way and I sure as hell hadn't expected to find that person in the midst of Akatsuki. I mean my friend, Naoku, was cute and all, but I'd never entertained any _real_ hopes or intentions of that nature toward him. But with Deidara it was different. I found that I _did_ sometimes let my mind wander into thoughts of what might happen if I were to become so involved with him. I wondered about our future – a future that would never _be_ – and it made me sad that those things were forever beyond my reach; with _him_ at least. And the thing was – _now here's the scary part_ – I didn't _want_ those things with anyone else. Up until now I hadn't realised I'd wanted those things at all. To find that not only I _did_, but I wanted them with a criminal I could never be with... well, you can understand why that _might_ upset me.

"What are you thinking about, un?" Deidara asked suddenly, studying me with a guarded expression. I laughed out loud, imagining his reaction if I told him the truth.

_"Oh, nothing, Dei. I was just thinking about how I wanted to marry you and have your children and for us to live and grow old together until we both die. Not much, not much." _

Yeah, 'cause I could see _that_ going down well. Like a lead balloon, to be sure.

"Nothing that concerns you, I assure you." I smiled ironically, lying through my teeth. To be more accurate I should've said 'nothing that _should_ concern you'. But you know; details, details. Either way I wasn't telling him so what's a skipped inflection between a kidnapper and his kidnap-ee?

"Oh? What if I said I wanted to know anyway, un?" he asked, approaching slowly and hopping up to sit on the counter next to me. I rolled my head back and treated him to my sweetest, most endearing smile; it was a smile few had seen and even fewer had appreciated. Everyone agreed there was something imperceptibly evil in it.

"Well then, Deidara my friend, I'd tell you to bite me." I said in a sickly, sugar coated voice. He raised an eyebrow at me, his face saying what his lips chose not to; '_feeling brave, are we, un?'._ I giggled at myself – even when I was just _imaging_ him talk, he always had his little speech tick clipped on at the end. By the look on Deidara's face – a look that was growing more perplexed by the second – he was starting to worry about the stability of my mentality. Rightly so, too – if he wasn't worried he wasn't sane. Nevertheless, to his credit, he managed to overlook it as he replied, keeping his voice a subtle mix of amusement and suggestive teasing.

"What if I took that invitation, un? What would you do then, huh?" he smirked down at me. I looked deep into his electric blue eyes, seeing something there that was more than a mere mischievous twinkle. In the depths of his eyes, so bright and candid for a criminal in this moment, I could see true curiosity. While most of him was just playing with me, trying to back me into a corner in this unofficial game of 'chicken', a segment of him was genuinely asking. That part, however small and hidden, honestly wanted to know.

I blinked, unsure how to react for a second. What I was seeing just couldn't be right – Deidara of the Akatsuki, _the_ Deidara, was practically coming on to me. And more frighteningly, I was _enjoying_ it. I loved the connotations behind his words and even the hyper-awareness of Hiroshi's presence less than half a mile away wasn't enough to change that; _what_ was the world coming to?

But, as good ol' Gramps – that Master of Wisdom and purveyor of proverbs – used to say; _'Live for the moment, Mizuko. Don't argue about the difficulties; they'll argue for themselves'. _So I went on instinct, doing what seemed right at the time and damned be the consequences. I would later reflect that those fish must've been drugged or something – it seemed like madness with the aid of hindsight!

I winked playfully and reached up to pull his head closer so I could whisper in his ear. He didn't resist, allowing me to bend his head to my lips with deliberately slowed movements. Releasing a cool breath against the shell of his ear which made him shudder, I spoke, my lips brushing against his skin softly as I murmured my flirtatious comeback shamelessly. The shame would come later, when whatever intoxication I was in the clutches of dissipated.

"I'd just bite back." I teased, the tip of my nose ghosting his cheek as I pulled away again with a smug grin. Inside, a tiny part of me was screaming crazily, begging for attention – it was the same part that had screamed when Deidara and I kissed (both times) and during the whole bed-pinning incident. And, I was alarmed to discover, the more intimate contact I had with Deidara – which was steadily growing to be too much for comfort – the smaller and more distant the screaming became.

"Oh?" he asked, sounding darkly entertained. His hand found it's way under the collar of his cloak (which I was still wearing, having forgotten about my clothes in the course of dinner and multiple games of poker) and I shivered as his fingers brushed the sensitive area just above my collar bone. "If I didn't know any better I'd say that was a _challenge_, un." he breathed into my ear.

"I dunno... _you_ decide." I purred, goosebumps forming as he slowly massaged my shoulder.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Like waking from a dream, I started at the sound of the front door knocking, the me that _was_ me returning and realising with a jolt like jumping into a cold shower, that things had nearly taken a very _erotic_ turn with Deidara just then. His hand retracted and he jumped down from the bunker in one fluid movement, as nonchalant as you please, acting like nothing more interesting that a friendly game of verbal ping pong had occurred. As he made his way down the hall to the door, I put a hand to my chest, feeling the erratic 'thump, thump, thump' of my heart and knowing without a doubt that if things had gone further I wouldn't have been able to stop them. This had gone _beyond_ a simple physical attraction – I mean I was attracted, in some perverse way, to Naoku but things like that never happened between _us_.

Was I...? Could it be possible that...?

I was wrenched from my mangled thought processes by the subtle awareness that comes when one realises one has company. I raised my head and sure enough, Deidara had returned from the front door with the visitors and it occurred to me briefly how strange it was for the Akatsuki to get a house call like this. When I focussed on who it actually _was, _such a peculiarity started to make a little more sense. A _very_ little...

Before me, each wearing expressions of varying degrees of negativity, stood none other than Hidan, Kakuzu and Tsukai. Accompanying them, a dark, ominous cloud seemed to fill the kitchen with the bleak restfulness of a calm before the storm. Something wasn't right – it didn't take a genius to figure _that_ out. And it didn't take a genius to know that whatever it was, Deidara was in on it – the anxious frown replacing his usually carefree smirk was enough to tell me whatever it was was serious. _Maybe this is _it_, _I thought numbly, understanding their grim mood to mean I was at the end of the road. That_ certainly didn't take long._

"Hey... guys." I said softly, trying to conceal the absolute terror in my tone. "I thought it would be a while before I saw any of you again; what-," I coughed to clear my throat as my voice became hoarse. "- what're you doing here so soon?"

"We were on a mission in Bird Country... we finished just the other day." Tsukai replied evasively. She seemed extremely unhappy about something, a frown that was half concern, half disapproval pulling at her kind features. "We weren't due back till next week but... something _important_ has made itself known to us." she said through slightly gritted teeth, casting an angry glance at Kakuzu.

I too glanced at Kakuzu, who continued to glare aimlessly at nothing in particular and everything at the same time. He was severely pissed off; I mean _major_. Just being in the same room as him was giving me the heebies. Hidan looked ticked off too but in more of an annoyed way than a murderous way like his partner. I noticed that the left arm of his cloak was drenched with blood and considered asking before promptly deciding I was better off not knowing – leave 'immortals' well enough alone, that's what _I_ thought.

"Could you excuse us, Mizuko? We have something we need to discuss in private." Tsukai asked kindly, though the smile accompanying her request was somewhat strained. I looked around the others and noted, with some irritation, that not _one_ of them would look me in the eye. Not even Deidara, whom seconds ago had been practically feeling me up. No prizes for guessing who they'd be discussing, hm?

"I'm not stupid, you know. Whatever this thing is it has something to do with me and I have every right to know if that's the case." I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest like a child who wants to stay up past their bedtime. Tsukai sighed wearily, fixing me with a look that pleaded for me not make this harder than it needed to be. Behind me I felt the distinct chakra signature of Itachi approach and enter the kitchen, obviously deciding that he _wanted_ people to be aware of his presence – no one would have noticed otherwise. Kisame too entered the crowded kitchen, sparing a distasteful once over for Hidan and Kakuzu before plonking himself in the same seat he'd occupied for our poker game.

And as I stood there resolutely, holding my ground valiantly though I knew this was just one more battle I was going to lose, I'd never felt so outnumbered and intimidated. Five Akatsuki and Tsukai against me, one pathetic little Waterfall nin with the aim of a blind dog and the skill of a baby hog. I was out of my depth here – so out of my depth that it was almost funny. _Almost_.

"Mizuko." Itachi said in that even, unreadable deadpan of his. I flinched, because even tone or not, I could tell he wouldn't take any sort of defiance on my part lightly. "Leave, please."

I turned immediately and left without another word – I valued what was left of my life enough to know that arguing would be detrimental to my health. And there were things the Uchiha could do that not even the legendary Sanin, Tsunade, could heal.

But... just because I left willingly didn't mean I wasn't going to _listen_.

The hours of cleaning I'd done that day had given me a chance to scope out the house and now, I was proud to say, I had a pretty good internal map of all the house's nooks and crannies. And one such nook happened to include a neat little vent which ran from the upstairs bathroom to the kitchen, near the sliding back door. With any luck and perhaps a little redirecting of my chakra, I should be able to hear them clearly enough from there. So what if it was eavesdropping... it's just one of the many 'frowned upon' things ninjas do.

So I climbed the stairs without complaint, their murmuring voices serving to hurry me on my way as effectively as the threat of a barrage of shuriken. As I took the stairs three at a time I caught snatches of the conversation, some of the louder exclamations escaping the room amidst panicked shushing from – I was guessing – Tsukai.

"I knew it, un! I _knew_ it! I was right after all!" Deidara shouted when I was halfway up the staircase. His triumph at being correct was tinged with a worried undertone – almost as if he wished he'd been _wrong,_ which was just crazy because the only thing Deidara knew _how_ to be was right, even when he _was_ wrong.

"SHHH!" Tsukai hissed, and the talking died out again as they resumed their serious conference in dulled undertones.

Tiptoeing into the bathroom for a reason I wasn't wholly aware of, I crouched by the vent awkwardly, trying to get as close as I could but finding it difficult with the toilet obstructing my access as it was. Sure enough, the voices drifted up to me and I could hear _nearly _every word, albeit it with some moderate concentration on my part. The words I missed weren't too hard to hazard an educated guess at and I got the overall picture pretty quickly – got it but didn't _quite_ understand it.

"That's pretty low, un. Even for _you_, Kakuzu." Deidara said with apparent disgust.

"That's what _I_ said." Tsukai agreed, sounding equally if not _more_ repulsed. "How could you do such a thing?! And all for _money_, I don't doubt."

"Shut up, the pair of you." Kakuzu snapped heatedly. I jumped in shock at the sound of his voice filled with an emotion that _wasn't _disdain or boredom – it was the most animated he'd been since I met him! "I'm not about to take a lecture from either of _you_ about-," here the miser's voice was drowned out by a deep chuckle from a very amused Kisame before filtering back into focus again. "- life. You don't set the most amazing example, to be blunt."

I placed the missing words to be something along the lines of 'how to live my' but didn't have much time to ponder further as another voice joined the party.

"You wouldn't be in this f*****g mess if you weren't such a motherf******g tight ass bitch!" _Ah. _I smiled humourlessly. _A few choice words from the good father himself. 'Thou shalt not be a motherf*****g tight ass __bitch' and all that._

"F**k you. One more word out of _you_, Hidan, and I'll kill you, immortal or not. Besides, I don't see that there _is_ a problem; what's in the past should _stay_ there."

"Good grief! Not a problem? Not a problem?! That-," the next little segment was obscured by a cough from someone – Hidan by the sounds of it. "- you, even _now_ after all this time! You just have to listen and it's obvious! What do you think'll happen when this gets out?!"

Tsukai sounded slightly hysterical and, though I had no idea what they were talking about by this point, I couldn't help but feel a tremor of fear in my heart at her proclamation. Something about her words frightened me for some reason; I think it was an instinctive reaction to the promise of doom in her last sentence. Naturally, as someone who'd experienced a lot of doom lately, I was extra sensitive to the subject.

"So don't let it get out!" Kakuzu retorted, sounding thoroughly pissed off. "No one else _needs_ to know and in little over a month, _if_ that, it'll all be over."

"You callous b*****d! How can you be so cold towards-," the scrapping of a chair drowned out the next words. "-un?!"

"I could ask _you_ the same question." came Kakuzu's frosty reply. Before either Deidara or Tsukai could argue further, he continued in the same icy tone with just the subtlest hints of resignation. "We all have choices to make and I've made mine – it's too late to change them now. I, like everyone else at this godforsaken table, have to live with whatever consequences come."

"So that's it, un? You'll just let things lie then? Don't you think you should at _least_ tell the truth? I think, under the circumstances, you owe _that_ much, un." Deidara asked sourly; I could picture him now, arms folded across his chest, frowning bitterly at Kakuzu's last statement because he knew there was great truth in it. Even _I_ admitted there was truth in his words and I borderline hated the guy! "Since you're not gonna do anything about it, un." Deidara muttered, almost as an afterthought.

"That's right blondie, I'm _not_ going to do anything about it; and why? Because like I said, decisions were made that I can't go back on – who I am now isn't who I was then and it's as simple as that."

"Whatever, un."

"Just out of interest, Deidara, why are you so keen for the zombie to spill anyway, hm?" Kisame jumped in – even without seeing his face I could tell he was grinning, something amusing him greatly in Deidara's reaction. "He's right about _one_ thing; in a while it won't matter anyway."

"I think the little blonde f***er has a _personal_ interest in the matter!" Hidan cut in crudely.

"Bite me! I only say it 'cause I know if it were me, _I'd_ want to know, un."

As serious a moment as this was meant to be, I couldn't help but be reminded of that last time I'd used that phrase and the _very _different context it had been in. Predictably, the shame that had been lacking in mine and Deidara's battle of wills gone wrong, made itself painfully known to me now. Luckily, I was alone so I could wallow in my embarrassment in peace.

"Sure, sure. If you say so." Kisame laughed. "What's your take on this, Itachi?"

There was silence around the room for a second while Itachi contemplated his answer. After all it was never in the estranged Uchiha's nature to say something lightly – every word was carefully thought out to the last letter, something that struck me as both odd and wise at the same time. If _I'd_ had the sense to think things through before speaking as Itachi did... well, let's just say my life would be a lot easier. And _longer_.

"I think that either way it's irrelevant – nothing changes one way or the other." Itachi said at last, interrupting my thoughts. "But I'll say this; if you still felt anything at all, Kakuzu, you would confess. As far as I'm concerned the matter is now closed; I'm going to bed."

There was the sound of another chair moving and – if I listened hard enough – the lightest tap of footsteps heading in the direction of the stairs. This I took as my signal to leave and hurried to the bathroom door, opening it carefully and slipping out into the hall cautiously, trying not to panic as I made my way to my room with the increasing volume of Itachi's footsteps behind me. Getting caught sneaking back to my bedroom like some sort of criminal – which would be ironic considering technically I was the only one in this house who _wasn't –_ wasn't high on my to do list. I made it with mere seconds to spare and shut the door gently, jumping into bed and hauling the covers above my head with the intent of feigning sleep; I didn't think Itachi would check in on me, but it never hurt to be overly vigilant.

I thought about the conversation carefully for a while, wondering why they'd sent me away when – as far as I saw things – it had nothing at all to do with me. It was about Kakuzu and some poor person he knew... or had known... or something like that, from what I could tell and what had been said hadn't been all that earth-shattering that they should want it kept secret from me. Still, I knew Akatsuki were pretty tight on security so maybe it wasn't all that shocking after all.

In any case, most of what was said hadn't made a great deal of sense, but then, _I_ didn't have the full story now did I? And so, although it was certainly a fascinating conundrum, I let it slip from my mind without resistance. After all, it was of little consequence to _me_ what Kakuzu did with his life – to be quite honest I didn't really give a tiny rat's ass.

I spent the next few minutes thinking about little, and within the hour I fell into a deep, uncomfortable sleep, laced with dreams that when I woke, I could remember nothing of but the ringing sound of a waterfall. Deidara's cloak, which I _still_ hadn't removed, itched and practically smothered me during the night but all in all it was as good a sleep as I could ever hope to have under the roof of an Akatsuki base.

/\

I woke the next morning to a sight that was both welcome and terrifying at the same time – that is to say, Deidara's _face_, close enough that I was able to see through the curtain of hair covering his eye to the glinting scope beneath. Needless to say this development made me turn an unhealthy shade of beetroot and I had to employ my entire wealth of self-restraint to avoid punching him in-between the eyes.

He was leaning by my bed, his head resting on my pillow with a look that was equal parts confusion, interest and anxiety – it was an expression of such complex emotion that unless I was seeing it I wouldn't believe it. It was my understanding – or had been until now – that Deidara was incapable of complex emotion. The fact that he was capable of any emotion beyond mocking amusement was still a hard enough pill to swallow for me.

When he saw that my eyes were open, he grinned – though it was more likely my likeness to a strawberry that caused him pleasure rather than my return to wakefulness. He backed up, still grinning as I sat up in my bed and turned to face him properly, unconsciously running a hand through my impressive early morning bed head. Outside the birds were singing and something about their cheerful melodies told me it was a beautiful day outside. It wasn't that bad _inside_ either...

"Love the new look, un." Deidara chuckled, indicating my mop of a hairstyle. "It's so you."

"What's that meant to mean bomb-boy? And what the hell are you doing in my room? Didn't your mother teach you it was bad to enter a lady's room without permission?" I scolded, running another self-conscious hand through my long, tangled white hair. He shrugged and got to his feet, smirking as I scowled ineffectually at him.

"She did." he conceded with an unrepentant nod. My eyes narrowed as I waited for the punchline which was sure to follow. "But that's alright because I don't see any ladies around here, un."

"What are you, twelve?" I snorted, getting up and stretching by the bedside before flouncing out the door with Deidara in tow.

"Nineteen." he corrected me with a laugh. _That_ surprised me – only nineteen? I'd placed him at around twenty-three. Although come to think of it, Tsukai looked about nineteen and they were twins so... I guess he just looked old for his age. "And I was wondering if you were ever planning on giving me back my cloak, un?"

I looked down, remembering his cloak was still on me, and smiled sheepishly. I had every intention of giving it back of course – I'd rather be shot of it as soon as possible. But he made it sound like I'd stolen it or something.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it." I dismissed, waving a hand at him flippantly. "I'd give you it now but that would leave me a bit exposed, you know?"

"Wouldn't hear me complaining, un." he murmured jovially, reminding me of Kisame and his rude joke eluding to me being naked the other day. Why did almost every joke nowadays have me in some state of indecency?

"No, I don't suppose it would, you pervert." I observed dryly.

We entered the kitchen to see everyone already awake and halfway through a breakfast of toast and jam – supplies from Deidara and Tobi's trip the other day. Tobi looked better this morning, his punch to the jaw courtesy of Deidara having no effect on his ability to talk; a fact that was driving Hidan crazy and making Kisame laugh. Itachi was as stoic as ever, eating with little regard for anything or anyone else in the room – a bomb could go off and he wouldn't so much as flinch. Tsukai, who, unsurprisingly, was the one charged with making breakfast, threw me a pleasant smile in greeting from her post by the stove, where owing to the lack of a toaster she was forced to prepare the toast under the grill as I had the previous morning.

"Good morning sleepy head!" she grinned, picking up a plate on her right and handing it to me cheerfully. "It's about time you woke up."

"Really?" I asked, accepting the plate of toast with a grateful nod. "I hadn't realised I'd been asleep that long."

"'Friad so, sweet cheeks. You'd make a dreadful missing nin if that's how deeply you sleep." Kisame smirked, nicking a piece of toast from my plate as I took a seat next to him at the table. I slapped his hand but didn't try to take the food back – truthfully, I wasn't much of a morning eater anyway. But in many ways Kisame was like a dog; just because I didn't _want_ it didn't mean he could just _take_ it.

"Oh whatever will I do?! My sleeping pattern doesn't coincide with the requirements of being a criminal!" I cried sarcastically, taking a huge bite of toast and chewing it ungracefully before chasing it down with a swig of Kisame's water – payback for the toast, if you will. "Who said I _want_ to be a missing ninja anyway?"

He shrugged, his sharky features maintaining that mocking irony as he replied. And I should point out that I _didn't_ miss the way his eyes flickered to Deidara before settling on me again, the meaning of this simple gesture implied more strongly than if he'd simply _said_ it.

"Good to keep your options open; you never know, hm?" he said with a certain sadistic glee as I choked on my toast. I risked a glance at Deidara and saw that he was – apparently – oblivious to the implications behind Kisame's smart ass comments and was, in fact, busying himself in an early morning Tobi-bashing. Quite literally actually; he'd just smacked the poor masked boy upside the head for saying something that was no doubt stupid and poorly thought out.

"You and I both know there's only one option open to me from here and it doesn't end with me rearranging my sleep pattern to suit the lifestyle of a ninja on the run." I growled, nudging him with my elbow as he made to steal another slice of my toast. "The only sleep pattern I'll have after long is the sleep pattern of a ninja in the grave."

"Easy, princess. Lighten up, hm? Those words are a little heavy for this early in the morning." the shark laughed, holding his hands out as if to appease me.

I treated him to a dirty look and continued with my breakfast, looking around the very crowded kitchen with a frown. Someone was missing...

"Where's Kakuzu?" I asked, searching for him but not seeing him anywhere. After what I'd heard last night, as little an effect as it had on _my_ life, I was sort of curious as to what it was they'd been talking about. For him not to be here made me that much more interested.

Curiously, my question was met with an uncomfortable silence – the kind of silence that stretched into infinity, where no one wanted to break it for fear of what terrors would be unleashed if they did. Even Tsukai, as good a mood as she had seemed to be in this morning, was frozen into unresponsive distress by what had seemed like an incredibly innocent question to me. I suddenly became aware that everything in this room was fake. It came to me with the same clarity of the breaking dawn – you don't realise it until it's upon you. All the smiles... the bright moods... they were all a front, designed to conceal something so much darker. Even Kisame's reckless banter wasn't as real as it should be. And it _frightened_ me.

"Guys? What the hell's going on? Where's Kakuzu?" I interrogated them, trying to force back the rising terror in my chest with minimal success. Something bad was coming; I could _feel_ it. It was a different bad to the bad of my looming execution but just as potent, and it left me with a sickly sensation in the pit of my stomach.

No one answered. No one moved. Even Tobi, who was somehow clued in even though he'd been out cold last night when the others had conducted their serious conference, didn't move. The only one who continued with any air of normalcy was Itachi and I had a sneaking suspicion _that_ was because he simply didn't care. Hidan too didn't seem to care much, but I noticed him watching Tsukai with a spark of concern in his weird purplish eyes, who certainly _did_ care about whatever it was.

As if on cue – which is almost _always_ the case with things of this dramatical magnitude – Kakuzu entered the kitchen from the back door, his heavily cloaked frame barging in and filling the already bursting kitchen to it's absolute limit. I glanced at him and something, some primal instinct, told me his presence did not bode well.

"Finish your breakfast, get changed and get back down here in an hour – we have important things to discuss." he ordered, his tone suggesting that argument would not be the wisest course of action. Unlike Itachi's method of intimidation, Kakuzu's was more direct, promising painful things if a single uncooperative word was to escape my mouth. Deciding I was no longer hungry, I left the table immediately, looking back at the anxious faces of Tsukai and Deidara and receiving no comfort whatsoever.

/\

I must have gotten changed in record timing, I reckon, as I was back in the kitchen with my own garments on before anyone else had made the concious decision to move. I had Deidara's cloak slung over my arm and handed it to him gingerly, my nerves scrapping like nails on a chalkboard as I sat back in my seat at the table, noting with a distant kind of amusement that my toast had been decimated in my absence. For the longest time, no one uttered a word – the room was silent as the grave, quite literally. Then, moving as one, the majority of the Akatsuki stood and left the room, Tsukai dragging Hidan who seemed to want to stay for some reason.

Before he left, Deidara placed a rough hand on my shoulder and smirked in that endearing way of his, though his eyes contracted as if he were in some form of pain. Surprisingly, I understood what he meant and it settled the nauseous stewing in my gut a little. _It's alright, un. It's gonna be okay._

With everyone gone, I met the contemptuous glare of my only remaining companion: the king of crabbiness and lord of loot, Kakuzu himself. His creepy eyes – that Halloween style green on red – scrutinised me with something bordering on irascibility and I wondered, _again_, what it was I'd done to make him so scornful of me. Maybe my kidnap and upkeep was costing too much? But that was hardly _my_ fault! I hadn't _asked_ to be kidnapped!

"So..." I trailed, trying to encourage him to tell me whatever it was he was here to tell me without putting it into so many words. He didn't take the bait and the only reaction that suggested he'd heard at all was a very minuscule tightening of his inhuman eyes – an _angry_ tightening, at that. I was beginning to understand that the only thing Kakuzu was able to _be _was angry. He was like one of those cranky old men you read about in stories, the ones that liked to be alone all the time and hated pretty much everything.

"Um... It's a nice day, hu-,"

"Do you want the bad news or worse news first?" Kakuzu snapped, interrupting my abysmal attempt at casual small talk. I was grateful for his interceding because it meant there was no longer the need for a pretence of being calm, cool and collected – neither of which I actually _was_. However, suffice it to say his opening statement didn't inspire confidence.

"Er... the bad news?" I hazarded, my hands fisting against my thighs as I imagined all sorts of horrors. Needless to say my impending execution wasn't too far from forefront of my mind. But he'd said there was worse news and so, if my death was a subject to be discussed, surely it would be the worse news? Then again, mine and Kakuzu's impressions of 'bad' and 'worse' may not be the same thing. Perhaps the bad news was that my death was upcoming and the worse news would be something trivial to me; like _he_ had to pay for corpse removal or something, for example?

"Hmph." he grumbled somewhat disapprovingly – I had no idea why, though if I had to venture a guess I'd say he didn't like the way I was trying to avoid the bigger issue like that. But you know what? Tough nuggets. "The bad news – for _you_ at least – is that Leader has summoned you to perform the task for which you were taken in the first place. You leave next week with Tobi and Deidara to the intended destination where you'll be met by Leader and briefed on your work."

I gulped – so it _was_ something to do with my death. As a matter of fact, I'd actually forgotten that I was supposed to provide Akatsuki with something before they off-ed me. I'd been with them so long and had been focused so completely on the murder aspect of the situation that I'd almost started to believe that was all I was there for; to be killed like some animal. I'd have to make sure I told Hiroshi this as soon as possible – time was starting to run out for real now. And I didn't fancy sticking around until it did.

"And the worse news?" I asked half-heartedly, convinced that nothing could be worse than his first announcement. What could he possibly tell me that could make this appalling dilemma worse? I was willing to bet there wasn't much could top the knowledge that I was next in line in the express funeral queue.

Kakuzu seemed to grow uncomfortable for a second, his malignant gaze moving away from my face to his hands on the table like he wasn't sure how to continue. It was only a _second_ though and as quickly as he'd dropped his stare, he resumed it, looking into my eyes with steely conviction as he said the three words that brought my entire world crashing down around my ears in an awful roar of hurt, denial and down right confusion.

"I'm your Grandfather."

**This development has been a long time coming but I was never sure when would be the right moment to put it in. I feel I may have been a little premature with it but I figured, since nothing's going right for Mizuko at the minute anyway, I may as well get it over with quickly. For those observant readers, you may have noticed me dropping subtle hints before this chapter – they were both from Hidden Waterfall, Mizuko recognised him but couldn't figure out why, when they first met, Kakuzu acted strangely toward her and also, Deidara had a sneaking suspicion when she told him about her Gramps in chapter 10. I tried to keep it under wraps until the very end of this chapter, only dropping in a few hints here and there, but if you figured it out before I told you, I'm very sorry. I like my plots to have shocking and unexpected developments in them so if you guessed then I've failed. T.T**

**Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I _really_ hope it was worth the wait. Sorry I'm slowing the updates again but I'm getting assignments thrown at me left, right and centre. Reviews welcome as always; I love to hear from my loyal readers! :P **


	20. Memory Lane Is Lined With Lies

** To all my loyal and exceedingly patient readers,**

** I've worked hard on this chapter in the last week to have it ready for Christmas for you all. This, as well as an official announcement that the temporary hiatus has ended, is my gift to you for being such wonderful people and showering me with tonnes of amazing reviews.**

** Have a merry Christmas and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

** Much love**

** XxFearTheFluffxX**

I stared at Kakuzu in absolutely speechless, heart-palpitating shock. My hands, still fisted against my legs from a fear long forgotten at this point, were stiff and unresponsive and my throat seemed to have swollen to three times it's natural size, making my breathing come in short, irregular, agitated gasps. I felt a seeping cold right to my bones, which had frozen in place like I was suffering total paralysis. I was, in short, completely unable to move.

As was time, it appeared. Kakuzu – who just _couldn't_ be telling the truth – sat almost as still as I did, his nightmarish eyes unblinking as I gaped at him openly, willing him to laugh and proclaim it a cruel joke or otherwise contradict the unbelievable – _impossible –_ claim he'd just put to me. He had to be pulling my chain here. He _had_ to be.

But he didn't laugh. _Wouldn't_ laugh. Because Kakuzu did not _joke_. Kakuzu was not a man to say things he didn't mean nor find amusement in anything that didn't involve a large number preceded by a yen symbol – or indeed by any other symbol equating to money. But _what_ then? What did he hope to achieve by this, if not to mock my horror-struck reaction? Because it wasn't _true_; I was sane enough to know that much at least.

My Gramps had been a good man; a Shinobi of the Hidden Waterfall as Kakuzu was, yes, but he'd been loyal to his village to his very last breath. My Gramps was kind, caring, _noble –_ a legend and a hero the likes of which had been unknown in our village before his time_. _Kakuzu was none of these things – never had been, never would be. They didn't even _look_ the same! But the final, most convincing evidence I had at my disposal, was that my Grandfather was already long dead and buried. I couldn't remember _where_ exactly – sadly I'd never worked up the courage to visit it before, preferring to keep the memory of him alive rather than finalising his death like that – but as surely as the sea was wet and full of salt, my Gramps' body was in Waterfall Village _somewhere._

Suddenly I was angry. Positively _livid_. How _dare_ he? How darethis sad excuse for _pond scum_ soil my Grandfather's name like that? Kakuzu and my Gramps were as opposite as it was possible for two people to be. Their worlds were two separate spheres that could nevertouch. Gramps had taught me the meaning of loyalty, of what it was to be a Shinobi and how to defend the _honour_ of that title. He was a hero; my _idol_. I was proud of him! I was proud to be the granddaughter of a man who'd died defending our village from enemy forces. So I would tolerate nothing, and I do mean _nothing_, that served to tarnish that reputation.

I slammed my hands down on the table and stood up in a flash, my fists so tight now that I could feel the grooves my nails were gouging into my palm. My golden eyes felt hot with tears of rage and I didn't know how long I could hold them back. I was shaking like a leaf all over, the fury pumping through my veins as thick as my blood, strengthening my muscles with pure adrenaline.

"You take that back, you disgusting liar!" I hissed in a voice of pure, deadly venom. I couldn't see myself but I must have been a sight – I could feel the normally smooth contours of my facial features twisted and marred by the ferocity of my emotion. But Kakuzu was unaffected, his grim scowl – or what I was able to see of it – fixed firmly on his discoloured face.

"I'm not lying, brat. It's true." he growled back, sounding as if he were regretting it's 'truth' even if he couldn't change it. For whatever reason – though I _knew_ he was lying – that thought hurt me deeply; like a stab wound to the back...

"_No it's not_!" I screeched, punching down on the table again and earning a thunderous 'CRACK' for my efforts. I glanced down briefly, unconcerned about whatever damage I'd caused but curious nonetheless. A deep fissure ran from the edge of the table where I stood to the centre, jagged shards of wood bridging the thin gap like tiny, razor sharp teeth in the maw of some great, carnivorous beast.

"Isn't it?" Kakuzu sneered callously. He was pumping himself up to destroy me – I could tell from the sarcastic edge in his voice. He was going to – or going to _try _to – crush my entire world beneath his feet as if it were little more important than the dust choked lanes by which he travelled. But _I_ knew what was true. I knew who my Grandfather was and this man, if he could be called that, was not him. Kakuzu was not my Gramps.

"Your name is Mizuko Shinoske, you were born on the 3rd of May 1990 at 3.23am precisely." he reeled off, as though reciting the specs. of a mission. I was marginally surprised that he knew so much – down to the very _minute_ of my birth – but it proved nothing. He was a ninja of the Waterfall if nothing else and that made access to such personal details about me a trifle – especially considering his no doubt insanely impressive skills. He _was_ Akatsuki after all. It was only to be expected they'd do some research on me before hand and, being an ex-nin of my village, Kakuzu would be the perfect choice. Besides hadn't Deidara and Tobi known my birthday as well, when I was in the hospital all that time ago?

"Big deal!" I snapped. "So you know some stuff about me – that doesn't mean a damn thing!"

But he wasn't done yet.

"Your mother's name is Junko Shinoske, born September 21st 1968 at 12.12pm. She's a baker in a little shop called 'Junko's Treats' and likes to collect recipes. Your father, Masahiro Shinoske, born June 8th 1966, is deceased, killed in action in 1994 by a Grass ninja spy. He used Earth element Jutsu and was an elite in the ANBU Black Ops."

His extensive knowledge of my family tree was a little frightening but I still didn't believe him. It was nothing my personal record couldn't provide. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him but he took no notice, continuing to spout facts about me like there was no tomorrow.

"Your best friend is the orphan boy, Hiroshi -," I almost flinched at Hiroshi's name, recalling with frightening clarity the fact that he was closer than I would have any of my kidnappers believe."-who you met in a clearing in the forest of the Waterfall village at the age of five. You use Water style Jutsu, you can't aim, your favourite food is sweet and sour pork, you're a naturist, you're afraid of snakes. Have I proved my point yet?" he spat with an almost sadistic flourish.

I have to admit his information was spookily accurate on all counts and I could feel the demon of doubt claw at my mind with it's painfully sharp talons. But like a sailor clinging to the rigging of his sinking ship, I refused to budge. He _couldn't _be my Gramps. Kakuzu _couldn't_ be the man in my life who'd influenced my every move to this very day. He _couldn't _be the vital pin in my rock solid foundation of beliefs and morals. Because if he _were, _that structure would crumble before my very eyes and I would truly have nothing left. There would be no hope, no faith, no dreams... _Nothing_.

"I... I don't believe you." I said, a little less sure of myself this time. A little less conviction in my denial.

"What will it take for you to accept it?!" he shouted harshly, raising his hands in the air like a man with nothing left in his arsenal but his own smarts – and for him to be making me doubt even just a _little,_ he definitely had plenty of smarts to put to use. "What if I recount your entire life from your birth until my 'death'? Would _that_ make you believe?!"

I thought for a moment and in the quiet of the kitchen I thought I could hear my foundation creak ominously, like the joints of an ancient house riddled with wood rot.

Ignoring it as a sign of stress, I addressed Kakuzu with self-satisfied smugness. I had _just_ the thing.

"If you really _are_ my Gramps, you'd know almost everything about me, right?" I asked.

"Hmph." was his only reply.

"Well then _Gramps_, what's my philosophy? I told 'you' once before, _remember_? After a training session at the Waterfall?"

He sighed tiredly (or was it exasperation?) and I smirked triumphantly. Only my _real_ Gramps could know that one because my _real_ Gramps was the only person I'd told about it. I remember that day well... it had been our last training session together before he died.

_/ – Flash Back – \_

_ I was panting heavily, the exertion from mine and Gramps' recent training session taking it's time to wear off on me as usual. Beside me, gazing into the distance in a broody, contemplative silence as he often did nowadays, Gramps watched the sun rise above the horizon and paint the world pink in it's early morning glow. _

_ He was always quiet these days; ever since Grandma died. He tried his best for my sake, I knew, but he just couldn't help himself sometimes. I reached out tentatively and put my hand on his big, muscular shoulder and when he looked down curiously, I smiled brightly at him. He smiled back but it wasn't the same as it used to be – he missed Grandma _very_ much._

_ "Good training session, Mizu-hime. You're improving quickly." he approved, putting an arm across my shoulders. "One day you'll be an excellent Shinobi."_

_ "Really, Gramps?" I asked earnestly, giving him a tight bear hug. "Hiroshi says I'm hopeless because my aim's so bad. He said I couldn't hit water if I fell out a boat." _

_ Gramps chuckled. "Ninja don't have to be good at everything. They just have to be _really_ good at those things within their abilities. Didn't you tell me your Sensei said you were the best young traps expert your age?"_

_ "That's true," I grinned proudly, puffing my chest out. Then I remembered. "Oh yeah! Guess what, Gramps."_

_ "What is it, my Mizu-hime?"_

_ "I've got a _solo_ mission tomorrow! It's not a big mission; I'm only going to Nikita Village. But the chief there wants my help disarming an old barrier in the shrine! Isn't that cool?" I told him excitedly. My first _big_ mission, all by myself. Hiroshi was _so_ jealous! And I was just lapping it up; I hadn't let him forget about it _all_ day!_

_ "That's fantastic, Mizuko! Well done. Looks like I taught you well." he congratulated me, patting my back proudly. Then, without warning, he became abruptly melancholic again and added almost nostalgically: "I'm glad... It's good to know you can look after yourself."_

_ I remained quiet for a moment, wanting to make him feel better but not quite sure what to say. Or even if there was anything I _could_ say. He and Grandma had been _very_ close; I mean, I know they ought to be, being husband and wife and all but still... With them it had been _special_. For as long as I could remember, they'd always taken a walk by the Waterfall every evening after dinner; hand in hand nonetheless! And I'd noticed whenever I'd stayed over that Gramps would _always_ give Grandma a kiss on the lips before they went to bed. _

_ But it wasn't just that. It was the little things too. Like how Grandma would have Gramps' breakfast waiting for him in the morning with a kiss, no matter _how_ early he had to leave for his mission; or how Gramps would smile a true, _happy_ smile whenever Grandma entered a room. It was things like that that had made me realise just how _precious _their bond had been. And I knew that to suddenly _not_ have that anymore... it must be hurting him really_ _bad._

_ "Gramps?" I asked slowly._

_ "Hmm?" _

_ "You know how you're always telling me things... philosophies?" I continued. He nodded, eyes glazed with confusion. "Well I've got my own one. Wanna hear it?" Another nod, understanding lighting his face. "'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about.'. It's good, isn't it?"_

_ There was a moment of surprised, uncertain silence before he burst out laughing. I grinned, pleased that I'd made him smile if only for a while._

_ "That it is." Gramps chuckled, ruffling my hair fondly, sadness forgotten at least for now. "That it is."_

_ Though I couldn't know it at the time, my philosophy was soon to be put to it's very first _real_ test when my Gramps disappeared from the realm of the living forever._

_/ – End Flash Back – \_

Not long afterwards Gramps left on his _own _solo mission – a long one, to Rain Country – and on his way back he was ambushed by a whole squadron of Rain nin; they'd been following him. He fought bravely, I was told. Until he could no longer stand. I remember thinking they must have been some seriously tough ninja to fight my Gramps and win; I'd fought him in mock battles during our training and I knew he was one tough customer.

Mother had been the one to break the news to me and she said that she was _honoured_ by his courage; my mother had never been _honoured_ before in her life! And I'll _never_ forget the way she choked as she told me about it, the pain in her voice as she reiterated my Grandfather's final stand.

I'll admit it; I found it _exceedingly_ hard not to complain about the injustice of it all. Like I said; my philosophy's first true test. In my sorrow, I'd decided to keep my philosophy to myself. It was something just for Gramps and me – ours and ours alone.

Ironically, _my_ solo mission went fabulously well. So well, in fact, that it became known as my first _real _achievement as the trapper mistress I am today. But I never had the chance to tell Gramps that... he was gone when I returned and he never came back.

"You were always such a stubborn brat." Kakuzu muttered sourly, drawing my attention from whatever realms of memory I'd been lost in. "Your philosophy?_ Child's play_."

"Sure, sure." I spat venomously, though inside I trembled at his proclamation – what if he _did_ know it? What on earth would I do then? _No! Don't think like that... You can't let yourself think like that._ "If it's so easy why don't you just tell me, smart ass, instead of prattling on and on like tomorrow'll never come? We ain't gettin' any younger here and that should bother _you_ more than anyone – you're practically fossilising!"

"Watch your mouth, bitch." Kakuzu retorted in a dangerous whisper which made me shiver. Okay, maybe that _had_ been a little crazy of me. Better tone down the insults or I'd find myself six feet under sooner rather than later. As if he'd read my mind, he added, "Grandfather or not, I'll kill you myself for your insolence.

"As for you philosophy: 'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about.'. Satisfied?"

I didn't answer and I think, considering my substantial record in pissing Akatsuki members off to the point where they justified waling on me, that was a good thing. But the truth was I couldn't hear him anymore – the second he'd said 'If you're not dead' I'd known it was true... And thus, the bottom of my world fell away like the meaningless web of lies it was. Nothing I thought I'd known meant a damn thing anymore – nothing was _real_. Not a single thing.

I would have gasped – for that was surely what this moment required – but I didn't have any air left in me to do so. In one painful, condensed instant my heart seemed to shatter while my stomach fell away, the few bites of toast I'd eaten that morning threatening to come up again. I wanted to scream. To cry. To deny it. But what good did it do? What good did _anything_ do anymore? When there's nothing left for you to believe in, those trivialities lose their function; it would be denial for denial's sake.

Kakuzu (yes, _Kakuzu; _not Gramps... not anymore) held my gaze a few seconds longer before at last, heartbroken, I could no longer stand the sight of him. I dropped my head heavily, eyes directed at the table in a pitiful display of defeat – something that might once have bothered me – but not actually _seeing_ it. I couldn't see anything anymore and it wasn't because of my long hair, which fell over my shoulders and curtained my pale face like a shroud. The simple fact of the matter was I didn't _want_ to see anything anymore. I found it hard to believe – though it'd been mere seconds since that happier era when I'd had something to have faith in had cracked – that I ever _had_ wanted to see a world so full of cruelty...

It would have been funny if it wasn't so sickening. One would think, given the major role my Grandfather had played in my life even after his 'death', that I'd have broken down or started screaming or... or _something_ to that effect. But no; instead of losing control and lashing out I seemed to simply... shut down. Oh, the hurt was still there all right. Throbbing painfully in my decimated heart, it was difficult to _forget_ such an all encompassing agony. But I found myself rendered incapable of venting that hurt. Outwardly, I knew, my eyes would appear blank, my lips straight in neither a smile nor a frown but some unfeeling state in-between. But inside I was being ripped apart. My entire way of life was now meaningless; everything I'd done, everything I'd _achieved_, as worthless as if I'd never done them at all.

As if in summation of this inner typhoon, I heard a hollow crash ring in my ears; my foundation had lost that vital pin. It had fallen down.

I noted vaguely that I could feel two slivers of wet warmth trailing down my cheeks and mused with distant wonder that perhaps, then, I _was_ showing some small outward sign of the terrible grief I felt. But it was a token gesture; a hollow symbol. Tears... tears could not even scrape the surface of the storm brewing beneath my skin.

Without a word – not even a _single_ one – I shuffled on dead legs to the sliding back door and opened it, head still bowed, staring at nothing and everything at the same time. My right hand, limp and weak, rested on the frame and I turned back to look at the man – no... the _monster,_ who had quite literally ripped my world from beneath me. I found that I felt naught as I met his green-against-red eyes. Not hatred, nor contempt... nothing. I was hurting for the Grandfather I'd just lost all over again, not the man before me.

"I think maybe," I whispered, my voice almost a croak as I forced it through my swollen throat. "It's best you leave me alone."

By 'you' of course, I meant he and anyone who could possibly be associated with him, but there was no need to explain as I was sure Kakuzu understood my meaning. Or if not he, then the man he once was – the part of him that used to be my Grandfather would understand. Assuming that part had ever existed in the first place, anyway. After all, everything else in my life had been a sham. I turned away.

After half a moment's solemn tarrying by the door, in which my mind became totally blank, devoid of thought and feeling alike like a slate being washed clean, I broke into a sprint for the forest, pumping a dangerous percentage of my chakra to my feet for additional speed. I didn't know where I was going; I didn't know when I'd get there; I didn't know if I was coming back... Truth be told, I didn't know much of anything anymore.

/\

I was cold. I had been for a while now, curled as I was in the relatively safe clutches of a towering oak's roots. Around me the forest breathed life, the birds calling to one another high in the canopy as the dark clouds roiled overhead. It would rain soon; the heavens would open and the water would fall, nurturing the plants as they grew lush and healthy in the nutrient-rich soil. As if sensing this gift from above, the plants seemed to stretch toward the skies, reaching for their salvation like hungry men reaching for scraps of food from their Daimyo. The insects too could sense the weather and they hid from it in the same way I hid from the downpour of my pain; beneath whatever cover they could find to avoid the life-ending drops from above.

For the longest time I'd ran without pause, fleeing a darkness I couldn't see nor hear nor smell, but one I knew was there nonetheless. I'd ran until my lungs burned with every breath, until my heart burst with every beat, until my chakra reserves ran as dry as the desert... but what had stopped me in the end was not my body's increasing demands for oxygen and energy. It was the damage to my feet which eventually stilled my progress.

I'd really over done it with the chakra redirection, a fact I knew, accepted and did _not_ regret.

The feet were an extremely sensitive area to chakra and I'd been focusing over 70% of my maximum in them in my bid to get away from that house. As such, the muscles and tendons through which my chakra network flowed had been severely strained in the effort; I reckoned I may even have caused minor fissures in the tissue, such was the extent of the pain. But it didn't matter – a small price. I barely registered it as I sat there in solitude, eyes red and itchy from a sobbing fit that _must_ have taken place at some point, though I was hard pressed to remember _when_ exactly.

But I was done now. Done crying. Done mourning. Done. I didn't care what happened to me anymore. Akatsuki wanted me dead? Fine. I didn't care what life threw at me. I wouldn't complain; I wouldn't make a fuss. I would just sit here in the closed off world I was building for myself, allowing the oblivion I could sense closing in around the edges of my mind to seep into my very soul, until there was nothing of my former self left. It was better that way. Better to lose who I was than to live another second in the agony that now dogged my every step.

And it was working. With each second that passed I could feel another fragment of me dissipate. Not quite _disappear_, because I could still _sense_ each piece that broke away, but become overshadowed by a smog of emptiness. And it was... something akin to bliss but without the passion of the emotion. _Relief_, was perhaps a better way of describing it. Or _release_... Did it matter, I wondered...

They'd come for me soon. Those men, with their cloaks of black and red, whose names I could remember but didn't want to _think_ – doing so made me sick with a nervous kind of sadness. Those men who I may have come to despise already if not for the fact that I could no more _hate_ in that moment than I could _fear_. Or love. Or _anything_.

I wasn't afraid – I wasn't very much to be perfectly honest and I wasn't sure I ever would be again. Mildly, almost passively interested in some peculiar, perverse way, but not afraid. What was there to fear when I no longer gave a damn for my own life? There was a saying my Gram... a man I knew once used to say. 'When you're willing to give it all, to sacrifice everything you have including your very life, then you need never know fright. Fear holds no power over the man who treasures nothing.'. Such wisdom... wisdom the sayer seemed to have capitalised on, or so it would appear. But that was alright; I had too, now.

The seconds passed, dripping by like the thin drops starting to dance down from the great grey above.

Minutes. The rain grew heavier, pounding the earth with a fury that was almost godly. And why not? Mother Nature was the one true god in this vile existence. The only force all creatures bowed to without exception, for no man could deny her whims for long.

Hours. I became soaked through despite the semi-decent cover of the stretching oak's branches, watching nature's performance through a curtain of sopping hair.

It came to me as suddenly as a lightning flash; the awareness of someone's presence nearby. And approaching at speed. I glanced through dulled eyes in the general direction of the presence but decided quickly enough that I didn't care about _that_ either. My gaze dropped again to my feet which, through my ninja sandals, I could see were taking the violent purple hue of fresh bruises. _I can't walk..._ I mused hollowly.

They found me moments later, stepping into my bubble of cognizance without the slightest sound, though I knew they were there anyway – no attempt had been made to conceal their chakra and regardless of my state of lethargy, I wasn't so far gone that I couldn't retain my basic ninja gifts. They stood staring at me for a time but to me it was as if they weren't there at all. There was only I. In this world of many greys, where the colour had been tainted forever, the only one to exist any longer was I. And I was fine with that; if no one else could get in, no one else could hurt me again.

"Mizuko."

I glanced at the arrival blankly. Part of me knew who he was even though I couldn't clearly see his face through the torrential rain. The other, larger part didn't give a damn.

_A familiar voice,_

_A familiar face,_

_This man I knew,_

_In a distant place._

The thought was random and hadn't passed by my brain for inspection at any point; it had simply become, like an apparition in the tales Hiroshi once told me every Halloween... And, like those tales, it echoed through my mind in a deafening cacophony of whispers, as though many people were telling me the same thing at the same time, never letting me forget it.

I dropped my gaze once more, pondering over the words from nowhere – words that _I_ must have come up with, though I couldn't remember putting in the effort to do so. It was... funny... Yes. Funny.

"A... familiar... voice..." I tested the words in a voice that was almost mine. But not mine. This was a voice dead of that which had once made me, me. There was no defiance to it; no glee or spark... The most accurate description would be to say it was the voice of the _dead_. But that would be melodramatic, hm?

"_What_, un?" the man I knew asked exasperatedly. Was I bugging him? I think I used to. And I used to enjoy it; annoying this man was something I had enjoyed once... Or was it? I couldn't remember.

"A familiar... face." I continued, ignoring his question. _Have I gone insane too? _I wondered listlessly. It didn't matter if I had or not. Those things that mattered were but a distant memory to me now. I'd shut down. I was an empty shell. And to empty shells, nothing mattered. Not living, nor laughing... not even _being_. Whether I'd ever come to my self again or not... well, _that _didn't matter either.

"Mizuko... We should get back, un. It's raining..."

"This man... I knew..." I whispered, looking up at the blonde-haired man with the electric blue eyes. He was frowning at me, watching me with a concern that struck me as peculiar... unimportant but peculiar. He was wearing that black cloak adorned with red clouds I hated so much. Or _had_ hated, before I lost the will to feel hate anymore. Before I lost the will to _feel_ anymore. "In a distant place."

"C'mon. I'll take you back, un." the man sighed. He came to me and slid his arms beneath my form, lifting me easily and holding me to his chest like a baby while I maintained a vacant disposition, staring at nothing, seeing nothing and _feeling_ nothing. He was looking at me oddly, this man I thought I knew. Something in his eyes, some emotion close to worry, almost broke through the barriers I'd put up around my heart – I could feel it prod at the walls I'd erected there, making my eyes threaten to tear up. To prevent that – and I knew I _must _prevent it, at all costs – I strengthened them with the painful memory of a Grandfather who never was. I'd had enough of getting hurt. So I would make my heart inaccessible; _untouchable_. No one gets in; nothing gets out.

"A distant place..." I mumbled.

/\

I was back at the house. Back in my bed. The people in the cloaks were nearby somewhere – the kitchen, I shouldn't wonder – talking about me as if I weren't there. I suppose that was only natural because, after several hours of trying to get me to talk to them, hours of gentle words from the two blondes and what I suspected were insults from the blue man who looked like a shark, they'd realised what I knew all along. I _wasn't_ there. Not really. My physical body was present but my mind wasn't. And it was no good for them to ask where my mind _was_ because I honestly didn't know.

"Still not talking, un?" the marginally worried voice of a blonde male – Deidara I recalled through the turmoil in my mind – asked a blonde female – _his sister, Tsukai_, a voice in the thick folds of my brain echoed – as she stood by my bedroom window looking into the orange sky of sunset. She shook her head solemnly. I saw from my peripheral vision as I stared at the ceiling that her face was as grim as the male's question had sounded.

"It's not that she _refuses_ to speak with us... More like she _can't._" Tsukai explained, a sigh escaping her lips as she scratched the back of her neck tiredly. She'd been by my side from the second I was returned here, trying to coax me into speech with kind, understanding words, healing my injured feet and stroking my long white hair.

But she was right. I _couldn't _talk to them. I'd tried; God only knew how I'd tried. But the closest I'd get was opening my mouth before it snapped shut again of it's own accord, sealing the words inside me again just as I'd sealed away my heart. I wondered now, as I had at various intervals throughout the seemingly never ending day, if I'd permanently lost the ability to talk or if it was going to come back someday. It was fine either way – even if I _was_ able to talk, I doubted I'd have much to say – but it was a mild curiosity in a world that suddenly seemed so dim.

"What, un?"

"I've seen it in her eyes when I talk to her. A small glint of something... Anyway, she _wants_ to talk – or at the very least, would _like_ to – but can't." she shrugged, glancing at me. I turned my head slowly and met those peculiar reddish eyes of hers, so unlike Deidara who stood by her side with his fascinating blue orbs. My face remained impassive and I could tell the emptiness bothered them in some way – the way both their eyes tightened just slightly was enough to tell me that much. But it meant little. "I think we might have misjudged just how important her Grandfather was to her; I mean just look at what we've done! What were we thinking, Dei? We've broken her mind; her _soul_."

For all my empty numbness, the overwhelming urge to tell them that wasn't true clawed at my voice box painfully and I opened my mouth desperately to let the words free... only for them to dry up as my mouth clamped itself shut again. Like always the words refused to be spoken. A small glimmer of frustration – small enough to be inconsequential – sparked somewhere deep inside me; they needed to know it wasn't their fault. I _owed _them that much – they'd only been trying to do right by me, after all. This had nothing to do with them. It was one of those things that were just for Gramps and me, even though I'd _never_ expected one of the things that was just for Gramps and me to be quite so agonising. But that was something I had to accept and deal with myself.

"Go get something to eat, un. You look exhausted." Deidara encouraged his sister, clapping her shoulder and studying her with something akin to concern in his eyes. Not _quite_ concern but as close as a man of his persuasion was liable to get. Tsukai nodded wearily and I watched apathetically as she left the room, closing the door with a soft click behind her, before turning my attention (such as it was) to Deidara again.

I waited. So did he.

By the look in his eye I could tell he wanted _me_ to talk first. Wanted me to but didn't _expect_ me to – he had that resignation on his face, the one I recalled seeing back in the days when we used to fight over things that seemed so frivolous to me now. More than that he looked helpless. He'd wanted to be alone with me, there could be no doubt about that; he'd have left _with _Tsukai otherwise. But now that there was no one but me, him and my demons, he couldn't for the life of him think what to do next.

"Guess that was a bit of a shock for you, un?" he tried, laughing nervously as he attempted to defuse my melancholy with humour. It didn't work. Even in the state I was in I managed to give him something of a filthy look. A _shock_? That didn't even _begin_ to cover it. A shock is waking up to find a spider the size of a small cat crawling over your face. A shock is falling out of a tree and breaking both your legs and a rib or two. A shock is _not_ being told everything you've ever believed to be true was one big, ghastly lie – _that_ was borderline murder.

"Okay, okay!" he cried hurriedly, seeing the black look I was wearing and holding his hands up in repentance. "I _get_ it, un. No jokes."

He approached me slowly, hesitantly, as if afraid I might get up and run away again or something. He needn't have bothered. I didn't have it in me to run anymore. Running would only prolong the inevitable. But even so, he was careful as he sat on the edge of my bed, looking at me with that one visible eye as though trying to break into my mind and read my thoughts. Even if he could, I doubted he'd be able to make much more sense of them than I could.

"I looked into it." he told me, his claim awkward and unsure. I think – though I couldn't be _certain_ – that he was trying to get me to react in some way. In _any_ way, really. My silence scared him and his main objective, I realised, was to get me to say or do something that wasn't devoid of... well, everything. "Into your Grandfather, that is, un. Turns out Kakuzu wasn't _always _the bastard we know today."

He paused, monitoring my reception of his words carefully before sighing and continuing.

"Look, Mizuko... I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for you to take it like this, un. _I'm_ the one who insisted on telling you – I thought you'd want to know." Deidara apologised, reaching over and taking my limp hand in his strong one unexpectedly. He held it firmly even when I tried to withdraw from him and gently stroked the back with a strange look on his face – mostly confusion, though I could see a suppressed wonder in the depths of his blue eyes as well. Again his tenderness almost broke through my barrier, though this time it didn't last as long and was nowhere near as intense. A little longer, I knew, and there would be nothing anyone could do to break my stupor.

"I guess that's just me though, isn't it, un?" he chuckled, sounding very similar to my impression of how a man would sound by the bedside of his dying wife – something that might have made me blush in a distant time period. "Always doing what sounds good at the time... never giving a thought for the future. That's what got me into this mess, you know, un?"

I still didn't reply. Not with words at least. But I felt it necessary for him to know I understood what he meant – that he used 'this mess' in reference to being the mad terrorist bomber he was today – and managed to force my hand to contract slightly around his, squeezing so softly that I wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't noticed. He _did_ notice, however, and smiled up at me to let me know it.

"If you were talking to me I bet I could guess what you'd say, un." he continued. "You'd say 'You shouldn't be apologising for _that_, idiot! You should be apologising for kidnapping me in the first place!'" he joked in a scarily close impersonation of my voice. Then his good humour slipped and he was all business again. "D'you want me to tell you what I know about him, un? Kakuzu, I mean?"

Now there was a question. Did I want him to tell me the horrors of my Grandfather's life? Did I _really_ want to delve into that forbidden sect, unlock information so taboo that my entire village had felt it necessary to lie to me – I flinched at this revelation, surprising Deidara, as I realised that I was the only one who'd been left out of the loop for going on eight years now. Little things Hiroshi and Naoku and even my mom had let slip over the years, things I hadn't questioned at the time, suddenly made a whole new terrifying kind of sense.

_Can't do any harm, can it? What else have you got left to lose, really?_

I managed a small, curt nod and – to my infinite shock – Deidara let a small glimmer of that charmer's smile burst through, lighting the room and the mood infinitesimally as he shuffled up to sit beside me. He pulled me up by the elbows until I was propped against his chest and draped an arm casually across my shoulders, something I may have argued with or at the very least been embarrassed about had I been in my right mind – he was _always_ invading my personal space these days. Instead, though I was certainly shocked (at what in _particular_, I couldn't say), I allowed it and stared at the door to the hall since the ceiling was now out of bounds.

"I'm not up on the little details, un – the only reason I know at all is because I got Tsukai to squeeze as much info out of Hidan as she could. You're welcome for that, by the way." he added pointedly, looking down at me with a raised eyebrow – I wanted to know what he meant by that and made a mental note to ask later if I ever regained the gift of speech.

"Anyway, Kakuzu joined Akatsuki a long time ago, before either Hidan or me did – we're not sure when exactly but I'm sure you could probably work that out yourself, un. From what I gathered he was on a mission at the time – to spy on Pein, I think, who'd just been made the leader of the Rain Village." _Now _that's _interesting. Rain Village, huh? Looks like the pieces are starting to come together. _"Pein was impressed with his skills and offered him a load of money to join, un. Which I guess he took otherwise we wouldn't be here, hm?"

I raised an eyebrow this time and looked up at him with what I hoped was a mocking scowl. Was this meant to make me feel _better_? All it did really was prove that my Grandfather had chosen Akatsuki over me even then, when he _should_ have still been the man I'd known and loved for so long. Maybe it would've been easier to take if he'd, I dunno, been forced to join or something. But no, I was being told he willingly joined even after filling my head with lies that he loved and cared for me.

"I'm getting to it, un!" Deidara chuckled, catching the look I was giving him. "The point I'm trying to make is that when Tsukai asked Hidan what he _did_ with all the money he scrimped and saved, Hidan said he didn't really know. So I checked it out and guess what I found, un." A momentary pause in the hopes that I was going to reply, which I didn't. "All the money Kakuzu earns through -," I gave him a pleading look – I didn't _want_ to know how the miser made his millions. Deidara took the hint and quickly altered what he'd been about to say. "- through his _work, _it all gets sent to the same place. A bank, un – into a particular account with specific instructions from the owner on how the money has to be handled."

In spite of myself I was getting curious – specific instructions? Knowing that tight-fisted, money-grabbing eyesore, the instructions were probably to immediately kill anyone but himself who got too close to his loot. But something in his voice, poorly suppressed excitement I think, made me doubt that was the case.

"The bank was – _is_ – the Village Hidden in the Waterfall's vault and the instructions are that any money he sends there is to be 'held in trust' for his granddaughter until she turns twenty. Or gets married, un." he added reluctantly, his features darkening slightly in what I reckoned must be pure abhorrence for the concept of all things marital; a natural guy-reaction to such feminine idealism.

I was stunned. I won't deny it because let's face it, who _wouldn't _be in light of all that had happened. But at the same time I wasn't... _touched_ by it. The gesture was nice and all, and it proved that there was – or had been – _something _between my Gramps and me that wasn't an outright lie. But it didn't change who he was, what he'd done, the innocents he'd killed... it didn't change _anything_. That money was blood money, made at the expense of homes, livelihoods, lives and who-knows-what else.

"Guess he must really care 'bout you, un." Deidara murmured, sounding typically uncomfortable – a combination of the 'guy' and 'crazy criminal' in his personality – but proud of himself for deducing as much. I really hated to burst his bubble – _truly _I did – but I knew that wasn't _quite _true; I shook my head slowly, sadness in my movements that spoke louder than any words. _That's wrong, _they said. _You're wrong._

_ "_You don't think so?" Deidara asked, glancing down at me, thoughtfulness in his expression as he considered my non-words. He looked like he wanted to argue. Or at the very least say something nice, like perhaps Hiroshi or even Naoku-on-a-good-day would. But then – and I could see the _exact_ moment it happened in his eyes – he crashed back to reality as I had several times throughout this terror tale of a journey. He was Deidara; Akatsuki bomber, missing nin and, not to put too fine a point on it, murdering son of a bitch. He wasn't designed to handle nice. But aside from that, I think he knew deep down that there wasn't any point – I'd be dead soon anyway.

At last he sighed, defeat hanging on his breath as he let the air out of his lungs. He laid his cheek against the crown of my head in a very tender gesture I would never have expected from him, stroking my arm gently, almost consolingly.

"That jackass, un." he murmured softly, ruffling my hair with his speech. And I supposed, though it may merely have been wishful thinking on my part, that that was the closest Deidara would ever get to admitting he cared about me.

We sat like that in silence for untold hours, and if I'd thought of anything at all during that long peaceful preface, it was of how peculiar we must seem to anyone not wholly aware of what we'd been through together. My village, my friends, my family (or what's left of it), the Akatsuki... none of them would ever understand this quiet understanding Deidara and I had found.

In many ways it felt like the beginning of the end. It had started here, tonight, and in little over a week it would end. I wondered if maybe this was the way it was always going to be; if I'd perhaps been fighting a losing battle all this time, trying to guarantee my safety when my safety was a card just not on the table. The only way I was leaving the game was through elimination.

At last, as the early rays of sunlight crept through the curtains signalling that a new day had at long last broken, Deidara moved. I figured, having been awake all night and not moving so much as an inch, he needed to stretch his legs, maybe take a leak and find some sustenance. But instead he adjusted his weight and position so that he could reach my lips, pressing his mouth against mine in a gentle, hesitant kiss, devoid of the dominance and self-assurance he'd built up since our first.

I mused that this – the kissing – was fast becoming a perpetually recurring habit, one that would be drawing to a close sooner rather than later; unless he was planning on morphing into the knight in shining armour from my dreams, that is.

He drew back just slightly and spoke for the first time in hours, our lips still touching as if he were afraid to withdraw the physical contact.

"I know I'm being stupid, un. And I know that pretty soon it's gonna happen anyway. But please don't disappear, Mizuko. Not like this, un."

I frowned; I didn't get what he meant. Disappear like what? The only disappearing I'd be doing any time soon would be done through a no doubt unspeakable execution a week or so from now and there was only one way I could go about that – writhing in pain the likes of which I couldn't even presently imagine.

"It sounds dumb but... when you're gone, I don't wanna remember you like this, un. Lifeless, unresponsive... I wanna remember the Mizuko who made me laugh, the girl who had attitude and guts, un." He sounded so lost... Like a little boy instead of the frighteningly strong man he was. He backed away further to better see my eyes as he talked, doubtless looking for something of the real me to prove I still existed. How I wished I could know for sure there _was_. "Don't lock me out like this, un. Talk to me, insult me, anything you want... Just don't leave me with the memory of you as an empty shell."

I can't really say what it was for sure. Maybe the almost hurt tone in his voice (which I may or may not have imagined); perhaps it was the way his eye(s) flickered between my face and the smooth bedsheets spread neatly across my stomach, like a confused, uncomfortable teenager (well, one much younger than he actually was). Whatever it was, it opened the gateway in my throat that had previously prevented any and all speech escaping my lips.

Reaching up, I cupped his cheek in my small, terribly pale-looking hand and stroked gently with the pad of my thumb. A smile saturated with regret, small though it was, pulled at the corners of my mouth. Why had I let it get this far? Why had I allowed him to get so involved when I _knew_ how it had to end? Worse, why had I let _myself_ get so involved? There was no denying what I felt for him anymore – no more hiding from myself, lying in my own head to satisfy a moral code that had been obliterated in a single day.

But...

… that didn't mean I'd be admitting anything either. I could keep this final piece of bittersweet happiness all for me, couldn't I? This last painful joy couldn't harm anyone if I was the only one who knew. I'd die soon; there was no escaping that. In my last moments I'd probably be in such agony that I'd forget everything anyway. So wasn't it fair that I be permitted to cling to this last shred of light before it was permanently, irrevocably extinguished? I think that wasn't too much to ask.

"It's better this way," I croaked, sounding weary and beaten. I had to give Deidara his due, he only looked shocked for a quarter of an instant before he reassembled his features into a carefully impassive expression. "I'll die soon... this is better." Again that look crossed his face, the one that said he'd argue if only he could think of a god-damn thing to say. I cut him off before he could gather his thoughts enough to try. "My memory lane is lined with nothing but lies and liars. Honestly, I don't think I'd care if I died this very second. I appreciate that you wanted what was best for me so I forgive you for making him tell me the truth. And I know we've become something like _friends,_" I smiled ironically for a second but was too weak to make it stick. "over our journey together so I kind of understand when you say you don't want me to disappear. But Deidara... it's too little too late. One honest friend so near the end of my time isn't enough to fix a past filled with endless falsehoods."

He sighed and nodded miserably – he knew as well as I did that nothing could be done to fix this. He was just clutching at straws.

"I doubt it means anything to you now, un. But I really wish I could save you. A girl like you doesn't deserve any of this. It might not help but I really am sorry, un... for everything."

I didn't reply. I don't think I _could've _even if I'd wanted to and I thought that maybe I was back to being unable to talk at all. That would be fine – I'd said what I needed to say. If I had to spend what little time I had left in silence, I could handle it now that I'd let him know he was forgiven.

Because regardless of how twisted my world had become as a result of his (and Akatsuki's) interference in my life, I couldn't bear to die knowing he would think I saw him only as a tormentor and kidnapper. At the very least I could let him know he was a friend.


	21. Final Farewells and Revoking Requests

As it turned out – whether for better or worse I couldn't decide – I wasn't stricken mute for the rest of eternity like I'd first suspected I would be. After roughly a day and a half of short-lived bursts of speech, in which I said little of consequence and even less that actually made sense, I regained the full, glorious usage of a working voice box and an almost fully operational brain to go with it. I can't even _begin_ to describe the bliss of having a semi-clear head again. It's true what they say; you never reallyappreciate what you've got till it's gone. I learned that the hard way – and _far_ too late for it to actually do any good.

Okay, I'll admit it. Maybe I wasn't _quite _the same as I used to be; I doubted I ever would be again. A mere week wasn't enough to heal in and the fact that I had to see the cause of my ailment every meal time certainly didn't improve matters. But slowly – _very _slowly – I started to take back some shred of my identity from beneath the layer of ice that'd obscured it since my world was torn to pieces. And being a shred of a person was better than being a whole of a nobody.

I won't lie – being _able_ to talk again didn't necessarily mean I _did. _When I spoke – ifI spoke – my words were short, concise and never meaningless. I wasted no breath on pointless banter and after a while, even the most determined of my house mates stopped trying to draw me into conversations the old me would've pounced on. Tobi stopped pining for my attention with his silly, childish antics; Tsukai stopped trying to lure the 'real' Mizuko out with what pathetic little gossip could be gleaned in this vacation home from hell ... Even Kisame, blue shark of indomitable spirit and wisdom, quit with the humiliating insults when he realised they had little or no affect on me any more.

There was only one person in the whole house who never gave up on me, who went out of his way to hold at least _one_ one-sided conversation with me every day. I'm sure no one's particularly shocked to discover it was none other than Deidara.

His behaviour was nothing if not weird and whilst I appreciated his efforts – more than I can say – I really didn't see why he bothered. He was an S-class criminal who usually cared about nothing; even his own life was but a chip in a game he didn't stress about winning. So why he would spend so much time on a lost cause like me was a mystery neither I nor any of the others could understand. I doubted even Tsukai knew what was going on with him, and she was his twin.

At one point, during what can only be described as an _unforgettable _dinner the evening after my voice returned, Hidan sounded Deidara out on his seeming insistence to squander his time with me. I say 'sounded out' but, well, that's not really an accurate way of putting what actually happened...

"_Will you give the fuck up, blondie?! She didn't answer you yesterday or the day before that, so what the fuck makes you think she will now?!" _the resident priest of our strange company had demanded. Deidara'd just asked me how I liked the food – the same way he did every meal time – and to say this irked the ill-tempered holy man is putting it mildly.

"_What makes you think she won't, un?" _Deidara had shot back coolly, taking a bite of a large lop-sided-looking pork bun with the kind of nonchalance deserving of a medal. _"Can't know for sure unless we try, hm?"_

"_I'm so sick of your motherfuckin' attitude!" _Hidan snapped irritably. _"You talk like it even fuckin' matters! Get a clue dumb ass; the bitch is as good as dead anyway! N' good fuckin' riddance if you ask me." _he added in a furious mutter. I guessed he was still sore about that Brother Snowball business...

The white-haired blasphemer's curse-riddled oration was punctuated a mere second later with a yelp of shock and pain as a very fast, very _sharp _kunai knife hit him squarely in-between the eyes. The sickening '_SHLIK' _as the deadly blade embedded itself deeply in his flesh was – and I remember this part very distinctly – enough to make me think twice about downing my last pork bun. It didn't go to waste though as Kisame, seeing my face pale with disgust, fished it off my plate with the swiftness of a professional food poacher.

Barely flinching, Hidan pulled the weapon out with a rough jerk and tossed it behind him, letting it clatter to the floor with a high-pitched clink. He glared lividly at the relaxed blonde – who appeared not to have moved an inch, still chewing a mouthful of pork bun with his eyes closed, the picture of innocence – and even as I watched, a gruesome crimson ribbon of fresh blood rolled down his nose and pooled under his eyes to slide down his cheeks, making him look like the animated corpse of some dead war victim.

"_We _all _know what your game is, blondie." _Hidan had growled hatefully, wiping the blood from his forehead with the sleeve of his Akatsuki coat as if the wound was everyday instead of something that should definitely have killed him. "_You just wanna fuck her. Don't get all pissy with me 'cause you can't get your own way."_

At Hidan's words the room seemed to erupt with the boisterous, carefree laughter of Kisame, who'd been about to swallow my last pork bun whole. Everyone else remained tactfully silent, either not knowing how to react without getting themselves killed (Tsukai and Tobi) or not caring enough to react at all (Itachi and _him_). Deidara's face became an icy mask – the same one, ironically, that had scared the bejeesus out of me when we first arrived at this house – and I quickly decided I was done eating. I really didn't want to stay and listen to what was sure to be a mortifying argument with me in the middle.

"_I'm leaving." _I'd dead-panned, lifting myself from the table and doing precisely that.

I'm not sure what happened afterwards but the following day, both Hidan and Tsukai were nowhere to be seen; it didn't take a lot of imagination to guess where they were or what they were doing either. Tsukai was the only healer in our group after all...

Aside from the time I spent with Deidara, I really didn't do much else. Mostly I slept, trying with minimal success to make the week or so leading up to mine, Deidara and Tobi's departure pass faster. I'd accepted death fully and unlike back on the boat, this time I meant it. I wasn't afraid. Not even a little. But the waiting was nearly enough to drive me insane. I was weary; I just wanted it all to be over. Plus, the lack of fear didn't make the knowledge of the grotesque pain I'd have to endure any more pleasant.

When I wasn't sleeping or listening to Deidara go on about things that half the time I didn't actually listen to, I was writing. Much as I'd loveto say I was writing something epic and impressive, like poetry or something, I'm afraid I have to confess that it wasn't _nearly_ so fantastic. What I was writing was more practical than a haiku or a sonnet; what I was writing had _purpose. _

Letters. To my mother, friends and of course, my village leader. I'd decided the day after uncovering my Gramps' betrayal that no matter what, I didn't want the village to lump me in with the likes of _him. _I didn't want to be seen as a traitor when it wasn't me that had done anything wrong – after all, it was the elders of Waterfall Village who'd condemned me to die when I needed them most, not the other way around.

I won't tell you what I said in the letters – that was for the recipients eyes only. What I _will _say is that even after everything that'd happened, all the betrayals and the lies and everything else, I couldn't bring myself to hate them. _Any_ of them. Loyalty is ingrained in my system, part of my very essence; there's nothing the Waterfall Village or any of my loved ones (with the exception of Kakuzu, who'd done something terrible enough that Buddha himself wouldn't forgive it) could do that would change that. Unlike my treacherous grandfather, I really _would_ be loyal to my last breath; if nothing else I could be satisfied with that.

And today, the day before we were supposed to set out for the _real_ Akatsuki base, I intended to pass those letters along to my waiting friend in the woods. After what would likely be a tearful, heart-shredding goodbye, Hiroshi would take them back to Waterfall Village and everyone would learn that I was dead – or would be by the time Hiroshi made it back – and they'd know _exactly _what I'd been through. And with that, once and for all, this whole thing would be over.

As I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, willing sleep to claim me but knowing deep down that it wouldn't – not this time – I thought about all the things I was going to miss. Assuming our souls go somewhere else when we die (which I believed wholeheartedly; I had to have _something_ to cling to), I wondered if I would be able to see the people I loved from wherever it was I would end up. Would I be able to see Naoku make a successful name for himself in the ninja ranks? That boy was destined for greatness and it would be a shame if I couldn't be around to see it. And what about Hiroshi? He was sweet and lovable, handsome and protective; the kind of guy _any_ girl would be lucky to have. Would I ever see him married to a nice girl from the village? See him settle down and have gorgeous kids who'd never know their Godmother?

Hiroshi was a good man. My best friend yes, but he was so much more than that – he was like a brother to me. We'd grown up together; we'd gotten into trouble together; we'd laughed and cried together. We were on the same ninja squad and we'd planned to be like that for a long time to come. We were gonna grow old together and then in our old age we were gonna die the same way we'd lived; _together. _

Who was going to be there to comfort him when he got the jitters the night before his wedding? Who was going to embarrass the hell out of him with the wedding speech from his nightmares? Who was going to babysit his kids when he and his wife needed a rest? Who was going to _be there _for him – look after him – when I was gone?

The sad truth was, I just didn't know. There was nothing I could do about this; it was out of my hands. But somehow I felt like it was _my _fault. Like I was abandoning him the same way his parents had all those years ago. If I hadn't dawdled on the way back from the mission that had started this whole mess; if I hadn't paused when I had that chance to escape back on the boat; if I hadn't...

But that did no good. 'Ifs' weren't going to get me anywhere. 'Ifs' wouldn't change anything. The only thing I could do was pass along my letters and hope that whatever happened, wherever my soul ended up, I'd still be able to take care of him. It was the best I could hope for. It was _all _I could hope for.

Giving sleep up as a lost cause, I sat up on my bed and grabbed the finished letters, written on the back of some useless old scrolls given to me by Tsukai. I felt at the headband – _Hiroshi's_ headband – still tied around my wrist for a moment before spinning on my heel and exiting the room that had become my sanctuary in the past week; my place of peace, so to speak.

As I marched down the corridor, headed first for the kitchen to get clearance for a walk in the woods form one of my sentinels, I wiped at my face and at the solemn beads of leaking sadness that had formed there. This was no time for tears; I had one last piece of business to attend to before I could truly give in to my weak heart. One last thing to do to ensure as happy a future for my nearest and dearest as I possibly could.

/\

As I predicted, permission was a fairly easy acquirement now that the Akatsuki members had seen my feisty temper dwindle away to nothing. Had I still been truly myself, I doubt Kisame would've been quite so open to the idea – although that being said, he was never the brightest crayon in the box, so who knows? Maybe he _would _have let me go regardless of my mental state.

When I entered the modestly sized kitchen, the blue shark-man was sat almost peacefully at the dining table, a large newspaper – an interesting oddity, I thought, considering the nearest town was miles away – in his oversized hands, which he seemed to be reading with moderate attentiveness. He didn't look up as I stood awkwardly near the chair opposite his, but I knew he was aware of my presence nonetheless – smart or not, he was a ninja few had underestimated and lived to tell the tale.

The others were nowhere in sight but that in itself wasn't so unusual – I'd noticed that the individual members rarely chose to endure each others' company for long, some avoiding contact altogether unless needs demanded otherwise. Kisame was one of the more sociable members, along with the erratic Tobi and sarcastic Deidara, but even _he_ had his moments of solitude.

It wasn't until I cleared my throat loudly and deliberately that he looked over the top of his newspaper and graced me with his appraising acknowledgement, such as it was. Understandably, his eyes were wary as he regarded me in careful scrutiny; this was, after all, the first time I'd approached him since the incident with my grandfather. Up till now I'd only spoken to him when he spoke first and even then, only to answer him with as few words as humanly possible. My sudden appearance was unexpected and Kisame didn't handle unexpected well.

"D'you need somethin' kiddo?" he asked, a cautious frown pulling at his sharky features comically. It was a strange combination – the aquatic characteristics and the complex emotion – worthy of a cartoon show and for a moment I was close to hysterical laughter – but that would _not_ help his opinion of my psychological stability.

_A hero... a guardian angel... a therapist... take your pick, shark-boy. I need 'em all, _I answered his question silently.

I didn't put my caustic thoughts into words though I _did _indulge myself in the smallest of wry smiles – it was good to know the real me was there somewhere, even if I didn't want anyone _else_ to see her. The way Kisame's eyebrows shot into his hairline told me he'd seen the slight rise in my cheekbones and I quickly wiped all emotion from my face before he could think more of it.

"May I go for a walk in the woods?" I asked with a perfectly executed poker-face.

I said it as if I wasn't bothered either way – there was nothing in my voice (or expression for that matter) that suggested any sort of feeling behind the request. And I think that alarmed Kisame more than anything else. The only thing more suspicious than too much emotion was no emotion at all.

"Why would you wanna do that, princess?" he questioned me suspiciously, lowering the paper fractionally so he could gauge my body language better.

I was sure he was as aware as I was that today was my last day at this house – possibly my last day alive depending on how big the task was they wanted me to complete for them. I suspected he thought this would be some sort of last ditch attempt to get free but if he did he was dumber than I thought. Surely even _he_ could see that I'd well and truly folded; I wasn't going to try escaping again. Not when I knew there was no way it would ever happen even if I tried.

"It's my last day," I shrugged, forgetting for an instant to play the cards close to my chest. "I can't sleep. Deidara isn't around to talk to. I have nothing to do and I'd rather not spend the day contemplating my crappy fate."

He studied me a little longer, judging my words, deciding whether they were true or not. I was sure he'd have no objections – what I'd told him was essentially true and even if it wasn't, where would I go? How far could I really get before they caught up with me? There wasn't that much of the day left – it was late afternoon so I'd have a maximum of four, maybe five hours running time before I had to rest. Probably less than that considering I hadn't eaten a proper meal all day.

I saw in his eyes that he'd followed my exact thought processes and had come to the same conclusion. That there was no harm in letting me go for a little walk. Actually I saw a lot more than that in his eyes. I saw a spark of pleading – he was begging without words, imploring me not to make him discuss my unfair death sentence so close to it's realisation. And I saw regret. He was sorry I had to die. Not sorry enough to want to stop it, but still... Sorry enough to make me glad I'd met him.

"Sure thing, sweet cheeks. Just be back before dinner or else... you know."

I _did_ know. Or else the whole lot of them would come down on my head like the hammer of God himself. Yeah. I heard him loud and clear.

"I'll bare that in mind." I said formally, stepping up to the sliding glass door. I was about to leave when I suddenly paused, one foot outside, hand resting against the frame in a cruel parody of the last time I'd left via this door. I turned back to the big blue man, who'd already returned his focus to the paper in front of him, and before I could reconsider, called out to him.

"Kisame?"

"Hm? What's up?" he drawled, already deep in the throes of whatever fascinating story he'd been reading before I interrupted. Or – as I thought was more likely – admiring whichever model's scantily clad body was airbrushed on to the crisp pages.

I smiled briefly before answering, using muscles in my face I hadn't used in ages as my expression brightened more in those brief seconds than they had in days.

"I told you before, didn't I? Don't call me sweet cheeks."

With that I left, stepping out into a world that was deceptively beautiful for the grim atmosphere surrounding the House of Akatsuki. I slid the door shut behind me and took a deep, cleansing breath of crisp, earth-fragranced air. It smelt like pine and rain, one of my favourite scents in the whole world, with hints of juniper, damp grass and loamy soil. The breeze was soft and chilly, but not uncomfortably so, and the air was awash with the caws of some bird or other roosting high in the treetops. The calming rustle of plant life as it danced in the afternoon draft was like music to my ears and for a moment – just one tiny moment – I found it hard to believe anything was wrong at all. Hard to believe I was on my way to deliver my final testaments; hard to believe I was going to have to say farewell forever to my best friend; hard to believe I was going to die a horrible death worthy of the most ghastly nightmares.

But those things were _true_ and I had to remember that; there would be no last minute rescue of fairytale origin. There was no escape route, no get-out clause and no reprieve to be had. I'd spent enough time in denial. It was time to accept what is, forsake the dreams and fantasies, and get my final task on this earth completed. It was probably going to be awful; I was sure I'd probably cry. I _knew _Hiroshi would cry. He'd fight and argue, beg me to run away with him and – if I knew myself at all – I'd be sorely tempted to do just that.

But I couldn't. I couldn't give into myself no matter what he said because if I did, I'd only put him in danger. I'd told him before and I was certain I'd have to tell him again, but if Akatsuki caught him they'd kill him, no questions asked. It wouldn't matter what I did or said, they'd slaughter him and leave his body to rot then they'd take me and do the same when I gave them what they wanted.

I wouldn't allow that to happen. There was absolutely no way I was going to let him throw his life away over something that wouldn't make the blindest bit of difference anyway. No. I would die alone and Hiroshi would go back to Waterfall Village, live a good life and then die when he was old and retired and it was his time – _not_ before. That was my final request; it would be the last thing I'd ever ask him for and as a man of honour, he'd have no choice but grant it.

I wandered through the woods at a leisurely pace, brushing my fingers over the vibrant leaves of tangled bushes and low hanging branches, listening to the pleasant squelch of mud under my shoes and breathing in the sweet scent of forest life in all it's glory. The world truly was a beautiful place. So intricate and mysterious while still managing to stay simple and blatant. Art... That's what I'd called it back then, on that mission that had cost me so much. Art. I still believed that; it was still _true_. Maybe it was the only thing that ever _had _been.

/\

Finding Hiroshi was fairly easy. I just needed to wander into the woods far enough and _he _came to _me. _His smile as he jumped lithely from the branches of a towering pine was wide and sincere – he was authentically happy to see me – and it cut at my heart like a million tiny razor blades. It hadn't been so long since I last saw him – not even a whole week ago – but when I saw his face it was like I was seeing him again for the first time in years.

His hair was still as scruffy as ever, brown and sloppy, like his attitude – a little longer too I reckoned, what with him having been out here for days without a barber – and his eyes glittered with boyish mischief, the kind that had shone identically in my own many a time before. He was very tall and well built, exactly like I remembered him, his usual grey attire fitting snugly and some how highlighting his blue eyes perfectly. The same Hiroshi I'd known and loved for years – my friend, my brother and my other half.

He lived up to his titles well – the second he caught my eye his smile slipped to be replaced with a look of worry bordering on panic. He knew me so well, could read me in an instant. He knew there was something wrong and, true to his ninja way, he went straight to the heart of the problem with a perception he rarely displayed off the field.

"What is it? What's wrong? They've set a date for the execution?" he demanded, eyes alert and already scanning for hints of danger in the damp, earthy world around us. The way he spoke those questions made my chest ache with regret and pity – I could tell before we even started the conversation that he still harboured hopes of saving me. Hopes that I had to eradicate quickly and efficiently.

I approached him slowly, wearily, and placed a hand on his shoulder as I passed him on his right side, throwing him a resigned smile before I moved away to sit on the fallen, half-rotted tree trunk a few feet away. The sodden wood sank almost imperceptibly under my weight and with an internal groan I realised what a foolish mistake I'd just made – by the time I got back my butt would be soaked and I knew a certain few men back there who wouldn't hesitate to point it out. _Too late now I guess._

"Relax, Hiro. No one followed me – most of them weren't around when I left and anyway, I got permission. Come over here; have a seat." I sighed, patting the mockery of a bench on my left and watching my friend reluctantly loosen up his battle-ready posture.

He joined me on the tree trunk but remained tactfully silent, waiting for me to tell him the scoop in my own time instead of pressuring me like anyone else would. That was one of the things I liked most about my Hiroshi; he was a majorly impatient guy in general but when it came to me he could wait forever. He knew I hated being rushed and I was more likely to keep the secret to myself if he pressed for it – one of the perks of being inseperable for over a decade was knowing stuff about each other that others would overlook.

I wondered where to start. Wondered if there was a right or wrong way to phrase what would be a dreadful blow no matter which way he looked at it – I knew this because I could imagine how I'd react in his position. It was one of the things that made me unbelievably grateful _I'd _been kidnapped and not him. It was cowardly of me and I _knew _it but I'd rather be the one to die than the one left behind because at least the one who died didn't need to feel like they'd been ripped in half.

I thought about it for a long time, minutes which piled on top of each other relentlessly, until I came to the conclusion I knew I must inevitably come to; the best way to tell him was to tell him truthfully. I didn't want his last memories of me to involve me lying straight to his face. He deserved better. He deserved the truth.

"Yeah," I said gently, and then – because enough time had passed that he might not understand what I meant – I added, "They've set an execution date."

I couldn't look at him as he digested that news. I couldn't bare to see the hurt, the anguish, the realisation that there was no hope for me anymore, flash across his face. It was too much to ask of my composure; too much to expect of me. And to his credit, Hiroshi _didn't_ ask me for the impossible – what he _did_ however, was almost worse.

"I see." he stated in a clam, authoritative voice that told me straight away he didn't see at all. There was too much control in his tone; too much collected surety, like a tactician planning his next move from the corner he'd been backed into. But before I could argue or even say a word, he was off on a spiel of plans that I knew would never work.

"We have to leave; _now_. When's the date? How much time do we have? In fact, don't tell me. It doesn't matter. We'll leave immediately and hopefully catch Naoku on our way; I know we can't fight them but maybe we can outrun them and he... what?"

I was shaking my head tiredly, my neck hardly able to support the weight. It was exactly as I'd anticipated. He was dead set on rescuing me to the point where he wasn't thinking clearly. _I _had to change that. Hiroshi had to be made to see sense, no matter _what_ I had to do to achieve it.

"Give it up, Hiroshi. You and I both know there's nothing else to be done. We can't fight them; we can't outrun them; we can't _beat_ them. Akatsuki have won and there's no way out for me." I asserted plaintively, looking up at him at last and resting a hand on his biceps with a sad smile. I was trying to sound reasonable and for the most part, I think I did well. In his blue eyes, the colour of a summer sky, I saw horrified understanding and although it was painful for me to look at, at least it was understanding of a sort.

The comprehension was immediately buried – in a typically 'Hiroshi' gesture – with denial, belligerence and a childlike quality of stubbornness, and I knew (had always known, really) that he wouldn't make this easy for either of us.

"There has to be _something _we can do. If we leave now they wouldn't know for a good few hours, right? You said you got permission so it'll be a while before they get suspicious and by then we'll be close enough to Waterfall Village that they can't do anything about it." he insisted, standing and pacing restlessly in front of me – something he did without thinking when he was emotionally strained or under enormous pressure.

"It'll take at least a week to get back to the village and they'd catch us in no time when we stopped to rest." I swatted his suggestion aside with cruel, hard logic. But I was wise enough to know this battle of wills wasn't over yet; not by a long shot.

"We can take a really obscure route back then – one they wouldn't expect. It would take longer but they'd never find us"

"You underestimate their intelligence – they'd probably predict something like that coming from me. Besides there are loads of them back there – six who'd _definitely_ hunt me down, maybe seven – so they'd spread out and cover all the possible routes anyway."

"What about decoys? We can whip up a couple hundred water clones and send them in different directions while we slip through the net."

"Uses up too much chakra – we'd be sitting ducks when they finally caught up with us." I emphasised the '_when' _to underline the fact that they _would _catch up, eventually. It might take them a while but I knew there was no '_if' _in the equation. "And anyway, what if one of the clones led them to Naoku? He'd jump in to help our decoys and die pointlessly."

"He can take care of himself!" Hiroshi snapped, losing his temper.

Up until this point I'd been strictly clinical about the situation, brushing off his ideas one by one with the flawless rationale I'd put myself through during the rare lulls between sleeping, eating, chatting and writing. I'd thought through every possibility, _every _slight chance, and every time I'd deemed the plan too risky. I didn't want anybody else hurt and unfortunately that would almost certainly happen if I was stupid enough to agree to leave.

I'll admit it freely, even knowing that the only thing I'd achieve by running would be the probable death of one or both of my friends (and more than a few civilians since I'd have to flee through towns and cities as well), I was still desperately struggling to keep myself in check. I wanted to dive into his arms and agree to run until my legs were no longer fit to carry me. I wanted leave this very second with nothing but a prayer and fate to help us on our way.

But this was reality and wants as dangerous as those only got people killed.

Hiroshi should have _known _that. He should have known that Naoku being 'able to look after himself' wasn't the issue. And the infuriating thing was, he _did _know. He just didn't want to accept it.

"Are you willing to bet his life on it?!" I snapped back, angry with his obvious willingness to sacrifice others if it meant saving me. "You know as well as I do that Naoku wouldn't stand a chance against them! And it's not just him! I've spent _months_ with the Akatsuki; they _know_ what I'm like! Do you think we could pass through any town or village on our way home without there being casualties?! _Don't _underestimate them, Hiroshi. They wouldn't hesitate to kill off innocent villagers to flush me out of hiding and I don't know about you, but Iwill _not_ stand by and watch that happen."

"So we avoid populated areas then!" Hiroshi shouted, fists clenched by his sides, shaking with what would appear to be rage but what I suspected was more likely to be fear. "No one has to die, we just have to avoid going through the towns!"

I took a deep breath to steady myself. This wasn't getting us anywhere. Shouting matches with Hiroshi were never very productive – he still thought on the basis that if you were louder and the last to get a word in, you won. This wasn't like those trivial arguments we'd had back in the day. This was real life; this was the difference between one pointless death and two pointless deaths. If _he _couldn't calm down and talk this through rationally like an adult, then _I _would have to.

"You know that wouldn't work, Hiroshi. Even if _we_ didn't go through the towns, Akatsuki still might, and more would die because it would look like I was refusing to come out. I know somewhere inside there's a part of you that knows I'm talking sense here but you're afraid to acknowledge it because it feels like you're betraying me. You don't want to leave me here to die and I don't blame you – I wouldn't want to leave you either. But put yourself in my spot for a while; what would _you_ do if you were me?"

He didn't reply; just stared at his feet miserably and kicked sullenly at the leaf litter. I knew I was getting through to him and the results were encouraging if a great deal heartbreaking. If he knew me as well as I thought he did, he'd know what I was going through right now and so he'd see why I was doing what I was doing.

"You see?" I whispered gently. "This is the way it has to be."

Deciding now was as good a time as any, I pulled the letters out of my top and walked over to where he stood. Hesitantly, I wrapped him in the warmest hug I was capable off, trying to fight of his hurt and his sadness with just the power of my embrace. I clutched the wrinkled scrolls upon which I'd written my final farewells tightly in my taut fist, holding Hiroshi as he started to sob brokenly on my shoulder like he had many times before in the forest of our childhood.

It wasn't long before the tears started to leak from my own eyes and we held each other securely as our emotions broke free. My heart felt unbelievably heavy and I could almost convince myself that it had turned to cold, dense lead in my chest. _At the very least, _I thought wretchedly, _whatever Akatsuki does to me from now on can't hurt nearly as much as this. Nothing can be as bad as this._

When my eyes had cried themselves dry and I thought I couldn't possibly have another tear to shed for the rest of eternity, I pulled back from Hiroshi and made him look into my eyes. He was still crying, a sight that tore me apart in a more literal sense than I'd believed possible for the phrase, but I forced him to look straight at me as I uttered what I knew was my last goodbye to him.

"Look at us!" I laughed, though the sound was completely without humour. "Crying like a couple of babies, eh?! We're ninja. Death should be everyday to us." I reached up with my free hand – the one that wasn't holding the letters – and wiped his face for him, brushing away the tears even if I couldn't brush away the pain behind them or the evidence that they'd been there.

"Listen to me, Hiro, okay? You have been the most amazing friend anyone could ever ask for. Whenever I've needed you, you've always been there no matter what. Even in my darkest days, when my grandfather left the village to join Akatsuki-,"

"You know about that?!" Hiroshi gasped, features thunderstruck. Clearly my suspicions about the whole village knowing the truth and keeping it from me were true – the knowledge stuck in my chest like an axe wound, deep and nasty and infected. I'd known it, naturally, but it was still a jagged pill to swallow, especially in light of the fact that Hiroshi was the one to confirm it.

_Easy, Mizuko. This isn't about you anymore. They probably had their reasons. _So I put my bitterness at the exposé aside and continued with my sendoff.

"Yes. I learned a few days ago. The man told me himself." I grimaced, remembering the dark day like it had been only yesterday. "But that doesn't matter." I disregarded it with a wave of my hand. "What matters is that you've been there for me and I want you to know that wherever I go, I'll do _everything_ I can to be there for you too. I promise you that, Hiroshi. I'll look after you even after I'm gone. As a last favour, I want you to take these letters back to the village with you and deliver them to the appropriate people. You have one too; don't open it till you're long gone from here, okay? Promise me."

He looked like he wanted to argue with me again but I threw him a look that made him think twice.

"I promise." he muttered, accepting the letters from me and stowing them in the weapons pouch on his belt. I gave him another quick hug and then took a step back to say the words I knew had to be said. The time had come; it was time for us to part ways for the very last time.

"Right," I said, taking another cleansing breath. "It's time for you to go."

"Mizuko? Mizuko, un? You out here?"

As though exactly on cue, Deidara's voice echoed through the trees from far off and I froze with the sheer unexpectedness of it. I didn't know how long I'd been out but it must have been long enough for them to get worried about my whereabouts. Either that or dinner was early tonight – highly likely given that we had a journey to embark on tomorrow morning.

I unfroze in an instant though it felt like forever, and was pushing Hiroshi in the direction opposite to Deidara's voice with rough, panicked shoves before he even realised I'd moved.

He couldn't be seen here; I couldn't let him get caught, no matter what. _No matter what._

"W-wait! Wait Mizuko." Hiroshi objected, trying to fight against my insistent heaves. I hushed him and kept pushing and he reluctantly allowed himself to be steered away – it was no small feat either! The boy was a man mountain!

"Run, Hiroshi!" I cried in a terrified whisper, looking distractedly over my shoulder for signs of approach while trying to get him out of sight. "Run, quickly! I'll go back and distract him. Escape!"

Abruptly, I halted my distressed shoving and started to move toward the general area Deidara was in. I hadn't taken more than three steps when Hiroshi's voice stopped me again and I felt my pulse thunder in my veins with dread. _This is taking too long! Deidara will be here any minute!_

"Wait Mizuko. About your grandpa... I'm sorry... I... I..."

"Never mind that!" I hissed urgently, giving him another shove towards the safe zone. "I told you it doesn't matter, now get going!"

He nodded and, with one last long look that said more than he could ever put into words, Hiroshi turned and bolted through the trees with all the speed a ninja of his fine standing was capable of. Within seconds he had disappeared from sight and after a minute I could no longer sense his chakra signature. He was gone.

I stood staring at the empty, encroaching forest feeling oddly empty inside. More empty than I'd felt when I found out about Kakuzu, that was for sure. I think a little piece of me died then, as I gazed after him in much the same way I'd done that last time back in the town; part of me couldn't quite grasp that this was the end. I'd finally completed my final task and instead of the satisfaction and comfort I'd expected, I felt like someone had reached inside and yanked a large chunk of my being from me. I was incomplete. More so than I'd been yesterday. And truth be told, I didn't know what to do with myself now.

"Hey, there you are, un. C'mon, dinner's ready." Deidara's casual voice cut through my confusion. I glanced at him with what I knew must be blank, unyielding eyes but somehow I found myself unable to rearrange the expression. Not that it mattered; Deidara wasn't clever enough to deduce what had just transpired so I wasn't worried about him seeing. If it had been Itachi or Kakuzu then yes, I'd have cause for concern, but Deidara would take it at face value and think I was moping over the grisly promise tomorrow held.

We walked back to the house in silence, my stomach flipping nervously with thoughts of Hiroshi and Naoku and death and tomorrow. I felt horribly nauseous and twice we had to actually stop so I could throw up in the shrubbery. Deidara observed this with quiet stoicism, and I was grateful for it. No point getting into a conversation that didn't stand a chance of making it better.

Just before we reached the house, as we entered the rim of the forest, which was thin enough for me to discern the walls of the cute yet toxic holiday home, I stopped. Deidara did the same and faced me expectantly – there was no pretence of ignorance. He knew I'd stopped for a reason; he knew I wanted to say something. And aside from a hint of curiosity, his entire posture screamed that he was nothing but prepared for whatever I was about to share.

"Deidara, before we go in I have something to say." I said expressionlessly, stating the obvious for the sake of formality.

"Go on, un." he replied guardedly, no doubt expecting me to ask him to help me escape. I almost laughed – if only it were that easy! I would never ask such a thing of him, even if I thought for one second that he'ddo it. Hiroshi wasn't the _only _one I had to protect. Which was the reason I'd stopped him in the first place.

"You remember that time I was in hospital? When I made you promise to kill me yourself and make it quick?" I jogged his memory, though I doubted he'd have forgotten it anyway. He nodded and opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "Well I've changed my mind. _Don't _kill me – let Pein do it. Okay?"

He looked like I'd just slapped him. His eyes widened in total shock and his mouth dropped open slightly in a humorous little 'o'. For a few seconds he floundered, struggling to find words to voice his absolute astonishment, but this was Deidara and Deidara never stayed gob-smacked for very long.

"W-what, un? _Why_?!"

I could understand his reaction; I'd do the same in his position. He just couldn't understand why on _earth _I'd want Pein to kill me when it would probably involve a whole load of agony before the actual dying even got close. I mean the guy had a _personal_ grudge against me after the way I'd spoken to him that time we met; I didn't know what he'd do to me but I knew it wouldn't be pretty. Deidara knew that too so he didn't get why I'd _willingly _put myself through that.

Of course, I couldn't tell him the _truth._ I was obligated to be honest with Hiroshi but Deidara was a different matter all together. With Deidara I'd already vowed to lie, for the greater good. And luckily I'd already constructed my answer to him well before we'd stopped.

"Because," I shrugged. "I've come to think of you as a friend and I can't think of a worse way to go than to be killed by your friend. Can you?"

"I suppose so, un." he mumbled, frowning, sounding unconvinced by my explanation. "But if I were you, I'd rather die in relative comfort at the hands of a friend than hellish torture at the hands of a lunatic. Are you sure you want to go through with this, un?"

"Yeah." I confirmed, meeting his gaze steadily. "This is what I want. Dead is dead after all, right?"

"I guess..."

With that we returned to the house via the kitchen door. Dinner was already under way but I didn't want any – I'd spewed up the entire contents of my stomach and I had a feeling adding more would just be asking for trouble. Instead I went upstairs to the bathroom, where I dry retched for a while before eventually calming myself enough to have a quick shower and get ready for bed.

Sleep was slow coming that night and the little I managed to catch was riddled with tormenting nightmares, featuring me alone in a big dark room with an overbearing silhouetted figure I knew to be Pein. His frightening ringed irises glared at me from all around and he came at me from everywhere, cutting at me with sharp, cold knives, burning me with numerous deadly fire Jutsu until my skin started to bubble and crushing my bones with taijutsu attacks that were too fast to avoid and too strong to block.

But even in the merciless grasp of the illusions in my mind, I _knew. _It was terrifying and nauseating but it could not be denied. What I suffered in the land of dreams was barely a _tenth_ of the torture awaiting me the next day.

/\

I was woken early the next morning by Deidara's insistent shaking. Dawn had barely broken on the horizon and not even the birds had started their day, but Deidara and Tobi were both there, wide awake and fully dressed as I eagerly roused myself from the throes of dreams best forgotten. Afterwards, the time seemed to pass quickly, something for which I was both thankful and resentful. It meant I didn't have to wait around feeling sick to my stomach, but at the same time it felt like the world was keen to get rid of me.

I was dressed and ready to leave in minutes, the only belongings left to my name being the ones I clothed myself with. In the bathroom I washed with the same diligence my morning routine had demanded every day for the last ten years – although why I bothered at all today was a mystery, being that I was gonna be walking to my death soon. _At least you'll be clean_, I thought to myself ironically. _Well... until Pein starts his work that is. _A shudder crawled up my spine at the macabre comment and I quickly diverted my attention – only half successfully – to the interesting shade of soft pink peeking through the distorted lavatory window.

With my cleansing ritual complete, feeling fresh and primed to face an _ordinary_ day – no amount of cleaning would help me with the not-so-ordinary day I was about to endure – I joined Deidara and Tobi in the kitchen... and every other Akatsuki member in the house for that matter.

Itachi and Kisame were sat along one side of the breakfast table holding mugs of what smelt deliciously like black coffee. The shark nin had the newspaper from yesterday balanced upright on the table with one hand and – to my revulsion – open at the same page he'd been on then, increasing the chances that it was no _story_ keeping him amused. Itachi on the other hand was leaning back on his chair with his eyes shut, the picture of ease. The scary thing was that despite looking relaxed enough to be _asleep_, I knew he was 100% aware of _everything _going on in the room. He'd probably monitored my every step from the second I got out of bed and I'd bet he knew the positions of everyone in the room without having seen them enter.

On the opposite side of the table sat the Good Father and Lord Bastard, both perfectly happy to wallow in their own never-ending indignation with the world. Tsukai leant on the sink unit near the kitchen window, looking over her shoulder into the garden with an unreadable expression that I was nonetheless able to decipher. Her entire body was angled away from everyone in the room, stiff and formal in it's posture, which told me she was furious with the Akatsuki members for some reason. I felt a rush of gratitude as I guessed what must have happened – she'd been arguing with them to spare me. Obviously they'd turned her down and that's why she was mad at them.

Looking around, bleary eyed from lack of sleep and nervous with terror, I asked what they were all doing up so early. I mean they were always up before I was but something told me this was early even for them.

"Leader's called them all in for a meeting before they split up again. It's rare that everyone's all together like this – usually they communicate using a special Jutsu that sends holograms – so he's taking the opportunity to provide them with new missions and target lists." Tsukai informed me in a voice that sounded strained and angry. I didn't miss how she said 'them' and 'they' as opposed to 'us' and 'we'.

"Great," I mumbled sourly, wiping my eyes of their sleepy haze as best I could. "Just what I wanted. An audience for my execution."

I tried to ignore the way Tsukai's eyes tightened in a look of pain at my careless words. Tried and _failed_.

We left a mere half hour later after a very short breakfast during which I ate nothing. Eating wasn't a particularly appealing thought and I doubted I could keep it down anyway. After twenty-minutes of walking, we split into three groups and travelled separately, me with Tobi and Deidara taking a north-westerly direction; Tsukai, Hidan and Kakuzu continuing west; and Kisame and Itachi heading south-west.

And so it was that the countdown to my brutal death had begun.

**I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Heavy on the doom and gloom, obviously, but I dunno... Tell me what you think. As always I welcome my readers' opinions, because they're the opinions that matter after all. Also, I apologise for Hidan's worse-than-usual cussing and vulgarity but it was necessary. Gotta keep him in character, you know.**


	22. And So It Ends

"This is it?" I muttered, staring at the huge wall of rock I'd just been assured was the _real _Akatsuki base of operations. "This is the fabulous hideout the entire shinobi world would give their right arms to infiltrate? Looks like a dump to me."

That wasn't a hundred percent true – admittedly it wasn't the most awe-inspiring sight I'd ever seen but that was only because I'd expected something a little more... _sinister_. What I saw before me, much like the little house in the wilderness, wasn't exactly the ideal advert for a criminal organisation; there was nothing about the scenery to suggest illegal or malicious activities were taking place nearby. In fact if anything it was a naturalist's paradise, with it's soaring cliff faces and overhanging plant life. A wide, gentle river cut between the two halves of the ravine like a glittering ribbon woven of pure light and for the first time in my life I thought, _maybe_, dying wouldn't be so bad if I could become a part of this beauty before me.

However, in the some six and a half hours it'd taken us to get here, I'd developed a foul temper thanks mostly, I knew, to sleep deprivation and a hunger I was too afraid of spewing to satiate. Of course, the death sentence hovering over my head was no help either. In short, I wasn't about to tell anyone how gorgeous I really thought the place was because I was feeling grouchy and immature.

I guess you could say the journey was a peaceful one – there were no rogue ninja attacks at least. We'd travelled mostly by foot, following a well-worn path I'd recognised some way into trek as part of the main route between the Leaf and Sand villages. At one point however, we'd had to hop aboard one of Deidara's clay birds to cross a stretch of bandit country, reputed to be the nastiest site of un-contracted ninja-oriented assassination and thievery in the world.

I know, right. _I'd _like to see the bandit brave enough to challenge someone from the Akatsuki too. Especially Deidara, who was short tempered enough with his _partner_ let alone any wannabe ninja-reject. But apparently, and I quote: 'Those thugs wouldn't even make a decent warm-up, un.'. I didn't point out that that was hardly the issue here because hey! What did I know?

In any case, the only event of note to happen throughout the voyage was an extremely violent (was there anything involving the Akatsuki that wasn't, I wondered) argument between Deidara and Tobi – and me a little, though I guess I was mostly just the humiliated third wheel as opposed to an actual participant. The two, in spite of being comrades, were always fighting so I suppose I should've expected it – Tobi really was quite dimwitted when it came matters of diplomacy. That is to say he didn't know when to keep his big mouth shut. Not so unlike me, huh?

It happened just after we'd set off again following a brief, highly unnecessary break in our travels, a break I knew had been instigated for my sake more than anything else even though I'd insisted we kept moving. Deidara maintained that the pause had nothing to do with me in the slightest; he merely wanted to scout the surrounding area for trackers, even though we both knew there _were_ none. Officially – as far as _he _knew anyway – none of the villages were savvy to their movements at any one time. And this path had probably been travelled by Akatsuki enough times to dissuade any rogue hunters from jumping on us. So really, there was little chance of us having a tail. As always, my objections fell on deaf ears.

Getting back to the point, someone (_cough_, me, _cough_) had been stupid enough (vindictive enough. _Grin_.) to give Tobi one of the fizzy drinks we'd picked up at a small roadside inn earlier, and as a result he'd gone from normal hyperactive Tobi to ohmyGod-kill-me-now hyperactive Tobi. I could go off on a whole spiel about how absolutely dreadful he was, how I wanted to slit my wrists just to get a bit of peace and how it should be considered a valid method of torture to have to listen to him, but that would be outrageously dishonest of me.

The truth was, I actually quite enjoyed it. We'd more or less travelled in silence before I pulled my little stunt, and Tobi was unintentionally hilarious when he'd had a supply of simple sugars and E numbers. Since I hadn't laughed in days, I'd decided it was time to loosen up and let myself be swept away by the kid's lovable antics. Maybe it was the lack of food talking or maybe I was going crazy so close to the end, but five seconds into the man-child's frenzy and I was giggling like a fool.

"_Senpai, Senpai, Senpaaaaaaiii!" _Tobi'd babbled excitedly all of a sudden, hardly leaving space between his words as he abruptly moved on from explaining his take on the dynamics of a caterpillar's fuzzy little body – something about it being the fashion superstar of the bug world...

Deidara cast a pained glance at his team mate and I swore he looked suicidal – _I_ enjoyed Tobi's playfulness very much, but Deidara was a different matter altogether. I wasn't sure how much more of this he could take before his brain imploded; my money was on under ten minutes.

"_For the love of God, what is it, un?" _he groaned, sounding almost afraid to ask. I didn't blame him; when Tobi wanted his undivided attention, it was _never_ something he wanted to hear. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who's mind wandered back to the fateful 'underwear' discussion of yore, a day neither Deidara or I were going to forget in a hurry since it was one of the first in a series of embarrassing circumstances we'd found ourselves in together.

"_Senpai, where do babies come from?"_

There was a moment of stunned silence. Deidara and I stopped walking simultaneously to stare at the masked nin in utter disbelief, mouths agape in similar expressions of scandalized incredulity. On my part, I was desperately trying to suppress a bubble of hysterical laughter pushing it's way up from the bottom my stomach – I knew Tobi was a little infantile for his age (which would be what? I realised I'd never actually asked what his age was before) but this was just priceless. Surely he was just pressing Deidara's buttons? Working his ticket to see how far he'd get before the explosives came out?

Deidara on the other hand looked horrified; completely traumatized. I thought perhaps this was the single worst question the cute criminal could've dared ask him and it would seem Deidara thought so too. Poor guy; what would he be like when (_if_) he had kids of his own, hm? They'd probably act just like Tobi and he and his...

I quickly turned my mind away from _that_ train of thought. The idea that Deidara would go on when I was gone and have kids and stuff was just too disconcerting to consider a possibility. And I suppose there's no harm admitting it upset me to think about the fact that those things _wouldn't _happen with me...

…

_What_? I was a woman on her deathbed. I think I deserved a little harmless self-indulgence.

"_You've got to be kidding me. _Please_ tell me you're not serious, un!" _Deidara cried, an expression on his face I imagined he'd been reserving for a situation of catastrophic disaster. Something along the lines of Tsukai informing him she was pregnant with Brother Snowball's bastard child, for example – entirely a possibility given that _that's _how I suspected she'd pried the information on my grandfather from him. I hadn't asked outright yet but when I brought it up earlier, trying to eradicate the familiar sense of tedium hiking always managed to cause, Deidara'd quickly changed the subject with an air of discomfort.

"_Nope, Tobi's serious!" _Tobi had replied jovially, hopping around on one foot like an idiot. _"Senpai, _you_ must know, right?" _No one missed the emphasis on 'you'.

I slowly started to shake with the effort of holding back the overwhelming sniggers, a couple managing to crack through my mask of careful indifference and making me sound like I was quietly choking to death. The irony of the situation was too much; Deidara, the biggest player I'd ever met, was being confronted by every flirt's worst nightmare. The very real threat of child conception.

Throwing me a warning glare – which quite clearly said 'this _isn't _funny' – Deidara floundered for something appropriate to say. And I – good, charitable person that I am - decided to spare him (in a sense) for a while, asking Tobi a question of my own while Deidara struggled to find his tongue.

...Who am I kidding? I wanted to add more fuel to the proverbial fire!

"_What makes you think he would know, Tobi?" _I inquired politely, face arranged in a well-cultivated expression of utmost innocence. Underneath I was writhing with cruel enjoyment, which made me think seriously about all the morals and humanity I claimed to possess – how could I possibly be one of the good guys when I was so obviously a sadist?

"_Well, I know you need a man and a lady to have a baby and before Senpai met Mizuko, he was always with ladies. I thought maybe he-," _His next words were cut off, drowned out by an indignant yet amazingly still hyperactive yelp of complaint.

Deidara, who'd just walloped Tobi round the head with either his fist or his foot (I had a hard time deciding which since I'd missed the action scene), was a peculiar ghostly peach colour. It was as if his skin didn't know whether to pale from a sudden – and altogether new by the looks of it – realisation that he _could _have kids floating about out there somewhere (which, yes, disturbed me some), or redden from embarrassment.

"_You idiot, un! I wasn't...! I don't...! Just because Mizuko...-," _Deidara stammered, trying to both admit and deny Tobi's subtle accusation at the same time – an accusation I'm sure the guy didn't know he was making but that didn't seem to matter to Deidara. He seemed to be torn between wanting to deny his man-whorish (excuse my candour) tendencies and wanting to put everyone straight on the fact that they hadn't stopped just because of me. The results were quite amusing.

"_So you _don't _know where babies come from, Senpai?" _Tobi asked, disappointment in his tone.

"_No! I mean yes! I mean.... never mind what I mean! Go ask your mom, un." _

We continued our travels in relative silence for a few seconds and I think we both, on some subconscious, unacknowledged level, knew what was coming. It was exactly like the underwear fiasco and this kind of silence had only one apt description. The calm before the storm.

"_Hm. Does that mean you and Mizuko haven't tried to make one?" _Tobi questioned with just the right amount of tactless curiosity.

Told you. The calm before the storm.

"_WHAT?!" _Deidara and I roared in unison, both turning beet red for what I was sure were _very_ different reasons. Or perhaps not so different. There's only so many ways you can feel about a statement like that.

Deidara was furious with his happy-go-lucky partner; more angry than I'd ever seen him. The peachy colour had left his cheeks and became a full on brick red of rage. Even as I watched, he reached into the ever-present pouch of explosive clay on his belt with one hand, and I knew what was coming. But try as I might I couldn't muster the will to stop him. I had never been so humiliated in all my life and some part of me would enjoy seeing Tobi bombed again.

"_W-w-wait Senpai! I was kidding!!!" _Tobi yelled, but he knew without being told that Deidara would do no such thing. The explosives expert had decided to blow him up and blow him up he would; Tobi _knew_ that. Before he'd even finished speaking, he was sprinting clumsily in the opposite direction, arms working furiously as he tried to put as much distance between himself and his livid senpai as possible.

The rest, as they say, is history. Tobi got blown up and came limping back into our midst half an hour later, his mask askew (but frustratingly enough, not in a way that revealed _any_ of his face) and his cloak singed, stinking to the high heavens of burnt hair. He refrained from talking to either of us for a long while and there was a shared emotion between Deidara and I at his silence. _Good decision. _

Of course this was Tobi, so his silence didn't last longer than an hour, _if _that.

And now here we were. A full morning of travelling and we'd finally arrived at the End of the Road, so to speak.

"Quit complaining, un. I don't remember _you _being an expert on hideouts." Deidara grumbled, answering my dismissive interpretation of their Headquarters with a sour grunt.

He was in a bad mood. Had been, truth be told, since the Tobi incident. Man, the guy could hold a grudge. I mean I'd been just as upset by Tobi's stupidity as he was but _I'd_ let it go. I wondered if it was the idea of us... you know... that bothered him. If it was – apart from wounding me for reasons I tried fully to ignore – he needn't bother; it didn't look like we'd get a chance to do _that_ any time soon.

"Oh, shut up. Jerk." I muttered, striding past him and jumping off the precipice with lithe, ninja-worthy grace. I landed neatly on the calm surface of the river, automatically directing my chakra appropriately to stay balanced on top instead of sinking like a stone. Standing, I took off aimlessly, walking anywhere as long as it was away from that discriminating ass hole.

He _really _got on my nerves sometimes. I mean just what was wrong with me, huh? My ass not pert enough for him? Curves not sexy enough? Or maybe my breasts were too small... I'd bet that was it! That jackass! Didn't he know some women had naturally small breasts?! And besides, mine weren't even _that_ small. It was my baggy yakuta that did it really, covering them up and all. I was just as-

"Uh... Mizuko, un?"

"_What_?" I snapped with clearly palpable irritation, glancing over my shoulder at Deidara and Tobi, who'd both followed me down the cliff. They were looking at me as if I were... I don't know what. That look wasn't quite something I'd seen anywhere before. But at a guess I'd say they thought I'd lost my marbles.

"What... What are you doing to yourself, un?" Deidara mumbled, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement on his normally cocky face.

Well that was odd. I could count on the one hand the number of times I'd seen Deidara openly embarrassed – it just wasn't an emotion he did. Even the very worst things Tobi had said hadn't made him anything but wrathful. And although – _thankfully_ – we hadn't had to find out, I doubted he'd have been ashamed even if one of the other members caught us in the middle of one of our numerous smooching exercises. I, on the other hand, most certainly _would've _been.

"What?" I repeated, more confused than annoyed this time. He didn't reply – at least not with words – and instead nodded at me, looking away awkwardly afterwards as if he'd caught me naked or something. Which struck me as peculiar of him, seeing as he pretty much had once before.

I looked down and was horrified when I saw myself doing what Deidara and Tobi must obviously have guessed I was doing. I'd stopped walking at some point during my angry inner tirade (which, I realised with dismay, had been about me not being attractive enough for Deidara...) and had shamelessly – in _broad daylight –_ started feeling my own chest up! As in my hands were inappropriately placed upon my person!

_Oh the humanity..._

It was one of those moments everyone experiences at one time or another, when they wish the earth would swallow them whole. My hands fell to my sides heavily and my face became the biological equivalent of a furnace. But of course the damage was done – I'd fondled myself and two members of Akatsuki had _seen_. That would be bad enough in itself, but one of them happened to be...

..._That is a _bad_ direction to wander in, Mizuko._

With no better option, I did what any one else would have done in my position. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest – the same chest I'd been 'examining' a second ago – and turned away from them both in an unmistakable huff. Let them make what they could of _that_; the moment certainly didn't need anymore of my utter brainlessness to fuel what were sure to be mocking enough reactions.

"C'mon. Let's go before she throws a hissy fit, un!" Deidara laughed to his partner, who – _wisely_ – had decided to keep his mouth shut. Well... at least he wasn't mad at Tobi anymore. But truthfully, I'd rather he still _was_ if it meant he'd unsee the positively criminal position he'd just found me in.

They approached the rock face unflinchingly, as one might approach the front of a shop or hotel, and while I primarily made to follow them like a good little hostage – some instinctive sense told me to watch my behaviour from here on out, because Pein was close and most definitely watching – I paused in confusion when I realised they weren't going to stop. Now, I'm not much of an expert in the matter – clearly – but it was my understanding that for there to be a base, there had to be some sort of door. And I can all but swear there was no such thing within a hundred feet of there.

Just as I was about to ask where the hell they were going, Deidara disappeared through the wall (yes, _through_ the wall) leaving behind not even a hint of a trace. I stared at the section he'd vanished through with my mouth blatantly agape, disbelief and an other emotion – this one more becoming of a chuunin – etched on my features. Beneath the shock, the part of my brain that had been in serious misuse over my months with Akatsuki whirred away silently, sifting through my mental index for possible explanations.

And to my delight I found one, excitement building in my gut as I belatedly recognised the chakra remnants of a genjutsu barrier. I can't really relay the reason for my sudden, irrational elation over something that was, literally, so ridiculously simple – I mean even Hiroshi, who was notoriously bad at barriers and stuff, could construct, destruct and any other 'struct' you care to mention, a set up this simple – but for the first time in a long while I felt the exhilaration I _used_ to feel for the ninja world.

I've said before that where shinobi skills are concerned, my speciality resides in the barrier/traps area. It was an obtuse category that few ever truly got to grips with – apparently someone as skilled as me was a rarity, especially in a village as small and comparatively insignificant as the Hidden Waterfall. It's true that my love of my chosen career had most certainly dimmed over the years – most notably after my grandfather's 'death' – but the same was not true of my fascination for barriers and traps. I was more or less useless in every other aspect of ninja life but I was practically the leading authority when it came to _those –_ not that I'm being modest or anything. I had a widespread reputation as the best in the business, a fact proven when I was employed by the Sand and Leaf, and I prided myself on knowing or being able to _learn _every jutsu related to just about any trap ever invented.

So when I realised what I was facing, despite the fact that it was quite probably one of the most _basic_ techniques I'd seen, I couldn't help but feel a little keyed up.

_It's a barrier! _I thought gleefully, rushing past Tobi to examine it closer. _An honest to God barrier! _

I had to remind myself in my enthusiasm that contrary to appearances, this wasn't just _any_ barrier. This was an Akatsuki barrier and I knew that what I was seeing couldn't possibly be the full extent of it – there had to be a trick. Sure it _seemed _simple enough but perhaps that was the catch. Maybe it was supposed to lull any invaders into a false sense of security and then BAM! Deep fried ninja kebab!

Predictably, that thought just got me even more riled up.

Hesitantly, I raised my hand and placed my palm against the illusion, watching happily as it passed straight through and became one with the scenery. I withdrew it and repeated the action, unbelievably satisfied with the basic motion, a look on my face that a child locked in a candy shop would likely wear. Again and again I allowed my had to pass through the wall, amusing myself with the simplicity of it and with the fact that if I dared, I could tear the flimsy thing apart with a flex of my pinky finger.

I _wouldn't,_ of course. Pein was gonna rip me a new one as it was; I didn't think it would be wise to antagonise him further. It would be fun – while it lasted – but it wouldn't be wise. Besides, he was gonna be pretty mad when he heard what I had to say to him anyway, and I think that would more than fill my defiance quota for the day.

It was as I pondered this self chosen doom, already seeing the Akatsuki leader's less than favourable response play itself before my eyes in awful technicolour, that my hand made contact with something soft and... not jagged, exactly, but _chiselled_. Bewildered I turned back to the wall and, naturally, saw nothing that seemed out of the ordinary; well, except for the fact that my hand seemed to have been eaten by the rock.

I moved my fingers over the 'thing', studying it's contours curiously, all the while wondering to myself what manner of jutsu it could possibly be; I'd never encountered such a perplexing technique before. How did it work? What were the mechanisms? And more importantly, could I _learn_ it? And then, as my mind went through the familiar processes it normally did when I found a new jutsu, the unthinkable happened.

Something strong and firm wrapped itself around my wrist and held me in place. I struggled against it automatically but my head knew it was too late for that, because whatever it was wasn't about to let go. It was a trap! Of _course _it was. I'd thought to myself not five minutes ago that I'd have to be careful; I'd warned myself that this barrier couldn't be all it seemed. And now I'd gone and activated it and it was probably gonna zap me and then I'd be dead before I got the chance to-

"Mizuko, un! Quit flapping about will you; you nearly poked me in the eye!" Deidara's petulant voice snapped. I felt the thing holding me pull, dragging me through the illusory wall into...

… well nothing really. When I stepped through the curtain of genjutsu there was no sudden change in brightness like I'd subconsciously been expecting – the light didn't falter in the slightest. The scene itself wasn't what I'd been expecting either because I'd been working under the assumption that Akatsuki's base was... well, a _base_.

What I actually saw was that the faux wall covered what appeared to be a great, big hole in what was probably once a very solid cliff. The ground – the term being used subjectively – was covered with large chunks of broken-up mineral debris and the sky overhead was in just as plain view as it had been outside. For all intents and purposes we _were_ outside!

The area (which was a pit of sorts I suppose) was roughly circular in shape and I wondered what had been there before – no natural formation could crumble in such a perfectly definable shape like that. More importantly I wondered what (or _who_) had done such incredible damage.

But these things, interesting as they were, quickly became of little consequence. Quite apart from now being able to see the crater that literally ate into the cliff side, I found myself face to face with what I assumed was nearly the full complement of Akatsuki members. And I blanched.

Pein was there. Until that moment I hadn't realised just how much I'd been praying he wouldn't be. And by his side, standing with a quiet, reserved grace that still managed to terrify the crap outta me, was a member I hadn't seen before.

A _woman_, dispassionate-looking and as intimidating as the man beside whom she held herself so proudly, with short, deep blue hair oddly reminiscent of Naoku's natural colour. On one side her hair was pinned up with what looked suspiciously like an origami flower, light blue in colour and complementing her overall beauty spectacularly, and her eyes were a hard, unrelenting amber that – I realised with surprise – were just a shade or two darker than mine. Under her lip I caught the unmistakable glint of metal and guessed, though at this distance couldn't confirm, she had a piercing.

That bothered me more than anything else about her. More than the fact that she stood so close to Pein, almost protectively, like she was his personal bodyguard or something (as if he needed one!); more than the heavy black cloak she wore so uncaringly; more even than the aura of methodical indifference surrounding her. The piercing tied her to Pein and Akatsuki in a more tangible way than any of these other things, and it felt plain _wrong_ for a woman so startlingly beautiful to be a part of something so unbelievably dark.

To my surprise and unexpected delight, Kisame and Itachi were also there. I had no idea how they'd managed to beat us when, theoretically, the route they took should have taken longer; whereas we'd taken the direct path, _they'd_ travelled in the complete opposite direction. Yet here they were. And if that were the case, it raised questions as to where Hidan, Tsukai and _it_ were – they should definitely have made it here before the other two.

As I mused over this odd turn of events a thought occurred to me; one that horrified me beyond anything I'd ever felt before. Not even the time Deidara had pinned me to the bed in that hotel could compare.

_They'd seen me! _I mean of course they'd _seen_ me but I meant they'd watched me make a total ass of myself with the genjutsu barrier. I'd been putting my hand through it like a retard just seconds ago and if _I _could see out from this side of the line – I turned around quickly to confirm this and was not pleased by the results – that meant they could too and they'd seen my every move from the second I hopped off the cliff...

_Oh _god_ no... Anything but that!_

It also meant they'd seen me _touch myself up!_ I felt like dying. I honestly would have happily slit my wrists with my own kunai if I'd happened to have any on me. It would have been bad enough my own _mother_ seeing me commit such an atrocity but _this_... this was unreal. The people who were about to orchestrate my death had seen me at my most utterly ridiculous. There was _no_ chance of dying with dignity now.

What if they'd figured it out? The reason I'd so inexplicably felt the need to grope myself, I mean. A quick look at Kisame told me it wasn't impossible – he had a grin on his shark-like face that said he'd certainly _seen _it and was _highly_ amused by it. Not a week ago he'd goaded Deidara and me about a similar subject; could he have put two and two together?

As though on cue the bulky Mist nin shot a knowing smirk in my direction, accompanied by the most condescending greeting I've _ever_ heard.

"Hello there princess! You're very _hands-on _today. What's with that, hm?"

And I knew instantly that if no one else did, Kisame at the very least knew _exactly_ what was going on. Then another horrible thought occurred, flowing into my head with the shark's 'hands-on' quip.

Deidara had a hold on my wrist... which meant _he'd_ been what I'd felt through the barrier. I'd been touching some part of him (his face I reckoned, recalling with a totally inappropriate twinge of excitement, the feel of the soft yet rugged curves) and everyone here had witnessed it. True, I hadn't known what I was doing, but I can only _imagine_ what it must have looked like to the others.

_This cannot be happening. We just got here and already my respectability has been reduced to ashes!_

Wrenching my arm from Deidara's grip, I glared icily at Kisame – a difficult thing to do successfully when your face is so red it makes blood look blue.

"I don't wanna hear that coming from _you, _Jaws." I snarled, not entirely sure what the retort was meant to achieve. I think I only said it because there was nothingelse I _could_ say.

"Oh? And why not? 'S not like _I_ go around touching everything from my chest to someone else's _face_." he snickered.

"I said _can it_ shark boy!" I roared.

"Silence."

He hadn't yelled it. He hadn't raised his voice at all. He hadn't even said it with _emotion_, anger or otherwise. But regardless, I flinched as though he'd slapped me right in the kisser.

Pein wasn't the kind of man who needed intimidation tactics to get what he wanted. He was like Itachi that way. People just naturally obeyed him because to do otherwise was suicide. He got what he wanted because people were too afraid to deny him, and I was no different. The very instant the command left his lips, I found myself doing exactly as he said, whether I wanted to or not. I didn't speak out of turn again. _Couldn't. _Under his gaze I was little more than a butterfly, pinioned by the needles that were his frightening ringed eyes.

"Sorry Sir," Kisame chortled, obviously less affected by the man's presence than I was. It took some nerve to even _talk_ to Pein... how I'd ever managed to cheek him was beyond me. And the terrifying thing was I was mere minutes from doing basically the same thing _again_.

Unconsciously, I reached for Deidara's arm and held tight, more to stop the petrified shaking than anything else. He didn't react and I didn't know whether to take that as a good or bad thing; either way, I sure as hell wasn't letting go.

Deidara led me towards the centre of the cavity where the other members stood stiffly, looking oddly out of place in the sunshine. Apart from Kisame, and of course Deidara and Tobi, I hadn't seen the others outside in daylight. It didn't suit them. It wasn't their domain and it felt like a perversion for them to walk in it so freely.

We stopped just short of their reach, something I found myself noting with relief even though I knew it was an insignificant detail – if (when) any of them wanted to do me harm, it would take a lot more than three feet of thin air to deter them.

Despite the fact that I knew what was coming – _knew_ that the time had come – I couldn't stop trembling with unadulterated terror. I felt sick. Physically ill with the knowledge that I was standing at the feet of my worst nightmare. I couldn't bring myself to meet his heavy gaze, which I could feel boring holes in my skull; I couldn't even _begin_ to consider it an option. And the worst part was knowing sooner or later I'd _have_ to.

"Mizuko Shinoske. I've long awaited the day we would meet again." Pein addressed me calmly, softly. It was worse than having him speak down at me coldly as he had the first time. When he spoke as he did now he seemed almost eccentrically human and that was unacceptable – he was a monster, and it didn't do for me to think of him as anything but. "You know why you're here?"

I gulped. I knew alright. And it wasn't for the reasons _he_ thought I was here either. I forced myself to answer, the word coming out barely coherent through my dry lips.

"N-n-no." I whispered, teeth chattering uncontrollably. _Get a grip, Mizuko. You have to do this._

"Then allow me to enlighten you." he offered, no hint of anything other than sheer composure in his tone. "This is Akatsuki's main base, the reason being it houses the statue which allows us to successfully seal the bijuu. A while back we regrettably lost one of our comrades in this very location, leading to it's current state of disrepair, and although we have replaced him within the organisation, he left behind a few other problems that are less easily taken care of. Sasori was the authority on security within our midst; his traps and barriers were exceptional even by our standards. So exceptional that we've been unable to disarm the seals he placed on and around the statue and therefore are unable to move it to a more suitable location. That's where you come in."

So I'd been right. They wanted me because of my skill with traps and such. They wanted me to disarm these constructs that that their deceased trapper put up so they could move their hideout and start again. They wanted me to effectively help them _escape._ Which was where _my_ plan came into action – there was no way, not in a million years, I was gonna help them destroy more lives than they already had.

"No." I murmured hoarsely, praying to a God I wasn't sure I believed in for the strength I'd need to get me through this.

There were a number of gasps – primarily from Deidara and Kisame, but I'm sure I heard the woman draw a sharp breath too – and I knew I'd crossed the line of no return. This was it. End of the road, last stop. Nothing could save me now.

"Pardon?"

Still no raised voice. Still no recognizable anger. Just that calm neutrality that scared me so much. I was sure he'd maintain that face even when he started torturing me for my compliance. And I could all but guarantee that by the time night fell, I'd wish I was never born.

"I-," I cleared my throat, trying to rid it of the irritating gruffness and sound somewhat like I knew what I was doing. But the honest truth was I wasn't entirely sure, which wasn't the best state of mind to face Pein in. "I said no. I'm not going to help you no matter... no matter what you do to me."

Nothing. No fury. No threats. No anything.

Then, abruptly, he moved, and I flinched away, unable to control myself.

But instead of attacking me like I expected – like _everyone_ expected – the Akatsuki leader put his hand under my chin and gently raised my head. It was a gesture so unexpectedly tender that for a moment I forgot everything; what I was doing, who I was... My mind went completely blank as I was forced to meet Pein's steely grey eyes. And as soon as I met them I couldn't look away.

The last time I'd seen his face this close he'd been beating me up and I hadn't registered his looks properly in my blinding hatred. But now, with nothing but fright clouding my sight, I saw that he was actually quite handsome in unique way. True, the piercings added a menace that could make babies cry, but they also had a kind of dark allure. And his eyes... the rings of his irises were as unorthodox as I remembered. But they didn't hold what I'd taken to be cold cruelty the last time we spoke; they held a nothingness that swallowed my soul. If I'd been right about anything, it was this: he could do things – hideous things – and not even bat an eyelid.

Silently, he studied me as one would study a spider that's been trodden on and yet still continues to move – with mild disbelief. He wasn't used to being refused. Not at all. It was a new occurrence – a _challenge_.

"I'd have thought, after our last meeting, you'd have learned to employ some wit when addressing me. It seems your recklessness is not so easily swayed." he stated. "But I wonder how long you can stay so impudent when I have you broken from the inside out. How long do you think you can last under the influence of Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan?"

I tried to rein in my emotions, but even as I bit my tongue to suppress the squeak of panic I could feel my eyes widen and flood with pure dread. Pein would read them as easily as any involuntary noise I made. And he _did_. He knew he'd hit the mark – the one torture I feared above all others – the second the words left his mouth. And _I_ knew I was done for.

"Itachi." Pein ordered, releasing me and stepping back, leaving me rooted to the spot as wave after wave of sickening distress punched me hard in the gut. I couldn't have moved even if I'd had anywhere to move _to._

Itachi stepped forward obediently and took Pein's place in front of me. I looked up, pleading with my gaze without any real hope of him hearing for him to _please _not do this. His eyes were still dark, the Sharingan inactive for the time being.

But even as I watched they turned crimson, adopting that distinctive black tomoe pattern...

...And then the world shifted, becoming everything I'd ever feared in an instant so overwhelming I lost my breath and failed to find it again.

/\

_Fire..._

_Hot and red and _everywhere_. _

_I can't escape it. I can't defeat it. It's everything. It's everything and before it I am nothing._

_I'm in my village, watching it burn to the ground time and time and time again, hearing the villagers' pained cries for help and mercy, and completely unable to do a thing about it. The world is black and deadly. The sky is red and worse. And the fire... the fire is hell_ _itself._

_Suddenly I'm at my house. My _home_. I can hear my mother scream inside and rush forwards without thinking, wanting to help her; _needing_ to help her. _

_But as I cross the familiar threshold I trip over something solid and heavy. Crashing to the floor, I turn my head to see what it is... and gasp. There on my own floor lies Lord Shibuki. Dead. There's a gaping hole in his back and what I see inside is too terrible for words... And although his body is black the blood pouring from it is as red as the sky outside._

_I force myself up and continue through the house, searching for my mother before it's too late. Before she too ends up as dead as Lord Shibuki._

_But I've barely reached the end of the hall when I see something else that turns my stomach. Naoku. He's been gutted and his body is pinned to the wall with weapons I've never before laid eyes upon – it's too awful. I hunch over and throw up on the floor, the disgusting taste intensifying the horror I feel._

_Another scream draws me on._

_I encounter a third body in the kitchen. This one decapitated, the head missing but the body itself in a heap on the table. I know without seeing the face, who it is. _Hiroshi_. _

_And now it's my turn to scream. I can't stop. I can't. Tears fall down my cheeks in great rivers and drip to the floor, red as blood and twice as ghastly. _

_I hear a commotion behind me and, weak and terrified, fumble across the hall into the guest room. My mother is there. Alive but looking as terror-stricken as I feel. She's staring at something and I follow her gaze..._

_And then without warning she's dead, her limbs torn from her as easily as tearing paper, by long, black tentacles that writhe in my line of sight like snakes. My head whips round to find their source and I don't like what I see._

_It's my grandfather. He's standing there, no emotion in his eyes, face covered._

_...No. He's not my grandfather. This man is _Kakuzu_._

_The tentacles come for me next. And I register nothing else as this hellish world dissolves in agony._

/\

And then, like my head breaking the surface of an icy lake, I was back in the Akatsuki base. I don't know how I got there but I was on my knees and my hands were over my ears, pressing hard as though trying to block out everything but my own thoughts. There were tears, hot and salty, on my face. My limbs felt tired and heavy and _weak_. And I knew, as I stared wordlessly at the feet of none other than Itachi, that I'd gotten only a brief glimpse of the abyss into which I would have to plunge. I _had_ to. If for no other reason than to prevent exactly what I'd just seen coming to pass.

"Are you ready to reconsider?" Pein asked mellifluously. I tried to answer but was shaking too hard to get anything of intellect out. So I settled for shaking my head fitfully. "Pity." he said coolly and I sensed rather than saw him nod to Itachi.

It was as I braced myself for my second trip into utter oblivion that something neither I nor the Akatsuki were expecting took place. The _real_ world dissolved in a plume of smoke.

As the fog billowed around me, thick and purple and deadly, something clamped down on my wrist. _Hard. _I gasped, mostly from shock rather than pain, but didn't resist when whatever it was started pulling me away (or were we headed _toward_ something? It was hard to tell when my entire sensory system had been engulfed by acrid smoke). I tripped and stumbled several times, and as much as I'd like to say that the reason for such was the very uneven ground, I knew it was probably more to do with the fact that the angry, surprised voices of Akatsuki had erupted around me and my abductor in a terrifying orchestra of '_Hey!_''s and '_What the fuck?''_s and one very prominent _'Don't let the girl escape!'_.

No sooner had the latter escaped the Leader's mouth (it _had_ to be him, judging by the crippling authority with which he'd said it) than what I estimated to be no less than four kunai whizzed past, one cutting so close to my ear that I swear I heard it _ring_ through the air.

My saviour – kidnapper? – tugged at my hand more insistently. _C'mon_, that yank said clearly. _Hurry up! Move faster! _

Obediently I picked up the pace, keeping up with whoever it was easily as we stumbled through the smokescreen what felt like _aimlessly_. My heart thudded painfully in my chest but it wasn't from the unexpected exercise I was getting – it was from terror and the strain of trying not to _hope_. _Don't let yourself do it, Mizuko. Don't let yourself hope just to have it ripped away again._

But it was hard. I'd been so close to a fate worse than death a second ago. _So _close. Now that there was a possibility of escape, it was almost impossible to not pray for it. I wanted to live. I wanted to go home and live in peace; I'd quit being a ninja and become a baker, just like my mother wanted, and I'd never use my skills again; I'd settle down and have children and be happy... _anything._ I just wanted this nightmare to end.

The second we stepped into daylight again I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the painful glare of the mid-afternoon sun. It was hot out. Hot and sticky; my least favourite weather. The river glittered beneath my feet as my hero and I skipped over it's surface, barely a ripple left in our wake. Above us, bearing down like great green faces of judgement, stood the beeches that fringed the forest on either side of the ravine and never had anything looked so good to me – if Akatsuki caught up and I died anyway, at least I'd die in the open arms of mother nature, where I could see the sky and feel the earth. I turned my head forwards, intending to thank whoever had been brave enough – _stupid_ enough – to help me, and gasped in absolute shock.

"Hiroshi!" I wailed, annoyance and a whole new kind of fear burying themselves in my already overloaded heart. And it was so much more intense thanks to what I'd seen when I was trapped in Itachi's technique. "I thought I told you to go home! Now we're both gonna die!" Why did the boy never listen to me?! It didn't matter what I said, he was always doing the exact opposite!

"Don't be so damn pessimistic." he huffed, leading us up the adjacent cliff face towards the woods above – back the way Deidara, Tobi and I had come eternities ago. "We'll worry about that later, _if _they catch up to us. Right now just shut up and run."

I continued running – I didn't need to be asked twice! – but indulged myself in scolding him, angry at his foolishness but too desperate for this second chance I'd been given to do what I _should. _Which was go back and hold them off while Hiroshi got away.

"You stupid, bone-headed idiot! D'you honestly think that smoke bomb will hold them off for long?" I yelled, my words snatched away as we accelerated up the vertical drop and into the safe-feeling embrace of the trees, flying through the foliage with everything we were capable of. Either he didn't hear me or he didn't care (the more likely option) because he didn't dignify me with a response.

_He'll hear about this later, _I vowed, glaring at his back as we shot through the forest, feet barely landing on one branch before we were making the leap to the next.

If there _was_ a later, that is. Already I could hear the beginnings of pursuit as the momentarily confused Akatsuki members gathered their wits about them. We were in trouble. _Deep_ trouble. If trouble were water we'd be drowning already. All that was left was to see whether fate would throw us a lifeline or not.

Hiroshi signalled me to make a sharp turn right and I obeyed without hesitation, figuring I'd followed him this far so I might as well see it through. Our direction change now had us running along side the river and I hoped the diversionary tactic would work even though I already knew it wouldn't. This was Akatsuki, not some amateur genin squad. At the very least, the tree canopy had thickened somewhat, oaks and maples outgrowing the beeches with their sunlight-snatching reach. Below us I could see that the forest floor was less clustered with brush and shrubbery, the lack of light making it impossible for all but the most resilient mosses and fungi to grow. Maybe the darkness would save us... maybe they wouldn't be able to find us in here...

Almost as soon as the thought occurred it was eradicated by way of a kunai burying itself in my bicep. There had been no warning. No preamble. I read the message loud and clear; if I didn't stop, as in _right away_, they were going to start aiming to kill. I didn't even _consider_ entertaining the hope that they'd simply missed – they had hit exactly what they aimed for.

Yanking it free, I cried out in pain, sparing just a second to make the awful mistake of looking behind me before speeding up that little bit more. My heart had plummeted to the regions in my body where my gut was supposed to be. _We are so dead..._

"Hiroshi, don't look now but we have company." I hissed, showing him the bloodied weapon angrily. He hadn't thought this through at all. "Now what genius?! We have two Akatsuki on our tail. _Two_! We'd have been in enough of a bind with just one!"

"Well what did you expect me to do, huh?! Wait around in the village for news of your death knowing I could have done something to stop it?!" he growled back. The effect was somewhat ruined when he glanced over his shoulder and caught sight of what _I'd_ seen – namely Deidara and Kisame, who'd obviously been first off the bat when the order to get us had been given – paling to the approximate hue of milk.

_Great. Not only must I die, I'm gonna be killed by one of the members I actually _like_. Does life get any more unfair?_

"It would have been preferable, yes!" I bellowed, recoiling as a shuriken whipped close to my cheek, leaving a shallow scratch that I knew I'd avoided by sheer luck. "Would it kill you to do what I tell you once in a while? Would it really hurt you _that_ much?!"

"You're really not helping the situation! If you don't have any ideas, shut up and let me think!"

I stared at him open-mouthed. Neither of my team mates had _ever_ dared to tell me to shut up. Not even once. They new better. Mizuko Shinoske may be the most pathetic ninja in existence but she had ways of making people pay. And I can tell you, most people don't like waking up and finding their bathroom sealed off by my strongest barrier.

"You did not just tell me to shut up, boy." I whispered menacingly. I know; not the time _or _the place but it was more a reflex than anything else. He didn't answer – I hadn't really expected him to. I was about to shout louder – give him a good piece of what for, Mizuko-style – but the only thing that came out, to my mystification, was a short, sharp grunt. _What the...? _I tired again but this time it was a strangled sounding gasp. _Just what's going on here? Why can't I... use my voice?_

Then came the pain.

It was a familiar pain, located between my shoulder blades just below my neck, and I knew instantly, even as I slid and my vision started to blur, what had happened – what was _still_ happening. In a way it was a relief. It was all over now and it hadn't been _nearly_ as dreadful as I'd anticipated. It was almost... calming. I felt like I'd truly been freed and my spirit soared with the jubilation of the thought.

But on the other side of the coin I felt a deep, suffocating horror. I was nearing the ground and it looked like Hiroshi hadn't even noticed. They'd be after him too, now. They'd chase him and kill him. And the time when I could have done something to stop it had long since passed.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to witness the moment when I'd smash into the ground. The second I did I knew I'd die. At this speed and from that height, unless I landed on my feet I was a goner – my brain would haemorrhage and the last thing I'd know in this world would be the instant loss of coherent thought before my body shut itself down. I was dead. Or as good as.

But at least I'd died free. My only complaint, had I the strength left to complain, would be the fact that I was dying because of a kunai to the back. Not the most honourable of ways to go by any means.

Hiroshi's death would not be so pleasant. They would torture him to find out what he knew about them and if it were anything like how _I'd_ suffered before he daringly came to my rescue, he would need all the courage he possessed.

**The End.**

… **Nah, I'm just messin' with ya! ROFL!**

**Anyway, back to business. I was considering dragging this chapter out a bit longer (I was gonna have Mizuko help them before the rescue came along but decided that was totally against the character profile I'd built for her) but alas, 'twas not to be. We are now entering the last leg of the story and I predict that it will take two, perhaps three more chapters before it's done. Unfortunately, what with Uni and everything, I don't know how long it'll take to write them.**

**That said, I believe it's time for a nice cup of tea and some thinking time. :D**


	23. Waterfall Of All

When I came to, the forest was silent. There was no wind, no birds... no _life_. Ominous, dark and cold, I found the surrounding trees offered none of the comfort I had felt at the start of the chase, their branches reaching out as if to snatch me and keep me in their midst. More than that, I felt hollow – there was nothing inside me that I could relate to anymore. The terror I'd experienced before being knocked out was as far off as a memory and even less substantial in my dazed state.

_Why am I still alive? Where is everyone? Hiroshi...?_

And then reality hit me like a two tonne anvil.

I didn't have it in me to hope; I knew it was a futile effort. What was, was. I couldn't change it now. Frail from disbelief and emptiness, I simply lay there, listening to the barren beat of my weak heart, waiting for tears that should but would not come, and knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was too late.

How long had I been here? An hour? Two? Much too long at any rate. Akatsuki... they'd had ample time to do the deed. All that was left was for it to sink in and when it did I didn't know what I'd do. A piece of me had been broken today, I knew. Not just broken; torn apart. Ripped into shreds so small and so many that the possibility of me ever being whole again was less than zero. Had it been quick and painless? I hoped so. He deserved that much. I'd led him to his demise... he deserved for it to be a peaceful one.

Without making the concious decision to do so, I forced myself to my knees. My arms trembled beneath the burden of my own weight but I persevered, dragging my numb limbs into position and supporting my heavy body as I knelt on all fours in the thick, wet mud. _That's odd_, I mused dully, the words barely making themselves heard through the fog clouding my brain. _When did it rain...? It was... sunny earlier..._

With herculean determination I moved my left knee up so that my foot found purchase on the slippery ground, though I had to use my hands to steady myself as waves of dizziness threatened to topple me. I did the same with the other foot and slowly, painfully, stood, my facial expression remaining blank and rigid. It was a necessity at this point – if I let any emotion through I'd be rendered incapable of moving at all and that would get me nowhere.

Dimly, without any real intention behind the action, I took a small juddering step forward. Then another. And another.

Before I knew it I was making steady progress through the shadowed woods, the sound of my ninja sandals against the squelching mud puncturing the otherwise deathly quiet. Where I was going, I didn't know – my feet moved with no direction from my head, which was just as well seeing as my head wasn't in a fit state to be giving orders anyway. It was all I could do to keep up the progress; fatigue threatened to engulf me, but I knew I had to keep at it. I couldn't stop; not _yet_.

There were so many unanswered questions. So many things I didn't know... Things I wasn't even sure I_ wanted_ to know.

Like how had I survived the fall? I was certain it should have killed me – there was no one in the world who could make it through an impact of that magnitude in one piece. Which meant someone had saved me; one of the Akatsuki chasing us obviously. But if that were the case, _who_? And why hadn't they taken me back? Why had they just left me here like this? Surely the only reason they'd even _consider_ sparing me after that escape attempt was because they still wanted me to help them with the barriers...

Then there was the matter of Hiroshi. There was no doubt in my mind...

Who'd done it? Who had been the one to...

I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. I couldn't know for sure yet. I couldn't think such negative thoughts. There was still a chance. He might be okay... and for my own sanity, I had to _believe_ that. I couldn't give in to hopelessness now – not when it looked like I'd been given a new lease of life... I _had_ to believe the same would be true for Hiroshi.

The sludgy earth sucked at my feet like quicksand and I fell more than once as I staggered through the dark no-man's-land the forest had become. There was a dull throbbing in my chest – an awful _thump, thump, thump_ that was both louder than a drum and harder against my chest than a metal hammer. My breath burned in my lungs like liquid fire, searing through me and leaving blisters. It hurt to move. Stumbling along as I was caused me physical pain. But I persevered. I had to. If I stopped... if I let up for even a second...

…

At last I broke the edge of the trees into a clearing of sorts – it wasn't actually a clearing at all really, but that was the only word I could pull from my otherwise dysfunctional brain, and it suit the place well enough in my opinion. I suppose the proper term would be 'glade' or something, since it wasn't quite big enough to constitute as a clearing.

There was a waterfall – tiny in comparison to the one back home, and the one back home wasn't that big either – cascading down a jutting rock face, running from the direction I'd come in. That told me that I must have been travelling downhill without realising it which didn't surprise me at all; I could have been travelling skyward and I wouldn't have noticed. The water was fast and furious, pounding down into a little lake (probably more aptly called a huge pond) before running off at the far edge and following it's new path through the forest. Overhead, the sky was grey and overcast – ironically, my favourite weather – and plain to see through the gap in the trees above. There were no birds; no insects that I could see either. It was as if the world itself was in mourning...

_No, Mizuko. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts._

I don't know who I was trying to fool. I certainly wasn't kidding myself, no matter how eager I was to try. The truth was clear as crystal. The fact that we'd gotten caught so quickly made it all the more evident. It wasn't some two bit gang of ninja wannabes we'd been facing – it was A_katsuki_. These guys were the real deal; top of the food chain, fully bona fide shinobi worth their weight in bounty gold. It was only natural they'd foiled us so easily. I'd have been more amazed if we'd actually managed to escape because – and I should have known this from the start – it would take nothing short of a miracle to make that happen.

All negative internalization aside, the glade _did_ feel pretty ominous. It was like walking into another world – a barren, dead, _cold_ other world. Reflecting the dull sky on it's bubbling surface, the little lake looked like a seething cauldron of unspeakable horrors... God only knew what lurked in it's depths. The boughs of the surrounding maples were as gnarled arms, apt to snatch you from your feet if you were foolish enough to drop your guard. Even the grass – something as harmless as wild grass – looked as deadly as makibishi spikes.

Eventually, as they inevitably must, my eyes were drawn to the _real_ crux of the scene – the part I think I'd been subconsciously saving till last, though to think my subconscious was still so operational given the ruins the rest of my mind was in, was simply incredible.

My breath caught somewhere between my throat and my lungs in a raspy gasp that wouldn't have been unsuitable as a death rattle. But other than that, there was no visible reaction whatsoever – someone too far away to hear would have seen nothing but a blank-faced, dry-eyed, slightly scruffy looking girl who could probably pass as a street urchin.

But inside that street urchin was dying.

There, half in the water, half out, was the one sight I had _desperately_ hoped not to see. The one I'd _known_ I'd be faced with but had prayed with every last piece of me, everything I had, that it wouldn't be. I'd had it easy in Itachi's Mangekyou trap – at least some part of me had known that was fake. At least that hadn't been _real_. This... this was beyond my ability to deal with.

Hiroshi lay as still as stone, his face turned away from me in the soft makeshift pillow of weeds. He looked like he might be asleep... except even from this distance I could see he wasn't breathing. And he had wounds. Big ones I reckoned, judging by the sheer amount of blood that had seeped into the water, turning it's edges a gruesome crimson. It was... It was...

Words failed me.

And then I was there with him, numb hands pulling at his form, dragging his dead weight out of the water. I don't know how I got there. I wasn't even sure what I was really doing, or why. It was as I suspected; it was too late; _I_ was too late. But even as I heaved his body onto the comparatively dry bank, there was still a part of me that _hoped_. A part that thought he might be saved. And all shinobi know that hope is a dangerous thing to have in these types of situations – it only sets you up for an agonising fall.

But I couldn't stop.

I rolled him onto his back so that his face was pointed heavenward and I'm sure, if I could somehow displace the numbness, I'd have sobbed. He was so _pale_. So soft and fragile looking. His brown hair was mussed, sopping wet and sticking to his forehead in damp, dirty spikes. My hands had been on their way to check his pulse but at the sight of him as peaceful as he was, they stopped and fell to my sides. It was already over.

He was gone.

I knelt by his head, staring. Just staring. There was no other way to put it. If he were... still here, I knew what he'd say to me.

"_Geez, Mizuko! Quit that will ya? You're givin' me the heebies girl."_

The thought should've brought tears. _Would've_, even... if he'd been anyone else. If he'd been someone else, I'm sure I'd've been able to show how devastated I was. But this was Hiroshi. _My _Hiroshi – the boy I'd grown up with as if he were my own brother. The team mate who'd saved my butt more times than I could count. My eyes saw – and _believed_ – it, but my heart and head and soul denied it stubbornly. He _couldn't _be... someone so amazing, so _special_ to me, couldn't be gone just like that.

_Ah, but they _can_. Don't you remember what happened with your Gramps? Here today, gone tomorrow. Life's like that Mizuko. You know it is._

The top half of my body fell clumsily, my heart too swollen to maintain the balance of my position. I landed with one hand either side of his head, looking right at him up close and personal. I could see all the details I'd taken for granted before, the things I'd never truly noticed. Like how his eyelids were always a bruised purple colour from too little sleep and too much E numbers; or how his nose was high and arrogant looking, giving his face an overall cheekiness that somehow defined him; or even how his skin was very slightly pockmarked, remnants of the time he got chickenpox when he was eight. And still, no tears. No wails of horror and anguish. Nothing.

I can't say how long I sat there like that. It could've been hours, it could have been minutes. But eventually, after memorising his features as best I could, letting my eyes soak up the essence of him for what was undoubtedly the very last time, I reached out a mud-caked, shaking hand and removed his forehead protector – his new one, I reminded myself, since I still had his old one. Leaning down slowly, I pressed my lips to his head and _that's_ when I finally felt them; salty tears, hot and wet, streaming from my eyes. They rolled down my cheeks and onto his white face, and the sight of them made something inside me fracture.

I howled. I raised my head and howled all the pain and sorrow and unfairness of it all at the deadpan sky, tears flowing freely, heart shredding in my chest.

Why? _Why?!_ I'm the one they wanted – _I'm_ the one who was supposed to die! This isn't how things were meant to be. Hiroshi... he was meant to live a happy life with a wife and family who loved him! He was meant to be here for Naoku when he made it in the world! And yet...

...And yet he _wasn't_. If he'd been meant to do those things, he would have still been here to do them. Wouldn't he? Was fate really so cruel that it would rob him of his childhood _and_ his future? Apparently so. It would seem that he wasn't meant for this world. And why should he be? Someone as kind and good as Hiroshi didn't deserve to be stuck in a world so despicable.

_I won't let this be for nothing..._ the voice was mine, inside _my_ head, but at the same time not. It was a new me – a part of me that had been keeping quiet for a very long time. Too long. She was hardened, _determined_ – she was the kind of girl who'd have escaped Akatsuki or died trying. The girl I should've been to begin with; it would have prevented all of this from happening. _I won't let his death mean nothing. I'm going home. I'm going home and I'm going to live _for_ him – and I dare Akatsuki to try and stand in my way._

Clutching Hiroshi's headband in my clenched fist, I got to my feet, looking down at him and wishing I could take him back with me. I wanted him to come home too, to be buried where he belonged and not left out here to rot in the bowls of a nightmare; but I couldn't carry him. I was weak from the chase – weak from the pain. I'd never make it all the way back like that and there would be too many questions from civilians along the way. Hiroshi would understand. He always did.

"I promise I won't forget, Hiroshi. I'll remember you. And Waterfall village will remember you." I croaked, tying the bloodstained forehead protector around my own head – it felt right to have it there again, even if it was so unbearably heavy with the memories. "Goodbye, old friend. I never told you this before but... I... love you; you were the best brother a girl could _ever_ wish for. And I'm glad for the time you spent by my side."

With that I turned and left, running full pelt for home with the tears coming fast and steady. Akatsuki could attempt to stop me if they wanted. I welcomed them to _try_. Because if I got my hands on one of them, there would be hell to pay – compensation was well overdue and it's high time the reaper came to collect.

/\

The time it took me to get home seemed to focus and un-focus at irregular intervals, the minutes blurring into hours, the hours to days and perhaps, even, the days to weeks. It was hard to say for sure how long it took me to get home. It could have been a week... but it could just as easily have been a month. Or a year. All I had to go on was the fragmented memories here and there, some of them clearer than others, most of them making no sense whatsoever.

Most of the time, I knew, I'd ran without pause, sprinting through forest, over grassland, up cliff and on top of water indiscriminately. I knew it was probably foolish but I don't recall running in any direction but straight in the bearing of home, some internal part of me telling me which way it was; _that_ was liable to get me killed more than anything else I could do. Nothing more fatal to a wanted woman's life than routine predictability.

But although I ran for all I was worth, it has to be remembered that I'm only human. I couldn't run indefinitely without rest or food and water. Naturally I had to stop at some of the villages along the way... Of course the services the towns offered did me little good with no money, so I was reduced to raking through trash for food, drinking from the sinks of public bathrooms and curling up for what little sleep I could glean in the most sheltered spots I could find. It wasn't ideal by any means but sometimes survival _wasn't _ideal – and I'd rather wake after a night of slim pickings in a town with witnesses (though if Akatsuki _did_ find me that wouldn't make a difference) than in the forest with a full belly where I would die alone.

It was as I passed through these sparse pockets of civilisation that my memories were clearest. The things I recalled were sharper, some startlingly so, and _all_ meaningless. A particular face... a spoken sentence... the name of a tavern... the cry of a crow... These things meant nothing to me. Nothing that I was willing to admit to at least. In truth, there _was_ one small connection; something that made such everyday sights stand out in neon contrast amongst the other everyday sights. But acknowledging it felt like an injustice to Hiroshi. Like a betrayal of him. And God knew I'd done enough of that already.

_It's because of _him, my inner self whispered, ignoring the deep understanding I'd reached with myself about the topic being taboo. _You can't deny it – you know it's true. You've seen these things before, only the last time you weren't alone. You were with _Deidara_._

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about Deidara. Heck, I'd be lying if I said I'd only thought of him a _little. _Apart from Hiroshi, he was the person first and foremost on my mind, and that fact made me truly sick with myself. I knew why too and _that_ made it even worse.

_I loved him_. Even if there was a fifty-fifty chance he'd killed my best friend, I _still_ loved him. I loved him more because I couldn't see him – it was a burning ache in my heart, never more than a second away from swallowing me in it's flames. And the horrible, terrible truth was that the other inferno inside me – the one bright with anguish and anger and hurt for Hiroshi – would easily be eclipsed by the infatuation if I let it.

Sometimes I wanted to go back – go find Deidara and tell him everything. Tell him how I felt and how I never wanted to leave his side again. I wanted to be with him as more than a hostage or a burden – I didn't even want to be just friends. I wanted him to be mine and only mine. And on my more primal level – the place in my mind where my wants came before my needs (and my self-preservation) – I wanted to march back to him and demand his love in return.

But I wouldn't. Apart from the fact that I knew he was a man of his own mind and would never love me the way I loved him, Hiroshi had died for me. He'd died trying to save me and for whatever reason – whatever brutal twist of fate – it had worked. I wasn't about to throw that away over a stupid, childish crush. There would be other guys...other _loves_...

_But they won't be Deidara... _

Trying to ignore this selfish thought, I'd spent most of my journey fretting over another matter. It had occurred to me several times that Akatsuki hadn't shown up yet and I wasn't sure whether that should worry me or not; I just didn't know what to make of it. Were they biding their time? Waiting for me to exhaust myself?

After some intense rationalization, I decided that _couldn't_ be it – why bide time when they could just grab me as I slept without a fuss? But if that wasn't it, what was? What were they waiting for? Surely they were looking for me. I knew too much about them to be allowed to live, that much was certain. So what was taking them so long?

Not that I was complaining. If they didn't turn up then great but... it was a little odd. Surely they hadn't dragged me halfway across the world to just let me slip away at the most crucial moment? Very odd indeed...

Long story short, by the time I'd at last stopped outside the waterfall of my childhood – the one I'd trained in front of, played on with Hiroshi and sat by in my more thoughtful hours – I was already at the very edge of my emotional stability. Too much had happened, too much had gone unanswered, and I was more than a little highly strung. I didn't want to face them like that... I didn't want any of the villagers to see me until I was calm enough to tell them everything without breaking down. Ninja don't break down. Not ever.

So instead of jumping into the basin and swimming through the underground pass to the village beyond, I sat beneath the protective shadow of a tall hackberry tree, staring at the star studded sky and finding a peace I hadn't felt in forever in the moon's pearly glow.

It was a crescent moon this evening, the sliver of white hanging in the sky like a deadly fang biting into the black of night. Looking around at the familiar sights – sights I hadn't seen in _months_ – I was immediately slammed by the past, mostly woven of lies and deceit. The rock by the base of the waterfall... that's where my Grandfather and I used to sit after our training sessions... And that ledge, halfway up the fall... that's where Hiroshi and me used to dive off when we were younger, before we grew courageous enough to jump from the very top.

And it was then that I wondered about the wisdom of returning to the village at all. It was, essentially, the village's fault Hiroshi was dead... because they wouldn't send me back up when I needed it. They would have happily left me to the dogs and as a result my best friend was _dead_. Not only that but they'd kept the truth about my conniving bastard of a Grandfather from me for _years_. They had lied to me consistently, even though I'd given the better part of my youth in service to them. So I had to ask: Did I really want to return to a place like that?

But of course, in the end it was a pointless question. If I didn't return to the Hidden Waterfall village and seek their protection, where _would_ I go? Where _could_ I go? Seek shelter in another shinobi village? Unthinkable. Always assuming they bought my story, they'd likely draft me in as one of _their_ ninja and force me to use my skills to their advantage; that's not what I wanted at all. I wanted to retire and live the civilian life I deserved. I wanted my freedom...

"You know, if you don't hurry up and get in there the others'll catch up, un."

Under normal circumstances – if I'd been the me I was before Hiroshi died – I'd probably have frozen from shock. And there's no denying I _was_ shocked. But I couldn't freeze; not when the fires of love, relief and rage burned so strongly in my gut. Love and relief because I'd figured I'd never see him again and as much as it shames me to admit, I'd _wanted_ to see him again. I loved him and for some reason nothing I did was shifting that emotion. Rage because regardless of what I felt for him as an individual, it couldn't change what I felt for him as an Akatsuki.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I hissed venomously, too confused inside to find any better vent for my anger. I loved him, yes, but that didn't change what he was. It didn't change the fact that he'd kidnapped me or that my best friend was dead thanks to him, at least in part. Such thoughts only fuelled my fury until it obscured those other emotions – temporarily of course, but it was enough.

"Don't give me that." Deidara sighed, coming into sight from my left, stepping from the forest as if he'd been part of it all along. He should have sounded angry himself... or at the very least, condescending. But instead he just sounded tired, his voice stretched and world-weary. "You'd be dead already if it wasn't for me, so show a little gratitude, hm?"

"What you mean is I _should_ be dead already _thanks_ to you." I snapped, treating him to my most vicious glare, the effect dampened somewhat in my exhaustion. And, there's no harm in admitting, because it wasn't in me to truly hate him the way I should. "Just like Hiroshi; isn't that right?" I added bitterly, trying to conceal the resonating hurt I felt at saying his name out loud.

"So _that_ was Hiroshi, hm?" Deidara mused sadly, coming closer. I sprung to my feet and faced him defensively, damn sure that love or no love, I wasn't letting him take me back there. He eyed me speculatively before leaning on another hackberry tree near mine, gazing off at the waterfall contemplatively. "I had a feeling, un. Sorry..."

"Oh, _sorry_ are you? Well I'm afraid sorry doesn't cut it! Sorry won't bring him back, Deidara!" I yelled, tears burning in my eyes like vinegar. I was surprised he'd apologised at all – pleasantly so – but I meant what I'd said; sorry didn't change the past and it didn't take away the pain. If anything his condolences made it worse.

"I know, un." he said meekly, crossing his arms and staring down at his feet like they were the most interesting things in the world. "But it's all I can give you. I'm sorry for everything, un. For kidnapping you, for causing you all this trouble... and for that friend of yours. Mizuko; I'm sorry, un."

I didn't say anything. What _was_ there to say, really? I'd told him what I thought about his apology and I'm sure he wasn't dumb enough to think I'd changed my mind so easily. But the antagonism _did_ sober a little, and as I looked him over suspiciously – still waiting, I think, for him to spring up and whisk me away – I felt the tenderness I harboured for him take pride of place in my mind.

He was so... _handsome_... I'd always thought so, right back to the very first time we met. His blonde hair was silky and, in a word, gorgeous and it accentuated his clear blue eyes perfectly. His eyes themselves were deep and alluring, pulling me in, daring me to come closer. But at the same time they had that boyish sparkle, the cheeky appeal I loved so much. His face still held some hint of teenage youth to it's smooth features, but even so it was undeniably hardened; something about the harsh set of his cheek bones and nose suggested he'd endured many an arduous battle in his time. More than me at any rate and the thought made me a little sad – we were the same age after all...

But I suppose that's the way things are in the ninja world. There was always going to be insane variances in skill out there and there was no law stating an age limit for possessing power... In this world there were kids younger than me yet they could give the _kage_ a run for their money, and there was no doubt in my mind that Deidara fell squarely into such a category. He'd seen more than a guy his age should ever had to have seen... done more than he should had to have done... And I guess that was the where the _real_ attraction I felt for him lay.

I liked broken people. There was something about them that drew me in, made me want to fix them – to put them right. My best friend had been as broken as they came, a pathetic orphan with no one and nothing to his name. I'd seen that in him and I'd wanted to be his something. I'd wanted to help him, make him feel like he was as worthy as everyone else. And it was the same with Deidara.

I wanted to show Deidara that the life he'd chosen didn't have to be the one he stuck with. He could change if he wanted to and _I_ wanted to be there to help him – I wanted to be the one he changed _for_. Sure, okay; the man was definitely a classic example of lunatic if there ever was one. I knew he enjoyed his work to an extent, but getting to know him as I had made me believe it wasn't so much the _killing_ he liked as opposed to the 'art'. It might sound big-headed and egotistical but I think I knew him better than anyone else did and I knew he wasn't the monster everyone thought he was. I wanted to repair him. I wanted to make him better. The only question was, _could I?_

"D'you want me to go, un?" he asked quietly. _NO!_ was my instant response, but I bit my tongue. My pride would never let me go _that_ far.

"No, Deidara. It's fine. Stay." I sighed, trying for casual and getting a rather strained degree of it. I stood where I was watching him surreptitiously, doing with him as I'd done with Hiroshi and trying to engrave his face on my eternal memory – he wasn't dead but I knew as surely as the sun would rise that this would be the last time I saw him. Or if it wasn't, the next time one of us would definitely be dying. Pushing the heartrending thoughts aside, I took the initiative and broke the hush that had fallen.

"What're you dong here, Deidara. Surely the great terrorist bomber of Akatsuki didn't come all this way to apologise for something he probably enjoyed doing." I muttered sarcastically. Yeah, I was softening; but it still gave me a vindictive pleasure to see the scowl on his face when I said that.

"Real mature, un. For your information I _didn't_ enjoy _anything_ – and it wasn't even me that did it, so you can quit with the guilt trip, un." he retorted.

"So it was Kisame then," I stated, equally hurt by the notion. I hadn't spent all that much time with the mist nin but I'd grown to _like_ him. It stung to think that someone I considered a friend almost, had torn a piece of my soul away so easily. What was worse was that I knew the shark-man wouldn't apologise for it either – I knew he'd have took _pleasure_ in his work.

"Um... no." Deidara fidgeted, looking uncomfortable with the new direction the conversation had taken. My heart was too busy doing sickening flips to care. _If not Kisame, then who? Pein? Itachi?_

"Who?" I whispered numbly, praying for some small mercy. Praying it had been fast and painless.

"Er... Listen... are you sure you want me to tell you, un? I don't think-,"

"Deidara." I stopped him, voice steady and calm. "I want to know. I _need_ to know. Just....just tell me. Please."

He let out a deep, foreboding sigh. "Alright. But don't say I didn't warn you, un. It was Kakuzu."

_Of course it was._ I mused sourly, taking the news better than I'd thought I would. _Irony... The world revolves around irony._

The truth was it didn't hurt nearly as much as it would have if it had been Deidara or Kisame or even Itachi who'd done it. I liked Deidara and Kisame, and I wasn't a fan of Itachi's methods. I think, short of that, he'd had a considerably lenient death compared to what could have happened. After all, Kakuzu was a no-nonsense kind of guy, so he'd probably made it quick. I hoped.

"How did it happen?" The words had left my mouth before I'd had time to consider them. But it didn't matter because I'm sure even upon thorough contemplation, I'd have asked the same question anyway.

"Mizuko, look... this isn't healthy-,"

"Just tell me." I interrupted again, giving him a hard stare saturated with my conviction. "I'm a shinobi, not a fairy. I deserve to know how my best friend died."

Another sigh. "Fine. You two were running in an easterly direction, right, un? Well you know Hidan, Kakuzu and Tsukai had been coming from that direction when we left the house that day so when you fell and your little friend didn't notice, he kept running and bumped right into them. I guess your Gramps-" I shuddered at the use of the word to describe a man I no more thought of as my Gramps than I thought of Deidara as my father. "recognised him and he...well... he tore his heart out." Deidara finished in a rush, tone reflecting discomfort as he eyed me carefully for my reaction.

I tried, I really did. But when I answered him my voice was thick and choked sounding. It was hard to talk past the lump in my throat and I hated it; the look of sympathy Deidara threw me made my inner ninja writhe in shame.

"Was – was it quick?" I croaked, fighting back the tears furiously, determined I would not succumb to my emotions like a civilian sissy. I was still a shinobi until I signed the resignation papers and damn it, I would act like it.

"Yeah," he said softly, eyes on me as I chewed my cheeks to pieces. In their azure depths I thought I saw a glint of something – something kind and understanding that he wasn't capable of openly displaying. _It's alright_, that spark said. _Cry if you want to. I won't think any less of you_. But whether that was the case or not, I couldn't allow myself to crumble that easily. I was a new person – I'd changed that day I found Hiroshi's body and I _had_ to make sure it stayed that way.

"Would you say that even if it wasn't true?" I questioned with a wry smile completely devoid of humour.

He seemed to think about that seriously for a moment and when he answered I was sure it was the unadulterated truth.

"No." he said firmly at last, shaking his head. "As you so eloquently put it, you're a ninja too, not a 'fairy'. You deserve the truth even if it's not what you wanna hear, un."

"Thanks." And I really was grateful for that. He'd afforded me some respect – his words proved it – and that meant a lot to me. More than I could ever tell him. Because after tonight we'd never meet again, and I didn't want to risk discussing something that could ultimately lead to me telling him how I felt. Life was hard enough for the both of us without opening _that_ can of worms.

For a long while we didn't talk again and I think it had more to do with the fact that we were both too busy with our own inner turmoil than anything else. Deidara was _here_, and wasn't – to the best of my knowledge – planning to take me back to Akatsuki. He'd basically told me to hurry and go in before the others caught up earlier, so I think that meant he had no intention of re-kidnapping me; or killing me for that matter. Obviously that meant he had a lot of thinking to do in regards to what he was gonna say to explain my absence to them. As for me, as usual I was bemoaning the hand I'd been dealt in the game that is life.

It was so incredibly unfair. Even as we sat, not saying anything and not even looking in each others' directions, I felt an incredible, desperate _want_ for him. I wanted him so _badly_, like I'd never wanted anything before in my life – expect, perhaps, the ability to revive the dead. In my mind's eye I could see myself running my fingers through his beautiful blonde locks, could almost imagine the silky, soft feel of them as I tugged at them playfully. I could see his cobalt eyes smoulder with passion as he copied my actions, could feel the shivers up my spine and the beating of my heart as we kissed until we were breathless. And I _wanted_ it. Such an exquisite, captivating dream... and it was forever beyond my reach.

"Hn." Deidara snorted, amused, knocking me out of my stupor and encouraging a blush to spread up my neck as I realised I'd been thinking inappropriate thoughts about him again. _You idiot,_ I scolded myself, avoiding Deidara's eye contact. _Of course you can't have him. He doesn't feel the same and even if he did, it would be impossible. _You_ might know he's a good person inside, but no one else will listen... You can't give everything up just like that for one man._

"What's so funny? I don't know how you can laugh at any of this; it's not what I'd call a good source of humour." I muttered sourly, covering my embarrassment at my own silly enchantment with him with irritation – my natural reaction to uncomfortable situations.

"Hm? Oh, I was just thinking, un."

"About?" I prompted, chancing a calculating glance in his direction.

He was looking right at me, an expression on his face I'd only ever seen once before – in my dream, when he'd blown me to kingdom come with his cat model. It was torn, pained, _lost_... and my heart caught in my throat, half from fear, half from an all consuming need to see the expression disappear. Had my dream been a prophecy? Was it going to come true?

And of course now I'd taken one look, I couldn't turn away. The eye not curtained by his hair was totally focused on me and it met my gaze steadily, unblinking for minutes on end until at last, with a weary sigh, he closed it and did something I hadn't expected – he brushed the curtain of his hair away behind his ear and for the first time ever I found myself looking into _both_ of Deidara's eyes. The scope he'd shown me before was nowhere to be seen and I figured he'd taken it off before he approached me, not that it mattered. I was too lost in the wonder of his amazing eyes to care.

"The fact that I trailed over more than three hundred miles making sure you made it back here safely, and now I don't know if I can stand to let you go in there, un." he said matter-of-factly, taking a few steps in my direction, still holding my stare with an equally intense one of his own.

I was immediately on guard. Why couldn't he let me go in? Was he _really_ planning on taking me back there?

_Over my dead body he is!_ the angry thought thundered through my skull instantly.

Then the core of what he'd said smacked me in the face; it felt like jumping in a freezing cold shower with wound fever – burning on the inside, icy on the out. My chest pounded with hopeless hope – I wanted to believe... But I also _didn't_.

He'd been with me the whole time. He'd kept me safe, made sure I made it here without a hitch. I don't know how he managed it but I knew it was true. That wasn't what bothered me, though; it's what that _meant_ that I was worried about.

"W-_what?_" I gasped, horror setting in like hypothermia in my bones.

"I think you heard me, Mizuko. I said I've been following you and keeping the others off your tail the whole time, un." he said quietly, looking away as though embarrassed or ashamed or both. I didn't like the direction this conversation was going in – even if my heart _was_ doing excited little flips against my ribcage.

"So... So then you're the one... who... When I fell... you...?" I floundered, unable to form coherent sentences as shock and despair wrapped their claws around me.

"Yeah. I saved you. Surprise, un."

"But... _why_?"

"I don't _believe_ you're this stupid Mizuko. _Think_ about it for a second. I'm not gonna spell it out, un." he grumbled in a typically 'Deidara' manner – I would've smiled if I hadn't felt so sick.

I knew what I _thought_ it all meant; and that last cryptic comment made it seem all the more likely. But if I was right... Well then it was about the worst thing that could possibly happen to me short of the world caving in. It was alright _me_ being so involved and emotionally attached because I was a just a silly little girl. If it were just me I could get on with my life thinking there'd never been a chance... That we wouldn't have worked. But what he was saying – what I _thought_ he was saying – made that all but impossible. He was basically offering me everything I wanted. _And I couldn't accept._ Now I'd have to go on knowing that not only had there _been_ a chance, he'd actually given me the opportunity... and I'd had to turn my back on it. It was too ironically painful.

"No." I shook my head in denial, eyes wide. "NO! You can't do _this_ to me, Deidara. Blow me up, cut me to pieces, whatever you want – just not this!"

"_I'm _not doing anything! This is _your_ fault, un!" he snapped, striding towards me in three quick steps, temper flaring. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me angrily, eyes full of rage, hurt and confusion. In that moment I understood him better than I ever had before – he was just a little kid inside, same as me. A bewildered, lost little boy. And he blamed _me_ for that. "You think I wanted this? My life was _easy_ before you came along and messed it up! Now I feel like _this_ and I can't get rid of it, un!"

"Before _I_ came along and messed _your_ life up?!" I screeched, forgetting to be dismayed by the cruel lemon fate had thrown at me, my temper flaring to match his in sight of his audacity. "I forget bomb-boy, who kidnapped _who_ again?!"

"Well maybe if you weren't so damn tempting all the time! Seriously, I'm only one man – I can't be blamed for falling victim to my baser instincts, un!" he shot back, glaring down at me with a contemptuous flourish.

"T-Tempting?!" I spluttered, completely unable to believe he'd used that word in reference to me. I mean did he _see_ the me everyone else saw? I was a pathetic bumbling idiot with an attitude problem. What was tempting about that? Unless he meant tempting as in he was tempted to slap me one.

We glared at each other in silence for a while, thinking things over in our own ways at our own paces. To me it was pretty clear we had some sort of problem – or I did at least. _I_ was still a loyal shinobi. _I_ still had a village. What did he think he'd achieve by coming here and telling me all this? Did he think I'd come back? Join Akatsuki? Run away with him? This was reality and fairytales might end that perfectly but real life didn't. I had a mother in Waterfall village. I had friends and a future in Waterfall village. I couldn't just drop all of that for the sake of misplaced feelings.

"Yes." he sighed, releasing my arms and bowing his head miserably as if he'd read the thoughts in my eyes. "Tempting. I... Since the first time we kissed, you're all I've thought about, un. It felt _right, _Mizuko_. _I felt like... for the first time in my life I was doing something _right_. I'd never bothered about it before – about doing things right – but once I'd felt it, it was hard to forget. I wanted more; _needed_ it, un. I looked for more excuses to kiss you, just so I could feel what I felt that first time. Like I'd been forgiven. Like there was something in me worth saving, un."

I didn't reply. How _could _I? What could I say to such a confession?

But I didn't _need_ to say anything.

No sooner had he finished talking than he grabbed my chin and pressed his lips to mine, demanding yet tender and gentle, stealing my breath and my will to struggle with little effort at all. It was as though just talking about it had made it hopeless for him to resist, and I felt both distressed and flattered by his obvious _need_ for me. And to be honest, it gave me some comfort to know I wasn't alone in my desires – that I wasn't the _only_ foolish one here.

He certainly didn't waste any time, opening his mouth and probing my lower lip with his tongue without preamble, taking no prisoners – taking everything he could get before we had to split apart for good. I was only too happy to oblige – and when I say too happy, I mean _too_ happy. I parted my own lips, sliding my tongue out to meet his in a bold gesture I'd never shown before as my eyes flickered shut. He tasted as good as I remembered. _Better_ even. Delicately sweet – like watered down honey – with a citric undertone, lemon or perhaps lime. I never wanted to let go. I never wanted to _forget._

Through the lust fogging my brain I felt his hands situate themselves on my hips – a firm but feathery caress that made it hard to think – and push me back against the tree I'd been sitting under not so long ago, never breaking contact with my mouth for even a second; it was as though I'd become his oxygen and he was a dying man fighting to prolong his agony. He pressed his body against mine, pinning me as I brought my hands up and grasped fistfuls of his cloak, fighting not just to keep him close, but to keep my balance. His thumbs, hard and calloused, slipped under my clothing and began to rub slow, tantalising circles just above my hip bones, his other fingers splayed, digging into my skin as he fought for control of himself. Control I didn't want him to have.

Through his thick clothes I could feel the sturdiness of his well-toned muscles, could hear his heart beat like drums in my ears as it pounded in time with mine. I pulled him closer, the fire inside me completely blocking any common sense, and gasped when I felt him shift forward slightly, pressing his leg between my thighs in an act more intimate than any we'd shared before. _This is new, _I thought dimly, shivering as jolts of electricity zapped up my spine and back. _I could get used to this._

I can't say for sure how far we would have went. I don't even want to speculate quite frankly, because I'm sure the answer wouldn't be what the lucid part of me wanted to hear. All I know is one minute we were very busy and the next, we weren't.

Deidara suddenly disappeared from in front of me and before I could figure out what was going on, he was behind me with a sharp kunai pressed against the soft flesh of my throat. I gasped and tried to wrench myself away, cursing the fact I'd been so stupid and had fallen for his ridiculous, spiteful lies. Of _course_ he didn't love me! How could I even have thought-

"Calm down Mizuko, un." he whispered in my ear, and immediately I stilled. I know it was stupid but the tone in his voice was too convincing even when everything else told me he was a dirty no good rat. I swallowed hard, repressing the urge to tremor at the feel of the well-honed blade against my gullet. "It's your time to shine. How d'you feel about single-handedly bringing one of the most wanted criminals in the world to justice?"

"What?" I didn't even _try _ to disguise my incredulity. To be honest I thought he'd gone insane. Maybe he _had_. Maybe he'd always been.

"I can't let you go in there. Not when it means I'll have to live the rest of my life without you, un." he muttered, unabashed – it took me a second to register what he was saying, not because of what he meant by it, but because it was such an absurdly _un_-Deidara-like thing for him to say. "So I'm coming too."

"But Deidara! If you... you'll... they-,"

"I know." he interrupted. "But to me, it's better than the alternative, un. Wait for my signal, 'kay?"

I didn't have a chance to tell him that no, it was _not_ okay, because at that moment, what seemed like the entire contingent of the Hidden Waterfall's force of ANBU were on us. It shocked me that I hadn't sensed their approach; I was wiped out, yes, but that was no excuse for elementary slip ups like _that_. The candid part of my brain muttered that it had more to do with being too preoccupied than being too tired.

"We have you completely surrounded! Release the girl and come quietly or suffer the consequences!" I recognised the heavy funeral-esque tones of Reiji, captain of the Waterfall's ANBU and key participant in the punishment force. Looking around I saw he wasn't kidding; we were surrounded alright.

"If any of your men take a single step, I'll kill her before you can so much as blink!" Deidara yelled back, sounding – and looking, I didn't doubt – like the ferocious S-class criminal he was. To me, in a voice so soft that I was sure I was the only one who heard, he said, "Now, Mizuko. Flip me over your head, un. Don't worry, I won't do anything."

"_What_?" I whispered back harshly from the corner of my mouth. It was always my intention to return to the village at whatever cost but, I realised, I didn't want to do that if it meant Deidara would be hauled in as a prisoner (ironic little twist there, huh? It would seem our roles had reversed.). And I knew that if the village got it's way he'd be locked up, tortured for information and then unceremoniously executed. Such a way to go was not befitting a man of Deidara's stature... and I loved him too much for my heart to possibly withstand such a thing. "Do you even know what you're doing? Don't you know what'll happen if you-?"

"Just do it, Mizuko!" he hissed, keeping his eyes on the ANBU who were currently looking to their leader for guidance – it wasn't often they encountered a situation like this. "I know what I'm doing! This is how I'll make everything right. This is how I'll pay my dues. Flip me, un! Flip me now!"

I did as I was told and grabbed the arm holding the kunai to my throat, spinning out of his grasp (I shivered – why was it so _cold_?) and twisting his arm up behind him until he let go of the weapon. He did so with a well feigned look of surprise and a yelp that probably _wasn't_ so feigned – I _may_ have twisted too hard in the dull pain hammering away at my ribs, as I realised with horror just what I was about to do. Wasting not a second, I forcefully flipped him onto his back and held him there with his arm pinned to his body as far up as it would go, holding back tears as my mind rushed forward through time in leaps and bounds.

Deidara sitting alone, bloodied and bruised in a cold, damp prison cell.

Him glaring defiantly at his torturers as they threatened and intimidated him with all sorts of horrid-looking items.

Him waiting patiently for his sentence during the grace period.

Him _dying._

"Well done, Mizuko." Deidara whispered approvingly, sounding only slightly breathless from all the action.

The ANBU, temporarily stunned by my actions, suddenly cheered and rushed forward to help me up – and of course, take their prize to the dungeons. As two masked men grabbed one of my arms each and led me towards the village, talking to me in impressed, admiration-filled voices, I saw two things that made my stomach roil with guilt and raw hurt.

The first was Naoku, my sole surviving team mate, standing by the waterfall with a black look on his face. It was an expression of such untainted disgust and confusion that I knew what his problem was instantly. Naoku was a smart boy; strong, brave, loyal and _observant_. He was the only non-ANBU personnel in the area, which meant he'd probably been the one who spotted Deidara arrive and by extension the one who informed the village and led them here to 'help' me – he _did_ train out here an awful lot, after all.

He turned away hastily when he met my gaze, diving into the basin leading to Waterfall Village without a backwards glance or a word spared in my direction. To me it was clear; he'd witnessed the meant-to-be silent exchange between Deidara and I before I'd flipped him, and knowing Naoku like I did, he could probably see how upset I was by this turn of events without even talking to me. He knew the relationship between Deidara and I was far from platonic.

The second thing I saw made me want to throw up on the spot, and in actual fact I _did_ stop to catch my breath, bending over with my hands on my knees as I fought the nausea clawing at my throat. My accompanying ANBU watched me with concern – at least I _assume_ it was concern – and asked graciously if I'd like to be carried back the long way instead of enduring the underwater swim. I waved them off saying I was alright, because although it was about the furthest thing from the truth I knew I was just going to _have_ to be.

What I'd seen the second before I dropped my head in sickening shame, was none other than Tsukai, her face pale, shocked and aghast, tears already carving tracks down her pain-drawn face. Then she'd turned and run off at full speed and I had no doubt as to where she was going – back to Akatsuki to tell them what she'd seen and ask for their help. And whereas Naoku had only seen the tip of the iceberg and was mostly working off of guesses, Tsukai had seen the whole thing from start to finish – absolutely _all_ of it. There was no uncertainty in my mind about that.

I was actually very glad, on some level, that she'd seen. Glad that she'd gone to get help. Because I knew that if she was successful, Deidara would be spared and he wouldn't have to die here because of me.

And although I knew there could be potentially catastrophic consequences in that course of action for me and the village, I couldn't bring myself lament the possibility.

**I think this is the best chapter I've written for this story so far. It's certainly my favourite even if I had to endure the pain of killing off Hiroshi. Speaking of which, I apologise for that. I've known for ages now – since the first time you guys met him – that I was gonna kill him off, so I did my absolute best to make sure I didn't get attached to him as I wrote. And I'm sad to say, I failed. T_T It made me feel really guilty every time I got a review saying something about Hiroshi because I knew what I was gonna do to him all along and because of the way I wanted the plot to go there was simply no way around it. Still, there's a silver lining! Mizuko is free again! Only now Deidara's in trouble. -_-' Don't worry. I'm wrapping this story up soon enough so there aren't many more mean surprises left.**


	24. Broken Hearts and Long Lost Letters

The next few weeks were... painful to say the least.

One would _think_ being home again would make me happy. That I'd be glad to see my mother again after so long; that it would be a relief to wake up to familiar faces and sights and sounds instead of that niggling voice in the back of my mind constantly asking questions like _'Is today the day?'_, _'Am I waking to my final moments on earth?' _and _'Is this the last supper, so to speak?'._

And yes, I _was_ pleased with those things on some level. But every smile was overshadowed by the knowledge that Deidara was enduring God knew what in some dingy cell somewhere. Every laugh was choked by tears that threatened to swallow my composure because I knew I might never seehim again. Food was bitter; sleep was worse. Somehow what I'd wanted all along wasn't what I'd thought it would be, and it was hard to act the grateful, ecstatic fortunate everyone expected me to be.

Sometimes I couldn't help it and I just broke down like a pathetic fool. Usually at the most inappropriate moments too, because after all, what's hurt without humiliation, right?

Like the day I'd made my report to Lord Shibuki for example... It was a day that would haunt me for the rest of my blighted, lonely existence.

It had happened just two days after Deidara's capture; I'd been discharged from the hospital that very morning – to which I'd been committed the night of my return 'just in case' – and on the way home two ANBU had hailed me to Shibuki's office for what they pompously called a 'Debriefing Assembly'. I hadn't wanted to go; I hadn't trusted my ability to stay calm yet (rightly so, as it turned out) and there was still the little matter of Naoku playing on my mind. I hadn't seen him since that fateful night and the thought of what he may or may not know made me feel physically sick. He wouldn't tell anyone, right? We were friends... He wouldn't sell me out like that... would he?

On top of that there'd been the suffocating vigilance of my mother, who'd watched me like a hawk from the second she found out I was in the village, and showed no signs of letting up any time soon. She'd been beside herself when she visited me at the hospital, crying and clinging, begging me to quit the ninja business before it was too late (ha! As if I needed her encouragement!). I'd missed her a lot – more than I can even begin to describe. But for some reason being near her _hurt_. She'd lied to me too, after all. She'd known Kakuzu was alive and she hadn't told me. That knowledge was... well, it was a little hard to digest.

But regardless of my emotional instability, I was a ninja and I had a duty to fulfil.

Normally reports were made through paper, but I guess the delicate nature of recent happenings demanded a more personal conveyance of the story, and it wasn't for me to challenge our Leader's wisdom. I entered his office at twelve noon prompt (to which he raised a rather incredulous eyebrow – in all his time as village leader, he'd never once known me to be on time no matter _how_ imperative the situation) and there I revealed as much of the story as I could without getting myself (or Deidara for that matter) into more trouble than we had to deal with already.

"_And then what happened? After you found Hiroshi's body?" _Lord Shibuki had asked somewhat bluntly. It was harsh and I flinched, even though I'd half-expected the question, but I understood that his attitude was justified. He was a shinobi and a leader; he had to be strong even if I couldn't.

"_It would appear Akatsuki became sufficiently distracted by other matters and momentarily forgot about me, giving me a chance to escape and head for home, Sir." _I replied stiffly, biting back tears with sheer willpower. It wasn't just the mention of Hiroshi that had me close to a complete mental breakdown, although it certainly didn't help. It was the fact that I knew what Akatsuki had been distracted _by_. It was currently sitting in one of the Hidden Waterfall's jail cells, and if I knew my interrogation methods right, he was probably in some form of pain. I wanted to ask where he was and what they were doing to him (my very soul cried out for knowledge I knew it would never be ready to have) but knew it would be a grave mistake so I bit the impulse back. Icould_ just_ keep the traitorous tears back and no more; I didn't feel like testing my luck by expressing concern about him. I didn't think my fragile control could handle it.

"_And the prisoner? Deidara, was it? Do you know why he followed you? What his motives were? Why wasn't he distracted like the others?" _Shibuki questioned, maintaining a hard stare that I squirmed under restlessly. I knew it was probably just me being paranoid but with the way he was looking at me, I couldn't help but think perhaps Naoku had told the elders what he'd deduced already. The possibility stung like betrayal. Was no one who I thought they were nowadays? The Naoku _I_ knew would never go to our superiors with something he hadn't absolutely proven yet. Certainly not without talking to me about it first.

"_With all due respect sir, why are you asking me a question I obviously can't answer? I was running for my life; I had no time to ponder the enemy's motives." _I said quietly, ignoring my heart as it throbbed painfully at calling Deidara an enemy – even although I knew that so long as I was a ninja, that was what he was. But then again, enemy or not, that was neither here nor there. He was a dead man regardless _what_ I thought of him.

Lord Shibuki let out a long-suffering sigh and leant wearily against the high-back of his office chair; the one he favoured for dealing with the really serious business. He steepled his fingers thoughtfully for a few seconds – seconds in which I could see his brain ticking over like a well-oiled clock – before his expression softened somewhat reluctantly and he addressed me with a hint of sympathy in his tone. I know he was going for the comforting guru effect but it just made me feel even worse. Like he was slapping the living daylights out of me with one hand and stroking my head consolingly with the other.

"_I'm sorry, Mizuko. I know it's been a tough few months for you, what with being Akatsuki's prisoner and all. But you did well – you're a ninja your village can be proud of." _he smiled, managing to appear every bit as proud as he claimed he was. And that was when the floodgates opened.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back; I couldn't handle it anymore no matter how I strived to, acting like everything was fine when in actual fact, nothing was – Deidara's bleak future, Hiroshi's demise, Naoku's suspicion, Gramps' treachery, my mother's clinging and now my Lord's unwarranted pride. When had my world gotten so complicated? When had it gotten to the point where the difference between friend and foe wasn't as plain as day anymore?

Unwanted tears slid over the rims of my eyelids and dripped to the floor like heavy silver petals, an agonised moan of anguish tearing through my shaky poise like wet paper. My legs started to shake and eventually crumpled, my pain-wracked body falling to the floorboards with a heavy, helpless thump. I stared at the shocked expression on Shibuki's face and tried to remember the times when I'd have found it funny – times when I'd've gone out of my way to make him speechless like he was now. But now they seemed as distant as a dream, and the more I tried to remember, the further away the memories seemed to get.

I might have laughed if I wasn't so lost – it was just too cruel. Too _ironic_. But there was nothing funny about this and instead I started sobbing uncontrollably, barely listening when Shibuki called his personal entourage of ANBU to contact my mother.

"_Call Junko. Tell her to come get Mizuko and take her home for some rest. She's had a tough time of it and I know how close she and Hiroshi were." _he whispered dolefully, patting my shoulder awkwardly and wincing when it only made me cry harder. I suppose it counts as a sort of blessing that they all thought it was just Hiroshi I was getting tearful over. And why should they think otherwise? No one but Naoku had any reason to doubt it.

That escapade had been three days ago and things hadn't improved since then; not even a little. They say when you hit rock bottom the only way is up, and I can see why they (whoever 'they' is) might think that. But whoever made up that saying didn't know squat, plain and simple. True, you might not be able to get any lower but that didn't mean you'd be going _up, _by any means. In fact, when you hit rock bottom it felt like there _was_ no 'up'. There was no hope, nothing to look forward to – everything was meaningless.

And at the risk of sounding melodramatic, I knew that without him – without Deidara to brighten what was left of my world and chase away the shadows – it would all _remain _meaningless. He was my only hope at happiness again... or at least that's the way it _felt_, which is really as good as it being the hard, cold truth. My sane part (so small and insignificant these days) knew that was just the teen angst talking. It screamed at me that I was too old to be brooding around like a lovesick little girl. Still... I couldn't help how I felt and it really, truly felt like letting him die would be letting a not-so-little part of myself die with him.

But hey, no worries right? I mean I'd only lost my best friend and my grandfather (_again_) one after the other in quick succession. I'd only been rudely awakened to the fact that my entire existence was built on lie after despicable lie. I'd only discovered that the people who meant the most to me had kept important information from me for seven long years. And Deidara was only my first love, destined to die before we even had a chance to try for anything _close_ to a relationship. Still... it wasn't as if _I_ was dying; I had no right to complain. I had no right to moan about my lot in life because at least I still _had_ my life, right? _Right_?!

Except it _wasn't _right. How could it be? Everything else was a goddamn falsity – why couldn't my philosophy be the same? I'd followed it blindly all these years, believing that no matter how bad things got there would always be a light at the end of the tunnel. If I was alive, the worst hadn't happened, and if the worst hadn't happened I was pretty damn lucky; that's what I thought. But I was wrong. So utterly, dead _wrong_.

Be honest – would any of _you_ say I was lucky? Do any of _you_ think my philosophy could possibly still be right when the truth was I'd died in all but body? No, I didn't think so.

So that was it then. I was an empty shell of a person now. Or would be after Deidara's execution. I didn't have my Gramp's teachings; I didn't have my best friend's shoulder; and soon, I wouldn't have my kidnapper's love (which, yes, I realise sounds weird). The three things I lived for were gone or going, my philosophy along with them. Yes, I still had my mother. I still had my other friends and my village and my life. But, sad and awful as it sounds, that just wasn't enough anymore. Those things didn't even equate to _one_ of my existence's three reasons for being.

But what could I do? I'd made my bed – had had it made _for_ me, in fact, but that hardly made any difference – and now I had to lie in it. No matter how painful it was, I had to accept my place in the world. Besides, I could get over it with time, right? I could struggle on, rebuild what was left, and who knew? In time I might even be able to be happy again. It would be hard – the things worth doing in life often were – but I could do it. I was _sure_ I could. I'd survived over a month of captivity with Akatsuki; I could sure as hell survive this.

It's not like there were any other options anyway...

/\

Night time. The part of the twenty-four hour period known as a 'day' when the sunlight has been replaced with darkness or, if the conditions are right (which they presently weren't), moonlight. Day's end. The time most humans gave over to slumber. I could think of a million different ways to describe the deep, penetrating dark that had settled over Waterfall village, but each one made me feel worse than the last.

I'm not going to lie; not even for the sake of a poetic and spiritually pleasing metaphor. The night didn't bring me any more peace than the day had, and even though the view I had spread before me was gorgeous beyond compare (the rushing, cascading waterfall thundering into the basin below, reminding me painfully of the glade where I'd left Hiroshi; the forest, thick and dark and mysterious like something from a fairytale; the sky, moonless but star-dusted, a jewel encrusted pillow of ebony velvet) I felt suppressed. It was quiet, yes, and that was a small measure of relief after a day under my mother's watchful eye, our door constantly barraged with well-wishers and people offering condolences for Hiroshi, but it made no difference. I still felt boxed in; weighed down by invisible demons clawing at my flesh relentlessly. And nothing and no one could understand that.

Not that they hadn't tried, I'll say that for them.

Among the droves of sympathizers were a few old friends of mine from the Academy: Katia, Mei and Budon. None of them had become genin when we all graduated, their team having failed the final test (quite spectacularly I'm told), but we'd kept in touch on occasion – the three of them ran a rather nice little café together and that's where Hiroshi, Naoku and I had based ourselves in our free time. They'd expressed their apologies, telling me how much they admired my strength of spirit and determination (but oh! If only they knew the half of it), and before leaving had insisted that if I wanted to talk I could come to the café for free tea and dango. Naturally I'd thanked them for their courtesy, but in my head I'd snorted; the kind of things I could tell them would give them all nightmares for weeks! I might even have pointed this out to them but, looking at their open, honest faces, I couldn't find it in me to be that horrible. Not even when the days were slowly eroding me away like the sea on the cliffs.

I could scarcely believe it had only been five days – not even a week – since Deidara had been dragged off. I'd thought of him (and of course of Hiroshi) non-stop every second that passed and honestly, I didn't know how much longer I could take it. Five more days of this and I'd be as insane as my lunatic grandfather. They say time is a great healer, and I for one believe that wholeheartedly. My only qualm was that it was an incredibly_ slow_ healer. It was probably a clumsy healer too; I was definitely gonna have a scar when it was done.

With a sigh – the only thing I seemed able to do anymore – I turned away and headed back down the incline towards the woods where Hiroshi and I had played as children. The place we'd met on that lonesome summer's day, where I saw him cry for the first (but certainly not the last) time. 'Our Place' was in those woods. That special glade that belonged just to us, though now I supposed it belonged just to me. What a sad, desolate thought...

On an impulse I decided to have a look at 'Our Place' – to remember the good times and try to lose myself in the memories, despite the pain I knew they would bring when I eventually awoke to myself. A small price, I felt, for the temporary reprieve it would provide.

Angling towards it almost unconsciously, the way known to me more clearly than I knew the back of my own hand, I noted with absent amusement that it had always been like this – me knowing exactly which direction it was in no matter where I was. I was like a compass and 'Our Place' was my North, as well it might be considering I'd spent more time there during my childhood than I'd spent in my own home.

I bent my head right back on my neck, craning to see the starlit sky high above through the foreboding canopy of thick foliage. It was certainly a pleasant night, I couldn't deny that. Maybe I would camp out tonight; sleep in the meadow that held the happiest of my memories. Mother would wake up worried about me – she didn't even know I was out at this hour, which was the way I liked it – but I was sure I could explain things in detail later. Well, maybe not in detail. She had enough on her plate without knowing her daughter was a raging psychopath.

I had just passed the tree line into the quiet tranquillity of 'Our Place' – heart full to bursting as the familiarity hit me like a tonne of bricks – when I froze in shock and terror, with the strangest undercurrent of delight. Adrenaline surged through me like a hard kick of coffee and my senses spiked to their ultimate sensitivity, alerting me to a fuller, clearer perception of the innocent-looking clearing.

I wasn't alone.

The knowledge came as suddenly and unexpectedly as a slap in the face, and I was left reeling from the possibilities.

Who could it be? Naoku? I doubted it. He hadn't spoken to me in all the time I'd been home, and knowing him and his stubborn pig-headedness like I did, I didn't see him breaking that trend any time soon.

More terrifying (and probable) a possibility was that one or more of the Akatsuki were about to show their ugly mugs – Tsukai had definitely gone after them and I'd known it wouldn't take her long to dig them up. In fact, now that I thought about it, it was the _only_ possibility. And I was glad. Frozen with dread, but glad nonetheless. Deidara would be saved and I wouldn't have to live with my misery any more. Death would be my release from this horrible self-inflicted purgatory.

Death would be my redemption.

I turned around slowly – not for dramatic effect, like you read in novels and such, but because my feet were suddenly heavier than the rest of me – expecting at any moment to be killed without preamble or worse, faced with a very long and scarring jaunt in Itachi's Tsukiyomi. I tried to repress the shiver tingling up my spine at that morbid thought and failed utterly. Praying it was the former, I hesitantly raised my eyes to meet the gaze of my murderer-to-be...

And came face to face with someone I had _not_ expected to see.

"Tsukai?" I gasped, stunned by her presence as much as by the dishevelled state of her. And I thought _I_ looked bad this morning... I was pretty well-groomed in comparison to the sorry sight Tsukai provided.

"_Please_, Mizuko. I'm begging you here... Please... _help him!_" Tsukai pleaded, forgoing all pleasantries. Her voice, usually so soft and consoling, was close to breaking; her eyes glassy with distress and brimming with helpless tears. And – unless I was much mistaken – the dark shadows under her eyes were the bags from five nights' worth of sleepless worrying.

She'd cried already, I knew – I could see it in every feature on her face, as if her former beauty was now but a shattered mask. Her eyes, under the blackened circles, were red and puffy, her skin blotched from wetness that had been left to dry by itself; her nose was raw, the skin around her nostrils starting to flake no doubt from being wiped so much; but worst of all were the worry lines on her previously flawless skin, permanently ingrained around her eyes and lips as a lasting testament to her anguish these past days.

I'd never seen her like this before... I was sure no one had, not even that sadomasochist priest of hers. Her peculiar red-purple pupils, normally so full of light and cheer, were dull and heartrendingly beseeching, an almost crazy spark to her desperation glimmering in their depths. Her light blonde hair which I'd always admired for it's healthy sheen and perfect styler was awry and lank and I couldn't help but pity the pathetic mess she'd become.

But there was nothing I could do – what she asked was impossible. The ramifications of assisting him would be catastrophic and I couldn't let myself throw away what little I had left for his sake. Maybe I was being selfish but after all I'd been through was that really so bad? If I went ahead and helped him I would be marked a traitor to my village, would have to go on the run and would – in all likelihood – end up in the hands of Akatsuki again, where I would most certainly die this time. I'd endured countless hurts, both emotional and physical in my captivity, so wasn't it about time I thought about myself for a change? Wasn't it okay for me to want something for _me_?

The logical answer was 'yes'. Of course it was alright and no one could deny that fact. The problem was, what I wanted wasn't what I _should_ want. I don't know what frightened me more: the fact that a larger part of me would be all to happy to give everything up for Deidara or the fact that despite that, I wasn't going to do it. Both thoughts terrified me because both required me to relinquish my hold on something dear. It was all a question of which, and in the end it wasn't even really a question; I'd decided long ago which path I was going to take and despite all my indecision _now_, I was going to stick to it.

"I'm sorry, Tsukai." I whispered hoarsely – I knew what I was about to say would condemn him, knew that with the words I uttered next he would be executed for sure, and it tore me apart inside. But this was something I had to do if I wanted any chance to salvage the pieces of my broken soul. I'd lost two of the people who'd meant the most to me in the world in the space of a week; one of whom I'd lost already in the past. Surely that entitled me to at least _try _to rebuild my almost meaningless existence. Even if that existence had to be _without_ Deidara. "I won't help you. I'm not going to change my mind on this one. Deidara took some one precious from me – now he has to pay."

Her absolute disbelief at my seemingly heartless comment cut deep; deeper than I could ever allow her to see. Her jaw dropped, eyes widening and beginning to well with hopeless sorrow, and I could see she was already mourning – not just for her doomed brother but for _me_ as well. In her eyes I was as dead as Deidara would soon be and I supposed that it wasn't all that far from the truth. I hadn't quite been myself since Hiroshi's death; doubted I could ever be that girl again. But that was to be expected I guess. I was simply learning the lesson I _should_ have learned a long time ago – _no one_ is immune to misfortune.

"How can you be so _callous_?" she cried, unadulterated hurt making her voice raise several decibels.

I didn't reply; I _couldn't_. What could I possibly say that would justify my decision to her? It was better for her – for us both – if she didn't know the sheer agony the choice caused me. Better for her to think I abandoned him in cold blood than to try and understand something even _I _didn't fully comprehend. Besides, I didn't want to give her the chance to sway me.

"How can you sit there, _knowing Deidara is going to be executed_, and not do anything to stop it? He _loves_ you, Mizuko. He wants nothing more than to be with you and make you happy and you're just going to let him die!" Tsukai accused, wiping her eyes furiously. I wondered how she knew such things but of course I already had the answer; they were twins. I don't know if twin telepathy works but surely, being as close as they were, Tsukai would be able to read her brother's emotions like a book.

I swallowed hard but it hurt as if I'd swallowed a million razor blades. Why did this have to be so hard? I was doing fine until Tsukai showed up (well, not _fine_, but well enough); thought I might've even been able to hold on to myself all the way through the execution, as was expected of me. I could cry inconsolably – as I knew I _would_ – when it was over and I was alone, and the tears that would undoubtedly escape in public I could blame on missing Hiroshi so much. No one in the village except Naoku need ever know what had transpired between Deidara and I. But now I felt like my mask was crumbling already and it hadn't been all that great to begin with. It was like he was already gone. I was grieving prematurely.

"He took my best friend from me, Tsukai. He killed the closest thing to a brother I've ever had and I want retribution. That's why I _won't_ help him, regardless of any feelings I might once have had for him." I replied in a semi-calm, detached tone. No one who didn't know me well enough could tell how much I was aching inside. Heck, I was willing to bet my own mother wouldn't know how I felt. But the look Tsukai gave me told me she saw straight through my lies.

"Don't give me that! You don't blame Deidara for the death of your friend and we both know it. I _saw_ you back then and I _saw_ the way you acted – you didn't _treat_ him like the man who'd killed your brother." Tsukai retorted.

She was right of course. In the brief time I'd spent with Deidara after arriving back home, I'd never once blamed him for what happened – at least not directly. I blamed Akatsuki itself. Through the haze of anguish Hiroshi's passing had wrought, I harboured a deep resentment for the criminal gang and by extension Deidara, in a warped, disconnected way; but that hadn't stopped me caring for him. It hadn't stopped me _loving_ him. It still didn't.

But for the greater good, Tsukai had to _think_ it had.

"You're right; I've never blamed Deidara. Not by himself in any case. I blame Akatsuki as a whole." I explained hollowly. It was best to incorporate as much truth into my words as I could – it added the authenticity I'd need to make her believe me. "I blame Akatsuki for kidnapping me in the first place and making it necessary for Hiroshi to die. I blame my village for not sending help when I needed it. But most of all I blame myself for not accepting defeat and killing myself before Hiroshi could get involved." I licked my lips, which had suddenly become very dry, before adding in a bitterly cynical voice: "It's what _Gramps_ would have done."

It seemed that Tsukai could think of nothing to say to that because the fact was, it was completely true. And she knew it. I believed every word I had just spoken and I'd said it with the appropriate conviction to prove it. Thus she was reduced to begging once again, a condition that didn't suit her at all.

"_Please_... I know you're suffering but... _please _help him_._" she whimpered, reaching for my hands. I allowed her to grasp them, looking down at her and keeping the emotion off my face with a supreme effort. She was shaking, the hands which had healed so many, now weak and frail. I could see this whole situation was taking a lot out of her and it pained me to see her this way. "I can't do it myself and Akatsuki... they won't help me this time. I've seen ninja prisons before... I _can't_ do this alone. I need you; _Deidara _needs you. You're his only hope. Please don't let him die... Please don't let me lose him again_._"

She held my gaze as though trying to hypnotise me and I found it incredibly hard to refuse her. But I had to say no; I _had_ to. And so, although doing so was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, I shook my head slowly and murmured the monosyllabic, two-letter word that broke my heart into a thousand irredeemable pieces all over again. "_No_."

Tsukai broke down and I knew that as soon as there was no one to witness it, I would too. I would sob over my lost love and I would curse myself for years to come. But deep down – _way_ deep – I believed I was doing the right thing. I was doing what was best.

I wanted to believe that. I really, truly wanted to. But even in my own head it sounded tinny and false.

She fell to her knees and screamed into the night, obscuring the mournful hoot of a nearby owl and the steady, peaceful chirping of crickets. The trees blew in the wind, carrying her desolate wail through the clearing and – as horrid as I felt for doing it – I turned to leave with it. Being near her was cracking my composure. I needed to be strong. For my village... For myself... For Hiroshi...

The question was, was being strong worth it? Did it really matter anymore?

I drifted to the edge of mine and Hiroshi's 'Our Place' – which, in light of recent events, was now just 'My Place' – in a state somewhere between feeling and unfeeling. The frigid air on my face was cool and refreshing; the crunching leaves beneath my feet were crisp; the scratching thorn bushes were itchy against my bare calves; but on the inside I was impervious. I had sensation but no _feeling_ – not sadness nor fear, not hope nor love. It was as though my emotions had died and in a way that would be a blessing. But I knew the much more terrible truth – I would experience those absent emotions a hundred fold later, when the shock of Tsukai's appearance wore off. I would pay in full later.

Perhaps luckily, I didn't get to spend much more time pondering the matter. The primal instinct which forewarned me of danger kicked in and I halted in my tracks with a jerky start, stunned. Even as poor a Shinobi as I was, I was still capable of employing the basic ninja skills – the almost supernaturalistic ability to detect a threat on my life being among the more useful of the bunch, especially considering my outstanding reputation as Akatsuki's most wanted.

My eyes, which had widened to the size of saucers, gradually relaxed back to normal and my slightly agape mouth shut itself silently. A small smile, humourless and grim, played at the corners of my lips.

"How unlike you, Tsukai. Using violence to get what you want? You're more like your brother than I thought." I said morosely, sad smile still hovering just beyond the edges of being. I tried to phrase my statement as an insult, in keeping with my aim to make her believe I'd forsaken Deidara, but the effect was less than impressive given my profound lack of sarcasm; I wondered briefly if perhaps I'd lost the knowledge how to use it.

"I... I can't let you do this, Mizuko." Tsukai croaked, a hysterical edge to her voice that had never before been there in all the time I'd known her. The kunai she held but a hair's breadth from my throat was quivering, a fact I tried not to dwell on too closely, and I noted with a certain morbidity that a tiny slip on her part could end all my problems so easily. All it would take is the slightest wrong move and I wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore.

But that was the rationale of a quitter. Of a weakling. And I may be a lot of things, but a coward wasn't one of them.

"Go ahead then. Do it, if you can. End my life here and now if you think you have what it takes." I provoked, staying stock still.

She wouldn't do it. I knew Tsukai well enough and I knew she was incapable of killing someone – _anyone – _without a real reason. Like any human being she especially couldn't harm her friends, a category I'd fallen into a long time ago in spite of my better judgement. Then again, there were a lot of things I'd done recently that had been against my better judgement.

"_Please_!" she practically screamed at me, ignoring my taunts the way I'd known she would. Nevertheless, I felt the knife slide an inch closer in her despair, drawing the tiniest bead of blood as I swallowed hard against it's unforgiving edge. "He's my brother, Mizuko. I lost him once before and I... I _can't_ lose him again. I can't do it; I just _can't_!" she sobbed.

Careful to avoid accidentally cutting myself on Tsukai's deadly weapon – although but for my pride it would seem like the lesser of two evils – I twisted out of her grip and faced her with what I hoped was a carefully blank expression. The tears fell from her chin relentlessly and her eyes were puffy and raw, more so than they had been before. My heart did a painful tug at the sight and I had to blink furiously to keep my own tears back.

"Please help me..." she whispered in a choked little voice that I barely caught. "I'll do anything. Anything you want. Just name it."

I shook my head again, though this time it was through disbelief rather than refusal. She was willing to do '_anything_'? '_Anything_' to save the brother who'd abandoned her without a backwards glance all those years ago? '_Anything_' to save the brother who would likely sell her down the river if it was in his best interests? That was sisterly love for you, I guess. It was... well it was nothing short of amazing, to be honest; all the things wrong in her life that she could, should she choose to, blame on him, yet she still loved him enough to risk _everything_ for him. And I suppose I could understand it to a point – it was the same dedication I'd afforded Hiroshi, who was the closest thing I had to a brother of my own.

And it was then that I _truly_ understood how Tsukai must feel. It was probably pretty close to what I was feeling. Worse even, because she knew she still had a _chance_ to save him, and each second she wasted was letting it slip further and further away. I'd already lost _my_ brother – he wasn't, at this very moment, being tortured in any number of dreadful ways for information he wouldn't provide even at the cost of his life (and rightly so in my opinion. What he was enduring now would be awful, but compared to the kind of things Akatsuki could do if they found out he'd betrayed them, he was getting off lightly). But Tsukai's brother still had a chance. He still had the hope – if not the surety – of being saved, and to know that must be hard for her to bear.

As I looked deep into her eyes, into the hidden core of her desolation, I came to the conclusion that I _had_ to help her. I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't. The knowledge that I'd have sentenced Deidara to death would be bad enough, but the fact that I'd sentenced Tsukai to a torment like mine would be even worse. No one should have to feel the way I did. _No one. _I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

But what could I do? I couldn't very well storm the prison; I'd find myself in a cell of my own if did that. And what I'd been telling myself all along still stood; I couldn't give everything up for the sake of one man. So what then? What could I do to free him without killed or imprisoned in the process? How could I win without having to lose?

That's when inspiration struck.

Perhaps – and this was just theoretical – there _was_ a way to save Deidara without having to give anything up. Saving him didn't have to equal becoming a fugitive; not if I didn't get caught. And I didn't _have_ to get caught, especially if – strictly speaking – I wasn't actually involved. I could work behind the scenes. I knew enough from my Academy days and from personal experience about the Waterfall's top security prison – I could provide Tsukai with information to get her in and out before anyone even knew what was going on. And in return...

"Alright." I said quietly, nodding slowly as the plan refined itself in my head. "Alright, I'll help. But in return I want you to take Deidara and leave the village immediately. Then I don't ever want to see or hear from either of you ever again."

There was no hesitation; she agreed vigorously to my proposal and the blissful relief that crossed her face was like a soothing ointment on my decimated heart. I almost – but not quite – smiled a true smile then. But of course, what I was doing was still considered treason so there was really no cause for smiles. I held my peace while she thanked me, wondering about things that didn't bear thinking about.

Like what if Naoku guessed what had happened when morning rolled by and he discovered the prisoner had escaped? And what if this was all for nothing and Tsukai got apprehended and killed too? Or what if somewhere down the line Deidara got recaptured and died anyway? But the biggest, most frightening 'what if' was this: what if just knowing he was alive wasn't enough for me anymore? What if freeing him didn't ease the pain I felt and I kept feeling this way even when he was gone? Was I doomed to spend the rest of my days hurting?

_Then I'll just have to hurt and get on with it_. I answered my own question.

"I mean it Tsukai." I told her resolutely. "After tonight I want nothing more to do with you, him, Akatsuki or anything remotely Shinobi-like. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes. Yes, I understand. And thank you, Mizuko. Thank you _so_ much. I honestly can't tell you how much this means to me." she breathed, taking my hands in hers and squeezing them gratefully, wiping her eyes on the hem of her sleeve – which, I noted, was already damp and stained with greasy-looking blotches.

"Okay." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Here's the plan. You've got to get in and out quickly, preferably without being seen-,"

"Wait – you're not coming with me?"

"I _can't_ Tsukai. You might not believe me when I say I have a life here but I do. This is my village; my home. Deidara... he... well, he just doesn't mean enough for me to leave all that behind." _Well said. Now if only I could believe it..._

Tsukai didn't reply. Not in words at any rate. But the look on her face said it all. She didn't believe my words anymore than I did and I reckon the only reason she didn't say so is because she knew my willingness to help wasn't concrete. Better to keep her counsel than to argue and risk me leaving.

I sighed wearily. I just wanted this whole thing over with so I could get on with my life. No need to mention that I wasn't _wholly_ convinced that could ever happen...

"As I was saying, ideally we want you to get in and out without any witnesses. There are four squads of ANBU on patrol around the place so your best bet is to take the side entrance by the cliff. It's wrecked and derelict so getting in might be tough, but they only check it once every two hours..."

/\

Sitting back on the cliff with the music of the waterfall ringing in my ears, I wondered how long Tsukai had been gone. It seemed like an age and more had passed since I bade her good luck in the comforting confines of mine and Hiroshi's 'Our Place'. It couldn't have been too long. Surely no more than half an hour at most. Even so, I was growing worried. Had something gone wrong? Had she gotten lost? Had the ANBU caught her? Or was she still searching in vain for Deidara's cell? I hadn't known _exactly_ which cell they'd be keeping him in – or even if the prison I _thought_ he was in was the right one, for that matter. It seemed a given that they'd hold an Akatsuki member in the maximum security prison but what if I was wrong? Was it already too late to save Deidara? Had I sent Tsukai to her demise too?

No! I couldn't let myself think like that. I couldn't dwell on 'what if''s all the time. I was driving myself insane! I needed to focus on the here and now and just do the best I could as the situation dictated. Besides, I was sure I'd have known by now if Tsukai had run in to trouble. I'd _definitely _hear a commotion from here if one started. Thus far, the most disconcerting sound I heard was the occasional triumphant hoot of a hunting owl.

Strictly speaking, my part was over. I'd told Tsukai everything I could that might help her and then some. What she did with that information was her business and whether or not she succeeded was none of my concern. At least it shouldn't be. Even if she failed, it would be her fault not mine, so I shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. I'd played my part perfectly – I'd done everything I could. Sticking around would achieve nothing. I understood that.

But the truth was, I couldn't resist the promise of seeing Deidara again. I couldn't leave until I'd seen him safe and sound with my own two eyes. Until I'd touched his face one last time; seen his playful blue eyes and cocky, boyish grin. I couldn't leave until I'd breathed in his intoxicating smell, that delicious scent that smelt more and more like 'home' to me these days. Not the home I'd known before, where my mother cooked dinner and Lord Shibuki issued my marching orders and Hiroshi co-conspired the world's best pranks with me; my _real_ home. The place I belonged.

"Mizuko! Help me, quick!"

I spun on my heel just in time to see Tsukai stagger through the fringe of deep green. For one truly horrifying moment I thought she was injured and – _worse_ – that she'd failed to save Deidara. Shadowed in the protective limbs of the trees she was shapeless black hulk, and my mind's eye pictured her hunched over, clutching at a wound in her abdomen. I don't know what made me feel worse – the fact that she was hurt or the fact that she didn't have Deidara with her. I took a hasty step towards her, my eyes starting to burn; a sensation all too familiar to me by this point.

But as she stepped in to dim light of the twinkling stars I realised I'd been premature with my panic.

One arm draped around his sister's neck, dragging his feet and clearly weighing poor Tsukai down, Deidara hobbled (not, I realise, the most dignified of ways to describe his movement, but the most accurate) into the open air. The second I caught the glint of bright blonde I was striding towards him, a cocktail of emotions thundering through my veins, making me dizzy; overwhelming love and adoration, relief, excitement, a sadness so deep I thought I would drown... and anger. I was furious. Furious with myself for what I almost let happen – it was easy to forget all the reasons I'd been holding on to when I had him here in front of me. A chesty laugh slipped from my lips and I imagined wrapping my arms around him tightly, holding him close and never letting go. It didn't matter about everything else. I _wanted_ him. _Needed_ him.

Then I got a good look at him and lurched to a stop, sucking in air so hard I nearly choked, emotion spilling over in salty vengeance. I shuddered as Tsukai continued to struggle under his weight, dragging him closer in slow, tortured bursts, his head bowed low and eyes drooping closed. It was like a scene straight out of my nightmares. Horrible as it sounds, not even the genjutsu Itachi had worked on me could compare to _this_.

His left arm – the one not coiled around Tsukai's neck – dangled limply by his side, and even from this distance I could see the rusty brownish-red of dried blood on his fingers. His cloak was nowhere to be seen – probably taken from him in the course of his interrogation – and I figured Tsukai hadn't bothered looking for it before getting him out of there. Looking at him now I truly wished she had.

Through the net shirt I could see a festering sore that I recognised from 'Punishment Studies' back at the Academy. If memory served, it was the result of a torture method developed by a member of our own Punishment force, and most effective for long-term interrogation. What they did was make a small incision in the victim's stomach – barely a paper-cut really – then purposefully introduced a colony of flesh-eating bacteria to the wound, triggering a particularly nasty infection which would cause the afflicted immense pain before they eventually died. However, for the people subjected to this as a form of torture, death was continually prevented through carefully controlled medical treatment.

Deidara looked up at me then and the horror continued. His right eye was swollen shut and his face was a patchwork of dark, violent purple and sickly yellow bruises, some bigger than my fist. His upper lip was split and puffy, his left cheek sporting a small cut the size of a thumbnail... But the worst thing of all, the very _worst_ thing I could possibly have seen that night, was his attempt at a smile. Despite the fact that it was _my_ fault, despite the torment he must have endured on _my_ account, he was still trying to smile at me. As if I were a sight for sore eyes. As if I was something he was _glad_ to see. It was too painful for words.

A lump blocked my throat, swelling as the tears continued to fall. I could barely breathe, my heart constricting tightly in my chest and blocking my airways – it felt like I was dying from the inside out.

I quickly lowered my gaze, not wanting to look at him any longer. Not wanting to see that smile, or the pleasure in his one open blue eye. Not wanting to know that he _loved_ me; because there could no longer be any doubt of that... I could see it in the way he looked at me, in the way the atmosphere sparked with his devotion just at the sight of me. And I knew I didn't deserve it.

"Mizuko! _Help_!" Tsukai insisted, exasperated voice finally penetrating my terrified trance. I jerked forward and hastily pulled Deidara's other arm around my neck, averting my gaze and trying my best to ignore his grunt of pain.

Together Tsukai and I were able to prop him against a large rock near the river bank. He seemed completely incapable of balancing himself, and it took several tries before we finally managed to get him sitting without falling to either side. As soon as we ascertained he was sitting comfortably – or as comfortably as was possible under the circumstances – I wandered off to the precipice where I'd been sitting prior to their arrival, watching intently as the river fed itself into the waterfall of my village's namesake. Tsukai went about healing her brother with all the skill I'd come to respect in her, and for a while all was quiet but for the cascading waterfall.

I tried not to think of anything in particular as I stood there looking out at the horizon, but of course that was impossible. Every time I thought I had my head cleared and empty of the dark musings, they would sneak up on me like a snake wrapping itself around it's prey. I could think of nothing good in those moments. Nothing that did me or anyone else any good whatsoever. I remembered how I'd flipped him over my head and held him down for the ANBU to collect. And how I'd went _five whole days_ without lifting a finger to help him. And although I knew those thoughts would do me no good – that they were eating away at the edges of my mind like the flesh-eating bacteria ate away at Deidara – I couldn't seem to hold them off for very long.

"Mizuko, I'm done." Tsukai whispered beside me at last. I started. I hadn't heard her approach. "I've healed the worst of it but his left arm is broken beyond my ability to fix right. I've set it so it'll heal alright with time, but if I do anything more I could damage it to the point of no return. The infection is gone and there's only a few of the older bruises left on his face – I didn't see the point in doing anything to them when they were healing fine by themselves. But-,"

She hesitated.

"What is it? What's the matter?" I asked softly, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

"Well... They... I _think_ they 'Devil Marked' him." At my blank expression she rushed on to explain. "In the old days, when the common populace thought ninja arts were witchcraft or 'demon given gifts', they had a particular method of punishment on the off chance they actually caught a ninja. They would repeatedly stab a needle into the poor victim's flesh all over his or her body, until eventually their bodies became numb and they stopped screaming when the needle entered. They believed it was the only way to eradicate the 'Devil's' hold on the shinobi and indeed, by the time it was over the ninja could no longer perform any jutsu due to the damage inflicted on their chakra network. It's a practice used only in the torture and interrogation units of ninja villages these days, but because the numbness of body and total destruction of the chakra network is often accompanied by a loss of sanity, interrogators never continue it to that point – it would defy the point of the exercise, which is to gather intel. Deidara will recover with time but his body is going to be extremely sensitive for a long while."

I was appalled. Totally repulsed. That something _that_ inhuman could take place in my own village without me knowing about it frightened me. I mean, they actually _did_ that to people? It was disgusting – absolutely deplorable! I had to turn my entire focus on Tsukai's next words to avoid being sick.

"He's resting now." she informed, pointing over her shoulder to his slumped form. "He told me they took his clay; he overheard them saying something about storing it in the guardroom. I need to go back and get it so he can make us a bird to get out of here on. Will you stay and watch over him for me? I won't take more than twenty minutes, I promise."

"Tsukai..." I objected forlornly, looking away. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

It wasn't _everything_ I thought on the matter but it was as much as I was willing to give her. The truth was I would be _thrilled_ to have some alone time with Deidara before we parted ways for good. But there was a part of me that was so acutely abhorred by the things he'd endured, things _I_ had allowed to happen, that I didn't know if I could stand it. To have him smile at me or tell me things my heart couldn't bear to hear... I couldn't withstand that and come out again in one piece.

"Please Mizuko. You've done a lot for me already but I _have_ to ask this one last thing of you. I can't carry him away by myself and he's too weak to walk. We _need_ that clay."

"I...I..." I made the mistake of glancing over at Deidara and saw that he was watching me through half-lidded eyes, smiling warmly if a little wearily. Before I could give myself time to argue I nodded, taken off guard by the vulnerability I saw in him. "Sure, okay. But be quick."

I didn't have to tell her twice. She was gone in the blink of an eye, at a speed that would have made her ninja ancestors proud.

Hesitantly, afraid of things I couldn't even put name to, I approached Deidara with the wary caution of a lamb approaching a lion. When he shifted slightly, turning to look at me properly, I flinched as though he'd slapped me – the passion of his stare was like a weight on my shoulders, pressing me down into the dirt where I belonged. How could he stand to allow me anywhere near him after what I'd done? Or _hadn't_ done, as the case was.

At my obvious discomfort, Deidara gave a little laugh – a mere shadow of the mocking chuckles he usually favoured. It made my stomach twist painfully and I looked away, ashamed, even as a coil of excitement unfurled in my chest at the sound of his voice.

"Shy? You? Never thought I'd see the day, un." he joked, reminding me of warm days spent arguing back and forth about silly little things that didn't matter, and cool nights under the stars discussing topics deeper and more emotive than they really ought to have been.

I bit my lip as the tears brimmed once more. He was joking? In _that_ state? There was nothing to laugh about here. Nothing in this whole situation was even slightly funny. I decided to keep my mouth shut – I couldn't think of anything to say anyway but even if I could, my composure couldn't possibly hold up long enough for me to say it.

"C'mon, Mizuko. _Talk_ to me, un." Deidara pleaded, clearly reading my thoughts in the expression I wore. He was too damn good at reading me for his own good, and I cursed ever having let that become so. Things would be easier if he just stayed quiet and let me be. If he just waited till Tsukai came back and left without a backwards glance.

I turned to face him at last and saw that Tsukai had been telling the truth. His face, for as messed up as it had been, was almost as flawless as it was before this mess started. A few yellowed bruises here and there but other than that...

"There's nothing to say." I whispered. I hadn't _meant_ to say anything. But looking at him loosened my resolve and I found myself saying it anyway – if only to boycott any further pleas.

"Sure there is, un. A simple hello would suffice." he chuckled, wincing as the movement jarred his bad arm. Tsukai had tied it up in a sling and it lay horizontally across his chest – a barrier between myself and his heart, which lay beneath. And I couldn't help but reflect that perhaps it was safer that way.

I said nothing as I took a seat opposite him, legs crossed, head bowed in shame. I couldn't stand to look at him. Not when what I saw there was so... so _open. _We sat that way for a good five minutes or more, Deidara looking at me and me looking at my feet, until at last, Deidara decided to try his hand at conversation again.

"I know what you're thinking, un." he began conversationally. "You think this is your fault. You think I ended up this way because of you." He paused, monitoring my reaction. When I didn't reply he continued. "It's not, you know, un. This is no one's fault but mine."

"Don't." I croaked, wrapping my arms about my shoulders for the little solace they could provide. "Don't try to make me feel better about this Deidara. And _don't _blame yourself. It _is_ my fault. I practically handed you over on a plate. And now you... you... well, just look at you!"

"Maybe." he conceded, nodding sagely. "But _I'm _the criminal here, Mizuko, not you, un. What I went through back there... it was always a risk I took in my line of work."

"Yeah but if it hadn't been for me you'd have gotten away!" I wailed, crying for the umpteenth time that night. I definitely wasn't enjoying the whole damsel in distress thing. It didn't suit me at all. But I just couldn't seem to help it. "You'd have left and there wouldn't have been a problem!"

"Come here, un." he said, reaching out his good arm and moving his bandaged arm as far as he could to create space for me. Surprising myself, I moved into the warmth of his embrace with no uncertainty – by the time I realised what I was doing I was already trapped against his hard chest, his good arm wrapped around my waist, massaging my hand.

"This isn't your fault. _I_ kidnapped _you_, remember? _I _fell for _you, _un. I chose this. I took this punishment willingly." he murmured against the crown of my head, leaving a trail of soft, comforting kisses over my cranium.

I fisted my hand in the fabric of his shirt, pushing my face flush against him as I fought the rising tears. I hated being so weak – hated that I was so frail and weepy and, dare I say it, _womanish. _I didn't deserve Deidara's understanding. I didn't deserve for him to comfort me when I'd made his life a misery since day one. He should shout at me, hate me, call me all the horrible names I kept calling myself... But he wouldn't. He would never do that and in some ways, that made everything worse.

"Come with me, Mizuko." he muttered suddenly, making my skull vibrate with his deep, warm voice. "Leave Waterfall Village with me, un. We could run away together; go into hiding. Just you and me."

"_What_?"

I couldn't _believe_ he'd asked such a thing. It was ludicrous! Utterly ridiculous! There was no way I could do something like that! Surely he knew that. Surely he _knew_ I couldn't leave Waterfall Village. It was impossible...

...Or was it?

Could I really do it? I'd never at any point really considered running away with Deidara before. I'd always assumed that no matter what happened, he would always end up returning to Akatsuki or else dead. The truth was, the only options I'd really explored were living _in_ the village without Deidara or dying _outside_ the village without Deidara. There hadn't been a chance of being _with_ Deidara, no matter what I did. But he was here, offering me that very opportunity – offering me the thing I wanted the very most. Could I? _Would _I?

Abruptly I stood, knocking Deidara's arms away in my hurry to escape his claustrophobic clutches. I backed away slowly, shaking my head at him, eyes wide and panicked and frightened, not at what he was offering but at the deep longing I had to just say _yes_. I couldn't allow it. Couldn't let myself betray my village the same way my grandfather did. I was a loyal shinobi. I was _loyal_ and I wouldn't let my grandfather's legacy become my own.

Without a word I turned and ran, into the woods and away from everything I wanted. I didn't listen when Deidara yelled for me to come back. If I _did_, I'd end up going back and that would mean submitting to the Hidden Waterfall's enemies._ My _enemies. It wasn't fair that things had to be this way but they were, and the sooner I accepted that the better off I'd be.

I hadn't gone too far when I stopped running – I hadn't even made it to 'Our Place', which was less than half a mile from waterfall rock. I didn't stop because I was having second thoughts (which were really the only kind of thoughts I _was_ having, though I was doing my utmost to ignore them). It wasn't even because I'd run out of energy and couldn't run anymore.

It was because Naoku stood between me and the village.

Arms folded across his chest, frown firmly in place, he eyed be with something between disapproval and resignation. It was obvious just looking at that sour expression that he knew. And I mean _knew_ knew – there was no doubt in my mind that he had figured everything out, from my attachment to Deidara to the fact that I'd been behind the jailbreak – or at _least_ involved somehow. And by the looks of things, he was _not_ amused by it. Not one little bit.

Before I could say anything – before I even had a chance to gather my wits about me – he opened what was sure to be the most difficult, awkward conversation of my life with:

"So... I guess it's true then, huh?"

I considered denying it; saying I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. But I figured it was pointless when the evidence was as plain as the nose on my face. Naoku was a smart guy – even if my feelings hadn't been clear as day at this point, he'd be able to tell I was lying. So I just told the truth.

"Yeah," I said hoarsely, looking him right in the eye as I spoke. "Yeah, it's true. Now if you don't mind, I want to be alone for a while."

He watched me pass him silently, studying me at length before at last:

"You can't run away from this, Mizuko. Your problems aren't going to disappear. Stay. We need to talk."

I whirled on him. "No, Naoku, _we_ don't need to do anything because there's nothing to be done. It's over. I'm home, Deidara's free... things can go back to the way they were."

"If you leave, I'll go back there and drag him back to the prison myself." Naoku stated, not missing a beat.

That did the trick. I froze in place and waited for him to continue because no matter what, I couldn't let him take Deidara back to that place; not at any cost. But I vowed to myself silently that I would never forgive Naoku for putting me in this position. He was supposed to be my friend. My comrade. Yet here he was, getting what he wanted from me through emotional blackmail. It's not something I'd have expected from him.

"Face me, Mizuko."

I did as I was told and turned to meet his gaze, wondering if this night from hell was ever going to end. I was tired and weak and hurt and confused. I just wanted to curl up in bed and forget everything.

We stared each other down, both knowing that things would never be the same after this. Both knowing our friendship had reached an impasse that we might never move on from. I couldn't help but feel a flicker of woe at the notion, because it meant losing yet another precious person. I had few of those left to spare as it was.

At last Naoku sighed, reaching into his pocket at withdrawing a folded piece of paper, tied with what looked like a green ribbon. He tossed it to me and I caught it in my right hand, raising an eyebrow at him in question before examining the square of paper with a tired sort of interest. It had my name on it, written in a hand I recognised...

"It's a letter. From Hiroshi." Naoku explained, confirming my suspicions. I felt my heart drop into my shoes – was it possible? Could it be? "He gave it to me before I left with the information you gave us that time and told me to give it to you if he... Well, anyway, it's yours."

"What does it say?" I asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper. Naoku gave me a scathing look.

"I don't know. I don't read other people's letters."he frowned, adopting that '_duh_' tone of voice that used to drive Hiroshi nuts. "But I suspect it has something to do with the mess you've managed to get yourself into." he suggested, nodding in the direction Deidara was in. "Hiroshi couldn't tell his kunai from his shuriken, but I'll say this for him; he knew _you_ like he knew his own face in the mirror."

I nodded. That was true.

Hands trembling, I loosened the ribbon and unfolded the letter. I know it sounds silly but it felt like I'd reclaimed a tiny piece of my best friend. Like I was going to get the closure I needed to finally accept what had happened.

Heart pounding in my ears, I read Hiroshi's final testament to myself.

_Dear Mizu,_

_I really hope you don't get this letter, but if you do I guess it means a lot of things have changed recently. The most obvious change, the reason I'm writing this letter, being that I'm no longer alive... It's scary for me to think that might happen, but if it has there's a few things you need to know. Things I should've told you a long time ago; things you need to hear from me._

_We've been friends for a long time, haven't we? So you know I can read you like a book. Well Mizuko, I've been reading a lot lately and I don't like what I'm seeing. You've fallen for one of those Akatsuki guys, haven't you? I can see it in your eyes even if you're not openly admitting it to yourself yet. I won't lie, Mizu, that doesn't make me very happy. It's dangerous and it's going to cause you a whole load of trouble, even after I'm gone. It's also treason against the village – we both know that. But I want you to be happy and without me around you'll need someone else to lean on. So if you're reading this, I want you to do whatever it takes to make that happen. Don't worry about the village or anything like that – just do what makes you happy, 'kay? Consider it my dying wish or whatever. Naoku'll help you. He's a jerk but he's reliable._

_I don't have too much time, but there's one last thing I want to tell you. It's about your Gramps. You probably know by this point – I can't see you making it this far without finding out – but he's part of the Akatsuki. He uses the name 'Kakuzu' now and... Mizuko, he's really bad news. I've heard some of the things he's done and none of them are good. He does it all for money, and he sends it all back to the village for you. It's pointless if you ask me; I know you won't want his dirty money anyway. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. Before he left he told the elders that if anyone told you the truth, he'd spread everything he knew about the village to the four corners of the globe._

_Well, I guess I'll be seeing you. See you on the other side!_

_Hiroshi_

_xxx_

As I finished the letter I turned back to Naoku, tears in my eyes and a genuine smile on my lips. So Hiroshi had known even before I had? I suppose it was to be expected. He _was_ my best friend after all.

"I take it by the expression you're wearing that this is goodbye then?" Naoku asked, smiling himself.

I nodded, laughing brokenly and sniffing. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."

We hugged then, long and hard, because neither of us knew when we might meet again – _if_ we would meet again. Hiroshi's letter had been a real eye-opener. It was like he'd given me the permission I'd so desperately craved; the permission to be free and to give in to my heart's desires. And for that, I loved him more than I loved my own soul.

It was good to be free.

**One chapter left. I'm not sure about the end of this chapter but honestly I just wanted it over with. It's the longest chapter I've ever written for _any_ story and it was starting to wear on my nerves. The entire story is really – I want it to be over already. T_T**

**Last chapter might be up later today. Then again might not.**


	25. The Perfect Ending

_Ten Years Later_

"Ichiro! Shun! Get your butts in here now!" I yelled out the back door, scanning the surrounding forest for any sign of my boys hiding in the shrubbery. Not that I expected to spot them even if they were – they'd long since mastered the shinobi art of concealing themselves in the leafy surroundings encircling our home. Or was it just the boyish art of avoiding their mother they'd mastered? It was hard to say for sure and my lazybones husband wasn't giving any indication that _he _knew either.

But I didn't mind. Not really.

Ichiro, five, and Shun, four, were spirited lads and they loved playing in the woods as much as I had when I was their age – I couldn't very well complain when I'd done exactly the same in my time. Still, I was certain that if I let them they'd hide out there all day, completely forgetting about lunch and dinner – and bedtime too I'll wager! And that was something I simply wouldn't allow. Nope. It wouldn't do to have my beautiful sons running around without a proper meal in their bellies.

Turning away from the door, I re-entered our kitchen and stirred the potato and leek soup again, smiling to myself when I felt the tiny flicker of chakra stir within me. At twenty-eight weeks gone, my stomach was the size of a melon and every so often my little girl would give me a cheerful kick to remind me she was there. It was hardly necessary; it's not as if I were likely to forget seeing as I'd nagged Deidara constantly since Shun was born about getting his butt in gear and giving me a daughter. Now that I'd gotten my wish it was all I could think about. Imagine; my own gorgeous baby girl! I couldn't wait and Ichiro and Shun were looking forward to having a little sister too.

I felt the presence enter behind me from the hall and grinned to myself like a silly lovestruck teenager. They say that the fire dies down when a couple has been together as long as Dei and myself, but whoever 'they' is they're wrong. Our love only grew stronger with the years and I still got butterflies whenever he was around; my heart still sung when I meet his perfect blue eyes and I still considered myself the luckiest woman on earth to have him.

It seemed like only yesterday we'd fled Waterfall Village together. The years had been tough but we'd fought through together and each day only made us stronger.

"Hey gorgeous." he greeted, coming up behind me and wrapping his strong arms around my waist to rub my swollen belly. "What's that delicious smell, un?"

I laughed and craned my head back to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Potato and leek soup, love. It'll be ready soon." I replied, leaning into him as he trailed butterfly kisses up the side of my neck.

I never tired of Deidara's tender side – the side he'd nurtured slowly over time since leaving Akatsuki to run away with me. Of course, Akatsuki was old news these days. They'd disbanded the year before Ichiro was conceived, which was a spot of good luck in my opinion because it had meant we were free to claim the old hideout as our home, putting an end to the endless travelling and providing a suitable environment to bring our children into.

"No. That's not it, un." he hummed against the sensitive skin behind my ear. "It smells _way_ tastier that soup."

"Alright, what is it you want?" I laughed, turning in his arms and gazing up into his wonderful blue eyes. So far, our children had both taken my eyes – a molten gold colour that was set off by their white-blond hair beautifully. It was a shame really. Deidara's eyes were so much better.

"Who said I wanted anything, un?" he smirked, pressing his forehead against mine. "I just wanted to pay my girl a compliment is all."

"Sure you did. Spill." I breathed, stealing a quick kiss and grinning as he blinked in surprise. Deidara was so delightfully easy to get information from a quick kiss here, a light touch there and he was practically telling me his life story. He was nothing but my willing little pawn when I turned on the seduction.

"I, uh, just wondered if Tsukai and Hidan could use the guest bedroom." he stuttered, shivering involuntarily as my small hand ghosted up his shirt and over his bare back.

My mood immediately soured and I withdrew my hand with an irritated huff.

"Of course Tsukai can use our bedroom. She's welcome here any time – you know that." I grunted, returning to my soup with a scowl, making it obvious that the offer was for his sister and no one else.

"Mizuko..."

"No Deidara. I will not have that... that _animal _ in here again! Polluting our sons' minds with bad language and violence and... and heaven knows what else!" I exclaimed, whirling on my other half brandishing the wooden spoon from my soup pot.

"Tsukai promised she'd make him behave this time. And besides, he _is _the boys' uncle, un." Deidara pointed out, hands raised against my wooden weapon – he knew I would be perfectly happy to smack him with it if he pushed the wrong buttons.

"Humph." I snorted, giving him a withering glare. "Uncle indeed! They may be married but I'll never accept him as anything but the annoying ex-priest he is."

Hidan was one of only three surviving Akatsuki members, the others being Deidara and Kisame. We still saw Kisame from time to time, and I was glad of that – except for Deidara, he was the person I was closest to within the group. Hidan and Tsukai's visits were even less regular, and although I missed Tsukai a lot when she went off on her long journeys, I missed her husband decidedly less.

I was of the steadfast opinion that Hidan should still be buried in the Nara clan's forest in Fire Country. Lucky for him – and to my continuing annoyance – Tsukai had tracked him down and put the pieces of his body back together again. And although he'd given up Jashinism for Tsukai's sake and had thus become mortal again, I had yet to find a way to kill him and make it look suitably accidental.

"C'mon Mizuko. He'll be good this time, un. I promise." Deidara muttered, enveloping me in a warm embrace and planting little kisses over the bridge of my nose.

I sighed, knowing I'd know no peace until I relented. "Alright fine. But you tell him that if he puts a single toe out of line, he'll be spending the night in the boys' tree-house!"

"Duly noted." he smiled, sealing my lips with one last kiss – this one deeper and longer than the others – before turning and taking his seat at the table.

It hadn't been even five minutes when the front door suddenly went.

I turned and narrowed my eyes at Deidara, who shrugged innocently and continued reading the magazine Kisame had sent him last week (free of nudity and triple X material, as were my orders to the old shark). Something told me I'd been played.

"Deidara, do me a favour and go bring the boys in for lunch while I answer the door." I called to him on my way into the hall.

Opening the front door, I was greeted by two familiar faces. One was very welcome. The other, not-so-much. At the very least, Hidan brushed up well. He had the decency to be fully clothed this time

"Is it safe yet?" the blonde haired woman asked with a pleasant smile.

"Tsukai!" I beamed, drawing her into a hug and eyeing her 'husband' over her shoulder. Holding her at arms length, I raised an eyebrow at her stomach critically. It could just be me, but I thought it seemed a tad bigger than last time. "You putting on weight, girl?"

She blushed and nodded, moving back and taking Hidan's arm in hers with a shy chuckle. To my surprise he smirked proudly and pulled her in close – he wasn't normally one for public displays of affection. Then, not so surprising, he puffed his chest out arrogantly like a man who'd just won the world weightlifting competition.

"Yup!" she chirped happily. "We're having a baby, Hidan and me."

I laughed and pulled her into another big hug, talking away at her at a hundred miles and hour. What sex was it? When was it due? Was she excited? What would she call it? You know; the usual stuff.

"Hate to interrupt but could we move this to the kitchen? I'm starving!" Hidan boomed in his typically conceited voice. I turned to him in slight shock and resentment. He hadn't sworn once in that sentence! Looks like Tsukai's training was starting to work it's magic.

"I hope you've got your dog well and truly muzzled this time, Tsukai." I warned her, hating to ruin our reunion by talking about that self-righteous jerk.

"He'll be on his very best behaviour this time. Won't you honey?" Tsukai asked him sharply, daring him with her eyes to disagree.

"Sure thing. Good as gold – that's me." Hidan dismissed, surprising me _again_ with the lack of profanities.

"I'll believe it when I see it." I muttered, leading our guests to the kitchen where Deidara and my boys were just seating themselves at the table. Along with two extras I hadn't expected.

"Kisame? _Naoku_?!" I gasped, stunned (and if I'm being honest, slightly suspicious) by the arrival of so many guests in so little time.

"Hello Mizuko. Long time no see." Naoku greeted, wrapping an arm around me briefly and looking very ill at ease. The last time we'd met had been three years ago at Shun's first birthday and he hadn't been very comfortable then either. I'd assured him time and again that none of the ex-Akatsuki members would lay so much as a finger on him (not if they didn't want to face the full wrath of an enraged Mizuko that is), but my words never had much effect on him. He always had the look of a man surrounded on all sides by enemies. I'd come to the conclusion that I should just consider myself lucky he still sneaked away to see me once in a while, and leave it at that.

"It is!" I chuckled, looking him up and down and noting the little changes. He'd grown a bit in ten years and his hair was still as long as ever, but his face had lost much of that girlish quality it once had. I noted the new uniform with a pleased grin, pointing up at his head where a white mask with decidedly feline features sat haphazardly. "ANBU now, eh? When did that happen?"

"Last month. I just finished my first solo mission and decided I'd drop in and say hello." I raised an eyebrow. Something wasn't right here; I mean _all _of my friends around at the same time without me knowing a thing about it? I smelled a rat.

"Well it's always good to see you, Nao. How's Mei?" I quizzed, thinking about Naoku's girlfriend and my old friend for the Academy days.

"Fine. She's got her hands full with running the café most days but we're talking about getting a place together."

"That's great! I'm really happy for you, Nao." I gushed, glad that he was finally settling down with a nice girl. It was about time he got himself a little wife and kids.

"Yo! Am I just here for decoration or what? Give me some love, sweet cheeks!" interrupted a loud, laughing voice. I turned to Kisame with a wry smile, wrapping my arm around his thick neck (with difficulty!) and placing a great big kiss on his blue cheek before turning to the kids.

"Boys, go wash your hands before lunch. If you eat it all you can have some ice cream, 'kay?"

"Yes, mommy." they intoned, leaving the kitchen in a flash, racing each other to the bathroom.

I indicated for all of our guests to take a seat and asked Deidara to fetch more chairs from the cupboard under the stairs. When he returned and when everybody was sitting with a steaming bowl of soup in front of them – thank _goodness_ I'd made an extra large batch – I probed for the reason behind their sudden appearance.

"So... To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this afternoon?" I queried, blowing gently on my spoonful of soup and shooting a sharp look at Ichiro and Shun, who were wrestling noisily at the end of the table.

"We were in the neighbourhood," the all answered at the same time. I cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Deidara from the corner of my eye. Something was definitely fishy here.

"Is that a fact?"

"Hey! Hey mommy! Guess what! Uncle Kisame taught me a new move today!" Shun giggled, and promptly made a hand sign. The result was a rather pathetic – though impressive for his age – water clone morphing from the sink water.

"Wow! Very good Shun!" I praised, narrowing my eyes at Kisame. "When did he have time to teach you _that_, sweetie?"

"He's been playing with us all day!" Ichiro chipped in, grinning at his Uncle who shamelessly grinned back.

"Oh? He failed to mention that. Seriously, what's going on guys?" I frowned, looking around the table.

Deidara sighed, getting to his feet and ruffling our sons' hair. "You were meant to keep that a secret, un!" he chuckled, moving around the table until he was standing in front of me. I looked up into his twinkling eyes, anxious.

"What is it? What's the matter, Dei?" I gulped, grasping at his hand for comfort. To my shock, he got down on one knee, continuing to look into my eyes as he spoke.

"Mizuko, un. We've been together for ten years now and they've been the greatest ten years I've ever had. We've had two wonderful sons together," he said, nodding at Ichiro and Shun who gave him the thumbs up. "We're expecting our first daughter, un," He gave my belly a tender rub with his free hand. "And we've pretty much done all the things any other couple would do together. Except one."

He took a deep breath and, in a clear strong voice, asked me the question I'd never thought to hear falling from his lips.

"Mizuko Shinoske, will you marry me?"

I was utterly stunned. We'd discussed marriage before – _of course_ we had – but the timing had just never seemed right. The first chunk of our relationship had been spent on the run; the second chunk bringing up our children. But now he'd finally popped the question. And really, there was only one thing to say.

"_Yes_!" I cried, throwing my arms around him and kissing every inch of his face I could reach. When I met his lips he opened his mouth, and we kissed like it was the very first time. There was no one else in the room but us and I was totally, utterly happy.

"Hey, hey! Easy on the lip action there! There're kids here!" Kisame rumbled, laughing his deep, sonorous laugh.

I resurfaced reluctantly but didn't release Deidara's hand from mine, looking around at my friends with a massive beam on my face. It was the perfect ending to my tale of misery, woe and – most importantly – all conquering love. There were only two people absent who I wished could have been there to share in my joy, but even if I couldn't see them I knew they were close by, watching me and protecting me. My best friend Hiroshi, who'd died all those years ago to save me. And of course my mother, who'd died right here in this very house, of an incurable illness, with her loving daughter, son-in-law and grandsons.

Despite everything that had happened to me – those long, arduous months as Akatsuki's captive, the torturous days after my escape, and the years of hardship as a fugitive with Deidara – I was finally getting what I'd always wanted. My happy ending. The perfect ending to a story full of pain and suffering.

And as I looked around the table into the faces of the people I loved, I remembered my old philosophy. The one that I'd abandoned so long ago now: 'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about.'.

That one may have been proven dead wrong but no one could accuse me of lacking the ability to adapt. My new philosophy was this:

'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about... but it sure as hell makes you feel better!'

And as Hiroshi would say: 'Ain't it the truth!'

**DONE! At long last this story is OVER! :D I'm so happy I could cry! I can get on with my life now! XD**


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